.

43. Legend: Not Quite a Turk (Anymore)

Tseng approached cautiously. It wasn't apparent in his step or posture, but he was wary. Legend sat on the street corner being tended by a medic, though his entire bearing radiated disinterest. It was as if his arm wasn't even a part of him; like a bag he had been asked to hold for someone else while they were in the restroom.

Tseng cleared his throat.

"Don't. Even." Legend didn't raise his voice or look up but the threat was clear.

"You need to file a report."

"I said," he growled, "Don't even."

"And I said you need to file a report." Tseng waited for him to lift his gaze but Legend continued to stare at the asphalt. "Only you know the full extent of what happened here." Legend was the sole survivor of the massacre. Richie and Helena had only been there for the last part and couldn't answer the crucial questions.

"Uh-huh."

"Is that all you have to say?"

"Uh-huh."

Tseng linked his hands behind his back. "I understand that you've been through a lot tonight–"

"You don't understand shit." Finally Legend looked up, revealing his single burning eye, brimming with grief and hatred. It was so unlike anything Tseng had ever seen from him before that he actually paused to process the sight, unable to summon a suitable response as fast as he usually would. Legend took the opportunity to get to his feet, pushing aside the medic. He swayed but also refused Tseng's help. "Fuck off!"

"Legend," Tseng said softly.

"I told you to fuck off!" Legend shouted.

"I know. The only reason you're not flat on your ass right now is because I am respecting your right to mourn. You lost two colleagues and your hand tonight. That's a lot for anyone to take."

"Colleagues?" Legend loosed a harsh, barking laugh. "Yeah, but we ain't just anyone, right? We're Turks. We're meant to be made of fucking stone, right? Turks don't care about death; just part of the job, yeah? Dish out some death before breakfast and bury a colleague before lunch. Fucking bullshit." He pulled his arm away from the medic who was still trying to tend it. "Fuck off already! Can't you people take a hint?"

The medic looked to Tseng for guidance. Tseng inclined his head, giving silent permission for the man to escape, which he did with all speed. In his wake Tseng stepped towards Legend, quite possibly risking life and limb by getting too close.

"You broke protocol by coming here alone tonight; you and Rod."

"And look where it got him. Or did you not notice his corpse when you did your walkthrough? He was under the gigantic pile of dead bodies."

Tseng didn't rise to the bait. "You know you'll have to face official reprisals for your decisions tonight."

"You actually think I care?" Legend's eye flashed white-hot. "I already faced my reprisals. I'm done, Tseng. I am done."

Tseng didn't react for a second. "No, you're not."

"Try to stop me." Legend waved the stump that had once been his hand. "I'm out. I'm done. This is me, being done." He whirled on his heel and made as if to walk away.

"Shinra will never let you be done."

The words were like a rope around his waist, dragging him back and holding him in place. He didn't turn back. "And you're Shinra," he said without so much as swivelling his head. "Tseng the perfect Turk. You gonna put me in the ground, Tseng? 'Cause that's the only way you're gonna stop me walking away right now."

"I don't want this to get ugly," Tseng said, quiet as salt sinking into snow.

"Newsflash; it already is."

"They won't let you leave like this."

"So you want me to just fall back into line and shut the fuck up?"

"I didn't say that."

"You didn't have to." Legend made to run his hand through his hair, froze and slowly looked up at his injury. He stayed that way for a long moment, staring at the evidence of the evening. As if he could have forgotten.

Tseng waited. Legend wasn't stupid. He had been a Turk for a long, long time; long enough to understand the inner workings of the job. Long enough to know that what Shinra wanted, Shinra got, and if Shinra didn't want you to leave, you didn't. You couldn't.

Finally Legend dropped both arms to his sides. They hung limply; defeated. "What the fuck do you want from me?" he asked, all the fire gone from his voice. "I don't have anything left to give."

"It's not me who wants something from you," Tseng replied.

"So what does Shinra want from me? I … I can't do this anymore, Tseng." His head dipped forward, the slightest of tremors creeping into his tone. "I meant it: stick a fork in me 'cause I'm done. I just … can't deal with this shit anymore. It's too much. I've been here too many times. I've lost … I've lost more than I thought I'd ever care about and I've done it more than once. I can't do it again. Not anymore."

"You may think differently when you've had a chance to recover."

"No, I won't," Legend said with absolute certainty. "I already came back to the job once after it nearly finished me. I know what I'd be walking away from and what I'd be walking into. We can't be normal after doing this. Retirement isn't something we've ever factored into our futures. But you gotta understand: I'm no good anymore. I'd be a liability if I stick around."

Tseng nodded. "So not an active member."

"Why do I have to be a member at all? Cut me loose. You can do it; you got the power."

"Not that much."

"Is it really so much to ask?" Legend turned slowly and the raw emotion in his gaze was intolerable. Tseng knew in that moment that he had been telling the truth: he was no longer Turk material. Legend had broken like glass under too much pressure tonight and this job would not allow for him to be put back together. "Is freedom too much for us after the kind of shit we've done?"

Tseng didn't say anything. Instead, he looked at his watch. He still had to speak with Helena and Richie again to get a fuller account of what had happened. Helena had barely spoken when he got a brief rundown of the events leading up to his summons to this part of Midgar, so Richie had filled in the blanks while his partner stared blankly into space. Tseng had seen the carnage inside the old abattoir, including Naifu's body. Despite what Legend claimed, he wasn't made of stone. His stomach still threatened to embarrass him at just the memory.

"You'll be under house arrest in Costa Del Sol pending my official investigation into your conduct and breach of hierarchy tonight."

Legend stared. Comprehension dawned a half-second later. He got it. This was the best Tseng could do for him. The investigation would happen according to Tseng's timeline, nobody else's. Shinra would want to hush up this trouble, not draw attention to it. If Tseng could sweep it under the carpet they wouldn't question his methods any more than they usually did.

"Thanks," Legend said brusquely.

Tseng said nothing; just nodded and walked back into the bloodbath that had irrevocably altered his team.