13. It's a ...
Olivia is restless about telling Miguel about the baby, but Elliot is doing a great job distracting her. He supports her decision to want to tell the biological father about the baby and she understands that he's looking at things from the father's perspective too. But Elliot helps her take her mind off things by spending the entire Saturday shopping with her. They pick up some of the bigger things now like a crib, a pram, a wooden playpen with a drawer underneath for toys, and a little bathtub. They also get a few bottles and Elliot has chosen the cutest little onesie for the baby. It's light blue with a dark blue bear on the front, and while Olivia maintains that he can't possibly know she's having a boy, he insists on buying it anyway, along with a matching little bonnet.
"A girl can wear blue just fine too," he tells her. "Just look at you. You wear blue all the time."
He's right of course and she indulges him. After they've dragged everything into her apartment, she can't help wondering if it won't be too cramped. The place was never meant for more than one person and it's beginning to show. Elliot has been unsuccessful so far in finding an affordable apartment for himself. She keeps telling him that she doesn't mind his company at all and he believes her. But she can tell it's still on his mind, especially now that they're getting ready to welcome a third person into the apartment. Olivia can see him pondering about their living arrangements and she wonders what it will be like once he moves out again. He will still help her out, but it will be different. She isn't sure she's going to like it very much ...
For now, they focus on the twenty-week ultrasound that's scheduled on Monday, and Olivia actually feels a little giddy when she wakes up on Monday morning. Elliot is up early too, even if he's taken the morning off just like Olivia.
"Ready to see little tater again?" he asks her when she walks into the living room, already dressed for the day.
"Oh yes. I've been thinking of names and it will definitely help to know if it's a boy or a girl."
Olivia walks into the kitchen behind Elliot to grab a bowl.
"Well, I thought it was a boy, but this one kicks like a girl so … maybe I'm wrong," Elliot jokes, and Olivia smacks the back of his head playfully.
"Just because you can't feel it yet, doesn't mean tater isn't a super strong little lady," she huffs, and Elliot chuckles.
After breakfast, they head out to see Dr. Simmons and when the doctor calls them from the waiting room, Elliot grabs Olivia's hand and squeezes it. He's just as nervous and excited as she is and she holds on to his hand as they walk into the examining room.
Dr. Simmons smiles at them knowingly and they let go of each other's hand. The nurse comes in with the ultrasound machine and Olivia takes a deep breath. This is it. She's going to see her baby for real now, and she's going to know soon if she's having a son or a daughter.
When she's settled on the examining table with her belly exposed, she reaches for Elliot again automatically, and he's by her side in a flash.
"You can sit on this stool, daddy," the nurse remarks, pushing a stool over to Elliot, and Olivia bites her lip.
She doesn't look at Elliot but her heart skips a beat when he takes her hand again and squeezes it. Even if he isn't the daddy, he's playing the role perfectly and Doctor Simmons doesn't correct the nurse either when she sees their reaction. Elliot sits down next to her on the stool and leans close to her when the doctor prepares to place the ultrasound probe on Olivia's belly.
"Here we go," she announces. "Let's have a look at baby Benson again."
Olivia is amazed at the perfect shape of her baby, so completely different from the grey blob they saw the first time. There is a strong heartbeat and they can even see the baby sucking its thumb. Olivia is overwhelmed with emotion and has to blink furiously to keep looking at the image of her child on the monitor. The doctor is taking measurements and they wait patiently for news about the gender of the baby. They can't tell themselves and will need to wait for a professional to point out to them what they're looking at. For now, all Olivia can see is the profile of the baby. It's amazing to see the perfectly shaped head of her child. It looks like all the images she's seen on the computer but it's completely different now that she's looking at her own baby.
"Now, baby's head is on this side," Dr. Simmons tells them, "but our view is partially blocked by the placenta, which is situated slightly to the right. Now I'm going to take a look at the other side.
She moves the probe to the left until she has a clear view of the baby's other end.
"There," she says triumphantly, holding the probe still. "As clear as day."
"What are we looking at, Doc?" Elliot asks, peering at the screen, that doesn't seem to be showing a baby at all anymore.
"These are the legs," the doctor explains, pointing out two oval grey areas that are apparently the legs, seen from below. "And this," she adds, pointing at another little blob, "is telling us you're having a boy."
Olivia gasps and grabs Elliot's hand with both hands. Elliot lets out a nervous chuckle. She looks up at him and they both can't stop grinning. Elliot is the first to find his voice when he tells her,
"Told ya."
"You said he kicks like a girl!" Olivia huffs, but she's still grinning from ear to ear.
"You're having a boy Liv," Elliot repeats in a whisper, his head touching hers for a moment. "A son."
"Congratulations, mommy," Dr. Simmons says, smiling warmly at both of them. "Your son is right on schedule with his growth. If all goes according to plan, you will be 36 by the time you deliver, but I have no reason to define your pregnancy as having an elevated risk at this point. You can just carry on and let your body tell you what you can and can't do. Just no heavy lifting, but you knew that already."
Olivia nods and thanks the doctor. After readjusting her clothes, Olivia sits up on the examining table, and Elliot helps her down, his hands on her waist and her hands on his arms. She looks up at him and when he looks into her eyes, her breath hitches. She wasn't prepared for the tenderness she sees in his eyes and it makes her stomach clench. She looks away quickly and they let go of each other and the moment passes, until the Doctor deems it necessary to make one last remark.
"Oh, by the way. I know you haven't asked, but in case you weren't aware or you were concerned, it's perfectly alright to have sex during a pregnancy, at least until I say otherwise."
Olivia feels her cheeks flush and lets out a soft huff. She doesn't know what to say. She's already told the doctor that Elliot is just a good friend and she has no idea why Dr. Simmons felt the need to tell her this.
"Good to know Doc, thank you," Elliot responds dryly and Olivia can't look at him.
Elliot puts a hand on her back and she lets him lead her out of the examining room so they can schedule a new appointment with the nurse. Her breathing is shallow and as soon as the door closes behind them, Olivia pokes Elliot in the side with an elbow.
"What's that for?" Elliot asks innocently. "It is good to know, right?"
"Right. Like I'm gonna be in the dating game any time soon," Olivia mutters.
She wishes she wouldn't react so strongly to the notion of having sex, since she's never regarded it as anything other than completely natural. She tries to ignore the reason why it suddenly makes her nervous. Dr. Simmons' remark was prompted by her and Elliot's interaction. She's sure of it. And that suddenly makes her feel awkward and nervous.
"You're still a very attractive woman, Liv," Elliot says seriously and once again, she's rendered speechless.
Elliot shrugs, as if to tell her that's just the way it is, and Olivia is relieved when the nurse returns to her desk and asks them what day would be convenient for their next appointment. They drive to work in silence afterwards, and Olivia tries to focus on the fact that she now knows her baby is a boy. She's actually relieved that she won't have to wonder anymore if she should name her child after her own mother. Girls' names are out now. She's having a son!
…
When Olivia comes home from a visit to the lab that night, Elliot is already there and she's a little surprised that he's taken the playpen out of the box and has set it up.
"It's not fully assembled yet," he tells her immediately. "I'll put it back in the box in a minute. I just wanted to see how big it looks in here."
Olivia plops down on the couch and watches Elliot as he moves the playpen into a corner and pushes the drawer underneath.
"It's gonna be cramped in here," she muses.
"It is," Elliot agrees as he pushes himself up from the floor, and Olivia can't help staring at the muscles in his legs and his ass while he stands. He really does look good ... Elliot turns around to face her and Olivia looks away quickly, peering around him at the playpen.
"You know, I've been thinking," Elliot says as he sits down next to her on the couch.
"Oh?"
"Yeah. About our living arrangements."
Olivia swallows. Is he moving out? She doesn't know if she's ready for that. Elliot rubs his hands over his thighs and she thinks he might be a little nervous.
"You're leaving, aren't you?" she blurts out. "Just say it and get it over with El."
"What? No!" Elliot responds, staring at her in disbelief and the surge of relief Olivia feels takes her by surprise. She actually has to blink a few times and looks down at her hands to hide the beginnings of tears from Elliot. She didn't know it matters this much to her until now to have Elliot with her. Or maybe she hasn't wanted to acknowledge it.
"Liv," Elliot says kindly, reaching for her hand.
Olivia keeps looking down stubbornly, blaming her hormones, and listens to Elliot while he continues.
"Hey. I'm not walking out on you Liv," he stresses, and she can't not look at him after that.
Elliot smiles softly when he sees the moist in her eyes. "I promise," he adds softly, putting a hand on her knee.
Olivia nods and blinks and Elliot helps her out.
"It's those hormones again, right?" he says and she nods again, forcing a smile.
"So what were you gonna say El?" she asks him.
Elliot looks away and surveys their surroundings.
"You know I haven't been able to find a place yet."
"Yeah."
"And this apartment is very modest, even for you and tater boy."
Olivia nods once again when Elliot glances at her.
"So I was thinking … since we should both be on the lookout for a bigger place, why don't we try to find one together?"
Olivia's eyes widen. She had been preparing herself somewhat for the day when Elliot would leave again but now he is suggesting a far more permanent arrangement and she doesn't know what to say.
"T … together?"
Why does her voice sound so small all of a sudden? Elliot shrugs.
"It's practical."
Olivia stands up and walks a few steps away from him before turning around. She stares at her partner, who has just suggested that they go apartment hunting together and she's completely stunned. Elliot is looking up at her expectantly and she can see hesitation in his eyes. Is he reconsidering already? Hasn't he thought this through?
"I … have to think about this," she finally manages to say.
Elliot nods.
"Of course. I understand. It's a big decision."
"Yeah …"
Olivia strolls into the kitchen to get them a drink.
"Have you thought this through El?" she asks while she's peering into the fridge. "Kathy's gonna blow a fuse."
Elliot stands up and walks over to the breakfast bar, leaning his arms on it.
"We'll have our own rooms Liv. We'll both have more privacy than we do now."
He is completely ignoring her remark about Kathy. Maybe he's right. That woman's fuses have all blown already anyway.
"You'll have sleepless nights right along with me once tater boy arrives," Olivia counters.
Elliot shrugs and smirks.
"I'm used to sleepless nights. And if all else fails, I'll just sleep in the cribs."
"Oh, that's rich!" Olivia scoffs, but she can't help laughing at his words.
She will need to think about Elliot's suggestion but the thought of having him close to her more permanently lodges itself in her brain quite easily.
"Just think about it, 'kay?" Elliot says. "I'll totally understand if you won't want me around permanently."
She smiles and hands him a drink.
"You're being a great friend so far El," she tells him quietly.
Elliot nods and purses his lips.
"Friend. Yep. Definitely."
...
A/N: Well, that didn't sound like he's happy with the friend label at all, did it?
And it's a boy! How 'bout that?