Chapter 4 – Realization…

I open my house's main door, getting it closed right after I got myself inside. I was hungry. So hungry. Giving my 2nd cereal bar to Natsuki left me without eating until now. Well, at least maybe I scored some points with her. She keeps popping in my head from time to time, something that has never happened to me before. It's…weird...

I mean, yes, she is the cutest girl I've ever seen, and we spent quite a bit of time together today, but I can't be falling for her… can I? I shake my head in denial. I need to go out for a run, clear my head for a bit…

I quickly get to my room, laying my bag beside the entrance right in front of my coat hanger. I change my school uniform into some sports clothes and lay the stuff I had in my pockets on my desk, leaving the house once again just with my headset and my sports watch on me…

The sweat drips through my forehead's skip has I get inside my room again. I lock the door after entering, looking at my sports watch right after. As I analyze the stats of my run and check my heartbeat, I notice I got back at a bit later than I wanted to. It was already around 8:30 PM, more than over the time I usually start cooking my dinner. If I get cooking now, I would probably waste too much time and probably would go to bed later than I would like. I can eat the meal I have ready for tomorrow, but I have to make some food tomorrow. Sounds like a good idea, but I have to take a shower first.

I take the stairs to my bedroom, getting my pyjamas to take them to the bathroom. My sight passes through my desk, where I placed my stuff before. My eyes land on my phone as I notice the blue light slowly appearing and disappearing on the top of the phone, on the left of the camera. My body reacts quicker than my brain, has my mind drags back to Natsuki while I get the phone from the top of the desk. The chat notification shows on the screen before I unlock the phone, but to my surprise, it was not from Natsuki, but actually from Monika. I unlock my phone to check the message…

lilmonix3 (new): Hi Mew! How are you? I mean, it's not been long since we've been together but you get the question! I was wondering how Natsuki reacted to your poem, so I couldn't resist asking!

lilmonix3 (new): Sorry!

Her chat account is offline, I assume she is probably having dinner. I start tabbing on the screen, as I write my answer.

mew_toretto: Hey! Sorry, my phone was at home and I was out running. To that question, yeah! I'm alright, tired from the run, but alright! :)

mew_toretto: The Natsuki matter, well…I mean…she liked it, although she didn't really admit it. But I don't think she got the poem was about her… :/

She will probably take a bit to answer. I'll take the chance to have my shower in the meantime. I throw my phone to my bed and get myself downstairs to the bathroom. I take a much-needed shower, which helps me relax my body, ending up making me feel a bit more tired. After two days of going to the literature club, I'm starting to feel the extra hours at school. Today was a long day. A very long day.

I get out of the shower, wearing my pyjamas right after drying my body and, as usual, I take a bit more to dry my entire long hair since I don't enjoy it excessively wet. As I enter my room, with my hair just very slightly wet, I get my phone off of my bed, Natsuki's Parfait Girls book off my bag, taking both with me and reading Monika's answer while getting downstairs once again.

lilmonix3 (new): I'm happy that you feel good, hope some of that is due to the literature club! ;) Yeah, I expected Natsuki to not get it entirely. She showed a bit of insecurity because your poem was good, wasn't it?

mew_toretto: Ahahah, maybe it is! XD

mew_toretto: Yeah, Natsuki did! To my surprise, but she did. How did you know?

I get to the fridge, getting a plastic box with some rice and fried vegetables out of it while checking my phone.

lilmonix3: Yeah, I didn't know it actually. Natsuki carries herself like the best ever, and although she is a very good writer, she is very insecure about her skill when it comes to showcasing it with others…

mew_toretto: Really? I mean, that happened today with my poem, but her poem was much better than mine. And she seemed confident in herself…how can she be insecure about her skill?

lilmonix3: …I'm not sure about that, Natsuki has not connected with the rest of the club much since she joined because she just wanted somewhere where she could read… but I think she might have trouble with her confidence, even though she kind of acts the opposite way…

I take the food off of the box into a plate, placing the plate inside the microwave and turning it on.

mew_toretto: …are you sure about that? She wouldn't have talked to me yesterday if she wasn't confident about herself…

lilmonix3: What do you mean talking yesterday? You mean in the club?

mew_toretto: She sent me a message and we ended up talking yesterday here on the chat after you added me to the group…

lilmonix3: WHAAAT?! She talked to you here?!

mew_toretto: Come on, I know I'm not the best guy to talk to, but at least you could have been a little nicer on that one… -.-

lilmonix3: That's not what I meant! Natsuki rarely talks to us on the chat! We don't even have her number! And no, it's not because we didn't ask… -.-

mew_toretto: Really? Why is that?

lilmonix3: I told you before, she has been in the club for a while and yeah, she talks to us and hangs out with us on the club and on school and stuff, but outside of school it never happened. And here in chat, she only talks mainly to give her opinion on something, and most of the time it's because we ask about her opinion. Recently she has been talking a bit more because we need her help on some stuff for the festival and about you joining the club, but even so, she still doesn't talk that much.

lilmonix3: It doesn't look like it, but she and Yuri are very good friends. They sometimes argue like you saw today on the club, but it's just when it comes to writing styles. They even joined the club at the same time! But even Yuri talks more on the club's chat group than Natsuki does, and I think you already get how timid Yuri is. Natsuki says she is always busy, but yesterday I thought she was busy again since she talked just a bit on the chat group but she talked to you after that apparently…

mew_toretto: Yeah, I get Yuri's personality, but why would Natsuki waste her time with me if she was busy then?

lilmonix3: I told you! You are connecting with her. She is getting along with you…

mew_toretto: …I don't want to believe that much in that because I'm not that lucky to have the girl I find cute liking me…

lilmonix3: You should, because I don't know what you're doing, but it's working…anyway, just wanted to know how it went, I'll let you go now.

I look and the microwave, that stopped a while ago. I restart it and write my answer…

mew_toretto: Great, I get to re-heat my dinner! :P

lilmonix3: Ahahah, sorry! I didn't know you were about to have dinner!

mew_toretto: No problem! I liked the talk, but I'm starving because I had to give my afternoon cereal bar to Natsuki in the club…

lilmonix3: Awww, that's so sweet! She will end up falling for you at this rate! ;)

Monika's answer makes me blush, hard. I can even feel my heartbeat speed up at that thought. I take time to answer, giving Monika time to send another message.

lilmonix3: You would like that wouldn't you? ;)

Monika, you….

mew_toretto: I'll go now, time for dinner! Bye, talk tomorrow! :D

lilmonix3: YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! YOU'RE IN LOVE WITH HER! :P 3

I put my phone and the book on the balcony at the kitchen, as I take food off the microwave. As I sit and start eating, my head draws back into Natsuki. My reaction to Monika's question... Nah, it's nothing. I can't possibly be in love with her with so little time of knowing her… can I? For now, I put the thought to the side, as I open Natsuki's book to finish it for tomorrow. I'm drawn by the smell of my dinner and the book's story, as the rest of the night passes by…

My thoughts drifted from Natsuki as I open my eyes. I don't know what that dream was about, but I know Natsuki was there… I'm fully awake already. 5:19 AM is what it's marking on my alarm clock. I get up from the bed and turn off the alarm for today. Hmm, two mornings surf sessions in a row… I think this is a first…

The waves are good today… big but not too harsh, good for practice. Since I haven't surfed regularly since I started school again, it's better not to push too hard. The sound of the water splashing on the beach relaxes me… helps think…and when surfing, helps me concentrate… I fell off of the last wave I caught, right when Natsuki popped in my thoughts. I don't really know how I'm feeling about her, all I know is that I want to be with her… I feel good around her… It's getting late, maybe I should start thinking about going home and getting ready for school.

The last wave is a bit more aggressive. I push a little from myself, surfing a bit more aggressively as well. While the wave calms and I stand still on top of my surfboard, something pink catches my attention and makes me look more attentively to the road walk beside the sea. To my surprise, after appearing and disappearing in my head, there she was. Looking onto the sea… in my direction…

Natsuki…

As my surfboard approaches the sand, I jump off of it, into the water. I expected her to keep her way to school, but to my surprise, she didn't. She is standing in the stairs that connect the road with the beach, waiting while she keeps her eyes on me. I try to not seem nervous or anxious while I get my stuff in my bag, get my flip-flops on my feet, and walk in her direction.

I reach her, quickly starting a conversation before she can get pissed for taking too long. "Hey! Woken so early in the morning?" She looks at me with a criticizing expression in her face "Yeah, look who is talking! You must have been here for a while now!" "Y-Yeah, you kinda caught me on that one… I woke up very early, and didn't feel like trying to get back to sleep…" "…and you ended up coming here? To pretend you know how to surf?" Her comment both amused me and pissed me. I know she can't know how well do I surf, but still, her lack of belief in me feels almost like a punch in my self-confidence… "Oh, come on! You could at least have some confidence in my abilities…I mean, I haven't been surfing that often recently, but still!" "Yeah, yeah…" She doesn't seem convinced, as she turns around and makes her way back to the main road. Either she only noticed me when I was already out of the wave, or she is just pretending like I'm not good. I know I'm not in the best state of my abilities, but I still am a skilled surfer…I think… I try to not give it much thought and end up following her to the main road.

The way to school from the beach it's the same direction has my house's, which ends up making us go together along the way, although I'm not sure she wanted that… I try to make conversation with her because the silence between us is kind of killing me. "So, why did you wake up early?" "Why do you care?!" Geez, today is going to be a pain to talk to her. Yesterday we talked loads and we were alright with each other. Right now, she can't stand anything I say for some reason… "I wouldn't I care?" She stops suddenly. I turn to her as she keeps staring at me, expressionless? I don't get why she is so surprised, I wouldn't spend time with her if I didn't care for her. From out of nowhere, my belly starts growling. "Oh, sorry! I didn't eat anything yet, I'm supposed to have breakfast when I get home…" She blushes at my excuses, looking to the side afterwards. "Hmph, whatever…" Then, to my surprise, hers growls too. More than embarrassed, she gets…I can't figure out…afraid? No, why would that be... but one thing is for certain, she didn't eat before going to school.

"Natsuki, didn't you have breakfast before leaving?" To my surprise, she didn't answer, confirming my suspicions. "But you at least are eating something before of classes…right?" Has her answer doesn't come, my worry increases. Why didn't she eat? And no one is convincing me she is on one of those crazy diets girls are always in. My little sister once tried those, even though she is very slim, and I had to really get mad at her for her to stop that. Natsuki looks down to the floor, with kind of a lost expression probably due to not being able to answer my question. That's it, this might be a bad idea because she won't like this at all…

"Follow me…" "W-Why would I follow you?" "Because you need to have breakfast, and I'm not accepting no for an answer…" She stands there, looking at me, lost on what I just said. Somehow I think she might still be thinking about why do I care, but why would her? I spent basically all my time in the club with her, and I would do the same today too! If I was lucky enough to have her wanting that of course… although by the way her mood is today, that sounds extremely unlikely.

She breaks my thoughts by getting closer while looking to the floor. She closes her eyes, blushing slightly as she is about to talk. "A-Are we going or what?" I turn around, not to piss her off or give her a chance of changing her mind. But still, I'm over the moon by having her trust me.

We get to my house around 7:15. I lay down my surfboard next to the main door before getting in. "Please, make yourself comfortable. I'll be right back okay? Just gonna take a shower to clean myself from the sea water…" I run into my room, grabbing my uniform and going straight back down to the bathroom. I don't like leaving Natsuki alone, it's a terrible host move, but if I want to get my breakfast and my lunch done in time, it will have to go this way...

I take a quick shower, getting my uniform worn right after. I can't be asked to totally dry my hair properly, so I quickly get it has dry as I can before leaving the bathroom. I just hope it doesn't get Natsuki wet from me walking around.

As I open the door, Natsuki is wondering around, looking at the rest of the house. She turns to me, locking her eyes in mine with an expectant look. "Hey…" "Hey, sorry I took so long in the shower. Do you like pancakes?" I start walking towards the kitchen while I make her the question. "Yeah, I do!" The happy tone of her answer calms my worries. She seems to enjoy the pancakes idea.

In about fifteen minutes, I get most of the pancakes done. While I get the last two done, I melt some chocolate as I enjoy eating some with chocolate, some with maple syrup. I serve three separate plates, a plate with four pancakes for Natsuki and two plates with two pancakes each for me. Natsuki looks at them, appearing satisfied with what she is seeing. I lay my plates down and the melted chocolate alongside it. Natsuki looks at me with a curious expression. "What's that?" I take the rest of maple syrup out from the cabinet. "It's melted chocolate. I made some more just in case you preferred that to maple syrup." Her eyes light up right after I said that. I lay the maple syrup on my pancakes and grab the chocolate to give Natsuki. "Here you go!" She takes it from me, laying it on her pancakes right away. I take it after she lays it on the table, laying the remaining chocolate on mine after that.

I quickly make work of my pancakes, and while Natsuki eats hers, I make work of my lunch for today. I quickly make a mushroom, bacon and onion pasta with my favourite sauce. I get a lunch box to get my food on and a thought comes to mind… Maybe with the rush, I made a bit more pasta than I should have, but I don't really have time to slip the food properly… anyway. I get all the pasta into the lunch box.

As I turn around, Natsuki already had gone up from her seat and was placing her plate on the sink. She turns to me to me, looking slightly to the side and blushing a bit. "I-It was….a-alright! …don't go brag about it because the ones I make are much better than these…" The way she says that makes me think she was trying to thank me but wasn't able to. I don't mind, I just didn't want her to skip breakfast…

After I got my stuff from my room, I quickly got back down to the main floor. As I go towards Natsuki, since she is near the exit door, I take out her book from my bag. "Here you go, even in better condition than yesterday!" An expression of concern quickly covers her face, has she spastically turns the book backwards and again upfront looking probably for wrinkles the book might have."Come on, I told you I handled manga before! I had extra care with your book…" "Can you blame me? I don't give people my manga every day you know. I just wanted to be sure…" "Fine, no problem…I don't blame you anyway, so don't worry…" She put the book on her bag, as we left my house for school.

I told Natsuki we were stopping by Sayori's house to pick her up and she was fine by it, adding that at least she didn't have to spend any more time alone with me. It kind of hurts hearing her say that, but I guess I kind of got used to it since I spent so much time with her yesterday. I'm glad, cause if I want to be close to Natsuki that would have to happen at some point.

We got to Sayori's place, and as Natsuki stood with her back against the wall opposite to Sayori's house, Sayori herself got out of her house. I smile and greet her… "Good morning, Sayori! I see you got up early today too!" She stands at her house's entrance, looking forward, towards Natsuki. She suddenly closes her eyes, smiles like only she does and greets me back. "Good morning Mew! And good morning Natsuki, you came to pick me up too?" "I-It's not like I wanted to! I found Mew and ended up making his route to school because he was at the beach pretending he knew how to surf!" I quickly turn to Natsuki… "Oh, come on! Give me a break, I'm more average at least!" "Yeah, come on Natsuki! Mew is good at surfing! I already saw him sometimes and he was awesome!" Natsuki slightly blushes and looks to the side. "Hmph, whatever…w-we should get to school, isn't it? No one wants to get detention…" Natsuki starts walking right away. "Hey, Natsuki! Wait!" Sayori says while getting down the stairs at her front door. I wait for her and we both go catch-up with Natsuki after Sayori closes the small gate her house has upfront.

The morning went by quickly. I walk to the cafeteria to get my food warmed up, and as I get to the microwave, I get my lunch box inside it and turn it on. As the classes passed by, I notice my head has been on Natsuki most of the time. I still get everything in class, but somehow when I'm copying stuff from the board, solving a worksheet or something like that she always ends up appearing in my head. Maybe my lunch will keep her off of my head. And right after I turn around, that remote chance of getting Natsuki out of my mind instantly fades away.

There she was, sat at one of the tables, in the middle chair, reading a manga, slightly distanced from the more crowded tables. To my surprise, she was alone. Sayori's lunchtime is on the 2nd lunch period. I don't know where Monika and Yuri might be but either on the same situation has Sayori or maybe lunching somewhere else. Not even people from her class are with her. I wonder why that is the case…

My food is ready. I get it off the microwave and as I start making my way to Natsuki's table, my line of thought drops into this morning. She wasn't going to eat in the morning….and I don't see her plate in the table… is she skipping lunch too? Or did she forget money to eat? I can't really decide which might be the real one. I take another look at her… she looks a bit mad, or frustrated. She wasn't in a really good mood this morning… she is probably having a really bad day by the looks of it. I get a plate and two sets of cutlery from the respective piles, both piles placed at the table beside the microwaves and make my way to her table.

I take my seat on the opposite side of the table, in the chair at her left. She raises her head to face me, getting slightly blushed while I lay my bag on the floor and get my food on the plate. She looks at the food and then takes her eyes off of it. I think my suspicions are once again confirmed. She didn't eat. Again. I place half of my food in the plate and one of the sets of cutlery, which I lay on the side of the plate and slide both in Natsuki's direction, with both ending up near her left hand. I noticed her expression soften a bit right when she saw the food, following a slight blush in her face.

Before she looked at me, I quickly start eating the food from my lunch box. I know she is in a bad mood, so I don't want to push many conversations on her since I know she doesn't really want to talk, she didn't want to in the morning and from the look on her earlier expression, she doesn't want to know. She takes her eyes off of me and starts eating right away. I'm so glad I made a bit more food and didn't slip it right early this morning, because now at least I'll eat a decent amount of food instead of a small portion. And Natsuki ends up eating more than what she probably would have too, which will probably help with me getting her mood a bit better…

We spent the lunchtime there, together, at the table… after eating. I joined her, reading with a manga of my own, but either she didn't notice or she still didn't want to talk. I suspect the latter option might be the right one. When the bell rang, I started getting my book on my bag, while she got her bag and was stuffing it while she walked out.

She stopped for a bit, standing in the same place. It seemed like she was about to turn, but ended up keeping her way to class just after. Maybe she was possibly considering thanking me for lunch? I don't really need it to be perfectly honest. I have realized how she has trouble showing her true feelings. Even just a thanks are quite hard for her to say, but somehow that doesn't bother me… she is not indifferent towards my actions, and that just shows that even though it's a very slim chance, I might still have a chance with her… and I'm still seeing her in the club so…

And that's when it dawned on me. The club! I forgot to write a poem! And I only have one more class before going to the club... I quickly grabbed my bag, as I dashed through the corridors has quick as I could. After taking my seat in class and my stuff out of my bag, I opened one of my notebooks, quickly thinking about a poem for the club, again one to try and get closer to Natsuki…

And as usual, on occasions like this one where I need to do stuff quickly because I forgot about them and I'm running out of time, I don't have ideas… most of the class is going by, quickly, and although I'm not getting much of it, gladly this is the last week before winter break. We're not doing much in class anyway, so one class missed for my club duties is not that big of a deal… unless I'm not able to actually write…

I take a glance at the classroom, in search for a genius idea appearing in my head from out of nowhere, when the sunlight from outside blasts my eyes and blinds me for a moment. I sneeze twice, as I normally do after getting flashed by sunlight, and after managing to get my eyes properly open and able to see again, it hit me… the idea I needed for my poem, an idea that can either go wrong or much better than the last poem…

Light…

The cave was dark, The darkness was endless…

No flash, no spark, All around me was worthless…

No hope was in sight, Until it blessed my view…

There was the Light, Which turned everything anew…

I had a reason to fight, The darkness was not true…

I'll reach that Light, That Light that was you…

The sound of the bell quickly filled the classroom as soon as I finished. The relief filled my body has quickly as the bell's sound filled the room… I got the poem done, and just in time too! But more than that, I think the poem helped me… it's been just two days, but I don't find her just attractive. It's more than that… I'm not sure that I'm in love with her, but I like her! I really, really like her! I've always been very shy with girls, other than Sayori because we've always been best friends. But the fact I can't deny is that Natsuki has been on my head for most of these two days… and this poem shows that this isn't just about liking to be around her. I actually want to try to get close to her, get to know her…maybe date her even. I might be dreaming too much because I don't see that happening, but my life has been much livelier since joining the Literature Club… and much of that is owed to her…

I make my way upstairs, to the Clubroom, swinging the door gently has it slides to the side. I close it behind me right after entering, taking a glance at the Clubroom has I turn around. Sayori and Yuri were together, chatting about something. Meanwhile, Monika seemed a bit busy looking at her computer. Maybe she is organizing stuff for the Winter Festival… she said we would be talking about it maybe yesterday or today, and since we didn't yesterday we're probably doing it… I keep sliding my sight through the room just to be disappointed with the results of my search. Natsuki is nowhere to be seen… "MONIKA!"

The shout resonates throughout the clubroom. Both I and Monika shake for a bit from the surprise, while Sayori and Yuri just seem surprised. There she is… I get close to the closet's entrance, finding Natsuki with her back turned to the closet. "MONIKA!" I close my eyes, taking the shout in Monika's place by accident, has Natsuki turns around while finishing the shout until she notices it's me and not Monika. She gets surprised, and… maybe a bit embarrassed? I can't say, but she blushes a bit avoiding eye contact until Monika gets to us…

"Hey, what happened?" Natsuki looked at Monika with an incredulous expression, like Monika should know or at least should have an idea about why she is pissed. "What happened? You're kidding right?" Natsuki quickly points at the top shelf to her Parfait Girls box, turning right back at me and Monika. "The top shelf? Are you serious?" Monika reacted a bit surprised, which was followed by an apologetic expression on her face "Oh, I'm so sorry Natsuki! The teacher got mad because we took too much space from the closet, so I had to clean it up a bit. I kind of forgot the box was yours while I was cleaning, that's why it is there…"

"Monika, cloud you help us here? We were thinking about something for the festival, but we want your opinion first!" said Yuri from the other side of the room. I looked across the room has both Sayori and Yuri waited for Monika to join them, which she did after asking me to help Natsuki…

"Hmph, as if I needed your help…" Natsuki pushed me aside so she could walk out of the closet. "Huh… Natsuki? I-I can take the box down you know?" "You think I'm short or something?" "I-It's not about if you're short or not, you can hurt yourself when you don't need too…" "I can take care of it myself…" I tried to reason with her, but the sigh coming out of my mouth probably shows how much of a good work I did… Natsuki went near the other girls and took the rolling chair off of Monika's desk. I just hope she knows what she is doing, but the wheels on the rolling chair kind of worries me… "N-Natsuki, that's probably not a really good idea…" "I don't need your help, just scoot…" I want to stop her, but she is in such a bad mood right now that she just won't listen…

I step aside letting her slide the chair inside the room, placing it next to the shelves as she climbs herself on top of the chair, slowly rising herself to keep her balance in check. "A-Ah, alright! There you go…see how easy it was?" She takes the box with her manga form the top shelf. I mean, she did it, but she seems struggling with the weight of the box. Plus, that chair is still not a really good idea in my head, but what do I know…she got the box, so I guess it wasn't so bad.

She starts bending down so she can place the box on the shelf around her normal height, but suddenly the chair starts swivelling around, something that quickly takes my mind right back to not being so sure about the chair…She still manages to stop its movement by catching herself on the shelves. "What are you doing?" "What do you mean?" "At least you could hold the chair steady! You're just watching and not helping!" I'm about to go nuts. For a second, the thought of actually get mad at her, for yelling at me for not helping just like she told me to, crossed my mind… I take a deep breath and get close to her, grabbing the chair and keeping her steady, so Natsuki didn't lose her balance.

I'm about to raise my eyes to check if she is managing to bend down without too many problems, but as I look at her uniform socks right in front of me, I notice a catastrophic mistake on Natsuki's thought about me helping with this task. My eyesight! I'm bent down, but if I look slightly upfront, I'll be around her skirts level. I can't look upwards to her or…I'll see her panties… Natsuki didn't think this through! And while trying to controlling myself to not be mad at her, I was kept me from realizing it too! Now what?! I'll be a dead corpse once she finds out…

The chair starts swivelling again, as I apply more force to keep it in its place. Natsuki wraps her arms around the manga box, as she tries to keep her balance. "A-Ah…Mew! I don't think I can bend that down without falling. Take the box and put it in the place." "B-But if I let the chair go…" "It'll be fine, just grab it! Quick! I can't take it any longer!" Another sigh comes out from my mouth… "A-Alright alright, just let me stand up…" "What do you mean stand…" She looks at me when I'm stood up again. She looks to the floor and blushes the hardest I've ever seen her blush. Oh boy here, it comes… "N-Natsuki, just give me the box!" "Y-You perv! Y-You were trying to look at m-my…" "I-I'm not! N-Natsuki, don't move! Just give me the…" "G-Go away, get out!" The chair starts swivelling around randomly "I'll do it myself!" "Natsuki!" "A-Ah…" And suddenly, the chair slides from her feet…

My reaction was faster than what I was trying to say before the chair moved. Natsuki's scream echoed slowly in my head as I put myself between her and the floor, right on the side where she was falling too. She loses contact with her box of manga, as I catch her mid-air. We hit the floor…hard… She used her arms to try and cover her face, but since she fell on top of me, it only helped increase the impact it left on my chest. Some books fell on top of us, others bellow. As we take the impact, my back and my arms take most of it. The worst was my head, which hit pretty hard on the school's wood floor…

I feel Natsuki shivering has she comes back to her senses, while I'm still trying to take most of the pain in my body, mostly on my head. Natsuki slowly props herself up supporting herself on my shoulders. "Ghk…" Dammit, my right arm hurts so much… "Eh…?" I open my eyes as she opens hers. Didn't she notice it wasn't the floor she was beneath? She locks her eyes on me, blushing hard right after processing what happened and that I was beneath her. "G-Gross!" She hit me on the chest, which certainly didn't benefit the pain I already had…

Natsuki gets up probably has quick as we fell to the floor. "What were you thinking? " "W-What do you mean?" Monika approached us quickly after realizing something happened as I got up from the floor… "Hey, are you okay? What happened?" Natsuki looks furiously at Monika "Are you trying to get all your club members killed or something? See what happens when you place my manga on the top shelf? What was your idea?" "I-I'm so sorry!" "And there is more! Your new club member is a total pervert…" "H-Huh?" Monika looks at me with an intrigued but kinda amused expression in her face. "I-I didn't do anything wrong! I swear!" She covers her mouth with her hand so she doesn't break out laughing. "Don't worry! I imagine it was nothing wrong…" She winks at me, joining both Sayori and Yuri right after. I observe her making her way to them. Somehow she didn't think badly of me, even though the situation kinda pushed her to do that… I see why everyone in the school likes her, she is always helping others and trying to make things better. She has been like that since she realized I was interested in Natsuki, so I shouldn't be surprised…

"O-Oh no…!" I turn my back again, but I only find Natsuki after looking down, to the ground. There she lies, kneeling around the books that were scattered around in the clubroom's floor… I notice something is wrong by the look I get of her expression… I surround her until I notice why she was like that. She holds the 3rd volume of the Parfait Girls in her hands. The book has a large crease almost from top to the bottom of the page. She desperately tries to smooth out the diagonal crease but to no avail… Natsuki's expression turns… what's the right word… neutral? She seems to try to show an emotionless expression, which seems so off since she always speaks out her opinion on everything…

Suddenly, she slams the book shut, slowly downing her head just to throw the book to the floor right after… I wait for her yell, expecting her to really make sure if felt guilty about it since this was my fault. I already felt guilty enough, but she would make sure I would feel it… but, it didn't come out. Instead… she is in front of me, still on the floor… crying…

For once, I actually had no idea what to do… "N-Natsuki…" "N-No! I-I'm not crying!" I shake a bit after taking her yelling. I get down, still not knowing what to do… "I-I'll help to crease it out! You'll see! It'll look brand new!" "N-No! I-I don't care that much…I-I'm just… having a really bad day…" I get myself closer to the floor. Right after I do that Natsuki quickly raises her head forward, facing me while the tears slide. "Do you wanna talk about it?" She closes her eyes and shakes her head saying no. "Alright… look at me…" She slowly raises her head again. I get the 2nd volume from her Parfait Girls manga and place it on top of the closest table. "Now, while I clean this, why don't you wash those tears off? When you get back I'll have all this cleaned up and I'll have here the 2nd book to help cheer you up. What do you think?" Natsuki didn't say anything, just getting up and walking out of the room right after.

I start getting the books together, carefully placing the books in the proper order. I take the last book from the floor, the 3rd volume, and stare at it as I get up. This was mainly my fault for not making sure she understood how bad that idea was. I thought it would be bad if I pissed her off, but maybe she wouldn't be like this if it wasn't for me not properly warning her…

I place the box properly on the shelf Natsuki wanted. Maybe I can still solve this… I place the 3rd volume back in its place in the box, while Natsuki arrives right after. She looks at me, but the sadness in her face is palpable… she gets the 2nd volume I placed aside from the table…

"T-Thanks…" "Don't worry, it's nothing… I'm ready when you are..." She takes a slight blush. "Good! Even if you were not, I would make you anyway… you're taking responsibility for what you said earlier! The thing about cheering me up…" For a second I thought she was mad and blaming me for all this, I wouldn't blame her fully, because I sure had my share of the blame in this… I really should find a way to compensate her…

We both sat on the same spot from yesterday, beside the window right outside the closet. Thank god she likes the manga so much because Natsuki's mood quickly improves. She points out stuff to me while laughing throughout some bits of the story. I laugh alongside her since the manga is very entertaining. She clearly has read the manga multiple times, since she makes me notice some stuff in the background that might become important later and that some jokes follow from something that happened previously or that some end up having a follow up later.

Her knowledge of the manga is impressive, but not surprising since I already had an idea that this was indeed her favourite manga. But the manga really surprised me in itself. The story, the character development, and the plot that seems to be taking shape…it shows that although it didn't seem that good, it's probably a very good manga actually. She has very good taste, which concerns me a bit about my chances with her and makes me have second thoughts about if admitting I like her is a good idea… well, I can't do much about it now so…

Monika suddenly calls everyone so we can start the poem sharing, which takes me off of my thoughts. Natsuki gets up, much livelier than when we sat on the floor. That makes me relieved… somehow I actually managed to calm her down… "Hey, can I hold onto it so I can finish at home?" "Yep, you even sound happier to take it than yesterday! You're getting into it aren't you?" She looks at me with kind of a smug expression. She is clearly proud of herself for getting me to like her manga. It makes me genuinely happy to see her properly smiling for the first time today. "Alright, alright. You were right…" I raise my hands in defeat, which just makes Natsuki all the more proud as she goes to her bag to get her poem. I slide her book into my bag as I take my poem off as well.

As I turn around, Natsuki is already behind me, with her poem in hand. W-Well, I guess sooner or later she will read it, so she better know it when she is in a good mood. As I'm about to get enough guts to give her my poem, she surprises me by giving me hers. "You're checking my poem first!" "You want me to check yours first? Why?" She blushes slightly "…cause I want to get you back." "For what?" "For your poem impressing me last time!" I laugh slightly before answering her. "You're trying to impress me?" "I-I mean, it's just so Yuri isn't the one impressing you more, give me a break…and don't you laugh at me!" "Ahah, sorry, sorry! But, if that's the case, what's the matter with me trying to impress you?" "I'll tell you! You-"

Suddenly she stopped herself from answering. She then holds a thought, like she was processing what she had just heard, and blushes hard right before looking back at me. "Y-Y-You..." She holds her voice, trying to say it properly right after. "You're trying to… impress me?" I try to sound relaxed while talking, but I bet it shows a bit I'm nervous now. "I-Is it that bad of me trying to impress you?" "Y-You…j-just read it!" She almost shoves her poem in my hands. Her embarrassment ended up being too much for her to handle, so she probably tried to make me read so maybe she would shut me up with her poem. Smart thinking, even though I really enjoyed making her feel flustered and telling her I wanted to impress her. I guess it won't be the only thing she will learn from me today…

I quickly shut the thought has I feel myself heating up again, so I instantly get my eyes on Natsuki's poem…

Hope

The hope vanished, it was no more...

The light in my room, that was here before...

My bedroom was dark, I felt the cold.

Had no reason to leave, it kept me hold.

Until it came I couldn't dare to dream.

The sudden warm I felt from that beam.

I raised my head from around my knees.

As the slight clarity brought down the freeze.

It was coming back, I don't know how.

But it was too late to turn back now.

Will it keep me warm, or will it burn once more?

Only time will tell, but I wait for the before…

Natsuki's poem was surprising to me. It was longer than the previous one, but what really caught my attention was that although the poem's message was very straightforward, it seemed like there was a bit more than meets the eye on this one. Natsuki really prefers poems with clear messages, she showed that very clearly yesterday while arguing with Yuri. But something was off… It was a bit… sad, depressing in a certain way… but a bit hopeful. I wonder if she just wrote it with no proper reason or if it was written for someone to help her or about someone helping her. Just like yesterday's poem, she kind off broke the sense of the sentence so she would make reference to her feelings on the beginning of the poem. It makes me want to help her, even though I don't really know if she actually needs it or if it was just for the poem.

I get my thought process interrupted by Natsuki. I imagine I might have been here thinking about the poem for a while now… "Hey! Are you done or not?" "S-Sorry, I was just… thinking about the poem…" I try to sound normal, not trying to show much worry about how she might be feeling. The poem really caught me. "So? Not bad, right?" "It's really not, I just took a bit of time reading it since it was longer than your previous one." "Y-Yesterday's was way too short! Did you think that was the best I could do?" She seems a bit embarrassed, but that was far from the truth. "No, not at all! I liked yesterday's, and I really liked this one as well!" She blushes and tries avoiding eye contact by looking to the side. "S-See? I told you would be surprised!" "It made me really think about it…" "W-why? It very straightforward, there is not really much I can explain about it…" "N-No, it's not about the message. I-It's more about…" I can't really find a way to explain myself properly. I guess I just have to ask… "N-Natsuki, what drove you to write this poem?" She quickly locks her eyes on me right after I'm done asking. At first, I take the thought she could be a little bit mad at me for asking, but after a few seconds, it looks like she is judging me. I-I mean, it's not that big of a deal showing I care for her…isn't it?

She looks slightly to the side, facing the floor, as she raises her hand, to my surprise. Why is that for? "A-Are you giving me your poem or what?" Wait, what? She completely ignored my question. Or didn't she hear me? I look at her again, taking my eyes off of her hand, and end up finding the answer. She is avoiding my question. She doesn't seem comfortable enough to talk about it, at least not with me. She also spent most of the day pissed about something, so I think I better not insist much with this since she clearly doesn't want me to. W-Well… t-this is it then… can't turn back now!...

I raise my hand, trying to feel as calm and collected as possible. I fail miserably. Natsuki doesn't seem to notice, since she snatches my poem off of my hand, probably relieved by the fact we aren't talking about her poem anymore. She takes her time, as she did with yesterday's poem. I guess she will need a second read since most of the poem you will not understand until the final verse. She reads it, and reads it, and then… a big blush pops on Natsuki's face. She slides her eyes again through the poem, giving it a second or third read. It clearly shows. She is not missing the point like on the previous one. She got it, and now she knows. It took me a while too, but the poem helped me see. It didn't matter only meeting her two days before. It was clear to me after writing my poem. And yeah, Monika was right yesterday... I was, in fact…in love with Natsuki…