Castiel feels cold for a moment, missing the heat of Dean's body. He feels lost for a moment, the thoughts in his head twirling. He knows, he's going to hell for this, straight to hell, but a small part of him doesn't care. He wants this. He wants so much more. He wants more kisses and touches and he wants naked skin against his' and he wants bliss and sweat and happiness. With Meg, there is no happiness, just obligation and routine and fear. Yes, he has to admit, he's afraid of his wife. Once he intended to leave her, he wanted to go away with Grace and start a new life, but she threated to take away his daughter from him, to destroy his reputation and his life, for she is a badass lawyer with insight knowledge of laws and with connections and he is nothing and he has nothing. So he stayed.
Ever since Crowley's party all his thoughts are occupied by Dean. Every waking moment, he thinks about him. Fantasizes of him, dreams of him. And now he has him. If only for a short moment, Castiel doesn't care. He's willing to take everything, Dean wants to give him. They have this night. At least, they have this night. A night to remember and Castiel wants to make it count.
When they arrived at "The Roadhouse" and Castiel felt Dean's hand at the small of his back, he wanted to melt into this touch. He never realized, how touch-starved he is. How much he craves touches. Touches to give pleasure, not pain.
And that kiss...that kiss was pretty much awesome.
He never kissed a man before, never wished to do so. But once he started, he couldn't get enough of it. He wanted to relish the taste of Dean, the feeling of his lips against his, the feeling of Dean's stubble against his cheek. It was so different from kissing a woman. Different, but good. Dean is strong and his chest is flat and hard and beautiful. There are no soft curves. So different. Castiel was aware, that Dean was careful, he didn't put marks on Castiel's skin, but he himself wasn't so reserved, he sucked and bit and nibbled at Dean's lips, he followed the strong line of Dean's jaws with his lips, he licked the column of Dean's throat, he tasted Dean's skin and felt Dean's erratic pulse with his mouth.
And his own heartbeat matched Dean's, beat by beat.
And now Dean looks up at him through his long lashes, his eyes hooded with lust and Castiel thinks about hell and purgatory and Meg and Dean's fingers open his belt, the button of his pants and his fly, those clever fingers freeing his leaking cock from his boxers, they start to stroke him and Castiel stands stock-still, frozen in time, it's such a long time he felt a mouth on his dick and he can't stop the wanton sound falling from his lips, when he feels Dean's hot tongue, licking a flat stripe along the underside of his cock from the base to the head.
He can't think, he can't breath, he can only feel.
The talented tongue swirls around his swollen head, once, twice, licking up the beads of precome, pooling at the slit. And then Dean takes him in. His head bobs up and down, taking him in deep and deeper.
And Castiel clenches his hands into fists.
Desperately he wants to touch Dean, gripping his hair, guide him, hold him. But he doesn't dare. He has no idea, how to behave at a sexual encounter with a man. He knows nothing about one-night-stands. He's a married man and he wants this, he wants this so desperately. But he doesn't know, how to ask for it, for any of it.
Dean sucks and Castiel can feel the ripples on top of Dean's hot and wet mouth.
His nails are digging into his palms.
Dean hollows in his cheeks and Castiels knees buckle. Deans hands are gripping his ass, to keep him upright and to pull him even closer.
He takes him deeper and now Castiel feels the back of Dean's throat, constricting around him as Dean swallows and his hips thrust forwards and a broken choke escapes his own throat and his cum floods Dean's mouth and Dean swallows it all.
Castiel's whimpers at the sight of Dean, so beautiful, his lips red and swollen and slick of spit and cum.
Carefully Dean tucks him back into his pants, closes the fly, the button and the belt, then he rests his face against Castiels crotch. He breathes in deep as to relish the smell of Castiel's arousal. He closes his eyes and knows, it will never again be like this, with nobody else. He knows, he had to let go. Castiel isn't his and he never can be. He belongs to his family, not to Dean. No matter how much Dean wants it. This is their moment. He has to tuck away this memory deep inside his heart.
His eyes are burning from unshed tears.
It's madness...there is this man, almost a stranger, but he feels such a deep connection to him.
In this moment, there is a tender touch at his cheek. Castiel's slender fingers are stroking him gently.
Castiel smiles at him and it is almost blending. His blue eyes shine bright.
"Take me home with you, Dean", he whispers. "Please."
Dean straightens up.
"Are you sure?" he asks breathless.
Castiel nods wordlessly and leans in to kiss Dean again. He groans at the taste of himself on Dean's tongue. Oh, sure he's going to hell for that.
"Oh, Cas", Dean moans against Castiel's lips and he can feel Dean's hard-on against his tigh. And that is such a big turn-on, his spent dick twitches interested.