Under the Mask

by Lillie1512

After Lillian gets out of the hospital, she gets a late start to her first year of medical school at Marineford University in Sabaody. Everyone around her seem to have already made friends and she is left alone. The first person she meets is Trafalgar Law. Lilly is taken aback my his rudeness. Unknown to her Law;s life is being controlled my illegal trading in the black market.

11. Beam Me Up

*Lillian POV*

-5 days after that hot mess-

So, I told Ace everything.

It was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be, well for me not the boys.

I almost had to tie Ace to a chair so he would stop lunging toward Law trying to murder him whenever I mentioned one of the many secrets I kept from him.

Had to clobber Law along the side the head a few times also. That asshole kept making snarky comments to egg Ace on, seeming just to get pure enjoyment from riling Ace up.

I wish they would have just whipped out a ruler and measured their manhood and got it over.

After everything ended, everyone parted ways with hast.

I begged Ace not to tell White Beard until we talked to Luffy and his crew. He agreed half-heartedly. His head looked so full and conflicted; Ace couldn't stop pacing and running his hands through his black locks. The freckled boy even refused to make eye contact with me after.

Silently I prayed to myself that I didn't ruin the one relationship with the only person that was honest with me.

I went home too, even though there were alarms in my head telling me not to. I just really needed space with everything to try process all of the hot mess and the way Law looked at me I knew there was more secrets he needed to tell me, but my mental space was already so filled thanks to Rosi.

The one thing that Ace and Law could agree on is that I shouldn't be left alone.

Ace made a few phone calls and got police watch on my apartment 24/7.

The whole week blurred by. Law and I only spoke when he tutored me and it was very professional conversation. He knew that we both needed more time.

The most communication beside that I had all week was a few texts from Ace and Law making sure I wasn't dead and the group message for planning the meeting tonight with Luffy's and Law's crews along with Ace.

As of now, I am lying on my bed with a white Panic at the Disco concert t-shirt pulled up exposing my now bandage and stitch free stomach.

I trace my finger along the thick rubbery scar until I am over my belly button. There was still a bit of a scab over the incision, but it had gotten to the point where it didn't even bleed anymore; if it was irritated, the tender pink skin would just burn.

My organs were already stolen. I was a part of the malicious scheme before I even moved to this town. My life was destined to be twisted.

These quiet 5 days have left me alone with all these horribly dark thoughts and to focus on my withdrawal. The symptoms have been shoved to the back burning with all the chaos and the drugging, that as soon as I could finally relax and breathe the withdrawal hit me like a motherfucking bus.

My week consisted of panic attacks, vomiting, days without sleep, hallucinations, and so so many sweat filled sheets.

This was the first day that I felt like I could maintain myself; more of a super bad flu with a lot of anxiety behind it.

I didn't know how to deal with this week or even just this day.

What was I going to do about Doflamingo, Law, the police force, the Grand Line and every other curve ball life was throwing at me?

I know at the beginning of school I did say I wanted friends but did it really have to be the I am part of the black market organ business and underground fight club type?

I was way way wayyyyyyyyyy in over my head.

Maybe Law was right, I was just a careless and hopeful fool thinking that I could help. Maybe I felt like I needed to help everyone because I couldn't save my parents?

With everything going on I just didn't know how to feel anymore or what to do anymore. There was just this anxious, thorny knot in my stomach filled with impending doom

I roll over to my side, reach to the side table, and open my phone taking note that it was November 6th and scroll through photos with a tight feeling in my chest.

I need my mom.

I stop on a picture of my mom and I having a night out at one of those wine and painting deals. It was a selfie of the two of us in paint filled aprons and paint on our cheeks and noses from a paint war we had.

A sorrowful smile pulls at my lips and my eyes start to tear up.

We looked exactly alike: same widow's peak, green eyes, heart shaped face, and huge smile.

She would be able to tell me what to do. If not, she would be able to tell me something that would inspire me.

She was always me muse.

Drying my eyes with my blanket I cast my gaze to the top of my screen I noticed we were supposed to meet up in an hour.

Minus well head out now. Someone is bound to be there.

I needed a distraction today especially.

I do a little jump out of bed to pull up my jeans to the right place on my hips.

I tap a quick message to Ace, Luffy, and Law. A new paranoid habit I had started but with a lunatic after you, it didn't seem like a bad idea.

I slip on a pair of black high top converse and my leather jacket; pulling my hair out from underneath it as I walk out the door.

Shooting a quick wave to the undercover cop car, I make my way to The Thousand Sunny.

I stare up at the clear blue sky and watch big, fluffy clouds float by.

Mama! Papa! The kindergarten squealed and she ran out into the yard. She tumbles over into the grass with a giggle. The cool grass tickling her arms and legs felt good on the hot Alabasta day. Her parents flank her, chuckling at their beautiful treasure. The brunette jabbed a small finger up into the sky, "That one looks like a vertebra and that one looks like kidney and that one just looks like a pony!" The girl's father turns his head and kisses her forehead softly, "We have our own little doctor don't we Elizabeth!" The mom reaches over and strokes the sandy blonde man's hair with an easy smile, "She must have gotten into my old text books." The dad brushes his lips against the mom's knuckles, "I am so proud of our little Lilypad." He turns to his daughter and moves hair out of her face with a loving touch, "You hear that pumpkin? Mommy and I are gonna do everything so you can be an amazing doctor." The little girl grins so hard her eyes squint shut, "When I become doctor, I am going to take care of mommy and daddy forever!"

I let the nostalgia wash over me. They certainly did everything to get me here didn't they?

I missed my mom. My dad too, well the earliest memories.

I arrive to the front of The Thousand Sunny and pull the door discovering it was locked so I went to the side door where I snuck in for my performance.

It swung open easy and I step into a dimly lit hall.

"Hello?" I call out but no one replied. Stepping into the space I felt the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

Using my phone, I find the electrical box and flip on the lights. I walk out to the freshly lit stage, "Hellllllllllllooooooooooo?"

Looks like I am by myself. Wonder if someone forgot to lock the door.

"Well I guess I will take advantage of this opportunity." I decide as I plug in the fairy lights, making the stage sparkle.

Opening my phone, I scroll to a picture of my mom with a wide laugh on her face with confetti raining down on her. It was one of those one in a million photos that was taken on a phone that looked like it could have been taking professionally. She looked so young; her skin was flawless, hair in perfect loose curls, and teeth whiter than white.

I prop the picture up on the piano and grab one of the acoustic guitars left on stage which I assumed belonged to Brook.

Adjusting the microphone stand I swallow the lump in my throat, "If you can hear me mom this one is for you. I really need to talk to you right now and this is the only way I know how."

I run my fingers along the strings to make sure they were in tune. I clear my throat to prevent the lump in my throat from creeping back and to stop the tears.

"Every birthday since I could sing, I always sang for you. You were always so supportive when I wanted to pursue singing even though it reminded you of dad. So even though you are not here, I am going to keep the tradition alive, even if that makes me a crazy girl to singing to my phone. With all of the things I have learned these past few weeks I wanted to say that I really appreciate what you did so I could get this far. I cannot even fathom what you went through with dad. I don't know how else to say that you are the world to me, I miss you, and that I love you. So here is Beam Me up by P!nk" I strum the first cord the world starts to fade, "Happy Birthday Mom."

~~There's a whole 'nother conversation going on
In a parallel universe.
Where nothing breaks and nothing hurts.
There's a waltz playin' frozen in time
Blades of grass on tiny bare feet
I look at you and you're lookin' at me.

Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.

I never really believed in a God with everything thing I have been through, but music made me feel spiritual. I felt like I could convey all of my emotions in a song. I could tell anyone how I felt, whether they were here or not. It made me feel connected to the whole world around me.

Saw a blackbird soarin' in the sky,
Barely a breath I caught one last sight
Tell me that was you sayin' goodbye,
There are times I feel the shiver and cold,
It only happens when I'm on my own,
That's how you tell me I'm not alone

Could you beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think a minute's enough,
Just beam me up.

Today music helped me remember my mom and everything good about her. It helped me come to terms that she was gone, but also reminded me that one day I knew I would see her again. One day I would be reunited with my mom and my real dad.

In my head I see your baby blues
I hear your voice and I, I break in two and now there's
One of me, with you

So when I need you can I send you a sign
I'll burn a candle and turn off the lights
I'll pick a star and watch you shine

Just beam me up,
Give me a minute, I don't know what I'd say in it
I'd probably just stare, happy just to be there, holding your face
Beam me up,
Let me be lighter, I'm tired of being a fighter,
I think, a minute's enough,
Beam me up
Beam me up
Beam me up
Could you beam me up.~~

A euphoria and a relief washed over my body after belted out the last note. I stood in silence and listened to the final cord reverberate through the room.

Silent tears rolled down my cheeks with all the happy memories of my mom that filled my head when I sang. I let out a little chuckle as I smiled and wiped the tears from my face. She could hear me. The way my heart glowed like the sun and the comforting warmth that wrapped around me like a beloved quilt, I knew she was here.

I rest the guitar back down onto its stand and grab my phone. I rest the imagine against my forehead with a small, loving smile, "I love you mom."

Clap. Clap. Clap.

The mood of the bar turned on a dime as the slow clap behind me grew closer. My body goes rigid and ice runs through my veins.

"Now that might be the most soulful performance I have ever been privileged to watch my dear Lillian."

That voice made all the hair on my body bristle like a startled cat. I follow my instincts and jump off the stage and turn to face Doflamingo, "How did you know I was here?"

I could feel my heart thump hard and fast against my rib cage.

Stay cool. Be calm. Don't give him the upper hand.

I pull up my messenger app on my phone and try to type out a text.

He wasn't wearing his normal pink coat, just a black button up, light pink trousers, and his signature glasses, "Who do you think left the door open?" He smiles his Cheshire cat smile jumping off the stage. The man takes three large steps to catch up to me and rips the phone from my hand effortlessly than he tossed it over his shoulder.

He circles me like the predator going for the kill strike. I stood frozen, my muscle coiled and ready to flee.

In that moment I knew what it felt like to be hunted.

I could feel the heat of his chest as he rested his upper arms on my shoulders and leaned part of his crippling weight against me.

Hot breath tickled my ear, "You know," I watch his large, tanned hands gesture in front of me, "I know what Law, Luffy, Ace and you are doing. All meeting up in this super obvious spot to birth a plan that will cause my downfall."

Had he always been so fucking tall?

I do my best to be brave, "We are not scared of you." My body betrays my and trembles under his demanding presence.

One at a time he removes his arms and slowly wrapping his arms around me waist making sure to slowly drag his hands against my body to touch skin as he could.

Breathe. He needs you. He wouldn't do anything to you.

He rests one of his hand on my stomach covering half my abdomen. I could feel the heat through my shirt, "You could just be smart and join me gorgeous." Dolflamingo's voice was smooth like molasses.

He rubs and the hem of my shirt between two fingers. I feel the muscles of his cheek pull into a grin against mine as he slithers his hand up under my shirt.

Panic signals alarm in my head all rational thoughts fleeing it. I make a futile attempt to escape the bastard huge arms. Doflamingo only pulls my closer to lock me against his firm chest.

A low chuckle vibrates my ear sending a shiver down my spine, "I could give you anything in the world my dear! Money. A dream career. Chances to perform anywhere in the world." His finger traces my scar upwards and then caresses the bottom wire of my bra causing me to let out a pathetic helpless whimper, "Sex." His voice was breathy and seductive as his travels back down my scar, "You know I always get what I want. Why don't you just make easy and give in to me." I thrash again when I feel his long tongue trace the shell of my ear and bite my ear lobe.

The huge man continues to trail his finger down my scar until he reaches the button of my jeans.

This can't be happening. This can't be real. Hadn't enough bad things happened to me already?

Huge helpless tears stream down my face. "Let me go. Please! You have to let me go!" I blubber as I jerk forward again trying to create space to shrink down and slip out of Doflamingo's iron grip.

It was no use. I couldn't piece together one coherent thought.

I could tell he was enjoying this by how the blonde's breath quickened in my ear, "You know I love it when a girl plays hard to get. It makes the capture even more pleasurable."

Tanned fingers undo the top button my jeans.

My brain goes overdrive and I start thrashing around like a caged animal throwing hot desperate tears everywhere, "no! no! no! no! No! NO!"

*Law POV*

As soon as I got the message from Lily, I got all my crew together and sped down the road in Bepo's Jeep to the Sunny.

Something was wrong I could feel it in my bones.

I shouldn't have left her side. I should have known better. The cops are useless.

Before Bepo comes to a full stop, I jump out of the moving car.

When I get to the front door, I see Ace running toward me.

He felt it too.

Ace tosses the keys toward me so I could unlock the front door.

The first thing I see when I step in was a pink feathered coat hidden behind a booth.

No. No no no no.

Then I saw them.

Doflamingo gave me a shark toothed grin, "Law darling your right on time. Would you like to watch or join us?" A huge alpha dog presence rolled off him in massive waves.

Doflamingo let go Lily's jean zipper, "Lily and I were just talking about her performing at the gala in a few weeks to celebrate our rise in profits. Isn't that right sweetheart?" He moves her hair out of her face revealing the same feral eyes as a trapped rabbit.

Lily wasn't even holding up her own weight anymore. She looked like a limp ragdoll in his hands.

The petite girl managed to nod between sobs begging for freedom.

"What the fuck is going on in here?!" Ace was enraged but I put a hand out barring him from running onto the scene.

"You'll make it worse. Trust me on this." I whispered viciously quickly working out the best way to act to cause minimal damage.

Ace met my eyes and nodded reluctantly biting his bottom lip hard.

Doflamingo pinched Lily's chin and forced a kiss on her lips and then let her fall onto the ground in a heap like discarded trash, "Lily and I were just getting more acquainted Mr. Portgas."

Towering over us he slips on his feathery coat without a care in the world.

Ace barks at him practically foaming at the mouth, "I can arrest you for molestation you know."

I step between the fiery ravenette and Doflamingo, "You know as well as I do Ace, there is no point of even trying." I turn my face up to his red tinted shades glaring at unknown eyes beneath, "He is a snake and a slippery one at that."

"What a good dog you are Law dearest!" He reaches out and scratches under my chin.

I jerk away repulsed.

The vile man throws his head back letting go of a villainous laugh as he leaves.

Ace wastes no time and run to Lily's aid.

He falls to his knees, cautiously reaching for her, "Are you okay? Did he hurt you? Did he touch you?" I swallowed hard hoping I'd never hear someone ask her that question.

The brunette clung onto the white shirt Ace wore beneath his read hoodie and gasped for each breathe as if she had been holding her breath this whole time.

Ace, from his inevitable experience, knew not to touch the scarred girl without her permission after such a trauma.

As I walk toward her, I snatch a napkin holder and extend it toward her.

She curls up a tiny fist and slams the napkin holder right out of my hand sending it crashing into a nearby table with a force I didn't think she could muster in such a state.

"Most people say thank you when I decide to be nice for once." I retort in a placid tone.

My eyes are met with forest green ones with a fire burning furiously in them, "I am sick and tired of being this weak! I should be able to stop things like that from happening!"

She is masking her fear with anger. So, let's make her angry.

I fold my tattooed arms across the chest of my dark purple sweater and look down my nose at her, "If you would have listened to me when I said Doflamingo would take advantage of you and not had got to cocky maybe . . ."

"What the actually fuck man," Ace snarls in disbelief that I was rubbing salt into this particular wound.

Ace tried to stand but Lily pulls him down by his t-shirt.

There was a thick silence as the girl stands and buttons her jeans.

Her converse squeak against the tile floor as she approaches me with justified murder in her eyes.

She jabs a small finger violently into my chest, "Maybe you should have been more specific when you said he would take advantage of me," she shoved me so hard that I had to stagger back a step, "Maybe you should have hired better cops to take care of me!" She takes all her anger out it one last shove. I stagger back a couple more steps letting the traumatized girl release her stress on me, "MAYBE YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE LEFT ME ALONE!"

She was right I shouldn't have, but this was a two way street.

I snatch her thin wrists to catch her attention, "This is a two way street. You could have contacted Ace or I to come get you. You didn't have to leave that night but you insisted and we did what we thought was best at the time." The fire in her eyes was burning out so I assumed it was safe to scold her.

The brunette flinches not thinking she was going to get called out.

Ace separates us and ducks down to meet Lily's gaze, "Hey now Lil' just ignore everything that this asshole is saying. None of this is your fault, he is just being a dick because we didn't protect you well enough, but I am here now. You are safe now and I will personally make sure that you are under the protection of the strongest people I know."

"Like those cops you so confidently entrusted her with." I state flatly hoping to burrow my way under his skin.

He points a finger at as if to make a point but his mouth just opens and closes a few times speechless, "Shut up! I will keep it within the immediate family this time."

I step over to the side of Ace not even bothering a flicker of my gaze to the officer and ask Lily a question I've been curious about since I got her, "Why the hell are you alone in the middle of down town anyway?

The broken girl eyes are filled with fresh hot, angry tears, "Today is my mom's birthday. The only present I can give her now is music and I thought I would be able to give her that without getting fondled!"

She wraps her leather coat tight around herself at the mention of the fresh trauma.

My fellow ravenette shakes his head slowly with a small understanding smile, "The best present you can give her is a life where you fulfill your dreams, not a life where you nearly get killed or worse."

Ace gestures for a hug. Lily slowly let her small figure be engulfed by the ginormous hug. She seemed uncomfortable like she was only hugging him to ease Ace's mind.

"You have taken on a lot of stuff. You need to deal with the mental damage as you go too." He pressed his lips to the top of her head, a gesture which enraged me but causes the petite brunette to blush, "The Ace Hotline is open whenever you want to talk."

What if I just punched him?

I roll my eyes hard and wedge myself between the two lightly resting my hand on Lily's shoulder, "Are you okay?" I ask, never really getting a real answer before.

She wipes her eyes and lets out a huge puff of air, "I'm fine. He didn't grab anything and so what if he kissed me, I have gotten kissed my creeps before."

She pretended to be strong but her anxious fidgeting was her tell that she was anything but fine. I could tell horrible what-if thoughts ensnared her brain. She chewed at her already bitten nails probably trying to finger out how she could have broken free if she was stronger.

"I'm staying with you." The words left my mouth before my brain could process.

"No." Ace stops the idea before it can even take roots.

"Ace." She cradles his hand and hers.

Why do they always have to be touching each other?

"You can't watch me all the time; he is the next best thing. He knows how to deal with Dolflamingo and has kept himself safe up to now. I know you don't trust him but I do and that should be good enough" Lily's turns her puffy eyes up to him winning him over, "I don't want to be alone right now."

I didn't have the heart to tell her I had been in the exact same position she had been more times than I could count.

Ace and I exchange a glance silently agreeing that we would do everything we could to protect Lily and help her get stronger. Even if that meant being in each other's presence.

At that moment the door bursts open and my albino comrade rushes in.

"How long does it take to park a car Bepo?" I state blandly.

"Sorry. We ran into Luffy and his crew outside and we got excited. We haven't seen them in ages." My ivory hair friend hangs his head low.

Both crews flood into the building chattering.

Guilt stirs in my stomach as Luffy approaches me.

He stops a few feet short of me and gives me that candid Luffy grin, "Good to have you back Traffy."

I smile at his easy going attitude honestly feeling a bit relieved, "I promise I won't be so much trouble this time."

The bouncy ravenette extends an arm around my shoulder despite the height difference. "That is good enough for me!"

The familiar weight of his arm was comforting. Straw Hat was the craziest person I knew but he always achieved a goal when he set his mind to it.

I watch as Luffy's and my crew collide in a barrage of hugs, handshakes, laughter and smiles.

I glance over my shoulder a see Lily standing reserved by Ace watching in awe at the spectacle.

Maybe with his crazy luck we would have a chance.

*Ace POV* -a joyous reunion and a story time later-

Lily distanced herself the whole night and only talked when someone asked her a question directly, each time she had to be pulled back from a day dream.

She currently perched herself opposite of Law in a corner booth made for six people just at the recesses of our conversation.

My brothers voice tears me away from her, "You know with this crew we will have no problem getting all the information we need to take Doflamingo down."

Lily scoffs in disbelief and mumbles a little louder than I think she intended, "What makes you all so confident that you can do this?"

Lily's gloom is snuffed out by light that shone so brightly as everyone exchanged knowing smiles.

I skip over to Lily and put my arm around her giddy. I felt her jumped a mile high beneath my arm and try to retreat further into the both. I quickly remove it taking a mental note that I had to be gentler when I get this pumped up. I give her hand a quick squeeze instead, "Well you curious kitten, let me enlighten you."

I turn and point to Robin who is leaning her head against her slender fingers, "Robin was literally a Russian spy. Franky was hired by home land security because he hacked into the government network to buy something for one of his inventions. Usopp is a national champion in sharpshooting. You already know Chopper is a medical genius."

Lily squints her emerald eyes and casts a glance to Law looking for confirmation that I wasn't spewing bullshit. He just shrugs his shoulders and nods nonchalantly.

I tap her hand like the hyperactive dog I am, "Zoro hasn't lost a kendo champion ship in years and he hold the title as one of the worse generation in the Grand Line. Sanji wins Taekwondo tournaments by just using his legs and was born part of the infamous Vinsmoke Family. Nami used to work as a master thief under the crime lord Arlong before we found her; she's never been caught. Brook has been around longer than any us. He now own chains of pubs and has eyes and ears everywhere."

"And Luffy." I give her hand an excited squeeze, "Is stronger than anyone here and will do anything to protect his friends. You could not be in better hands."

Lily mouth hangs slack and her eye brows stay knitted together, "This is real." She gestures to everyone, "This is actual reality?"

I shoot her a reassuring smile, "Better believe it Buttercup."

Law lets out a small chuckle into his beverage, "You'll get used to the madness. Trust me I did."

Lily just nods with wide owl eyes.

This girl is in so deep. I hope she knows how to swim.

Franky open giant hand and an object clatters to the table.

It was a small cotton candy pink coaster with an adorable white cat on it. Attached to the coaster was a cord that with a usb plug in.

He has a huge toothy grin on his face, "You can warm your tea with it!"

Lily twirls the disk in her hands and looks at Franky like he had officially lost his fucking mind.

He puffs his chest out and jabs his thumb into it "I compacted the size of a normal usb drive into the plug in of that hand dandy device there. If you plug that into your computer at work, I can download all the info on that computer onto that. Once it is plugged in, I'll be notified and do all the fancy computer stuff remotely. It'll give us a place to start without having to try to hack through a bunch of firewalls and junk. Shouldn't cause any unwanted attention."

"Really!?" Her eyes alive for the first time all night.

Law taps the table with his finger to grasp her attention, "We are very capable Lily. Matter of fact, with all the new help I think I have a plan."

*Baby5 POV*

The glass of my martini clinks to the wooden bar.

Since Lillian stopped me at the Sunny, I couldn't help but think about her.

Maybe she the way out? Maybe I could finally live a life where I was needed by a man.

I knew I was needed by Doffy though which was nice in its own twisted way. I owed him everything. He took me in when my mom saw me as nothing more than an ash tray and burden.

The men I dated always seem to randomly disappear or suddenly relocate. I confronted the Young Master about it and he told me her was just looking out for me like any older brother would.

I never questioned him again. When he spoke to me, I could tell if I said the wrong thing something horrible would happen.

"Can I get you a drink?"

I perk up to the masculine voice beside me.

He has shaggy brown hair and side burns, harden hands and face that told he did manual labor for living, and a body built like a tree.

"Ah! Sure." I smile sweetly to him and blush.

"What is a beautiful girl like you wallowing at a bar alone?" He flags the bartender down with a calloused hand.

"You want to hear about my life?" My heart flutters when he asks.

He takes a large gulp of his beer, "Sure. After a long day at work, having a conversation with lady is the highlight of my day."

I take a sip of my martini blushing fiercely at his flattery. Maybe I do fall for men to easy, but what is wrong with that?

"My . . . Brother is very protective when it comes to my dating life," I sigh, "All I want is to be needed by someone and take care of someone the rest of my life."

He turns to me and give a quizzical look, "I think any relationship you are in should be about mutual caring and needing of each other. You can't be the only one doing all the work in a relationship it isn't fair to you and your needs, but your brother shouldn't be the one deciding that for you either though."

He was an old fashion man with a strong sense of honor not like the normal men that are attracted to me.

I tuck a lock of hair behind my ear, "What did you say your name was?"

He extended a large hand toward me with a charming grin, "My name is Sai."

Did my best to update with grad school!

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