STORY 3: BEETHOVEN FANATIC

Starring:

Schroeder Klimt

Lucy Van Pelt

Linus Van Pelt

Patricia "Peppermint Patty" Reichardt

Franco

Charlie Brown

Frieda Rich

Snoopy

and the spirit of Ludwig van Beethoven

VERONA: And now the final story in "Tales from Sparkyville" tells about a fanboy who idolized a classical composer to the point that he almost became him.

DAMIEN: This is a cautionary tale in following false idols in high places. Our last story takes place in the 1970s, when disco was king, and high platform shoes and afros were in style. But one guy thought, in the words of Huey Lewis, that it was "hip to be square"!

The year was 1976, the year of the bicentennial. Disco was on the rise, and everyone was getting down to the dance beat. Everyone, except for young Schroeder Klimt. He didn't listen to disco, or even rock-n-roll. He was all about the classical music; mainly the piano sonatas. And the one composer he idolized the most was the great Ludwig van Beethoven. While he listened to others like Mozart and Bach to name a couple, Beethoven was the one he loved the most.

One particular day, his girlfriend Lucy came by dressed up for going to a dance. Their friends Charlie Brown and Frieda were with her.

"Schroeder," she cooed. "We're going to the school disco dance. It's not too late to take your ever-caring sweetheart."

"Sorry, Lucy," said Schroeder. "I've been trying to knock out this sonata for days. I think I may be close." And he started to play his piano. He then stopped in the middle of the piece.

"Rats!" he groaned. "I was so close!"

"It sounded fine to me," observed Charlie Brown.

"Me, too," added Frieda.

"Come on, babe," said Lucy. "You've been beating yourself up over this piece for weeks. You seem to be turning into Beethoven himself!"

"Don't be ridiculous," scoffed Schroeder. "Just because I idolize the guy doesn't mean I'm the next incarnation of him. I'm just adding my own interpretation of his wonderful music. Besides, disco doesn't appeal to me. It has no appeal to me at all."

"Okay, but don't get mad if a cute boy asks me to dance with him," said Lucy, giving up. "I will tell him I already have a boyfriend, but I don't want you to get jealous."

"It's fine, Lucy," assured Schroeder. "I know you're faithful." And Lucy and the others left for the dance. Schroeder continued to play the sonata.

As they were leaving, Lucy said, "Charlie Brown, Frieda, I'm worried about Schroeder."

"What do you mean?" asked Charlie Brown.

"We all know that he loves to play Beethoven," Lucy started, "but these days, he's way too obsessed, even for him! And this particular piece that he's been practicing for like forever has got him even more wound up."

"Maye we could have a Beethoven intervention," suggested Frieda.

"It may come to that, Frieda," sighed Lucy. "Because if this keeps up, I may have Ludwig instead of Schroeder by the end." Little did Lucy now how right she would be.

Later that evening, Schroeder continued to practice. His mother brought in his dinner so he could eat as he played. Finally, exhausted from practicing all day, Schroeder collapsed on his piano. He had worn himself out, and his fingers were red and pulsating.

"Maybe that's enough for one day," he said to himself. Schroeder got up and got ready for bed. As he went to sleep his started tossing and turning. All of the sudden he woke up to the sight of Ludwig van Beethoven himself, standing in front of his bed.

"Are you the one they call Schroeder Klimt?" asked the composer.

"Beethoven?!" said an astounded Schroeder. "I am your biggest fan! How are you? I have so many questions to ask you!"

"There will be plenty of time for that, my boy," assured Beethoven. "Right now I need to know, are you playing my Piano Sonata No. 32 in C minor, Opus 111?"

"Yes, as I'm trying to learn it right now," Schroeder replied.

"You know that was my final piano sonata, lad," said Beethoven.

"I do know that."

"Well I always wanted to play that once more, but I died before I could. Maybe you could help me?"

"How could I help you, sir?"

"Just hold still, my boy. You won't feel a thing." And, before Schroeder could react, the spirit of the composer slipped into his biggest fan's body, taking over Schroeder as a result. Schroeder's eyes began to glow a bright light as the transformation.

The next day, Lucy was walking with Frieda and Peppermint Patty towards Schroeder's house. They wanted to share what Schroeder missed at the dance the previous night.

"I wish I could have danced with my Schroeder," Lucy lamented. "Once he hears what fun he missed out on, I'm sure he won't stand me up again."

"Maybe, Lucille," Peppermint Patty began, "but I wouldn't count on it."

"The only things he loves more than even you is playing the music of his idol Beethoven," added Frieda. "While it's okay to love classical music, there is such a thing as too much of one kind of music."

"Maybe," said Lucy, "but try telling him that." When they approached his house, they heard the sound of Piano Sonata No. 32 in C minor, Opus 111 playing loudly. As they entered the house, they saw Schroeder at the piano. While they were used to seeing him playing his piano as he always did, they couldn't help but notice that he looked different. His hair was done up in a late 1700s/early 1800s style, and he looked really stern and frustrated, even for him.

"Schroeder?" Lucy started. "Are you feeling all right?"

"Nicht jetzt, Frau!" he shouted with his voice sounding drastically different. "Ich bin damit beschäftigt, meine Sonate zu üben!"

"What did you say?" asked Lucy, getting upset.

"Kann ein Mann seine Musik nicht in Ruhe üben?!" he responded.

Peppermint Patty recognized the language. "Lucille, he's talking in German!"

"How do you know, Patty?" Lucy asked.

"Uh, you do know my boyfriend, Franco, just so happens to be German," Patty retorted.

"Yeah, but why is Schroeder all of the sudden speaking it?" wondered Frieda.

"Well with him liking Beethoven and all, maybe he's picked up on the German language," reasoned Lucy. Turning back to her boyfriend, she said, "Schroeder, can't you go back to talking English, please?"

"Guter Kummer, Frau!" he shouted, finally stopping playing. "Schröder ist nicht mehr. Du kannst mich Ludwig nennen!"

"I think he said his name was now Ludwig, as in Ludwig van Beethoven!" said a concerned Patty.

"What are we going to do?" asked Frieda.

"Patty, call Franco and tell him to come over here right away," said Lucy. "He's German, so he'll understand Schro- I mean Ludwig here. Afterwards, I'm calling Linus."

"What will Linus do?" asked Patty.

"He's been studying up on removing spirits and exorcisms," Lucy replied. "He will be crucial to saving Schroeder."

A few minutes later, both Linus and Franco showed up. Charlie Brown and Snoopy also came for extra help. Franco talked in his native German language to "Ludwig" so he can be calm around another native German. Linus, meanwhile, got ready to perform the exorcism.

"Everyone circle the host and piano," Linus started. "Now hold hands." And everyone held hands. For Snoopy, one paw was holding his owner's hand, and the other beckoned Lucy's.

"I AM NOT HOLDING HANDSOR PAWS WITH THAT STUPID BEAGLE!" she ranted.

"Good grief, Lucy, do you want to save Schroeder or not?!" said a frustrated Charlie Brown. "Set your stupid pride aside for now and grab my dogs paw!"

Lucy reluctantly held Snoopy's other paw and the exorcism began. "Oh spirit of Ludwig van Beethoven," Linus began. "Leave this boy! You must move on. Your music will forever survive and your last sonata will always be performed. Just move on."

And the kids started chanting "Move on" and Schroeder's body started shaking and twitching before finally collapsing on top of the piano. After a while, Schroeder groaned and got up.

"What happened?" he asked.

"Schroeder, you wouldn't believe me if I told you," said Lucy. And the rest started laughing. Schroeder was back to normal.

A few days later, Lucy went to Schroeder's house to see if he had recovered fully from his possession. He was watching TV and not at his piano like he usually was.

"Schroeder," she began. "How come you're not playing your piano?"

"Well I thought about what you said, Lucy," he began, "and I figured you were right. I do need to take a break from playing. I will play once again, but for now, I'm going to take it easy. Plus, I think I need a break from Beethoven. As much as I like playing his music, somehow I feel like I should stay away from it for a while. Maybe play some Bach or even some Holden."

"Now that sounds like a plan, baby," said a happy Lucy. She joined her boyfriend to watch TV and relax for the afternoon.

END OF STORY 3

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