Thank you to those that have been reading and to the reviewers. You're support means a great deal to me. Here's another chapter, hope you enjoy
Alex jumped at the sound of her cell and groaned when the caller id displayed Olivia's name, it had been 3 days since the blonde had met Casey and she hadn't spoke to either the redhead or Olivia since. In fact if she thought about it, having Olivia call her was a little out of the ordinary, the brunette usually only text and that was only after she'd left the blonde's bed. She cut the call, and her mind wandered back to the morning after she had spent with the redhead, a smile on her lips
Alex opened her eyes, her blonde hair dishevelled from their early morning love making, the redhead making good on her promise of another round. The empty space beside her evident, and for a second her hear sunk, until the smell of coffee drifting from the kitchen and a gentle voice emitted from the doorway
"I hope you don't mind, I made coffee"
Alex smiled as she laid her eyes upon the redhead, who had somehow found one of Alex's running tops which was certainly a little long
"And I kind of found this in the bathroom" she said fiddling with fabric "Is that okay"
Alex nodded as she stood from the bed, grabbing her robe and wrapping I around her, suddenly feeling underdressed "Of course, now this coffee"
Casey laughed and the two women settled at the counter
Alex groaned as she put the pen she had been using to sign some documents down, her cell ringing again, it had been a long day and she suspected it would only get longer
"Olivia" she answered, her annoyance evident
"Alex" Olivia replied "Sorry I've been distant"
Alex softened, hearing Olivia's voice she realised how much she'd missed it "I haven't been much better"
"Are you still at work?" the brunette asked
"Yeah, though I'm heading out shortly"
"I'm literally 3 blocks away" Olivia explained, "Can I stop by?"
Alex hesitated but agreed and within 15 minutes was sitting in the passenger seat of the brunette's car
"Do you want to come back to my place?" Olivia asked, noticing the shock on the blonde's face
"Your place?"
Olivia nodded "Yeah"
"You've never invited me to your place Olivia" Alex replied "Why now?"
"Because I've been thinking, about us and after…"
Alex cut in "After you left again"
Olivia nodded, she deserved that "I am sorry Al, for the way I've gone about all this, I'm not very good at emotions and feelings but I think we have to talk, and I'd like it if you'd let me explain"
Alex nodded, she had been waiting years for this moment, and hoped they'd be able to finally have a conversation without either shedding their clothes
The ride back to the brunette's apartment had been in silence, Alex hadn't expected to be heading to the brunette's apartment for the first time tonight, she was hesitant and unsure of where the evening was headed but part of her felt she should let the brunette explain
Unlocking her apartment door Olivia allowed Alex to step inside first. The blonde was surprised at how messy it was, and it seemed this was evident as Olivia began picking up objects and garments of clothing "Excuse the mess" she said quickly "I'm not usually this messy, well, I am but it's usually tidier when I'm expecting guests"
Alex nodded, still observing the small but homely apartment. She noticed that while it was a certainly lived in home, there weren't many personal effects, no photographs or knick knacks that told a story, a stark contrast to her own home "You have a nice place"
"It's not much, but it's home"
"Why have I never been here before Olivia?"
Olivia sighed "Because inviting you into my home would make what we had real"
Alex furrowed her brow but sat down on the couch as Olivia did so, the items she was holding now on the small coffee table in front of them "What do you mean?"
"I was scared, heck Alex I was petrified and quite honestly I still am but I've gone about things the wrong way. I was a coward, I hid behind work and the fact that I'm not gay…"
'I told you, the label you choose to give yourself doesn't bother me Liv"
Olivia nodded "I know Al, and it wasn't that I was scared of. I was scared because I'd never felt the way I do about you about anyone ever before"
"And how do you feel?"
"I can't put it into words Alex, I just…whenever you smile I can't help but smile too, and my heart feels like it's going to burst every time I see you, you're a very special woman and I've been horrible to you"
"You hurt me Liv" Alex said, her tone soft but her voice was clearly wavering with emotion
"I know and for that, I'm deeply sorry. I guess, what this is is bigger than anything I've ever felt and I just avoided making it real. I wouldn't admit it was anything other than sex"
"And is it?"
Olivia took hold of the blonde's hand "Yes, I don't feel like its just sex with you, I feel we connect"
Alex had felt that they had a connection but after her night with Casey part of her felt that the connection was simply that of two women desperate for comfort, and the way she and Casey had made love a start contrast to how she and Olivia engaged in the act
"Olivia, I love you"
"I know!" Olivia said harshly, but sighed before continuing, "I'm sorry that you feel that way, I don't deserve your love Alex"
"No, you don't" Alex agreed "But it doesn't change the fact that ever since you kissed me in that park, you are all I can think of. I almost through away my education once you transferred classes"
"I know, the amount of times Mr Williamson came to me asking about you, wanting to know whether you'd always caused trouble in English because every other teacher had said how polite and well behaved you were"
Alex laughed "I made his life hell, but I was hurting Olivia"
"I know"
"I don't expect you to return the feelings I have for you. I just don't want to be hurt anymore and every time you turn up I let myself get dragged in"
"I don't want to hurt you anymore either Alex. Stay with me tonight?"
Alex wasn't expecting the invitation, she certainly wasn't expecting to be asked to stay the night and as much as she wanted to, she needed to make things clear with the brunette
"I want to stay Liv, I really do but how do I know you're not going to turf me out in the morning, ignore me for days and then expect forgiveness"
"You don't but I want us to give it a try, I want to be in your life more than just every now and then, for a relationship and not just sex"
"Then let me go home and take me out for dinner next week"
"Are you asking me on a date Alex?"
"No, I'm asking you to ask me on a date. Show me that you want more than just sex, words are all very well but actions speak louder"
Olivia nodded "Can I take you to dinner next week Alex? I'll book us a table somewhere and text you the details"
Alex smiled "I'd like that very much"
"Could you stay a while longer" the brunette asked "I kind of feel a little more relaxed now we've spoken and while I know it's going to take some changes on my part, I'd like us to spend some time with each other just chilling"
Alex hesitated "I don't know Olivia, I don't know if I could pull myself away if I stayed"
"Then don't"
"I have to Olivia. I'll text you when I get home, and I'll speak to you when you've made that reservation"
Olivia nodded, she was disappointed but she had expected Alex to decline the invitation, she opened her arms, offering a hug and Alex stepped into it. It was brief but Alex knew that to share a different kind of closeness had been an important and difficult thing for the brunette
"I'll see you soon Liv" the blonde says places a kiss on the cheek of the older woman before stepping back and picking up her bag and jacket from the floor
"Thanks for hearing me out" Olivia says with small smile before the blonde exits her apartment
Olivia was still scared but determined to make it right she set about looking up the local restaurants and wishing she knew what kind of food the blonde woman liked