CHAPTER THREE: Ghosts
"If dreams are like movies, then memories are films about ghosts. – Adam Duritz"
JJ woke suddenly; her heart racing and stomach churning, as Angelica came in to check on her. She was sitting up in bed, drenched in sweat as the last few minutes of her dream, nightmare, came to her.
She saw herself in a graveyard, staring at the tombstones of her fallen friends, their penetrating gazes blaming her, enticing her to end her own, unworthy life. She could feel the heat of the explosion on her face, as she had all those days ago, and hear the explosion as it occurred. Only this time, Spencer was with Jill, Mark, Andrew, Sarah, Abraham and Monica, and she was the one left behind.
"Are you alright Ms. Jareau?" Angelica asked, again slightly mispronouncing her name. JJ coughed. When her head rose, Angelica handed her a cardboard cup of water, and a pill she said was for nausea. JJ took both gratefully, answering her with a "yes, thank you. It was just a nightmare."
"It sounded like more than a nightmare," her nurse said silently. "Do you want to talk about it?"
JJ shook her head, a sudden rage filling her when she snapped out "no."
Angelica nodded, a sudden understanding filling her eyes. "Alright, I won't push you; but promise you'll call me if you need anything, all right? Should I be expecting your young doctor in the morning?"
She nodded a small smile on her face. She didn't bother correcting the implication in the young nurses' voice, instead choosing to embrace it.
"Well," Angelica said, "I'd rather not give you a sleep aid, if we can at all help it. Do you think you'll have a problem getting back to sleep?"
JJ shook her head, already feeling the exhaustion retaking her, as she fought to keep her eyes open. Angelica smiled exited the room.
The next time she awoke, it was too a smiling Doctor Reid looking down at her, a recognizable black duffle bag at his side.
"Good morning JJ," he said the second he noticed her eyes open. She gripped his hand, which was holding hers, and said, "Good morning, Spence. Thank you."
He smiled at her, and said, "Doctor Bonneville was by earlier, and said that your discharge papers are at the front desk. I tried to explain to him that I was just a colleague, but he seemed to be in a hurry, so I'll apologize on his behalf for breaking your confidentiality. Angelica also was by earlier, and asked me to tell you that she hopes she sees you under better circumstances."
JJ nodded and gestured for her ready bag, which Spence handed to her. "I had Garcia pack you a few things; I didn't feel it was appropriate to go through your undergarments. She assures me that the clothes are to your liking, and not hers."
JJ thanked him; something she seemed to be doing a lot of lately, took the bag and walked into the adjoining bathroom. After a scalding shower, which was made possible by the bar of soap and shampoo she kept in her ready bag, she dressed. Garcia, she admitted, had a great eye for detail. She wore a beige skirt and aquamarine top, one of her favorite combinations, she noticed happily. When she exited the bathroom, she felt loads better than she had before.
Spencer was sitting in the bedside chair he'd made his over the last couple of days, and stood upon her exiting the bathroom. She blushed prettily and said, "Shall we Doctor Reid?"
He smiled again. She noticed, to her amusement, that he hadn't blushed as much over the last couple of days, apparently coming to accept that she was a part of his life as he was a part of hers. He opened the door, and gestured for her to go through. She smiled at him again, and left the room, standing to the side waiting as he exited beside her.
The nurse's desk was visible from the room, slightly down the hall and to the left. When she approached, she noticed the group of nurses was giving her companion wanton looks, which she was amused to note he either ignored or missed completely. The doctor on duty stood at their approach and said, "Agent Jareau?"
The nurses gave her a confused look, and she smiled realizing that she'd never identified herself as an FBI agent.
"Yes, I'm here to sign my discharge papers."
The doctor nodded and said, "You'll need to make sure you eat properly, your body is just coming into balance and the slightest deviation could set you back. You'll want high-protein meals for the next couple of days, and then you should be able to move back to your regular diet."
She nodded, and signed the papers in front of her. The paperwork signed, she was officially released.
Spencer helped her too the elevators, her legs like jelly after days of hibernation. She felt her heart racing, her palms becoming sweaty and her breathing shallow, and wondered briefly if Spencer could feel the effect he was having on her from the slightest touch.
They made it to the elevator, and Spencer pressed the "G," and she felt the elevator kicking to life. A few seconds later, and it came to a stop, and Spencer led her out, into a large, sun-filled parking lot.
JJ took a deep breath, enjoying actual air for the first time in days. She looked around, looking for Spencer's beat-up four-door Honda Accord.
"Not to nag, but where's your car?"
He smiled and led her too the far-end of the parking lot, where she noticed, not his Honda, but her Ford Thunderbird. She smiled.
"I hope you don't mind, I got the keys from Morgan yesterday afternoon. I thought it would be a good surprise for you. Do you feel up to driving?"
She wanted to say "yes," for the simple fact that it was her car, but a sudden dizzy spell struck her. "No," she sadly said.
He didn't respond. Spencer simply led her to the passenger side, opened her door and helped her to sit down into her seat. She sighed, taking in the familiar scent of her air freshener hanging above the dashboard. "Thank you, Spence," she said softly. "Do you have my phone?"
He smiled and said, "It's in your glove compartment."
She nodded and opened said aperture, grabbed her phone and said, "Just give me a few minutes to make this call, it's hard to hear the phone over the engine."
He nodded again.
"Hello," the sound of Jessica Jareau's voice came over her phone. She smiled instinctively; glad to hear her mom's voice after the past few days she's had.
"Hey mom," she said, "I was just released. We're about to leave the parking lot now."
"Jennifer," her mom vibrantly said, "I was so worried about you. Your young man didn't leave me much information, just that you'd passed out at work, and were in the hospital. What happened?"
She blushed, hoping that Spencer hadn't heard her mom's innocent comment, thoughshe saw the slight blush on his face.
"I asked him to just give you the information we knew of. It wasn't anything serious,just lack of sleep, and appetite, combined with running myself ragged."
Her mom's silence spoke volumes.
"How long until you arrive?" her mom asked.
"I can't drive, mom, for at least a couple of days."
"I didn't ask how you were getting here, young lady. Have that young man of yours bring you, tell him to pack for at least a week, but I expect you here so I can take care of you."
She winced, recognizing the tone of her mom's voice, and looked at Spence, who was studiously ignoring the conversation, instead filling out one of the crossword puzzles she had in a book above the steering wheel.
"Hold on, I'll see if he has any plans," JJ said. She turned to him, and noticed that he'd placed the book face down and turned to give her his undivided attention.
"Mom wants to know if you'll drive me there, you're invited to stay."
She watched him studying her, trying to determine whether she would be against it or not, and gave a simple nod. She was relieved, not only would mom not overreact, but also maybe she could pull her genius best friend out of his slump.
"We'll be there in a few hours, mom. We need to go to our apartments and pack."
"You're not living together," her mom, questioned, and she turned giving Spencer a look as he choked on spittle.
"No, he's my best friend, but we're not dating."
She saw him smile, and couldn't help the elated feeling that overcame her.
"Alright dear, I'll tell your dad that you're incoming, and we'll have your room and the guest room made up for your young man."
"Alright mom," she said, "I'll see you soon, bye."
With that, she closed the phone and turned to him.
"Sorry Spence," she said apologizing, "I hope this isn't cutting into your plans."
"Not at all," he said immediately, "I'm not heading home myself until next week; I wanted to make sure you were settled in before I left. If…" he said looking at her, "If you'd like to join me, JJ, you'd be more than welcome."
She nodded, almost immediately, wondering where the young genius called home. The engine sounded a second later, the purr sending a thrill down her spine, as her friend drove them first to his apartment, where he gathered a large duffle bag of clothes, and was back within minutes, then too hers.
She wasn't surprised to know that he knew directions to her house; he knew where all of the team lived, how to get there from both directions and where they kept their extra keys, in case he ever needed to stay the night.
She turned too him and said, "I'll need a bit longer to get ready, if you'd like to come in."
He nodded.
When they entered, JJ was surprised to see that her house was a lot cleaner than when she left it. She turned to him, but saw him raise his hands in a surrendering manner.
"Garcia," she asked. He nodded.
"I'll have to thank her," JJ commented absentmindedly. She quickly packed her ready bag, grabbed her cell phone and keys off the counter and made sure her alarm was active before she turned towards the door.
"Shall we, Spence?" she asked him absently, her hand rubbing his arm as she smiled. She felt his arm twitch in a way that showed her that he wasn't used to physical touch, and made sure to remember that fact. Her friend nodded and said, "Do you want to try driving?"
"No," she said, "I'll try it later, but right now I'm sure I'd just be a hazard to other drivers."
Spencer nodded and said, "If you're sure, JJ."
"I am," she assured him. "And thank you Spence. I really appreciate you spending all of this time with me."
"It's no trouble at all, JJ," he assured her after a few seconds of contemplation. "I've enjoyed the past couple of days more than I have most of the last three years, too be honest. I really feel like we've become really good friends, and I hope that this trend continues on into the future."
JJ smiled at him, and said, "I do too, Spence."
They headed north out of Quantico, beginning the two weeklong trips that would go farther to ensure their lasting friendship than anything could ever hope to approach.
"If a man harbors any sort of fear, it percolates through his thinking, damages his personality, makes him landlord to a ghost. – Lloyd C. Douglas"