I just want to say thank you to all my loyal readers! Thanks for being there and making feel like my writing is worth it! Thanks soo much helen! (red20881) my ever so lovable beta of this story! you rock I couldnt of done it without you! your awesome!

And on with the show! Enjoy!

Chapter 9

*Bella*

I come to and my face is hurting. I wince in pain as I try to touch my cheek. I look over and see Lucy's lifeless body sprawled across the floor. The red head is standing over her. She turns and licks her lips clean. Suddenly panic sets in.

"Well, look who's up."

I follow the voice to the other side of the room. Fear courses through me.

"Just change her already," the red head demands.

"Victoria," the blond man says. I know if they are distracted long enough maybe I can make a run for it. I jump up and dart towards the door, but the blond vampire grabs me and throws me hard onto the couch. He holds me down, pressing hard on my chest. I yell in fear and pain.

"Going somewhere?" he asks.

"Edward will be here any second," I say.

He laughs and stands over me. "I can't wait to taste your blood." He trails a finger down my neck. Suddenly I hear the door burst open and I jump. I look over and see Edward coming through the door.

"Get away from her," he growls through clenched teeth. The blond vamp smiles and then grabs my wrist.

"Come and get her."

"You don't want her," Edward hisses.

I'm not sure what he's doing. I keep my eyes locked with his.

"Why wouldn't I want her? I bet you haven't even tasted her yet. And why is that? Oh, right, you're one of those Cullens. You don't eat humans," the blond vampire emphasizes.

"Let her go, James. This is between you and me not her," Edward says.

"She is mine," James growls. He grabs me hard by the arm and pulls me up off the couch.

"Edward," I say through the pain.

"I love it when humans are so weak," James snarls as he kisses my wrist.

"Don't touch her!" Edward says lunging towards James.

Suddenly James bites down hard on my wrist. Edward shoves James and he flies across the room and hits the back wall hard with a thud. I plop down on the couch. A searing pain is burning my wrist. My arm is on fire. It's like someone is laying hot coals on my skin. The pain is spreading up my arm. I scream and violently shake on the couch.

"Edward!" I want the burning to stop. I can't see what's going on around me. The searing pain is making me blind to my surroundings. Voices suddenly become faint. I can vaguely see Alice holding my arms down.

"Carlisle!" she yells.

It's like all the voices are far away.

"Maaake…iiit…stooop," I say through gritted teeth, wishing the burning would go away. I glance over and see Carlisle at my side. He's trying to soothe me.

"Gahhhh!" I yell as the pain becomes more intense.

"She is changing," I hear Carlisle say. I don't know how long I've been laying here withering in pain. It seems like only seconds or maybe minutes.

Where is Edward? I need Edward! The pain...make it stop, someone, please? I want to yell, but I can't.

"Edward you have to stop the change," I faintly hear Carlisle say. Just then I feel Edward's cold lips on my wrist. The pain is slowly fading and so is my vision. My life flashes before my eyes.

Am I…dying? I feel suddenly relaxed. Then everything turns to black.

*X*

I open my eyes to a blinding white light. A faint beeping is echoing in my ears. Where am I? My vision is becoming clearer. I look over and see Jacob sitting in a chair sound asleep. What is he doing here? More importantly, where am I? I groan, tired and exhausted. Jacob wakes and jumps up, coming to my side.

"Bella, you're awake," he whispers as he brushes my hair from my eyes.

"Where am I?" I ask with a scratchy voice.

"Hospital," he replies.

"What happened?" I ask, still a little confused and groggy.

Before he even has a chance to say anything, there is a knock on the door. We both look up and see Edward in the doorway.

"That's my cue to exit," Jake says as he gets up. He stands in front of Edward and gives him a stern look.

"I'm watching you," Jake warns him.

"I won't hurt her," Edward whispers.

"Yeah, right, if it wasn't for the fact we are in a public place, I would have a few choice words for you," he warns.

"Stop," I whisper. Both Edward and Jacob look over at me.

Jacob smiles and then turns to Edward. "You've been warned." He then turns and walks out of the room.

Edward stands there at the door just staring at me. I swallow hard, trying to moisten my dry throat. This awkward silence between us is killing me. I'm waiting for him to say something, anything. I guess I have to break the silence.

"What happened?" I ask.

He slowly makes his way to my bedside. I can tell something is killing him. There's something he needs to say and he just can't find the words to say it.

As I look at him, waiting, things slowly come back to me.

"Bella…" The way he says my name is different. There is a familiar tone in his voice. I start to panic.

"Just say it," I whisper.

"I have to leave."

My heart sinks when he says the words.

"What? No! You can't!" Why is he doing this to me? Why? He wants to leave? No! He can't! I won't let it happen. I can't let it happen.

He leans over and kisses the top of my head.

I turn away.

"Bella, it's better this way. It's better that you live your life as normal as possible. It will be like I never existed."

The words are cutting me. Each word is like a slice from a sharp razor to my heart. How can I pretend like he never existed? Tears are running down my face.

"I…made a decision," I say.

He looks at me curiously. "About what?" he asks.

"I choose love. I choose you, Edward. So, please, don't do this to me. Please don't leave me now."

He touches my cheek. His words are lies. He can't be sitting here telling me this.

"I have to go" he leans in and softly kisses me on my lips. Before I even have a chance to say anything, he's gone.

*X*

When I'm finally released from the hospital, it hits me like a ton of bricks. My house is lonely without Lucy. Jacob offered to stay with me, but I don't want him babysitting me. I need to be alone. I need time to think.

I curl up on the couch not knowing what to do. The phone has been ringing off the hook. I just ignore it. The answering machine has so many messages on it that no one could possibly leave any more. I try to listen to all of them but I can't bear hearing one more person say, "I'm sorry for your loss."

I pick up the newspaper. Lucy's picture is on the front page. In big bold letters, the headline reads, LOCAL WOMAN KILLED IN BAZAAR ANIMAL ATTACK.

If they only knew.

I throw the paper down and am startled by a knock on the door. I don't want to answer. I just wish whoever it is will go away. I close my eyes ignoring the knocking, but it persists.

"Go away!" I yell.

"Bella?" The soft voice says through the door.

Alice?

I slowly get up and answer the door. How could Alice be here? I thought all of the Cullens had left? Or was it just Edward?

I open the door and let Alice in. She steps inside and looks around. She flips all the lights on. I hadn't realized I'd been sitting in the dark. I must have been sitting there for a while. I squint my eyes from the brightness.

"You need to talk to Edward," she says.

I look down at my feet. How can I talk to him? He's leaving and there's no changing his mind. Tears are threatening to pour out of my eyes.

"Why should I? He's leaving," I say softly.

"I'm trying to keep him from leaving. I hate seeing my brother like this. I hate seeing him miserable, and I hate seeing you miserable. I don't want him to leave," she replies.

I don't want him to leave either. The phone rings suddenly, and I just let it ring.

"Are you going to get that?" Alice asks.

"No," I say as I make my way back to the couch.

The phone keeps ringing.

"It's Jacob," Alice says.

"So," I say as the answering machine kicks in once again. Wow, I guess it did have room for some more messages.

"Bella, it's Jake. I…just wanted to check up on you. Call me, please?" His voice echoes through the speakers of the answering machine.

"If you let Edward leave, Jacob Black wins. You will get your normal life. I understand Edward's point of view, but he loves you," Alice persists.

Tears are running from my eyes.

"I don't want to talk about this, Alice." I quickly head up the stairs to my room. Alice watches me. I slam the door hoping Alice got the point. I curl up in my bed and cry.

I don't know how long I'm lying there before I roll over and see a presence in the room. I sit up and wipe my eyes.

"How long have you been standing there?" I ask.

"A while," Edward says softly.

"I thought you were leaving," I say.

"I can't leave," he whispers as he sits down on the edge of my bed.

"You can't?" I say, wiping my tears from my eyes.

"No. I can't leave you. I can't bear to be away from you. It scares me more and more knowing that I might lose control with you, but I'm willing to take that risk."

I closed my eyes taking in his words. He touches my cheek softly. I shiver from his cold touch and look at him. He looks into my eyes and I can see desire and need. He is trying so hard not to give in to temptation. I want him to give in. I know he wants to feed his desire. He leans in and starts to brush his cold lips across mine.

"I don't want to hurt you," he whispers on my lips.

"You won't. I trust you," I murmur.

*Edward*

I feel if I don't pull away soon I will lose control. I want her. I want her more than anything. But is it worth the risk? What if I lose control? What if I end up feeding off her and killing her? Something ignites from our kiss, and I want to feed my desire to touch her, to feel her warm skin against my cold skin. The blood pulsing through my veins is driving me mad. I can't stop myself. I need her. I want to taste every square inch of her.

I'm so intoxicated by her I don't realize she's climbing onto my lap. I can feel the fire inside of me flaring. I place my hand on her heart feeling it beat. I kiss her face. I like the way her hair feels through my fingers. I move her hair revealing her beautiful neck. She is nervous. I can feel it.

She touches my face with her warm fingertips. The monster is me is rearing his ugly head. Everything inside of me is telling me to scream, "Stop! Stop!", but I push the thought out of my mind, feeling her warm fingertips across my cold skin.

Bella looks me deep in the eyes. It's as if she's asking me for permission to go further.

Should I grant her permission? I'm going crazy inside. Should I go where I shouldn't? Should I grant myself this one moment of true happiness? It's now or never.

I brush my lips across hers, granting her permission.