For love or revenge

Chapter 3

*Bella*

All I know right now, is that what I am feeling is utterly insane. What I am thinking shouldn't ever exist my mind. I can't be falling in love with Edward Cullen.

I hang my feet over the edge of the bed and glance over at the picture of my parents I keep on my night stand.

Vivid images of the that horrifying night invade my mind - those eyes, the red hair, blood dripping from her mouth.

It doesn't matter if Edward did or did not kill my parents. He is one of them. How can I hate someone so much and have feelings for him all at the same time? It isn't possible!

I look at the clock by my bed. It's still early. The room is silent, and the silence makes me think. I hate thinking at times. When I think, my mind takes me to everything I wish I wouldn't think about.

I drag my way to the window and pull the curtains open. It's gray and rainy out. A typical Forks day.

If Edward was so horrible, then why did he stay with me last night? Could he possibly be good? Could he possibly be different from the other bloodsuckers? Could…? Wait. What am I thinking? No way, he is a monster. He said so himself.

Ok, now I am definitely going insane. I pull on a pair of jeans and a shirt. I go to the mirror.

Ok, I have to do something. Maybe if I just talk to him. I have so many questions.

Lucy drives me to school. Apparently I have to be dropped off like a kindergardener now. She pulls up in front of the school. I am about to bolt out the door when she stops me.

"I just want you to talk me. If there is something on your mind, anything bothering you, I'm here," She says softly.

"Ok," I say as I jump out of the car. I'm not even half way to the front door when Jessica bombards me.

"So have you seen the new students?" she asks.

"I just got here, so...no," I say as I walk to my locker.

"Well, they seem so strange, but they are total hotties!" Jessica grins.

"Really?" I reply.

"Yeah! Everyone is talking about them. Apparently they moved here from Alaska or something."

I'm not really listening to anything Jessica is saying. I look up and see a group of students walking through the door.

"Oh my god! That's them," Jessica squeals.

I am mesmerized by them. It's like I'm watching a movie in slow motion. The petite dark-haired girl glances at me and smiles.

Jessica goes on a tangent naming off each one. "Ok, so the blond girl is Rosalie and the big guy with her is Emmett. The dark-haired girl is Alice and the one with her, the one with that funny look on his face, that's Jasper, and then…there is…" Jessica trails off as the last one of the group walks in.

"Edward," I whisper.

"Edward," Jessica says right after me.

Edward's eyes meet mine as he walks past. He smiles at me - one of those half smiles that makes me melt. I nearly collapse right there in the middle of the hallway.

Edward Cullen? Here? In my high school? No! no! No! Panic is starting to set in and I feel like I can't breathe.

"Isn't he hot? Too bad none of the girls here are good enough for him," Jessica says.

"Yeah," I say, finally catching my breath.

"Are you ok?" she asks me.

"Yeah, I'm...great."

The bell rings and everyone starts scattering like flies being swatted at.

My mind is racing. Edward, what is he doing here? Why is here? So many unanswered questions. I feel dizzy.

I walk into English, my first class, and hurry to my seat. I don't even know if I can even concentrate. I really don't know what I am feeling right now. Should I feel happy that he is here, near me, and I am able to look into those amazing eyes, or am I angry? Angry at the fact that he is a bloodsucking monster and he is attending my school. Why? WHY? WHY? WHY?

Does he want to turn the school into his personal buffet where he can feed on anyone at any time?

I'm itching just to dart out of this classroom. I don't want to be here right now. I fear what will happen. None of my classmates know what Edward Cullen is capable of. They think vampires are mythical beings that someone just made up in a story to scare people.

I'm deep in thought when I look up and our eyes meet again. I groan internally. Great...he's in my class! Did he do this on purpose so he could keep an eye on me? Damn it! So many unanswered questions.

He hands the teacher his schedule and he walks to the only empty seat which happens to be right next to me. This day keeps getting better and better.

"Hello," he says softly.

"Hey," I reply.

Is he reading my thoughts right now? I try to focus on the teacher, but I catch myself glancing over at him.

Everyone around us is whispering. The teacher informs us we will be working on a project and the person setting next to us will be our partner.

"Great," I whisper as the teacher hands out the assignment.

"You don't want to be my partner?" Edward asks.

"Do I have a choice? What are you doing here?" I ask, making sure he can feel my irritation.

"Going to school," he whispers back.

"Since when do….you go to school?" I ask.

"Since now. Does it bother you that I'm here?"

Extremely is what I want to say. It bothers me because he makes me feel the way I do, and also the fact that he is a vampire.

"No," I lie. I think he senses that I'm not being truthful. He is reading my thoughts. I know he is because he laughs. Every now and then he glances at me and smiles and then goes back to the assignment.

Those eyes, those beautiful eyes, I want to get lost in them. And his mouth, the way it curves up into that perfect smile… What am I doing? I can't be thinking like this! He is a vampire and I'm human. I wish I could read his thoughts. I wish I could just figure out what he is thinking. He is probably sitting here laughing at how pathetic I sound right now. I know he can hear everything going through my mind. I wish there was a way I could turn my thoughts off from him.

"I love your thoughts," he whispers, giving me that sexy smile.

"Thanks, but could you please stay out of them?" I say as I tried to concentrate on the assignment.

"How can I stay out of them when your thoughts are blaring over everyone else? Besides, you have a habit of rambling in your head." He smiles.

Is he making fun of me? "Are you making fun of me?" I ask.

He laughs, "No, I think it's kind of cute."

Cute? Cute is not a word a vampire would use, is it?

"Thanks," I say softly. I look down, embarrassed.

*Edward*

I love the way her cheeks turn red when she's embarrassed. They looked so warm. I want to reach over and touch them, feel the warmth of her skin. I try concentrating on the assignment. How can I concentrate when her smell is so inviting, so intoxicating, and her beautiful mouth, her lips, they are calling out to me. I need to control myself. Why is it so hard to control myself around her? Could I possibly be falling in love with her? Is that why I feel the need to protect her? Is that why I am drawn to her?

I can't get close to her like this. I can't risk hurting her. It took all of the strength I had to keep myself from kissing her that night in the woods, and it's taking all of my strength not to kiss her now.

"So how are we going to do this?" She asks.

I look at her confused. "Do what?"

"The project," she says holding up the assignment and waving it around in the air.

"Right."

The bell rings, signaling the next class. Bella darts to the door.

"Wait!" I call out, stopping her in the middle of the hall. Everyone is staring.

"What?" she says, clearly irritated.

I want to laugh at how cute she looks, but I don't want to anger her any further. "How about you come over to my place tonight, and we can work on the assignment together."

She looks down. Her thoughts are screaming yes, but deep down she is saying no.

"If that's ok, and if your aunt will let you," I say softly.

"Well, how about this: my place, 7 o'clock. I would feel much safer at my place."

"Okay." 7 o'clock, her house - this should be interesting.

*Bella*

Math class, okay, no sign of him. Good! I sit down in my usual seat and lay my bag down on the floor next to my desk. I look up and there he is once again. I'm beginning to think he planned this. How did he know my exact schedule?

He hands the teacher his schedule and the teacher motions for him to take a seat. What a coincidence. It just so happens to be right next to me. Just my luck.

I glance over at him and semi-smile. He turns to look at me. His stare is making me uncomfortable. I fidget in my seat trying not to stare back. I have to ignore him, but I'm finding it very difficult to ignore those eyes.

He is torturing me. He is in every class I've been in so far and he has been staring at me, winking, and smiling at me all morning! I just want to scream!

I'm so distracted and nervous that I knock my things on the floor. He smiles and laughs at me, and then he reaches down to pick up my pencil and book off the floor. Everyone is staring at us. He places them back on my desk.

"You really should pay attention to what you're doing," he whispers.

"Miss Swan, is there a problem?" the teacher asks.

"No, sir," I say as I clutch my pencil and glare at Edward. He was purposely doing this.

"Well then, maybe you can answer the question that's on the board," the teacher says.

I wasn't even paying a bit of attention. I am so nervous, I fumble through the book looking for the answer, and then my pencil falls to floor again. I'm looking all over for it.

Edward raises his hand. "I can answer the question," he says.

"Um, no. I can answer it, thank you very much," I say, glaring at him.

Everyone in the classroom is staring at us once again.

"Maybe if you weren't so disorganized you could answer it," he whispers.

"Is there something going on I should know about?" the teacher asks, arms crossed.

"No," I say as I sit back up in my seat.
Everyone is snickering and whispering. I hate him! He is making my life so miserable right now.

"I suggest you get your act together, Miss Swan, and pay attention." The teacher gives me a stern look and goes back to his lesson.

If I had something hard and heavy right now, I would throw it at Edward Cullen and hopefully knock him out. Oh better yet, I'd like to find a sharp stake I can stab right into his heart.

There is that smirk again.

"Did you hear that one?" I whisper.

"That won't work on us," he whispers back.

"Damn."

"Besides, you're so clumsy you would probably miss." He chuckles lightly.

Oh, he has comebacks. I furiously tap my pencil on the desk. He has been getting on my nerves in every class - making comments just to irritate me. Yet I find myself glancing at him every few seconds. When I do, he winks and smiles at me.

There's that wink again! Ugh! I've had it! "Seriously, stop winking at me," I whisper as I try to concentrate on the problem on the board.

"I only wink at pretty girls," he says with that sexy smile of his.

"Well stop. It's very annoying," I whisper back.

"Mike Newton has a thing for you," he whispers with a laugh.

I raise an eyebrow. "You jealous?"

"I don't know. It all depends on your answer to the question he is going to ask you."

Okay, someone kill me now. Please kill me now! Edward Cullen is driving me insane!

"In a good way or bad way?" he whispers.

"Seriously, stop talking to me!" I yell.

Everyone's head turns to stare at me.

"Miss Swan, again, is there something you need to tell the class?" the teacher asks.

Stupid vampire! "No," I say as I slump down in my seat.

Suddenly an idea hits me like a ton of bricks. I know exactly what to do to drive Edward Cullen mad! I smile, liking my plan. I just have to figure out a way to keep it from Edward without him reading it from my thoughts. Oh this is going to be so much fun!

When class ends I hurry down the hall toward Mike Newton."Hey Mike," I call out with a smile. I glance over my shoulder to see if Edward is watching me, and indeed he is. He looks like a god leaning against the lockers.

"Hey, Bella, what's happening?" Mike asks.

"I just thought we could walk to lunch together."

Mike looks surprised. "Sure, there was something I was meaning to ask you anyways," he says.

I see Edward's glare out of the corner of my eye. I knew he would be reading our thoughts. "What's up?" I ask.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted...um...if you would like to go to...uh...the dance with me?" He stammered.

School dances are not really my thing, and I completely forgot about it.

"That's this weekend?" I ask.

"Yeah," he says with hope in his voice.

"Sure, I'll go with you."

Mike's face is full of surprise and happiness. "Awesome!" he says.

"I'll catch up with you in a few. I need to get something out of my locker" I say as I turn to walk back down the hall.

Just before I reach my locker I am pulled into an empty classroom by strong, cold hands.

"What are you doing?" I ask.

"This," Edward says as he pulls me to his body and kisses me.

*Edward*

Her lips are so warm and soft. I can feel her blood running through her veins. She smells so sweet.

I need her.

I want her.

This feeling of...jealousy. I don't like it. It drove me crazy the way Mike was thinking about her.

She suddenly pulls away.

"We..cant do this," she murmurs.

"Can't do what? Feel this way? You're my every thought," I say as I brush her hair from her eyes.

I touch her cheeks, relishing the red blush coloring them - so warm, so soft. She looks down. She is confused. I've never felt like this before. I've never wanted anyone like this before.

"What are you confused about?" I ask as I hold her face, waiting for an answer.

"I...I cant do this," she pulls away from me and darts out of the classroom.

*Bella*

I'm so confused right now. I can't even think straight. I lean against my locker and bang my head against it.

"Mom what do I do?" I whisper. My mom would know what to do. If she doesn't know, then my dad would definitely step in. "Okay, if you can't tell me, then maybe dad can?"

I look over and see a petite dark-haired girl staring at me.

"Are you ok?" she asks.

"Great."

" I'm Alice," she says softly.

I looked up at her. "Alice Cullen?"

"Yes. It looks like you need someone to talk to."

Another Cullen.

Another Cullen to drive me insane and make me confused. She seems different though - nothing like Edward.

"I do," I reply.

"Well, I'm the girl to talk to," she says with a smile.

Should I talk to her or just walk away and ignore her and every Cullen here?

"Thanks, but I think I'm okay," I say as I walk down the hall toward the cafeteria.

I'm hoping this day will end soon so I can go to my room to sit and sulk in my misery. I need to talk to Jake. Jake makes everything better. I make a note to see Jake after school and another note not to mention to him that I could possibly be falling in love with a vampire.