Hey guys, it's Mew here! I just wanted to say I sorry for the delay on this one, the last weeks have been a nightmare with school work and stuff -_-. Anyway, just wanted to say that the both this story and the SAO story are on the works, I just hadn't had time to write at all. I'm going to start working on my next SAO chapter, but right after that one is finished, DDLC is coming back okay? Btw, if you really want some updates and previews on both stories, follow me on Instagram. It's the same username as my chat in this chapter, mew_toretto. Anyway, thanks for sticking with me and enjoy the reading! :)
Chapter 3 – Underestimated?
At around 05:45 PM, I arrived home. Normally I would have arrived much earlier, but since the reason I didn't was joining the Literature Club I definitely couldn't be mad at that. I headed to the living room right after entering, left my bag on the side couch and then I sat on the sofa.
I got the TV controller and I was about to turn it on when my phone vibrated in my left pocket. I checked it to find some chat notifications, with the main one showing (lilmonix3 as added you to the "Doki Doki Literature Club" chat group). "Nice, Sayori actually didn't forget to ask Monika to add me to the group". I unlock my phone and check out the group chat, where apparently the girls have been talking about the festival.
lilmonix3 (new): I was thinking about some stuff we could do for the festival, but some of the stuff I had in mind is going to need more people to help…
happy_thoughts (new): but now we have Mew, so we can use his help where we might need the most. :)
yuritakahashi_6 (new): Sayori is right, he can provide a big help in whatever thing we need help with.
mangaislitt (new): You just need to see where his help is needed the most.
yuritakahashi_6 (new): Although most boys don't really like helping with stuff like these, you all think he will?
happy_thoughts (new): yeah, sure he will! he wouldn't join the club just for fun, I'll tell you that…
I decide to intervene before someone starts thinking I'm not doing anything. I start typing my message when a message from Natsuki pops before I send mine.
mangaislitt (new): He didn't seem that kind of guy, I think he would help…
My heart skipped a beat while reading it. She actually has some consideration for me. I was actually quite stunned by it. She seemed a bit off with the idea of a guy getting in the club in the beginning, but after I complimented her cupcakes she seems to have started kind of letting me get a bit loose. Maybe I can actually talk to her without her insulting me most of the time. I was about to send the message when I took a closer look to her username…is she serious? No way she likes manga… does she? I'm not that lucky, surely not… now I really have to ask her. I decide to close this argument about me not doing anything to help and then I might send a message to Natsuki asking.
mew_toretto: Talking about someone in his back? You girls shouldn't do that! I'm joking XD. Anyway, of course, I'm helping! And Natsuki is right I'm not that type of guy, you just have to say where do you need help and I'll try to help the best I can! By the way, thanks Natsuki :)
happy_thoughts: see?! I told you he would! :D
yuritakahashi_6: I was just asking, sorry if I hurt you…hope you're not mad…
mew_toretto: Don't worry, I'm not mad at all.
lilmonix3: Thanks Mew, this will make things much easier! Tomorrow after we share poems, we will be deciding what to do and who will do what for the festival, sounds good?
mew_toretto: Sounds good to me!
yuritakahashi_6: I'm okay with it.
happy_thoughts: alright, me too of course! :D
Natsuki took a bit to answer, but eventually, her response came…
mangaislitt: Yeah, let's do that.
lilmonix3: Alright, that seals it! See you all tomorrow then! Don't forget the poems!
I was kind of forgotten about the poem, but I'm not gonna clear the notification of Monika's last message so I'm sure I don't forget about it. I opened a private chat with Natsuki. I wanted to talk to her, but I didn't know how I would start the conversation. I still wanted to ask her about her username, but I'm not sure if she would want to talk to me, even though I still think she kind of flirted with me when she called me dummy… what do I do? I mean I guess asking doesn't hurt…
I was about to start writing when, to my surprise, Natsuki sent me a message on a private chat between us two.
mangaislitt: I wasn't being nice to you, just so you know! *x*
mew_toretto: I wasn't thanking you for being nice.
mangaislitt: Then why did you? :/
mew_toretto: Because you defended me because you thought I wasn't that kind of person. I thanked you for that :)
She took a bit to answer:
mangaislitt: Whatever...it's just an opinion. When you got into the club room I thought you were just there because the club was full of girls… -.-
mew_toretto: I didn't know the club just had girls, I checked it out because Sayori wouldn't let me check other clubs without checking hers…
mangaislitt: When you talked about what was bringing you to the club with Monika I understood it… I kinda saw the way you looked at Sayori before you answer Monika…
mew_toretto: The way I looked at Sayori? What do you mean?
I was confused, did she mean when I looked at her because she blackmailed me into going to check out the Literature Club or something else?
mangaislitt: Never mind…
I'm confused… I decide to forget it and ask what I was curious about:
mew_toretto: You know, I was about to send a message to you when you sent the first one XD
mangaislitt: What?! Why?!
mew_toretto: I got curious about your username, do you like manga? :|
mangaislitt: What's the problem with it?! If you're gonna say something negative, you better keep your mouth shut…
Wow, she actually likes manga too! She is cute and likes manga, how is that possible?!
mew_toretto: No, no not at all, I like manga too! Why would I say that? :)
mangaislitt: Ahah you're so funny, you can cut the act now…
mew_toretto: No, serious! I like manga!
mangaislitt: Come on, stop playing!
mew_toretto: I'm not playing!
mangaislitt: Alright, if you're not playing, tell me. What manga are you reading right now?
mangaislitt: Oh, wait a second…
mew_toretto: I started reading Teasing Master Takagi-san a couple of days ago! :)
mew_toretto: The first season of the anime ended last week and I didn't want to stop so I started reading the anime! XD
I waited a bit, it was around 7:00 PM already when I took a look at the hours. I was still waiting for Natsuki's answer but she wasn't responding. Maybe she is having dinner? I don't know, but it was entirely possible. I started playing one of my favorite games on my phone when it was around 7:45 PM. I should start my own dinner. Usually, I have dinner late, around 9:00 PM, so I start cooking it around this time. I decide to make pasta for my dinner.
It's around 9:55 PM when I finished eating my dinner. I sat down on the sofa with my phone connected to the TV watching anime. Natsuki hadn't replied in almost two hours. Maybe something happened, or maybe she just doesn't feel like answering. Suddenly the anime stops and a notification pops in my TV. It was her.
mangaislitt: Hey, I'm back. Wow, you actually know manga. You watch anime too?!
mew_toretto: Yeah, I love anime, most of the manga I read comes from seeing those animes first. But I still read some mangas on their own.
mangaislitt: You actually surprised me…
mew_toretto: With what? With liking manga and anime?
mangaislitt: Yeah… tomorrow I'm gonna show you something. I've gotta go, talk with you tomorrow…
mew_toretto: Oh, okay then. Bye, see you tomorrow.
Her account goes offline. She is still a bit harsh, but at least she hasn't been that aggressive in comparison to how she behaved when we met each other. Either way, maybe I misjudged her. Still not sure, but I want to give it a shot. Surely it will not be easy, she will definitely make sure of that, but I also know she is the one girl I ever genuinely attracted to the point of actually trying to get close to her, at least I want to get to know her...and she said she would talk to me tomorrow, so at least I have a chance tomorrow…
Anyway, since she is offline and that it's already 10:05 PM, I better go take a shower and get myself ready for tomorrow. I still have to get my poem done too. It took me a bit, but I managed to make a poem with "respectable" quality for the club meeting tomorrow. I ended up going to bed around 10:40 PM.
I woke up earlier than usual, it was 5:30 AM when I took a look at my alarm clock. I don't feel like sleeping more…I'm going to the beach…
From time to time I have these days when I wake up sooner than usual, and when that happens I always take advantage of it to go to the beach to surf a bit. I learned how to surf when I was a kid, but with school, I don't really have time.
I quickly got up, washed my face to help me wake up, got my stuff ready (surfboard, swimsuit and equipment, bag, etc…) and headed to the beach.
It was around 7:30 AM, so I got home in time to not be late for school. I took a quick shower, had simply some toasts for breakfast and grabbed two cereal bars and my bag to get going. Sayori didn't send a message yesterday, not that she had to, we always go together to school, but usually, she has been always asking if we were going together. I should ask her if she is alright, maybe is something going and she needs to talk about it.
I arrive at her house and eat the first of my cereal bars while I wait for her. Unlike yesterday, she got out around two minutes after my arrival. "Mew! You came!" She closes the door behind her and quickly hugs me after it. "S-Sayori what are you doing?" She releases me right after it. "Your hair is wet, did you go to the beach today?" "Yeah, I did. Why were you so surprised for me being here?" "I thought you were not coming…" I'm confused… "Why would I not come? We always go to school together…" "W-We do?" "Of course we do, I mean if you wake up in time that is…" As I expected, she takes it too seriously. "AWWW, MEANIE! Oh…" She takes a look at my cereal bar "Eheh, hey Mew, are you going to finish that?" "Yes…why? Didn't you have breakfast?" "No…" This girl doesn't exist… "You're outside of your house, you still have time to at least have a toast and you were going to leave without eating?" "Eheh, please don't be mad…" "Sayori, you have to take better care of yourself…" I take a look at my watch on my left hand. It's 8:13 AM "You go in and at least drink a cup of milk, we have the first class together so after first class we go get you something to keep you good until lunch okay?." Sayori looks at me kind of confused, but then blushes a bit and smiles. "You always take care of me don't you?" "If I don't, who will? Come on, we have to be quick so we don't get late…" She smiled again and did what I told her. I might have been a bit harsh, but she knows why. I hate to see anyone I care for not caring for themselves…
We had to run, but we actually managed to get to class in time. At the first break, we had Sayori managed to eat a sandwich before going to her next class so I actually took care of her. Seriously, she should care more about her… anyway.
While the day was going, I started thinking about my poem. I could try to get close to Natsuki with my poems. But what if the girls find what I am doing? I blush with the thought and I take it off my mind. I just have to write in a way that they don't get but Natsuki might get. I gave it a serious thought and decided to write another a different poem for the club, having Natsuki in my mind has the poem takes shape…I got rid of the 1st one when I finished…
Reality…
My reality wasn't much
Nothing to brag about,
No color, no touch,
No apparent route.
Then you appeared
And all changed in an instant
All the grey was cleared
Even while you were distant...
Unthinkable it seemed
Impossible at first glance,
A reality of which I dreamed
But I will fight for a chance.
For as unreachable as it may be,
That giant hill's peak
A shot at that reality,
That is all I seek.
The day went by as, eventually, time for me to go to the literature club arrived. As I entered the club room, Monika greeted me right away "Hey Mew, glad to have you back! I was wondering if you would run away on us, ahahah!" "Hey Monika, glad to be back! Oh come on, you already think that little of me?" "Ahah, of course, I'm not silly, I'm just playing with you." "Good to know!" We smile at each other has Monika goes towards the Teacher's computer. She might be organizing the stuff we are doing today!
From what I can see, I'm the last arrival. It's natural since I had cleaning duty after last class. Anyway, Yuri waves as she gets up from her seat and politely shows appreciation for my commitment to the literature club. I was only late because of the cleaning duty, it's not like I was skipping girls! Sayori joins our conversation "See, I told you he was coming! He just took his time." "I had cleaning duty, that's why I didn't come right away…". As I was talking; I took a quick look at the remaining of the room that I didn't look at. Natsuki was nowhere to be seen…weird, wasn't she showing me something today?
Has that thought comes to mind, Natsuki appears behind me, crossing her arms. "You better be telling the truth. If you don't take the club serious you won't see the end of it!" I wanted to tease her but the girls are all here around us, maybe I can do a little wordplay…I don't know if she will get it but I can try… "Don't worry, I'm will not let you down." I smile at her. As she looks at me she gradually blushes and gets away from us going to the classroom's closet. I kept talking to the other girls normally, so I guess none of them got what I meant. At that point, I was talking directly to Natsuki, and not to the girls in general.
Anyway, eventually we ended up splitting and I took that opportunity to leave my bag at the desk I sat on yesterday and went to the closet looking for Natsuki.
She was looking for something when I arrived. I noticed a pink book on the floor. I pick it up and take a look at it…Parfait Girls… I open it in a random page and noticed right away that it was a manga. It must be what she is searching… "Hey, is this what you looking for?" She looks at me and blushes while taking the book of my hand. She probably didn't notice me approaching her…
"Finally! Now…" She places it in a box along with other books, it seems to me that it's the full collection of the series and for her choice to put the box on a shelf around her height and the box perfectly fitting between everything else I can tell she keeps the collection here. She looked really worried for it while searching for the one that was missing, so she must really care for it. I don't know the manga so I try asking about it, it might get her interested…
"Is that what you wanted to show me?" she looks at me a barely blushed and kind of disbelieved by my interest "Ah…y-yeah! And you're gonna read at least the first chapter, even if think it's you will not like it, alright?" The cover didn't catch my attention too much, but I think I will not have much choice…I guess if it gives me more time to spend with Natsuki I can't refuse… am I that much into this girl? I actually never gave it much thought, but now that I really think about it…yeah, I might be. Even though she is a bit hard to deal with, I haven't had many problems dealing with it until now…she loves manga and seems to like anime too, my two favorite hobbies beyond surf…and to my surprise she looks like she is not that aggressive to me all the time, which might give me a chance…
"Hey! Are you listening?" "Huh…y-yeah I am! Sure, I'll take a look at it if you want" She looks intrigued "What were you thinking about?" I blush to the surprise of the question "H-Huh…nothing…" She blushes while looking at me "Y-You know what, I don't even wanna know. You were probably thinking about dirty things, you pervert…" "W-What?! I WASN'T…oh, you know what we better just start reading, isn't it?" She is still blushing but I think my reaction kind of told her I didn't really appreciate her comment… "Y-Yeah, let's do that…"
God sake…we went from me teasing her and doing well on looking interested on her manga to a bad comment from her leading into an overreaction from me killing all the mood between us two...how do I get back in this…oh…this might be risky, but it might just work…
I was going to sit on a chair when Natsuki sits on the floor. She looks at me and points to the place on her left in the floor, right beside her. "It's better if we read here, it makes easier for both of us to read at the same time." She kind of has a point… "Alright…" I sit beside her. She scoots a bit so now she doesn't have close to me as she would have been, but I don't take it that bad. I know she doesn't trust people that easily, so I don't blame her for doing it…
"You know? I kind of was thinking about dirty things…" She blushes hard looking at me as shocked as she can get. I can't help but laugh at her expression. "Y-You pervert! You could have just told me you weren't thinking that you dummy! I thought you were serious for a second…" She turns her eyes to her manga to open it in the first page. She is blushing hard and has a very embarrassed expression. YES! The mood is back! That's much better…
"Alright let's see what that is all about…" She gives me her manga and I take it and start reading. In the first pages, I get a bit of an introduction of the characters. Basically, the story is about a group of high school girls living through their teenage lives. A bit of a basic concept but I can't really tell if it's going to be good or not since I still don't know what will be going on around the story, but it seems interesting until now.
"Hey, are you reading or simply looking at the book?" Natsuki breaks my focus on the manga but I don't really understand what she was asking. "I'm reading, I was just concentrated and it didn't happen anything special until now…" "Oh…now that you mention it, I get your point. But that's only because they are helping us to know the characters and their personalities. It will start to have a proper plot after it, or were you just thinking I would enjoy something without a plot? She looks at me kind of annoyed but her expression appears to show a bit of concern. She might be worried that I don't take her manga seriously because it's not happening anything right now, it might be good to try and calm her concern a bit. "No, of course, I don't think that. But I am reading so don't worry okay? At least I'll read the first one so you get a proper shot at making me interested in your manga okay?" I smile at her and she blushes. "W-Whatever…do what you want… " she avoided eye contact after I smiled at her. She might be trying to not make it obvious, but she liked my answer. Even a guy like me is able to notice, so I'm probably doing something good…
"When the story properly starts and the comedy scenes, the dramatic moments and their romantic arcs start to actually take shape, THAT'S when you really see how good this manga is!" Wow, you really love this manga, huh? And after what you said even I wanna read more because now it actually looks like it might be very good. I might have underestimated you. She smiles at me triumphantly, happy with maybe getting me addicted to the manga, but then quickly turns her expression to a kind of an annoyed one. "Wait, hey! What do you mean with that?!" She quickly shoves her elbow on my back but it doesn't hurt. "I was just saying that like I haven't seen the best of you yet…" "Hmph…good save…" She slightly blushes but she doesn't appear to be embarrassed, maybe flattered? I don't really know.
We got back to the book after that. Apparently, this chapter revolves around baking. "Hey, does the manga revolve around their romantic interests and her love for baking?" "Yeah, why?" "I was just thinking about it because you like baking as well." She gets a bit embarrassed "That's…just a coincidence! I just happen to get into baking around the time I started reading this manga." I don't know if she is being sarcastic or if she is really actually trying to make me believe that didn't happen. I laugh a bit in my mind. "I feel bad for anyone that impressionable…" "That's not really bad, I find it cute." "I'M NOT CUTE!" I get scared by the surprise I got from of her shout. But then I look at her with a bit of a smug face. "Was I talking about you? I thought it had been just a coincidence for you…" She blushes hard and then spastically shakes her hands pushing me to turn me to face the book again "G-Get back to the book!" "Alright, alright…" I laugh as I get back to the book, and after I go she looks upfront to the floor just ahead of her and I get to see a slight smile on her face. It's the first time I see her smile so genuinely. She seems happy… we get back to reading. After a while, she starts getting a bit closer to me, not taking the eyes off of the book.
I started to get hungry as we read, so I get my cereal bar out of my pocket and take the plastic off. She instantly raises her head as soon as she sees my cereal bar and I notice her expression change. I don't really get it, but she seems hungry. More than me. "Do you want it?" She looks at me looking a bit confused. "Why are you offering it? I didn't ask for it…" "I-I just thought you could be hungry, I'm not that hungry so you can have it if you want." Her expression is untelling, which doesn't happen often since usually, it's easy to read through her expressions most of the time. She took some time not saying a word, but eventually, she took it and started eating it. I restarted reading, she didn't thank me. She ate the cereal bar while I continued reading, I noticed she was looking at me but before I could say anything, Monika called all the club to gather together.
I got up from the floor and so did Natsuki. I handed her manga back, but she crossed her arms instead of taking it from me. "You're just gonna give it back?" "W-What do you mean?" "Don't you want to know what happens next?" "I mean yeah, but Monika called us. And you really seemed to care about your collection…" "I-I mean yeah I do…b-but you can take it…" "A-Are you sure you want that?" "Y-Yeah…but if you damage it, you'll be sorry for it!" I have handled with manga before, but for some reason, I actually want to keep this as perfect as it could be. Also, I really don't want to find out what happens if I damage Natsuki's manga… "I handled manga before you know? But don't worry, I'll be extra careful with yours" She blushed slightly. "J-Just finish it until today so we can start the 2nd one tomorrow…" Alright, I will. Thanks!" She blushed a bit more and went to get her poem right away. I went to get my new poem and then all of us reunited.
Yuri came up to me to share her poem first. She seemed as shy about sharing it as I was, but she gave it to me politely as usual and I start reading after getting it from her. Her language was complex and the message hard to decipher. I usually write like that, but her way of writing is on a whole different level. And my messages are much more straightforward while in this poem I have to give it a second read to get it. It has a tone of resignation in the face of something inevitable. It's dark and a bit hard to get, but I eventually got it. I explain my analysis to Yuri. "Yeah, that's my perspective at least! Sorry for taking so long..." "Oh, don't worry. It allowed me time to read yours, so there is no problem! And since you analyzed it correctly I can't complain about you taking a bit longer." "Nice, glad I understood it! What did you think of mine?" "Well...is this the first poem you wrote?" "Yeah...it's a bit bad, isn't it?" "N-No, not at all! I was just surprised. I like your style of writing, the kind of words you use. I think you have a way of writing quite complex. The message is a bit too straightforward for me, but that's just my taste. It is a good poem in my opinion" "Great! Glad you liked it!"
Monika called me after I shared my poem with Yuri. "Hey, how is it doing? Having fun so far?" "I was not roasted by my mediocre writing skills, so I must be doing something right." We both laugh at the same time. I handed the poem to Monika and she started reading it. In about five minutes she was done analyzing it. "I like it! I wasn't expecting such a good poem, did you get this on the internet or something?" "No! I swear I didn't! You can check if you want!" "Ahahah, I'm just making fun of you! I just wasn't expecting it to be honest" "Really? I mean, I'm not bad on literature classes, but it's my first attempt at making a poem from scratch..." "It's really good for the first one! Did you have some inspiration?" I blushed right after she asked that. I tried to act normally but Monika saw right through my act. "So you did! And by your reaction, it has to be a girl from the club isn't it?!" "P-Please just don't say that out loud" Monika started talking quietly right after I asked her to "S-Sorry, but is it true?" I kept blushing and even before trying to answer she kept going "Its Natsuki isn't it?" I probably blushed has hard as possible when she said that because I was feeling has hot as I could get... "Actually you liking Natsuki isn't what surprised me between the two of you, you know?" "R-Really? What is it then?" "Well, what is actually surprising me is Natsuki and you are actually getting along..." "What do you mean?" "I don't know if you noticed, but Natsuki doesn't really get along with others that easily. She's our friend, but she is not really close to any of us in anyway...other than you..." "Y-You're exaggerating..." "No, the most impressive thing is that I'm really not! Look, Natsuki doesn't really get along with Yuri because Yuri doesn't really accept her writing style, doesn't really get along with Sayori because she is a bit too cheery for her and I'm the Club President and I don't have much time so I have to split with all of you, you are the only one who got who she got close to. She even let you take a book of her manga, she gets mad at me for even moving them of place! I mean, I do it because the teachers tell me to, but she gave it to you so you could read it until tomorrow..." "I-I mean..." I wanted to disagree with Monika, but looking from that perspective, I had to agree with her. I can't say she is not right because right now I'm definitely closer to Natsuki than I ever thought I would, especially since not only we just met but she doesn't really get close to anyone... "Y-Yeah, you're kind of right..." "I knew it!" She gave me the brightest of smiles. "With poems like this, I know you took a bit of an indirect approach. The message is clear, you are clearly talking about someone, but you don't specify who he or she is. The poem in itself is good, you use good language and now that I know the poem was meant for her, she clearly made a big impact on your life when you met her. The poem is good, I got it because of my dumb curiosity..." "...and my stupid acting skills..." "Ahahah, yeah that also helped! But try to be more obvious next time. That's my tip for your next poem. You might not know this, but I think although she shows big self-confidence on herself and her skills, deep down she seems to have some insecurity problems" I was quite shocked when I heard Monika say that. "R-Really? Are you sure?" "Not entirely sure, but you might see that when she shares her poem with you..." "Maybe, I'm not really sure about that but you had to come up with that from somewhere, so I'm gonna try to see if she is okay..." "Alright, thank you so much, Monika!". She shared her poem with me after our talk over Natsuki. Her poem talked about the differences between different people, about everyone being special in their own way and not being afraid of being yourself. I really loved her beliefs over that subject and clearly, Monika doesn't stand for any type of bullying. Me neither, since I had big problems throughout 7th and 8th grades with that. I made sure Monika understood how great I thought her poem was, but I wasn't biased at all because it was something really relatable for me.
I went up to Sayori, and she was clearly excited to share it with me. She handed her poem right away for me to read it. Her poem surprised me a lot. I was expecting a cutesy kind of poem, but it wasn't that much. She talked about her struggle to get out of bed unless the sunlight comes out. Somehow I feel this poem is a bit "off" of her normal personality. Is it just the thing she felt like writing about? Or does It have a deeper meaning? I read the last line that is completely off topic "I want breakfast". Then I got what this was about... "Sayori, can I ask you something?" "Huh? Sure, what's up?" "This is just a guess, but did you wrote your poem this morning after getting up?" She tries to deceive me and change the topic of the conversation, but just as Monika did with me I see right through her farse. "That's why you didn't have breakfast when you got out of your house..." "I didn't have time, don't make me feel bad about it again..." "I'm not, but you have to take care of yourself!" "I-I have you to take care of me, so why do I need to worry?" "Because eventually you'll get a boyfriend and he might not take care of you as I do, so you have to know how to take care of yourself..." She smiles and thanks me for worrying so much. Of course, I worry, she is my best friend! Why would I not? She read my poem and gave me a quick evaluation of it, basically, she liked it and understood it but wasn't able to tell me why she did so. "So you liked it because I'm your friend..." "I-I mean it's not that...but it might be one of the reasons..." I simply laughed at her reasoning, I can't complain but I hope my poem was actually good and not that she said that to not hurt me with her negative opinion...
And then, my heartbeat started increasing, and I started feeling nervous. It was the last sharing of the day, but for me, it was definitely the most important one...
Natsuki...
She was seating near the place we sat back when we were reading her manga. She was looking outside, with the window open. The slight breeze of the spring wind touched gently her hair as she glanced at some cherry bloom petals descending through the wind over to the floor outside. I stood there observing her as I was getting close to her. She was absolutely gorgeous...I couldn't tell what she was thinking, and I couldn't justify the attraction I was feeling towards her...but it existed, and it was definitely there... at that moment...
She realized I was looking, and blushed right after realizing it. "A-Are you going to sit or what?!" "S-Sorry..." I hurry and sit on the chair of the desk right in front of her. I lay my back on the wall instead of laying it on the chair's back so I could talk to Natsuki and share my poem with her. I hurry to give her my poem so I wouldn't piss her off even more.
She read my poem quietly. She took a bit to finish and played the poem with a slight blush on her face. "S-So what do you think? Is it that bad?" I try to ask as normally as I can, but her reaction worries me. I always thought the poem could get me close to her, but I never thought it could go the other way around. My heartbeat starts accelerating as I get nervous by that possibility... she still takes time to answer. "Okay, let's start with what I don't like!" Alright, here we go...HOW WAS I SO STUPID?! "First of all..." I kind of close my eyes right when she is about to start. I definitely don't want to hear this... She seems to be re-reading the poem probably to collect her thoughts and bury me in one go. She takes a bit longer. "N-Never mind, I don't feel like giving my opinion..." Eh? "Wait... what? That doesn't make sense..." "Why not?" "If you do that what's the point of sharing it in the first place?" She blushes slightly after my argument. "It wasn't easy to write it, but I still did while I could be reading a manga or doing other stuff...and I want you to feel more comfortable with sharing it, that's why I shared mine first..." She blushes a bit more before answering "I-I would be more comfortable if yours was terrible...y-you were supposed to show me some dumb poem and let me show you how to do it properly...and now you show me this, I hope you're happy with yourself..." W-WAIT A MINUTE did she just admitted having liked it?! "S-So you liked it?" She blushes hard and avoids eye contact so I can't see her blush "Y-You just... don't...understand, do you? I told you once, you don't need to go brag about it..." She is feeling so embarrassed, I don't know if it's because she got the poem or if it was because she wanted my poem to be bad, either way, I think she liked it so I'll not push her more... "Don't worry, I won't..." She looks at me still with a slight blush and locks her eyes on mine. She gets a harder blush. "W-Will you share yours with me?" She takes a while but ends up giving me the poem "... I'm sharing because I know Monika will make me if I don't..." She avoids eye contact still blushing but I don't really push since I think I already pushed her a bit and I don't know if she understood the poem.
I take the poem and start reading it. It's a very short and simple poem with a very straightforward meaning. She talks about things people being able to do but makes a contrast with the fact that unlike animals in general, people always try and never succeed. She concludes her poem with making a reference about the fact that even though she lost hope and has had enough of being disappointed with people, there may exist a light out there that might give her a glimpse of hope. I get a bit stocked by the poem since I wasn't expecting a negative vibe poem like this one from her. I get her poem nonetheless. I wonder if she feels that way about people...does she feel that way about me? I wouldn't be too shocked by that... I put that thought to the side since I think we have been good with each other throughout the day, so at least she might not think that about me...
"H-Hey? Did you finish?" I realize I spaced out in my thoughts. I look up at Natsuki and she is looking at me quite expectantly. It's normal I space out a bit from time to time, but it was actually just the first time it happened while I was with Natsuki. "S-Sorry, I was lost in the poem..." She blushes slightly looking to the side for me to not see her blush. Does she get embarrassed from me or from blushing in front of me? "S-So? What did you think?" "It's an amazing poem. You really put your way of seeing things in it and that gives me a very good perspective of your opinion. C-Can I ask you something?" I'm not quite sure if I want to ask this... "S-Sure, I guess..." "...is this really what you think?" She takes a bit answering. "...the poem?" "Yeah, do you really think that bad of people?" "...I-I've been disappointed and suffered from people too many times, I'll leave it that..." Her expression is indescribable. She showed no emotion saying that, but somehow I know she is serious about what she said. I decide not to ask anything more about it. "Anyway, the poem is great. You use a bit more simple words but the message is really telling, and I like the impact you made on the last bit." "...I-I don't really enjoy complex word writing, I prefer more simple stuff. But not in yours, it still was easy to understand..." She liked it at least, but I guess she didn't get the real meaning of it. "Alright, thanks for sharing" "Y-You're welcome..." I get up from the seat in front of her and she seems a little sad. I hope me asking about the poem didn't piss her off too much.
After around fifteen minutes Monika ended up calling it a day. We managed to share all of our poems with each other with no problems. Although Natsuki and Yuri had kind of an argument over their writing styles. I liked Natsuki's style more because I like more clear messages, but I make sure they both get that both styles are different and great nonetheless. They both got where I was coming from, even though I think Natsuki was a bit mad about not writing. I guess maybe me saying I liked hers more was enough for her to not keep arguing. Anyway, All of us said our goodbyes has me and Sayori left the club room first. Sayori seemed happy about today, and apparently, Monika gave her some good advice about making her poem even better. She also made it very really clear that she loved having me in the club together with her. She seemed happy, and I was too, so today surely was a good day! We eventually got to her house and we said our goodbyes quickly getting into her home. I guess she wanted to put Monika's advice to the test after she forgot today's poem until morning.
As I start making my way home, my mind instantly draws back to Natsuki. Even though asking about her poem might have been a bad idea, I think we got closer. And we spent A LOT more time I could ever ask for together somehow. I don't know how she doesn't get bored of me, but she didn't seem too. After today, the one thing I can say is that I really underestimated her. She is much more than just a kind of aggressive tsundere-like type of girl. She seems like a very cute girl on the inside. I hope she gets more comfortable with me throughout time. Maybe we can be together again tomorrow. I wish...