Caterina Valentine: My Life.

FlorMorada

I do NOT own Victorious, or any songs that may be used.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:

"Look, it's a FlorMorada update! Before eight months!"

"Poke it! Does it move?"

"Don't touch it! It may cease to ever again exist!"

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NOTE:

" Real life ", " 'Cat speaking' ", " Cat's flashback/past happenings ".

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Chapter Five

Lilith I.

…

/Beck./

I hear the slap of a hand being slammed down on a table and immediately open my eyes; I'm met with the sight of my Math teacher, Mr. Anderson. Slowly realising I'm in class, I start to sit up…everyone in the room's looking at me.

I look up at my teacher - I think he's told me to pay attention or something. My head moves back and forth in an involuntary nod. My teacher sighs, and continues with the lesson. I literally stare past the math equation and right through the whiteboard; I look attentive but I'm not half concentrating.

I'm so tired. …

I don't know how I even made it into school this morning. By the time we'd finished listening to Cat's tape, it was almost four in the morning. I don't even know what had happened; I knew we'd all heard up to the end, but when we fell asleep, or woke up, or came to school, is seriously all a blur. I can hardly manage to remember what Cat's tape had even been about…

Oh, right. Her mom.

How her mom had left her and her sister when she was a kid.

I honestly had no idea Ms O'Brian is, or at least was, that type of person… I didn't even know that Cat's mom had left - she never told us! I remember in, fifth grade, not seeing her mom as much, seeing her sister more, but I'd thought not much of it. Sometime around then, her and Jade would be together a lot too; they came to school together and went home together, like they lived together. I'm sure they didn't - one of them would have told me, they'd have had to. But it means that Cat was left in the hands of just…

Lilith.

That couldn't have been good.

I hear the five loud rings of the bell; class is obviously over. I get up from my chair.

Peoples' gazes are still on me. Honestly, it really isn't even odd anymore. None of us can ever go through a day without being stared at now…being 'The Kids With The Dead Best Friend'.

I grab my bag from under the desk and it feels unusually heavy - God, I must be weak with tiredness. I swing it over my shoulder and begin to walk out the class, but as I turn to the left, I feel my arm being pulled in the opposite.

I turn to see Robbie stood by me. He raises his eyebrows.

"Beck…are you forgetting something?"

Other than when I fell asleep, when I woke up, and how I'm even managing to stand upright having had a mere four hours sleep, "No. Not really," I reply.

Robbie sighs, grabbing my arm again, dragging me towards…the janitor's closet? I ask him why on Earth we're going there.

Turns out that this morning in the RV, we'd all agreed to meet there to listen to another tape.

…I don't even remember.

We walk into the small room and as Robbie pushes the door open, I see that Tori and André are sat down, already there. Like Robbie, their brains are functioning enough to have remembered to meet here, obviously. I pull out a chair from behind me, slinging the bag off my shoulder, and despite my exhaustion, I realise something.

"Guys…how are we going to listen to another tape if we don't have the cassette player? Or…the actual tapes?"

Tori sighs, coming over to my bag, and unzips it, pulling out said items.

So, that's why it felt so heavy.

"You packed all these this morning, remember?"

…No, I really don't.

I stare at the contents in Tori's hands, waiting for the tapes to magically start playing, and André must have realised I can hardly even keep my eyes open, so substitutes and put the next tape in himself, for me.

I think I remember a little.

We'd been too tired to listen to another tape in the am, so all arranged to listen to another one here at school, and are all about to; me, Robbie, Tori, André…

Wait.

"Where's Jade?"

Tori looks up at me, almost expressionless, before walking over to where she'd been stood before. "Jade…sick."

Boy, I haven't heard that excuse for a while. Not.

"She was fine yesterday," I reply.

"Yeah, well, she's not at school today, alright? She went home after we left your RV this morning."

So…she won't be here to hear the third story. I stare at Tori, waiting for her to continue. I know the 'frenemies' probably don't share a thing with each other, but maybe Tori's…'womanly instincts' could explain Jade's 'sickness' to me.

Okay, she's just staring at me…

Maybe not.

Just like, I'm guessing, back in Math, I feel my eyelids begin to droop again, and I'm so tired, I honestly don't care - I'm gonna let them droop. But as soon as the whir commences, like lightning, I'm jolted awake. Awoken by the sound of Cat.

My dear redhead, Cat…

The tape starts.

…

'Okay. Tres, third story. Tape two, side 'V'.

Lilith. My older sister.

…Cunt.

Honestly, as lots of you guys probably know, I've never thought highly of her. Yeah, I used to put up with her, but she didn't like me - whether it was the different dads thing or just her personality, I don't know.

But I know she's never liked me.

And I was fine with that…kind of. Of course, I guess I would have preferred to have her liking me. But I could deal with it.

What I couldn't deal with was the other things she caused me.

The things she did, the bad things, I'm not mad about them because they were bad. I'm mad because they've…they have affected me so much that events still go through my mind today.

I don't know, maybe being thrown into having to look after me, Lilith made me grow up just as much as she was forced to. But some of the things she exposed me to, caused for me, were too much.

I couldn't and still cannot deal with them. So I guess what I'm saying is that I'm not all that mad at you, Lilith.

I'm mad and what you caused for me.

If they didn't happen in my life, maybe I'd be happy.'

…

I pick up the dark pair of sunglasses, and put them on my face. I turn to face the mirror.

They look awesome.

The rims are thick, black with two tiny diamantés each side of them, and the lenses are really dark. Admiring myself, I decide I look like a biker girl.

Sort of like Lilith…if she had a bike.

I kind of like Lilith now.

…

'I think my sister realised that when my mom really was gone, she had to pick up her act, or both her and I would be in trouble.

That didn't mean she then was nice to me - still far from it, honestly; the different dads thing just was and is an unadjustable barrier. But she stopped calling me by my full name. Turns out her mouth was able to utter the word 'Cat'. She wasn't unpleasant towards me - at least not unnecessarily. She'd smile sometimes, and even laugh with me. And she did start acting a little more…'sisterly'. Giving advice and such.

It was nice, I guess. I appreciated it.

Just, some of her teachings, I'd rather have never been taught.'

…

"I really love these…"

"They suit you, kid."

I turn around. I realise Chrome's talking to me.

"Chris Romane"- Lilith's boyfriend.

I like Chrome.

I don't get why he'd want to be with a girl as…as 'Lilith' as my sister, but unlike some of her other friends, he actually is nice. He talks to me like he's happy I'm actually there; he doesn't treat me like an eight year old just because I'm the height of one; he doesn't…kiss Lilith in from of me, which is…

Ew.

And he's got a cool, dark blue fringe too. With golden highlights.

I take the glasses off my face. "I wish I could buy them." I twirl the handles, closed, around my index fingers.

Chrome looks more closely at them. "How much are they?"

"Fifty-seven dollars."

I see Lilith's reflection in the mirror, walking up behind me. She takes a glance at the glasses and nods her head at them. "Nice."

I sigh. "Yeah, I know."

…

'I also knew that Lilith would have definitely had forty-seven dollars to spare. I knew, because I'd seen her bank details; my dad used to send my mom a thousand dollars every few months, and my mom had given my sister her account on her…depart-

On her abandonment.

I remember, Lilith used to buy a hundred-dollar combat boots and studded jackets, like, every other week. A pair of sunglasses wouldn't have done a fraction of wealth damage. But I thought she would say no, if I asked her for them.

And',

…

"No way am I paying sixty dollars for a kid's pair of shades.",

…

'I was right.

But then she said something surprising.'

…

"You want them, though?"

…

'And if course I had. I nodded.'

…

"Okay. Rip off the tag, push 'em into your back pack and look, you've got them.

…

'And hence began the most, well, second (of many) life changing decisions of my life.'

…

I look up at Lilith. She looks dead serious. "You mean…" I frown, confused. "'…Steal them?"

She raises a studded eyebrow in confirmation. "Sure." She laughs. "If it saves your conscience, you can change the name."

I turn to Chrome. He seems to be agreeing with my sister. "Plus, you're what, ten?"

"Soon eleven," I add.

"Well, still. What if you didn't even know what stealing was? What if you thought it was the same as…borrowing?"

Makes sense. "But-"

"Cat, do you want the damn glasses or not?"

I close my eyes at my sister's harsh tone.

But…steal? Sunglasses?

A hundred different reasons flash through my mind as to why this is so wrong.

I know stealing isn't right. André'd describe it as a 'sin'. I shouldn't steal. What if someone stole from me; how'd I like it?

But Lilith, my…my sister, she's said it's fine. And Chrome's agreed. And Chrome's smart.

I stare at the glasses, tracing a finger across the rim.

I do like them. Love them.

And Lilith did say it was alright.

"God, Cat, if you want the shades-"

But before she's even had a chance to finish her sentence, the price sticker's peeled off, security label ripped away. I turn to both sides. No one's there. I could leave, and everything would fine.

So I do.

I push the glasses down into my pocket, before running out from the store, a grinning Chrome and almost proud looking Lilith sprinting close behind me.

…

A/N:

Not the end of Lilith's tape! Nowhere near.

Okay, guys. Take a read o s.

I went on holiday for five days and had no wi-fi, and I also forgot my phone charger – my phone being where I write all my stories. But luckily, I had a notebook with me, so I went old school and wrote it all there.

My Lilith chapter turned out to be long. Really long.

So long, that I decided to split it into four parts. (I don't know about you, but even if I love the story, I wont read 3000+ words. It's just too much.)

Anyway, four parts – four weeks in a month...how about an update a week? :) After that, I may disappear for another eight months (joking (ish)), but for now, is that okay?

Please review or PM me. If you'd rather have a super long chapter, let me know too, but if not, until next week! :)

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FlorMorada.