11. Home

The week goes by quickly. The team is extremely busy with their cases and they all work long hours. Olivia doesn't want to admit it, but she's tired more quickly than she's used to. Elliot keeps telling her that it's normal. After all, there's a whole new person growing inside her, taking up a lot of energy. But Olivia doesn't want to be a slacker on the job. She's only in her second trimester and that's supposed to be the time when pregnant women feel vibrant and alive, and can take on the whole world.

After a few days, Cragen practically orders her to take a few hours off and Olivia calls Alex to see if she's free to go shopping for baby supplies with her. Elliot grins at her while she's talking to Alex. He's on his way out with Fin to re-interview a witness and he mouths to her, 'see you at home'.

Olivia smiles and watches him walk off, temporarily distracted from her conversation with Alex. She and Elliot have found such a nice groove together and it makes her wonder. She knows she shouldn't let her mind go there but she can't help wondering about it sometimes ...

"Olivia? You still there?"

Alex's concerned voice snaps her back to reality and she apologizes to her friend.

"Yes. Yes, I'm still here. So … I'll meet you in 45 minutes outside the courthouse? We can take a cab from there."

"That's what I just said," Alex says, sounding slightly annoyed. "Is this kid eating up your brains or something?"

Olivia just laughs, not quite ready to explain why she'd been distracted. She isn't even ready to acknowledge what it is that was so distracting. Fin and Elliot are out of sight now and Olivia checks the time. 3.15. So she'll meet Alex at 4. Time enough to treat herself to a snack. Eating isn't a problem anymore. Right now, she can eat anything at any time. Apples are still at the top of her list but she isn't nauseous at all anymore and she's gaining quite a bit of weight.

"I need new clothes," she mumbles as she walks to the elevator. Even her oversized pants are getting too tight now.

…

It's almost 7.30 PM when Olivia and Alex arrive at her apartment with their harvest. Elliot isn't there and Olivia offers Alex a drink before she goes.

"Just a cup of tea," Alex tells her, sitting on one of the stools at the breakfast bar. "I've got plans later."

"Plans?" Olivia asks while putting the kettle on. "Anything I need to know?"

"Well, since I was the last one to find out about your pregnancy, I think I won't tell you," Alex says teasingly.

"You weren't the last!" Olivia huffs. "Not by a long shot."

"But you told Elliot and the team before me," Alex maintains. "What's the deal with you and Elliot anyway? He's still staying here?"

"On the couch," Olivia says defensively, and Alex arches a perfect eyebrow.

"I wasn't implying otherwise, Benson. But if you have something to add?"

Olivia huffs again and turns away from her friend to get them two tea cups.

"There is nothing to add, Alex. He's looking for a place of his own but it's all so expensive in the city."

"I know. Is he working something out with his wife about the house yet?"

Alex worked in family court for a while as an intern when she was still in law school, and remembers how divorces can work. Fathers usually get the short end of the stick financially, and while she wholeheartedly agrees that women often need more protection, sometimes the men involved aren't being treated fairly at all.

"I'm afraid Kathy won't be very willing to work something out with him," Olivia sighs. "He did nothing wrong but you know the courts will just assume he did. Just like everyone else for that matter."

Her last words sound bitter and Alex reaches for her arm, patting it gently.

"Everyone else doesn't matter, Liv. Your real friends know better. And even the girls came around, didn't they?"

Olivia nods, remembering the look in Elliot's eyes when he showed her the drawing Liz had made for her daddy, and she smiles softly at her friend.

"Yeah. El's been so happy about it."

Alex tilts her head and studies Olivia's face but doesn't comment. Olivia wonders what she thinks she's seeing and looks away to pour them both a cup of tea. It's not wrong to care about a friend, is it? She wants Elliot to be happy. He deserves it because he's a good man and a good father. Anyone would feel that way, wouldn't they?

...

After drinking their tea, both women part ways and Olivia starts putting away all the supplies she's bought. She is now the proud owner of several sets of maternity clothes, and she puts them in her closet, storing most of her smaller sizes away for later - hopefully.

They haven't gotten to the bigger baby things yet, like a crib or a stroller, but she's already bought a car seat. She places it in her bedroom so she can see it from the bed. It's becoming real now and it feels good. She got a cute pacifier too and a little grey bear, and she places both items in the car seat. Sometimes she can hardly wait to see her baby. Doctor Simmons has promised her another ultrasound around twenty weeks and then she'll learn if she's having a boy or a girl. For now, she's bought two cute little bodysuits with a teddy bear on them. She puts them in the hamper, along with all the cloths, sheets and blankets she's bought, to wash them before putting them all in the cabinet she's designated as her baby cabinet. She will even be able to use it as a changing table. She leaves a completely irresistible tiny pair of jeans on display on the breakfast bar because she wants to show it to Elliot. After washing all the other baby things and putting them away neatly, she crashes on the couch in front of the TV with a bag of potato chips and a bottle of water. She's exhausted and has a hard time keeping her eyes open. She glances at Elliot's pillow, that he's forgotten to put away that morning, and it doesn't take long before she gives in to the urge to lay down. She pulls the throw blanket down from the back of the couch and covers herself. She finds a comfortable position easily and closes her eyes. Just a few minutes, she thinks. She inhales and can smell Elliot's familiar scent on the pillow. It gives her a sense of security and she can't help smiling as she settles in. Just for a few minutes …

…

It's quiet in the apartment. Too quiet. Did she switch off the TV earlier? She can't remember. She blinks a few times before opening her eyes. It's dark. And then she hears it. Breathing. There is someone else there!

Olivia breathes in sharply and lifts her head to look around.

"El?" she asks softly, hoping it's really him.

"Hmmm."

She exhales slowly, relief flooding her system. It's only Elliot.

"Hey," she hears Elliot say groggily and she begins to register where she is and where he is. She's still on the couch and her feet are in Elliot's lap. She must have fallen asleep after all.

"I'm in your spot," Olivia sighs, and she tries to sit up.

"It's okay," Elliot mumbles but she disagrees.

"No, it's not. You can't sleep sitting up."

"I just did."

Olivia pushes herself up into a sitting position and moves her feet to the floor. Why were they in her partner's lap anyway? She looks at him in the dark room but she can only make out his silhouette.

"It's fine Liv," Elliot stresses, sounding a little more awake. "You were sleeping so peacefully that I couldn't bring myself to waking you up. You need the rest."

"So do you," Olivia counters. "What time did you get home anyway?"

"Around eleven thirty. New case."

"Vic still alive?"

"Barely."

They both sigh and Olivia scoots closer to her partner instinctively. Elliot lifts his arm and drapes it behind her shoulders. Olivia rests her head against his arm and then he pulls her close until her head rests on his shoulder, her forehead against his cheek. She wraps her arm around his waist and they sit in silence for a while. These cases never get any easier and it's comforting to have someone close by who understands. Olivia closes her eyes, and she can hear and feel Elliot's breathing evening out. He's relaxing again. She wonders if he could fall asleep like this again, and she wonders if she could. Her heart skips a little beat when she hears him say,

"It's good to be home."

She bites her lip when he pulls her even tighter against him.

Home.

That word means so much and she has to agree. It's good to be home. With him.

She moves to her bedroom eventually but lays awake for a while after she's heard Elliot settle in for the night on the couch. She feels like something is shifting between them. Or is it just her? She still remembers the look Alex gave her earlier. It's definitely her. She can't make any assumptions about Elliot. He's going through a lot and he needs time to adjust. She's happy she can make him feel at home at her place for the time being, but she shouldn't expect anything more from him.

She turns around for the tenth time, wishing she could stop all the confusing thoughts in her head. Elliot is doing so much for her already, helping her whenever he can. He's being a perfect friend and that's enough. It should be enough. Shouldn't it?

...