August 13, Entry #38 of Gabriel Agreste's Secret Journal

I think it's finally time I gave Nathalie a raise.

It was the afternoon, as I was researching ways to make one's hair more evil villiany, when Nathalie barged into my office.

"Gabriel, we need to talk," Nathalie said.

"Yes?" I replied, quickly running a hand through my hair to make it appear taller.

Nathalie did not even bat an eye.

"What is going on? Did you not approve my idea for a cat clothing line? Because the cat top hat is sure to be a bestseller."

Nathalie heaved a sigh. "It's not approved Gabriel. I told you, the cat swimsuits were too much. But that is not what I needed to talk about."

"Oh, is it about the cheese-scented cologne I wanted you to look into? Or perhaps the life-size death star I wanted you to buy?"

"Why do I even work here anymore?" Nathalie grumbled. "I should just start my own fashion company."

"Snape!" I yelled, clutching my chest. "How could you betray me!"

Nathalie leveled a glare at me. "Fairly certain that's in my job description Voldemort."

"Fair enough. Now, what did you want to speak to me about?"

"These." Nathalie stated, slamming a bunch of crumpled-up papers onto Gabriel's desk. "The janitor found them when he was cleaning out your office trash can, and showed them to me because he worried you had gone off the deep end."

"Please. I am perfectly sane," I stated, moving the empty bakery boxes that had held two dozen chocolate croissants this morning beneath my desk with my foot to hide them. Based on Nathalie's narrowed gaze, I do not think I pulled it off.

"Then explain to me why you are trying to write to Chat Noir and invite him over for dinner."

"For Adrien, of course. I thought it best that I finally get introduced to my son's boyfriend."

Nathalie looked at me, her mouth turning down. "You're kidding."

"I most definitely am not!"

"Gabriel," Nathalie said, very slowly, and I knew I was in trouble. She only used that tone when I had royally made a mistake. Like the time I thought another model was Adrien and only realized I had left my son behind in Milan when I got back to the mansion and Nathalie asked me who the person standing beside me was. Or when I wanted to look down on everyone so I ordered a giant black horse to ride around on everywhere and it pooped all over the Agreste Fashions Building. The entire place had to be fumigated, and our fall line was delayed two weeks because of it.

"Gabriel, Adrien is not dating Chat Noir. He is dating Marinette Dupain-Cheng."

I squinted my eyes at her. "Who?"

Nathalie sighed. "The intern.

"WHAT?" I shouted.

"Honestly, how could you not know?"

"Nathalie, there is no way this can be true."

I was worried Nathalie was going to throw her tablet at me. Instead, she calmly said, "Gabriel, just think over the past couple months, and then see if you can tell me that Adrien and Marinette aren't dating."

I thought.

"Oh," I said. "Well, that really throws the whole adopting-the-intern plan out the window."

"Seriously Gabriel? That's the only response you can think of to say."

"Of course not! I'm also thinking that Adrien better not mess up this relationship or I'll never be able to eat chocolate croissants again, which would be a truly terrifying prospect."

Nathalie just shook her head and walked out of my office, muttering "I don't get paid enough for this."

Perhaps it's finally time I filled out the paperwork to give Nathalie a raise. Right after I google 'How to hide plans for a villain-inspired hair salon built in the basement of my mansion so that the janitor looking through my trash can't find it and report it back to my assistant.'