Chapter 4 – A Word

Martin was quiet during dinner that evening, not that he said very much, usually. James was making more than enough noise for both of us while he ate his chicken and mash The peas he passed on. After dinner, we took James out for a walk, and after returning to the house, I gave him his bath. Martin then took over the night time routine of jammies, a glass of milk, and bedtime stories.

I put down the textbook I was trying to make sense of when I heard Martin walking down the stairs. This particular book was filled with plenty of complicated psychological counseling terms, and it was rather heavy going. Martin came down after settling James into bed. "He go down alright?" I asked.

"The usual. Two books. He was pointing to each number in the counting book."

"Mell says they are working on numbers as well as letters in his preschool."

"I noticed. James has one, two, and fwee down pat," Martin added. "He's progressing." He looked up at me thoughtfully. "Normally."

I patted the sofa cushion next to me so he sat down there. I swung my legs across his lap and he started to massage my left foot. "Thanks."

He inspected my foot. "Are these marks usual?"

"New shoes."

"Hm. Support as well as comfort…"

I stared at him for a few seconds and he got the message because his 'shoe lecture' was cut short.

He started to pick up his journal, so I said, "Martin, a word? That alright?"

He pushed his journal away and faced me. "Go on."

"Right. When I… so, when James and I were down… in Spain…" I stopped, finding the air hard to get for some reason

"What is it?"

I touched his hand. "I… just want to say… well, you never asked; about what I did down there."

"You needed space."

I swept my hair back. "Yes, I did." I laced my fingers with his. "But, I don't believe that most of the time being away did me much good."

"Oh."

I forced a smile. "As you can imagine mum wasn't much help."

"Right," he mumbled, as if to say 'what did you expect?'

"But… there was a moment; and just at the right time. It sorta snuck up on me." I bit my lip and looked away, for it was difficult to tell him this.

"Louisa, you don't have to…"

"No, Martin, I must. After you phoned, and I got your message, and then when I tried to call you back… voicemail; awkward." Martin had been stuck on a beach, I'd heard, and then he was with Dr. Timoney. Voicemail was less than acceptable; like sending telegrams used to be, I guess.

He winced. "Yes."

"I had to decide what to do. When to come back, yes? Start of term was coming up, but I…" I wiped my eyes which had gone wet. "I took James up to the mountains, to get away from mum. There was this road that went up to the top of a beautiful hill, and I had a taxi drive us up there, with a hamper, and I promised the driver 10 Euros extra if he came back for us in three hours."

"I see," he said, but his expression showed confusion about what I was saying.

"So, we had a little picnic, but your son was far more interested in poking at ants than eating. But, anyway I got some food into him, and then he had a little nap. I guess I must have dozed off as well, for I had this dream. A dream about you and me."

"I see."

"We were in bed together; not a care in the world. In the dream. And it was lovely." Then I smiled for him. "So, anyway when I woke up, I was looking down on a river valley. It was beautiful, with the water down below and the way the light reflected from it, the scrubby olive trees on the hillsides, and there was a warm breeze… oh, it was wonderful. But."

"But?"

I put my arm across his shoulders. "It was so pretty; so nice, but you weren't there with me to see it. And I knew that wasn't good enough, so I came back to Cornwall."

"I see."

"And now here we are."

He half-turned, holding my legs awkwardly. "Yes, and I am… so glad."

"Me too," I murmured.

He looked at me watchfully. "What's this about?"

"Oh, I was thinking about Al, Morwenna, and us."

He just looked at me, but his mouth twitched. "Go on."

"Here they are, the two of them, a couple, with a baby on the way, and doesn't that remind you of us?"

"But, they're both here – in the village. Oh, Morwenna thanked you for the crackers. Said they helped a lot. I told her to eat small meals, and more often, as a way to defeat pregnancy morning sickness."

"I practically lived on crackers and juice for a few weeks myself. But at least, Al and Morwenna are together; uhm, same house even. But just look at them. Morwenna's parents are off doing good works…"

He shook his head. "Damn good thing they came to Portwenn. Appalling medical treatment where they were."

"I know. And I am so happy that you were able to get her mum's medical diagnosis made proper. And then there's Al. He's struggled."

"With Bert for a parent how could he not?"

"Oh, Martin just listen and quit judging! Here's my point. She's never been anywhere or done anything. She's smart, is Morwenna, but has lacked opportunities. Same for Al."

"He's running that pub."

"Yes, and making money at it I hear, and he's smart as well."

"What are you saying?"

I smiled at him. "I want to help them out."

"Why?"

I hung my head. "They're going to have a baby now, and that's a huge amount of responsibility and cost. Look… when I was little… and when my dad, oh…" I shrugged automatically, "people helped out. You know."

"You're saying that you wish to do… just what exactly?"

"You need to give Morwenna a pay rise, and straight away."

"She's already had a five percent pay rise!"

"Well give her another. I've seen her in action. She's been riding herd on the time-wasters in your surgery. Keeps things tidy and organized. Helps to keep you on schedule during busy days. Plus, she's far more effective in the job than anyone else has been."

He looked thoughtful. "She has been triaging them, yes. That has been useful."

"See? I'm right, aren't I?"

He sighed. "I'll think about it." He cracked his neck slightly. "But what has that got to do with your trip to Spain?"

I bit my lip. He didn't get it. Oh well. "Because. Nobody lives in a vacuum. This whole village depends on each of us to help each other. So, I think you ought to invite Al up to the house to play chess now and again. Ruth says he's very good, plus he looks up to you Martin. And I'll be taking Morwenna shopping for maternity clothes and baby things when the time is right."

"Chess with Al?" He shook his head. "And now you want to mother her?"

"Martin, not quite." I swung my legs off his lap and scooted closer to him so I could kiss his cheek. "But perhaps I can be a sort of sister to her. She's got no family, really."

"So…" his voiced stopped. "Wait a minute. You see yourself in her."

"Little bit. Maybe." There was a lot of me in Morwenna. A girl alone, I had been. "Time to pay it back; our turn you see." I also imagined that Morwenna might be frightened. I knew that I had been.

He bobbed his head. "Having a baby isn't easy."

While I had been thinking about babies, I hoped that Martin was as well. "That we do know," I sighed. "But they do come along, don't they?"

He folded his hands. "I'm glad that you came home."

I patted his arm. "Being down in Spain… well, I needed you, you see. I finally got it." I gave him a tighter hug and kissed his neck. Then I yawned and stretched and I hoped that he'd noticed the way I pressed against him, my chest against his. "Time for bed?" I whispered.

He checked his watch but didn't say anything. After a few seconds he stared at my face, squeezed my hand, and kissed me full on the mouth. "Right," he agreed after we broke apart.

Then taking my hand he drew me upstairs. I didn't mind at all what we did next.