Episode 3: Weakening
"Do Earth females usually hover in the air while they sleep?" Firid'n asked. Firid'n, Al'krr, Soulfire, Darya, Robin, Starfire, Beast Boy, and Cyborg were gathered in the room that had been prepared for Raven. Upon returning from their little skirmish with the scouts and rescuing Starfire, Beast Boy had gently laid her on her bed. As soon as he released her, she began to float in her healing trance, and she had remained suspended there for several hours. And Beast Boy had stayed by her side since.
"No, they don't. But Raven's a special case," Beast Boy replied, his eyes not leaving Raven's face.
"She's not from Earth either," Cyborg clarified, and the Tamaraneans nodded.
"Does she require any equipment to accelerate the healing process?" Darya asked, "I have several apparatuses in my lab that I use to patch myself up during experiments."
"No, but thank you, Darya. Raven's magic heals her, it just takes some time," Robin said kindly, and Darya nodded, her pageboy hair bobbing ever so slightly. Starfire turned to Firid'n, Al'krr, and Darya.
"I would like to thank you, friends of my brother, for keeping him safe. And for helping to subdue the scouts who attempted to take me captive," Starfire said, smiling sweetly. The three she addressed didn't bother to hide their surprise at her sudden change in attitude – she had gone from somber and weeping to sincere and happy since she'd fled from Galfore's chambers – and they returned her smile.
"Of course, princess! We live to serve!" Firid'n said, clapping her on the back so hard that it would have made Robin wince but Starfire didn't even react.
"Anything for you, milady," Darya replied, her smile short and sweet as it soon returned to her impassive look. Al'krr merely nodded, not taking his eyes off of Starfire.
Shiora entered the room with a bowl of cool water and a rag and handed the items to Beast Boy. "Here, little one, just as you requsted." Beast Boy only nodded as he took the rag and wiped away the sweat that had formed on Raven's forehead. Shiora then looked at Soulfire's posse and said, "Come along, boys, we've bothered the Titans enough for one day and they have a lot they need to do. We have a lot to do for tomorrow too, so let's get to it." Firid'n and Al'krr nodded and followed her out of the room, and Darya distanced herself by standing right next to the door after they exited.
There was an uncomfortable silence for a brief moment as Beast Boy put the rag back in the bowl and turned to face the others until Soulfire broke it by saying, "Sister, I was thinking… Would you mind taking a walk with me around the palace? We have much we should discuss."
Starfire looked hesitant and she glanced at Robin for a cue. He whispered, "Go ahead. We'll be here if you need us. Cyborg and I are going to go take a look at the ship before bed, okay?" She nodded and replied to her brother, "You are correct, Soan—Brother, we do have much to discuss." The siblings exited the room and Darya followed them, keeping a respectable distance behind them, leaving Beast Boy, Cyborg, Robin, and a trance-bound Raven behind. Robin looked after the retreating Tamaraneans until Cyborg put his hand onto his shoulder.
"Come on, man. Star will be fine. I think that Darya girl is just as worried about them as you are. She won't let them kill each other," the semi-robot said good-naturedly.
"I'm not really worried about them being angry with one another, Cy. Angry at least means that they're dealing with things. I'm more worried about other things, but thanks anyways," Robin said before looking down at Raven's prone form. Then he looked at Beast Boy. He could see a familiar protective glint in the green changeling's eyes – a glint that had prefaced a dramatic and harsh change into The Beast – but he could also see that Beast Boy was doing his best to remain in control. After a quick moment to consider, he said, "Beast Boy, you stay with Raven. Let us know when she wakes up. Cyborg and I are going to go check on the ship and grab the last of the luggage."
Beast Boy nodded and said, "You got it, boss! I'll be right here, watching her like a hawk." To prove his point, he then turned into a hawk and perched himself perfectly on the back of the chair he had been sitting in. Cyborg and Robin rolled their eyes and headed for the T-Ship, leaving Beast Boy alone with Raven.
~ insert theme song here ~
Starfire and Soulfire (and Darya trailing behind quietly) strolled through the palace. They had been strolling for ten minutes, and still they had not said a word. Starfire had been sneaking glances at her brother every once in a while, but she had nothing she could say.
It had been four years since she last saw him. And the last time she'd said a word to him was when he was telling her that the Gordanians had asked him and Blackfire to hear the conditions of a treaty they were proposing. It wasn't until she woke up cuffed and imprisoned on the Citadel prisoner transport ship that she realized that she had been the condition… and that Soulfire had allowed her to become so.
She hadn't blamed her sister for what had happened, though. Starfire knew that Blackfire was only in the discussion out of formality; even though she was older than both of her siblings, Blackfire was not in line for the throne by succession because she was a female. Soulfire had been groomed from birth to take the throne once their parents had passed, and Blackfire had been raised to marry into another planet's royalty, perhaps Vernathia (before the Locrix invasion). Blackfire could always have challenged Soulfire – and obviously she had figured out some way to become Grand Ruler in Soulfire's absence – but she would never have been handed the crown willingly unless Soulfire had died.
So Starfire had gone the last four years believing her sister to have had no part in the surrender conditions and nursing a great deal of anger and hurt toward her brother. But now she knew that he had not wanted to give her up. Shortly after making up with her brother, Robin had told her everything Soulfire had said in Galfore's room. She had understood to a point; her brother was up against the wall, and the Gordanians pulled a trick. But there was still a lingering distance, a throbbing pain in her chest that she hadn't wanted to address.
Why had he never come for her? Why had he never tried to find her? Why hadn't he tried to get her back?
These were questions that she did not have the answers for, nor did she have the courage to ask them. So they continued walking in silence with only Darya's occasional request for updates from the other guards around the palace to punctuate their discomfort.
Beast Boy sat as a hawk for a while before growing bored and returning to his normal form. Raven had been out for four hours. He understood that her head was probably hurting and that the scout had probably done a decent bit of damage. But the only other time she had been out this long (actually a little longer) was when Adonis attacked Beast Boy and she got caught in the scuffle. It had taken so long for her to heal because Beast Boy, in his Beast state, had taken her away and moved her a little too carelessly, causing her injuries to worsen.
But here she was in better condition than she had been then. So why was she still asleep?
"Come on, Rae," Beast Boy pleaded, laying his head on the bed, "please wake up. What's going on with you?" He looked around the room. Someone must have done their homework because this room had been decorated as close to her personal tastes as one could manage without her. The room was dimly lit, painted black, purple, and blue, and had candles and incense holders all over. The large bookcase was still empty, save for a few Tamaranean knickknacks that Starfire had told him had magical properties, but Raven would fill it with the books she had brought in no time. Her bed was large and plush with lavender and black covers, violet pillows, and thin white gossamer curtains around the lavender canopy that she could draw if she wished.
All Beast Boy wished, however, was that she would wake up. Say something sarcastic. Hit him over the head. Anything!
"Raven, come on! Are you having a really good dream? Is that why you're still asleep?" he asked, knowing that wasn't the answer. If she ever had dreams, good or bad, she'd never told him. He slumped down further so that all that was keeping him up was his chin on the bed and the edge of his butt on the chair.
He had never been good at waiting, especially not when he was worried. So, in order to distract himself, he replayed the last battle with the scouts in his head.
Okay, Robin exploded one dude and called out for Starfire – no surprise there. I started going for the dude on the left and Cyborg went for the one on the right. Raven shielded Star with her energy—wait, no she didn't. She stood in front of her with her hands glowing. Weird. Beast Boy looked at Raven. She hadn't moved her body, but her face had moved ever so slightly into a frown. Perhaps she was feeling his confusion with her empathic powers. Beast Boy continued his rundown.
Then Robin managed to get the spear away from one of the guys and I slapped the other one down with my bear paw. Cyborg got shocked by the leader guy's electric spear, so he was down. And Raven was unlocking Star with her pow—WAIT! Raven's energy flickered off. Starfire looked worried, and that's when Raven got hit! Something is wrong with Raven's powers!
Beast Boy quickly started scouring Raven's new room for what he needed as he pulled out his communicator (which he wasn't sure would still work). "Come in, Cyborg! Do you read me?"
"What's up, little man? Is Raven awake?" Cyborg asked, and Beast Boy sighed in relief that the communicator still functioned normally.
"No, but I think I know why it's taking her so long to heal. Something's up with her powers. They're not working." Cyborg took in this new information and pondered the possibility of what the green teen – who was currently rummaging through Raven's luggage – was saying.
"That actually makes sense," Cyborg replied, "I mean, since Trigon is gone, it would make sense that her powers would weaken a bit. But to not work at all? I mean, they worked well enough to get rid of the guy."
"I know. But something's wrong. I have to go in," Beast Boy said, widening his eyes meaningfully. Cyborg's own gazed back at him with wonder.
"B, are you sure? She might try to kill you," Cyborg whispered conspiratorially, trying to keep it down near Robin. In the time since they had accidentally gone through Raven's mind portal mirror, neither of them had spoken about it. Sure, the three of them had gotten a bit closer, but that was something private between the three of them, and it was an unspoken rule not to mention it. It was also an unspoken rule that neither Cyborg nor Beast Boy was to ever go back there again.
"She might. That is a definite possibility," Beast Boy gulped nervously, "but if she's really hurt and can't heal herself, she could be trapped in that trance forever! I gotta see what's wrong for myself." Finally, in the smallest bag she had stuffed inside of her largest suitcase, he found the mirror. Careful not to look at it yet, he brought it over to the chair he'd been sitting at.
Cyborg sighed, "You're right. But if I don't hear from you in another three hours, I'm coming in after you." Beast Boy nodded and they both hung up. Beast Boy looked down at Raven's face; she was frowning more now so that even people who didn't know what to look for could see it. This worried Beast Boy even more than her refusal to wake up; if she was frowning in her meditative healing trance, something bad must be going on in Nevermore.
He reached out to touch her face, but stopped himself before he did. Instead, he just said, "Raven, I'm coming in there. If you can hear me, I don't care if you're going to fling me out of the window when you wake up. Because you are going to wake up. You have to!" He flipped the mirror over and stared into the glass surface. But instead of seeing Trigon/Rage's four red eyes glaring back at him, he saw a grey version of Raven running towards the mirror. Before he could register what was happening, the grey Raven reached her hand out of the glass, grabbed Beast Boy by the shirt, and dragged him into the mirror. Beast Boy let out a small scream that was soon swallowed by the portal, and the mirror landed gently on the bed next to the floating Titan.
Cyborg hung up his arm and returned to looking at the ship. Luckily, she hadn't been damaged too badly in the skirmish with the Gordanian drone fleet, but she was still scuffed up in some places, and there were a few panels on Starfire's section that were coming loose. He made a note of it in his brain and continued his inspection.
Robin, meanwhile, had been listening. Of course he had been working on the ship as well – unpacking all of the rest of their stuff from the little places they had stashed them in the T-Ship to save space – but he couldn't help overhearing Beast Boy and Cyborg's conversation. And while he knew that everyone on the team was entitled to their own secrets – after all, he had several of his own that not even Raven knew, to the best of his knowledge – he was getting a little tired of being kept out of the loop. Where was Beast Boy going? How had he and Cyborg gone someplace without Robin knowing? How was he going to get there without the T-Ship?
"Cyborg," Robin spoke up, unloading some squishy-looking fuzzy pink luggage from Starfire's compartment, "do you think Raven's going to wake up sometime soon?"
Cyborg cleared his throat and answered, "I hope so, man. BB was on the comm just now and he told me he thinks it has something to do with her powers messing up." Though Robin had heard that part of the conversation quite clearly and had already come to a similar conclusion that Cyborg had, he pretended to think this over for a moment.
"It makes sense. Her powers stem from Trigon, and Trigon has been destroyed. It makes sense that they'd be weaker. Maybe her healing slows down when her powers aren't at full capacity," Robin said, rummaging through Starfire's console to see if she'd left anything else. He heard Cyborg let out a little sigh of relief and continue on to the nose of the ship. "What I don't understand, though," Robin continued, "is where Beast Boy is going to fix it. He said he was going 'in'. What does that mean?"
Cyborg had abandoned his feigned interest in the front of the ship and was staring wide-eyed at Robin. He had his "Oh-crap-I'm-in-trouble-now" face on, and Robin knew he'd got him. Robin slid down the side of the ship and landed gracefully in front of Cyborg.
"If you two have some way of helping Raven, why haven't you said anything before?" Robin asked angrily. Cyborg held his hands up in surrender, backing away slightly from his leader.
"It might not work, man! And we've never been there on purpose before! It was an accident a few years ago, BB and I were in Raven's room and we went…" Cyborg drifted off, hesitant to finish.
"Where? What was in Raven's room?" Robin asked impatiently. Cyborg let out a sigh of defeat and sat down with his back against the ship.
"Look, man. Remember our first fight with Dr. Light? How she got all scary?" Robin nodded. "Remember how it went on to the next day and she exploded tofu eggs all over BB's face?" Robin nodded again, clueless as to where this was going. "Well, Beast Boy was in front of her room to apologize, but he was about to chicken out, so I knocked on the door for him, and it fell in. She wasn't there, so we kinda started… snooping around."
"And you're still alive?" Robin quipped, sitting down next to his friend. Now he was more curious than upset, and Cyborg shot him a little smile.
"We almost weren't. We found a mirror and Beast Boy started playing with it until Trigon's eyes sucked us inside of it. And then next thing we know, we wake up in this abyss with floating rocks, and…" Cyborg explained the rest of what happened that day in Nevermore to the best of his abilities, but Robin seemed to keep missing one thing.
"I still don't quite understand. Where exactly were you?" Cyborg growled in frustration.
"Dude! The multi-colored Ravens, the wide-open abysses with the confusing riddles, Trigon?!" Cyborg burst out, "We were in Raven's head!" Robin's eyes got wide and he didn't know whether to slap his own forehead for being an idiot or to slap Cyborg upside his for not telling him.
"You went inside of Raven's mind?!" Robin repeated, standing and beginning to pace, "I mean, it makes sense and you guys did start getting along better, but why is Beast Boy going in now? What could he do in there? It's not like you guys found where her powers are stored or something, right?" Cyborg shook his head.
"Nah, man, just her emotions," he replied, "But I kind of think the whole place was where her powers were. And that's why I'm worried."
"I don't follow."
"If Beast Boy is going into her mind when her powers aren't working right, how do we know he's going to be safe in there? Better yet, how's he going to get out?"
"WAAAAAAAAAUGH!" Beast Boy screamed as he fell face first from the open mouth of the portal onto a familiar slab of rock. It didn't hurt too much thankfully, but it wasn't like he flopped onto his bed either, so he had a hard time getting up. As he rose, he noticed a pair of grey-booted feet in front of him, and he looked up.
"Timid?" he asked, and the grey-cloaked look-alike of Raven nodded.
"Beast Boy, I'm so glad you're here," she said softly, helping him up and then retreating a few steps.
"It's okay, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm not mad or anything for dragging me in here. I wanted to come in anyways," Beast Boy said reassuringly, and Timid nodded again.
"I know. I—We heard you. Well, two of us did… But I can't—No, we must hurry. P-Please, come this way?" she said as she led him down a spiraling rock staircase. Beast Boy did as he was asked and followed the part of Raven he felt she showed the most of outwardly.
As they walked, he noticed a few things. For one, there were no more scary demon crows lurking about, which was a relief. But he also noticed that there wasn't much of… anything else around either. He kept looking for any of the other emotions – Happy with her Strawberry Shortcake pocket dimension, Brave beating up some enemy manifested for training, even Rage – but all he saw was the starry backdrop of Raven's mind and the occasional floating stone. There used to be long winding stone paths, landscapes, and canyons. Now it looked fairly barren. He glanced back at Timid's back as she led him but noticed that she looked even more faded than the grey cloak made her look.
"Hey, are you okay?" Beast Boy asked, and Timid moved her head up and down in a diagonal direction. "You look… not all there."
"We… We all are having some problems, Beast Boy," she nearly whispered, but Beast Boy could still hear her with his superb hearing, "A-And Raven is… well, she doesn't want to listen to us even though she nearly always listens to Intelligence, and Rage keeps smashing things at the meeting and even Happy is starting to cry, and—"
"Hey," Beast Boy said, reaching his hand out to her shoulder and turning her to face him, ignoring her flinch, "We'll figure this out. Together, okay?" Timid gave him a watery smile before sniffling and turning back around. Beast Boy stepped downward but the stairs had disappeared and instead he was standing on a regal-looking path to a garden surrounded by purple and black roses.
"Hurry, please," Timid requested and dashed into the garden. Beast Boy shook his head, trying to remember a garden being here the last time he had been in Nevermore, and followed her into the sweet-smelling (if slightly creepy) area. But before he could fully enter where he assumed the emotions were gathered, he bumped into Timid, who motioned for him to remain quiet.
"Stay here, p-please. The others don't know you're here," she informed him before darting quickly into the center of the garden. Beast Boy did as she instructed, turning into a ladybug and resting on a rose petal, and looked at the meeting of the Ravens.
Their meeting place looked to be the most solid thing he'd seen in Nevermore this time around. There was a large white gazebo surrounded by lilac gossamer curtains with several plush black pillows and cushions on the ground. Black candles illuminated the space as they hung in brass lamps above them and, even though a slight breeze seemed to be billowing the curtains a little, the flames of the candles never wavered. The gazebo was surrounded by five large rose bushes, but unlike the outer bushes that were only comprised of purple and black roses, the five each had their own unique color: the largest that seemed to be at the head of the gazebo was dark blue, and the other four had either red, cyan, bright orange, or emerald green roses. Each of the main five bushes had black leaves instead of green, causing the uniquely colored roses to stand out even more obviously.
Are those… for us? Beast Boy wondered. Is this her friendship garden or something?
A jarring "Raven, you must listen to reason!" broke Beast Boy out of his study of the scenery and brought his focus to the meeting taking place in the gazebo. Raven – the real one, wearing her signature blue cloak – sat at the head of the meeting right in front of the dark blue rose bush. He briefly wondered how she could be here when he thought that she had needed to use her mirror last time, but he pushed that aside for the moment. The pink-robed Happy sat directly to Raven's right, followed by Brave and an orange one he easily understood to be Lazy (simply based on the fact that she was trying very hard to nap on Brave's shoulder). Across from Raven sat Intelligence, a yellow Raven with a pair of cute round spectacles covering her eyes. And to Raven's left, there was an empty cushion followed by a bright lavender Raven he'd never seen before and then Rage in between Intelligence and the new Raven. Off to the side of the circle, looking exceptionally bored, was a Raven in brown Beast Boy again had never seen before. He noticed Timid slipping into the circle and taking her place on the empty cushion on Raven's left.
Intelligence continued, "You have no time left. You have tried everything else. Please, you need to listen to us." The real Raven bit her lip.
"Please, Raven, just listen to Intelligence so I can get back to my nap," Lazy commented, and Brave pushed her off her shoulder again. The brown Raven scoffed and sneered at Intelligence and Lazy.
"What do you two know? You've never been faced with this problem before – none of us have. Raven can handle this," she said smugly, but was quickly silenced by the evil look Rage shot her.
"Then why haven't you freed her from her trance, Pride? Why is she still here? She has been healed – wake her up!" Rage snapped, "Oh, wait, you can't! It already took us twice as long as normal to heal her, and now we're drained. WE CAN'T WAKE UP!" Rage rose from her cushion and was about to pounce on the brown-clad Pride, but Intelligence quelled her with one icy stare. Rage huffed and sat back down.
"It is true, Raven. Rage has a point," Intelligence remarked, addressing the real Raven again.
"You've done everything else, every spell you can think of," Brave said, trying to encourage Raven, "Just let us help now!"
"No," Raven finally spoke, "I can't let you all help. You all are too difficult to control, and you could easily hurt someone."
"It doesn't have to be that way!" Happy chirped, pleading with Raven, and Beast Boy flitted over to the green roses on Raven's right behind Happy, "We can work together!" Raven kept quiet, studying Happy. Beast Boy stared right at Raven, sure that she couldn't see him (green on green is kind of hard to spot). However, a slight giggle caused his attention to turn to the lavender Raven, and he could have sworn that she winked at him quickly before returning her attention to their leader. Beast Boy started to get a little nervous, but Timid spoke up.
"Raven, I…" Timid tried, but when she trailed off, Intelligence took back over.
"The bottom line is, Raven, your methods are failing. All of my assets, all of my libraries have been exhausted in your search for your lost strength. I cannot help you any more than I have," Intelligence said, adjusting her spectacles, "You've relied on your brain all you can. Now you have to rely on your emotions."
"But…" Raven started, clenching her fist. Intelligence sighed in frustration and turned to the lavender emotion.
"Affection? Do you have anything you'd like to add?" she asked, but Pride scoffed again.
"She never does. Out of all of us, Raven lets her out the least. I'm surprised she's even here," the brown emotion practically snarled. Affection (Beast Boy was absolutely blown away that she even had that emotion because he wasn't sure he'd ever seen it) blushed a little and bowed her head, her sweet smile fading.
"Really, Pride? Was that necessary?" Brave snapped, and Rage growled. Pride just ignored them.
"Well, I want her to speak," Intelligence said, "Affection?"
The lavender emotion inhaled deeply before turning her exceptionally purple eyes to the already amethyst eyes of the genuine Raven. Speaking frankly and in a slightly silkier voice than Raven's normally gravelly one, she said, "We are a part of you, Raven. And I know your friends would help you with us if you let them. I care about them… We all care about your friends. Because you care about your friends. You won't hurt them. And even if you accidentally do…" She briefly glanced at the rosebush where Beast Boy was hiding, and he gulped before she finished, "I'm sure they'll help you fix it."
Raven herself closed her eyes and took a deep breath. Beast Boy still wasn't entirely sure what was going on, even after hearing the full conversation, but he could tell that Raven was going to make a very important decision.
~ commercial break ~
It had been an hour. Soand'r and his sister had been walking in silence for an hour. And Darya was getting sick of it.
She knew it wasn't her place to interject. She was only a servant – though an admittedly high-ranking one – employed by the royal family to protect the heir to the Tamaranean throne. She was a researcher who used her expertise to do her job of protecting her liege better than anyone else. But in the many many many many hours spent in her lord Soand'r's company, she had never been so frustrated as she was an hour after her liege had taken the first step to repairing the relationship with his sister he had foolishly destroyed, even if it was the only option.
Darya knew how badly Soand'r wanted to fix his relationship with Koriand'r. She had spent many nights on the Centauri Moons watching over him as he silently wept or called her name in his sleep while begging for her not to be taken. She had counseled him through the worst of his regret and had role-played with him over what he should say when he saw her again. And even she was excited to see the princess again – she had always had a soft spot for the sweet and carefree little girl who would tag along behind her big brother or ask Darya herself to play with her. Darya wanted Soand'r to have his sister back.
So when she finally cleared her throat to get their attention, even though it was against her own personal code of non-interference with matters regarding the royal family, she was beyond frustrated.
"Milord Soand'r," she said, a hint of anger coloring her voice, "did you have a destination or a purpose in mind when you proposed this walk? Because I can surely think of a few other duties that require your attention." Darya didn't care if she came off as mean – she just wanted to get them moving. Soand'r looked exceptionally surprised, his dark purple-black eyebrows disappearing into his same-colored bangs, and Starfire looked at her in confusion.
"Brother? Did you need to be someplace?" Starfire asked guiltily, and Darya smiled internally. There. Now, tell her that she is your priority, milord, and then we can get this moving.
"No, Sister, I only need to be here. I simply am having trouble thinking of how to begin saying what I need to say to you," Soand'r confessed, just as Darya had planned. Starfire nodded in understanding.
"I too am having difficulties. There are so many things I wish to ask you, Brother. I do not know where to begin," she confessed. Darya softened even more than she already had toward the princess and surreptitiously shot her employer a look.
This is it, milord. Proceed with caution, she thought, and Soand'r nodded.
"Perhaps we could cover the basics first, Sister. I am very eager to hear more about your time on Earth and your friends. Perhaps you could tell me what I could do to make them happy, seeing as they are going to be here for the foreseeable future," he said kindly, and Starfire brightened.
"Oh, I would be elated to share with you all about my friends! What would you like to know first?" Starfire asked, actually floating in the air with joy. Soand'r's eyes brightened at this obvious sign of happiness and allowed himself to float next to her.
"I wish to know more about all of them, but perhaps you could tell me about your green friend first," he said.
"Friend Beast Boy is very funny! I do not understand all of his jokes, but the ones I do comprehend are very funny. Except for this one time where he pulled what is known as a 'prank', which means…" Starfire began to babble as the siblings floated down the hallway. Darya followed behind them, proud of herself.
I do hope this is the first of many positive steps in the right direction, milord. Darya thought. And she knew he heard her.
Robin and Cyborg had sat in silence since Cyborg had explained everything nearly an hour ago. They were worried – worried about Starfire bonding with her brother, worried about Raven and her powers, worried about Beast Boy being trapped in Raven's mind. And what was worse was that they were two incredibly skilled and powerful young men and they could do nothing to help.
Robin sighed and Cyborg looked over at him. "What, man?"
Robin stared straight ahead as he spoke, "We've been a team for so long. Four years. We're almost adults, Cyborg. But we've taken for granted that we know everything about each other when we obviously don't. I'm just wondering if there's any other gigantic earth-shattering thing I don't know about my team. …About my friends."
Cyborg considered what Robin said for a moment before clearing his throat and saying, "I had a girlfriend."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Her name was Marcy Reynolds. She was… amazing. She was smart, sweet, and the prettiest girl at my school. Even though we were only fifteen, I thought I loved her. I thought she loved me too, man…" Cyborg said, deliberately not looking at Robin. Robin stayed silent, knowing that obviously wasn't the end of the story. Cyborg continued on the tail end of a sigh, "When the… accident happened… when I got my new parts, she… she took one look at me, screamed that I was a freak, and broke up with me on the spot. I tried to change her mind, but…"
Robin refused to say anything, but he never took his eyes off his friend.
"She asked why I even bothered to come back because things could never be the same. She even…" Robin could see a tear roll down the human half of Cyborg's face as he said the last words in a monotone, "She asked, 'God, Victor, why didn't you just die…'"
"Vic…" Robin whispered, using Cyborg's real name for the first time since the formation of the team.
"It's okay, Grayson," Cyborg replied, clapping his large metal hand on Robin's shoulder, "I asked my dad that same thing when I woke up. Why couldn't he have just let me…"
"Because it wasn't your time, Vic," Robin said, grabbing the top of Cyborg's head and forcing Cyborg to look at him, "Look, Raven told me that when she looked into her future when she was young, she always saw Trigon. But she also always saw the five of us together, though she never believed that it would really happen. We – the five of us – are supposed to be together, however we are, because that's our family. This is where we belong. Whatever happened to us in the past made us who we are now so we can be together and do the amazing things we do every day."
Cyborg's eyes focused on the spiky-haired martial artist in front of him and saw, even through the mask, that Robin believed everything he was telling him. He could also see that, though he had used Raven as an example, Robin had believed something similar to her; he had believed that he would never have friends either, never have anyone except his mentor and his butler. And as good as the men who raised Robin were, they weren't the same as friends, as their team.
It was then that Cyborg remembered something Raven had said when she was facing her father: "I was protected by the monks of Azarath. I was raised by my friends. They are my family, this is my home." He had thought the idea of the Titans raising her as if she were a child a little strange at the time, but taking the time to think about it like he was now, he saw more truth in it. The Titans had all raised each other. They had cared for one another, even when they weren't sure how to take care of themselves. They had helped each other grow and stood by each other when they couldn't stand on their own.
Cyborg could even see the roles they each played in their family; Robin was the father, authoritative and mature. Starfire was the mom, all smiles and warm love. Cyborg was the oldest brother, mature and skilled but still able to be weak. Raven, the disaffected middle child who secretly loved being surrounded and hugged by family. And Beast Boy, the baby brother so incorrigible that you always forgave him. They had raised Raven and she had helped raise them.
And we aren't done growing up yet, Cyborg thought and smiled. Cyborg had recently celebrated his nineteenth birthday, and he still felt he had a lot to learn. Robin was eighteen, and Raven's own eighteenth birthday had been especially eventful. Starfire had taken a while to figure out how old she was in Earth years, but eventually her math led her to conclude that she was seventeen. And Beast Boy was easily the youngest (and grumpiest about it) at sixteen, though his seventeenth birthday was coming up.
The two sat in silence again for a short time longer until Cyborg pulled Robin to his large chest and gave him a fierce noogie attack. "Ow! Cut it out!" Robin laughed, and Cyborg just rubbed harder.
"You can never figure out when I'm gonna get you, man! For someone with great reflexes, you suck at dodging!" he laughed back, and they both felt better. By tacit agreement, they returned to looking over the ship, but they could both feel that new ground had been gained and their bond had been strengthened.
Not that either of them would ever admit anything that sappy out loud.
"I… can't," Raven finally said, and everyone else present (including Beast Boy, though Raven didn't know that) let out some noise of dissatisfaction.
"Your weakness is what is going to trap you here, Raven!" Rage roared.
"Why do you fear us so much?" Happy said, oddly on the brink of tears. Raven looked around at her emotions, lost. What was she supposed to do? She knew exactly what havoc her emotions could wreak. When Starfire and she had switched bodies, Starfire's lack of control had melted metal, exploded cars, bent lamp posts, and sent pieces of buildings raining down on unsuspecting people. If Raven, who had many more spells under her sleeve, let that kind of power out with an emotional outburst… She shook her head. She refused to cause that kind of destruction. She'd be no different than Trigon.
She was jerked from her thoughts by Timid tugging on her sleeve. "Yes, Timid?"
"I… Raven, you will always have control over us. We are you. We are only pieces of you," she said softly, and everyone in the circle paid rapt attention to the fearful entity, "Do you want to be trapped in your own head for the rest of your life?"
"No, of course I don't. But…"
"You're afraid," Timid answered for her and gave a watery smile, "Trust me, I know. But why?"
"…I don't know how to do this. I don't know how to… feel. And I really don't know how to feel enough to strengthen my powers," Raven said, and she could have sworn she heard a tiny gasp to her right.
"You're not alone, Raven," Timid said, "We know how to feel. That's what we do." Affection giggled softly and fixed her gaze directly on Beast Bug.
"And I know a certain someone who's been trying to help you feel for years," Affection said, and with a quick wink, she morphed Beast Boy from his ladybug form to his normal human appearance. All of Raven's emotions except Timid and Affection leaped up in surprise and stared at him as he scrambled to his feet. Raven herself, however, glared at him, and Rage wasted no time in tearing into the thin green changeling.
"You were spying on us?!" Rage bellowed, and Beast Boy cringed.
"Yes! I mean, no! I mean, I was brought here!" he said, holding his hands in front of him defensively.
"Why did you come here?" Rage barked, and Beast Boy glared at the emotion before turning his attention to the real person he came to help.
"Because we've all been worried, Rae!" he cried, and Raven's eyes softened (Rage reluctantly calmed down), even ignoring the dumb nickname that he liked to give her. "You've been out for almost six hours! And you haven't been out for this long since the Beast!"
"You're right, it is taking a while. But I'm fine, I'm all healed—"
"You're NOT fine! You're anything but fine if your powers aren't working and you can't wake up!" Beast Boy yelled, gripping his hair with his hands and tugging at it out of frustration. "You keep telling me that you're fine. You've been telling me that for months, ever since the end of the world, but I never believed you. And I knew I was right! You're not fine! Just please, Raven, please tell me what's going on!" He begged this last sentence as he flopped onto Happy's former cushion on his knees.
Raven surveyed the green infiltrator in front of her. He looked as upset as he sounded. His chest was heaving with angry and frightened breathing. His eyes looked about to flood. And even though Raven hated to see it, his normally happy face was lined with worry and… guilt? Raven sighed. Even though he could move mountains with his patented Face – that cute kitten with huge eyes and a sweet meow – she felt that this face in front of her right now would even be able to move the impassive monks of Azarath to pity.
"All right," she sighed again, and she could feel her emotions inching closer toward them as she spoke, "I've been having trouble since we defeated my father."
"Your powers came from him, right? So now that he's gone, your powers are weaker," he said, and her eyebrows raised slightly.
"Ooh, he's been paying attention!" Happy squealed, and Affection smiled at Beast Boy, who blushed.
"Anyways," Raven growled, "I've been having trouble sustaining my powers the way I used to when I need them in battle. And I don't know how to fix—"
"Yes, she does, but she refuses to do it!" Brave spoke up, sticking her tongue out at Raven, who closed her eyes in resignation.
"She has to use us! We have power too!" Happy explained.
"You've experienced it yourself, haven't you, Beast Boy?" Affection asked sweetly. Beast Boy nodded.
"Yeah, when we were fighting Trigon. We had to get angry in order to hit him. It was…"
"Quite the rush, wasn't it?" Pride remarked knowingly, "The most powerful you've ever felt in your life." Beast Boy considered for a second, then nodded. "That's how Raven could be if she used us. We'd be able to do more than Trigon's influence ever could because we are part of her, not just something he donated to her. But she refuses to listen to us." Affection broke away from the little pack of emotions and knelt in front of Beast Boy.
"Affection, what are you—" Raven started, but Affection cut her off gently.
"She thinks she will lose control and hurt you all – physically, mentally, emotionally, in any way. She thinks you will hate her if she does something wrong," Affection explained, "What do you think, Garfield?"
Beast Boy's eyebrows shot so high up that they almost left his face; Raven had never used his real name before, and here was Affection calling him by it. He hadn't even realized she'd known, but then he remembered that the Tower computer has all their data in it – including all of their real names – and Raven was often put in charge of cleaning out the files. Of course she would have seen his name.
"Garfield?" Affection repeated, "Are you all right?"
"Uh, yeah! Heh, I just…"
"Wasn't expecting me to know your real name?" the lavender emotion giggled, "I think it's adorable. It certainly fits your favorite feline form." Beast Boy smiled and turned into the kitten he was most known for. All of the emotions (except Pride and Rage, who were studiously ignoring his cuteness) cooed at how cute he was. But he hadn't lost sight of why he'd come in here. Beast Boy turned to the real Raven and looked her dead in the eyes. They stared at each other for a little while – kitten and gothic sorceress – before he morphed back into himself, his eyes never leaving hers.
"Raven, you are creepy," he said bluntly, and Timid flinched. The rest of them looked at him confusedly, but Affection smiled knowingly while Raven stared at him in hurt and confusion. "You're weird and you always stay in your room and you never talk to me unless you want to insult me and you drink way too much herbal tea and I think you really need to smile more."
"Thanks," Raven said bitterly and began to turn away, but Beast Boy didn't let her. He grabbed her face with both hands and smushed her cheeks in both of his hands so that her lips pursed like a goldfish, forcing her to look at him.
"But you're our friend just the way you are. Starfire would be crushed without you. Cyborg wouldn't have anyone to work on his car or gang up on me with. Robin literally went to hell and back for you, and he trusts you. And I…" Beast Boy smiled his big dopey grin at her and released her face so she could look at him seriously, "You're my best friend, Rae! We all need you to be okay, and we will help you work on controlling your powers. But we've always wanted you to feel comfortable, Rae. We want you to be happy, whatever that takes."
She studied him for a moment before whispering hoarsely, "I'm your best friend?"
"Yeah! I mean, yeah, we fight sometimes, but I think you're the best, Raven. And, well…" His big dopey grin changed into one more sheepish than she was used to on him, "You're the only one I've ever gone Beast for, you know."
"Beast Boy…" Raven said, her eyes fully softening into a vulnerable look he'd only seen once before – when a deceitful dragon had taken advantage of a lonely sorceress and Beast Boy had tried to comfort her – and he patted her head. She murmured, "I'm going to need some help."
"Anything!" Beast Boy said. She stood and grabbed his arm to lift him up off his knees. He stood and he had barely gotten his balance when she yanked him out of the gazebo and down a path that had mysteriously appeared behind the bush full of dark blue roses, and he followed as quickly as he could. Before they had fully exited the garden, she turned to her emotions and scrutinized them before saying in a tight voice, "I will trust you all this one time. Come on."
The Raven-alikes all beamed (except for Rage, who snarled happily) and scrambled to follow the two Titans. They all wound down a path until they reached a familiar portal that Beast Boy and Cyborg had exited the last time they had been in Nevermore, but Beast Boy gasped when he saw that it was completely dark and still.
"It's not working?" he asked, and she nodded.
"This portal is how I get out of here too. That's why I haven't woken up," she answered, and motioned to the ground in front of the portal. With a wave of her hand, eight plinths erupted from the ground, each colored like one of the emotions buzzing excitedly behind the two of them. Once all of the plinths had risen from the ground, the emotions fluttered over to the corresponding color. Lazy flopped down onto her plinth, and immediately it lit up. This, in turn, caused the portal glow ever so slightly.
"Hey! We got one already!" Beast Boy said, "Just all of the harder ones are left!" At this, Happy burst out laughing, and her plinth lit up and the portal began to swirl faintly. Beast Boy gave Raven a huge smile and smugly said, "I knew you thought I was funny."
"Oh, shut up," Rage snapped, and her plinth practically caught on fire. The portal began to hum as the lights inside of it began to writhe even more. Raven shot Intelligence a look, and Intelligence sighed in resignation.
"Fine, fine," she said, and the yellow platform began to glow with similar results to the last three. Half of the plinths glowed while the other half of them were still blank. Beast Boy scratched his head.
"This is harder than I thought," he said honestly, "but I know we can do this. If anyone is good with emotions, it's me!" Raven gave him a little smile, and Beast Boy was mildly stunned.
"How is it that you never give up?" Raven asked him seriously, and her emotions fixated on him, eager for his answer. He shrugged and looked at his feet, shoveling them into the ground.
"Well, I usually think about how hard you work, Raven," he said honestly, and Raven's eyebrows raised so high he could no longer see them beneath her hood, "Look, just because I want you to come and hang out with us more doesn't mean I don't get how hard you try. I mean, didn't Intelligence say you've been searching everywhere for a way to fix your problem? You always put others first – you became a hero to help people even though you knew you were going to hurt them!" At this, both Pride and Brave's platform's lit up, but he didn't stop talking. "You're really amazing, Raven."
Timid squeaked from her platform as both it and Raven's face lit up ever so slightly. Seven of the eight plinths had been activated, but Affection's remained blank. Beast Boy was at a loss as to what to do so he looked at the emotion for help.
"Come on, Garfield. You can do it. We've met once before, you know," Affection said sweetly, batting her eyelashes earnestly. Beast Boy considered her words as he looked back at the slightly blushing Raven beside him. She looked up at him nervously, Timid still being at the forefront of her mind, and Beast Boy remembered when he had last encountered Affection.
"You think you're alone, Raven," he said kindly, giving her his best and biggest smile, "but you're not." Raven remembered when last she heard those words as Beast Boy grabbed her around her neck in a sweet squeezy hug. She looked over his shoulder as she remembered Malchior's betrayal. The last time she had experienced a hug had been after the last battle with her father. But the first hug she'd given in so long had been to Beast Boy, after the last time she had truly let her emotions get the better of her. She had let her guard down only to have it be raised again, higher than before, right after that last hug ended.
But this time, it was Beast Boy hugging her, Beast Boy encouraging her, Beast Boy doing everything in his power to free both of them from the prison she had created for herself. He had worried for her, figured out what she had been hiding from everyone just based on him watching her, and came to help her without being asked. Why?
Because he cares, Raven, Affection's silky voice rang out in only her ears, and Raven couldn't help herself. She wrapped her arms around Beast Boy's back and squeezed him earnestly. Once she had reciprocated the hug, Affection's plinth glowed a warm purple color. The portal roared and the both could feel Nevermore return to its former life. They broke from the hug to see Nevermore reconstruct itself: Happy's air freshener world, Timid's winding labyrinth, Brave's training statues, and all of the other mini worlds her other emotions inhabited.
"Raven! You did it!" Beast Boy said, bouncing up and down happily and pumping an arm in the air victoriously.
"No," she said bluntly, killing his mood, "we did it." Beast Boy's mood resurrected itself and he tugged on her forearm as he headed for the portal, passing the other Ravens powering the portal.
"Come on, Rae! Let's go!" he cheered, tugging her along. Raven glanced back at her emotions, but she noticed all of them had disappeared except Affection. Affection smiled at Raven and waved after them, her eyes lingering on Beast Boy for longer than Raven liked, but the next instant Raven could not see anything.
~ commercial break ~
Blackness spit Beast Boy back into his chair outside of the mirror, and Beast Boy quickly looked around to gain his bearings.
Right, I'm in Raven's room on Tamaran. Not the Tower. Got it. Man, this is going to take some getting used to. Beast Boy's focus then turned onto the girl who was no longer hovering over her bed. Hoping for the best, he pressed the alert button on his communicator to tell the Titans to come to his location and tentatively poked her shoulder.
"Raven?" he whispered, "Are you there? Can you… wake up?"
"…Thank you, Beast Boy," Raven murmured and her eyes opened slightly. Beast Boy grinned down at her.
"How do you feel?"
"I'm fine, Beast Boy. I told you I was already healed." Beast Boy raised one eyebrow slyly and gave her a silly grin.
"No, I mean… how do you feel?" he asked meaningfully and she rolled her eyes.
"One step at a time, okay?" she said, and the other three Titans burst into the room to check on their friend. Starfire flew over to Raven and wrapped her in a hug.
"Raven, you are unharmed and no longer floating in your sleep! Glorious!" Starfire squealed, hugging Raven gently and sitting on the bed next to her.
"Star, go easy on her, she just got over a concussion!" Cyborg warned with a smile. He pinched Raven's cheek and wiggled it a little bit, and if looks could kill, Cyborg would be dead a few times over. Robin just crossed his arms over his chest and gave her a little grin, which she returned.
"You feeling okay?" he asked.
"Much better."
"Got everything resolved?" he asked. Raven scrutinized her leader briefly and wondered how much the others knew about her new situation. She would tell them, she knew, but not yet. She wanted to go slowly in this new territory (even Beast Boy knowing about it made Timid a little antsy, but Happy would also be a little more active) and knew Robin would understand. She could tell.
"For now," she confirmed, and the Titans all converged onto her bed (much to her dismay) and spent the next few hours talking about all the things Starfire and her brother had discussed and what Cyborg had told Robin. Somehow Beast Boy could tell that Raven didn't want to talk about what happened in her mind, so he didn't mention it, for which Raven was very grateful.
See? Having fun with your friends is not so bad. Nothing is exploding! Happy commented in Raven's head.
Yes, it seems as though without Trigon's influence we have a larger capacity to express ourselves. We can do a bit more without causing any accidental damage, Intelligence commented.
Raven knew her emotions were right, that she had a little more room to stretch her feelings than before. But those uncharted waters of emotion still scared her, and she looked out the window at the purple-tinted sky. She was jolted back to the moment by the feeling of Beast Boy's cheek pressing against her own.
"Soooooo, Raven," he said, "knock knock!" The other Titans looked at them anxiously, waiting for Beast Boy to be launched out of the window.
Oh, for the love of Azar, Rage grumbled.
Hush, you, he's trying to make her happy! Affection admonished, Come on, Raven. Humor him. Meet him halfway. You can do it.
Raven gave him a little smile – which absolutely stunned the other Titans – and said, "Who's there?"