16. Arrangement
"What if one of you starts dating again?"
"What?"
"Don't tell me you haven't thought about it!"
Alex's eyes sparkle behind her glasses and she's literally sitting on the edge of her seat at the restaurant where she and Olivia have met up for lunch.
"I haven't, actually," Olivia admits.
Dating has been the furthest from her mind lately, with everything else going on. She and Elliot haven't mentioned their hug again and have been looking at apartments on the computer for a few days now. Elliot is going to schedule their first viewings for next weekend.
Olivia is meeting Alex for lunch on Saturday and has just told her about all the latest developments.
"Oh, come on. I know this situation with the divorce and the baby is taking up all of your time right now, but you're both still young and good-looking. No way you're going to go celibate now. Actually, I think Elliot's gonna want to explore a little, after almost twenty years with the same woman."
Olivia blows out a breath and tries to ignore the gnawing feeling in her gut. Elliot, dating other women? Maybe she should ask him about it. About the practical side of it. Because what if Alex is right and he takes someone home to spend the night, once they have their own rooms?
"I'm gonna need ear plugs," she thinks out loud and Alex chuckles.
"Maybe he needs ear plugs. You've got needs too, don't you?"
"Alex!" she hisses.
She can't even think about dating now. Not with the baby coming and not with all these confusing feelings she's been having lately. She knows they're shacking up for practical purposes but she can't even think about letting other people into their lives once baby boy Benson joins their little arrangement.
"Well, it's either that or you and Elliot finally get together for real."
The truth is annoying and the confronting way Alex puts it is even more annoying.
"Why don't we talk about something else," Olivia suggests and Alex laughs mischievously.
"Don't think I'm going to drop this, Benson."
"For now, you are, Cabot."
"Okay okay," Alex sighs, holding up her hands in surrender and sitting back in her seat. "So how about names? Have you thought of any names yet for your little man?"
Alex is honored to be the first to learn that Olivia is having a boy and she has promised not to tell anyone who doesn't know yet. But she's eager to help Olivia think of names and quite a few are discussed.
"How about Jason?" Olivia asks.
"Jason Benson?"
Alex makes a face and Olivia has to agree that doesn't have a nice ring to it.
"How about … Alex Benson?" the ADA suggests.
Both women grin and Olivia thinks about Alex's suggestion seriously for a moment.
"I'm kidding Liv. It's a good name but it would just be confusing," Alex tells her.
"You do know that lots of families have cousins that are all named after the same grandparent, right?" Olivia remarks. "Call one name and six kids come running over."
"Like I said. Confusing," Alex agrees.
Their lunch arrives and they eat quietly, throwing out another name from time to time.
"Have you thought of naming the dad?" Alex inquires.
Olivia swallows her bite and nods.
"I have actually. But I'd have to run it by him first. If he doesn't want to be part of his son's life, I'm not going to honor him by using his name."
"So you're gonna tell him? Have you made up your mind?"
"Yeah," Olivia says, nodding. "I thought I'd wait until I'm 24 weeks along."
"That's three weeks from now."
"And I'm nervous as hell about it."
"Why?"
"Once he knows, he can never unknow it. Do I really want to turn his life upside down like that? And what if he wants visitation or something? But El says he has a right to know and … well, I guess deep down, I agree with him on that. I still don't know who my biological father is and I don't want to do that to my son."
"Well, you can tell your son the truth either way."
Olivia nods.
"I know. But what if I tell him and not Miguel? What happens if he decides to go look for his father somewhere down the road?"
"I understand. If you want your child to know where he came from, better go with full transparency."
"Exactly."
They finish their lunch and have a cup of tea afterwards.
"So. Apartment hunting with Elliot huh?"
Olivia blows her tea. She doesn't want to venture into uncomfortable territory with Alex again and decides to focus on the practical side of things.
"Yeah. We're looking for a three-bedroom place. I don't think we will be able to afford four."
Alex nods and she can see the blonde thinking.
"When El has the kids over, tater boy will sleep with me," she says quickly, before Alex can say out loud what she is so obviously thinking.
Alex grins but doesn't comment any further on possible sleeping arrangements. Another name pops into Olivia's head and she asks her friend,
"How about Timothy?"
…
Elliot has been out all afternoon, meeting up with Maureen in the city. Olivia is happy for him that his bond with his oldest child is now as strong as ever. She decides to start dinner and sends him a text to let him know she's counting on him to be home for dinner. She smiles when she reads his reply a couple of minutes later.
"You're cooking? Will be home soon. Maureen says hi. El"
When Elliot gets home, the apartment is filled with the scent of stir-fried Thai rice noodles with chicken, broccoli and garlic. Elliot breathes in exaggeratedly and walks over to Olivia as if following his nose.
"That smells great," he tells her with a smile.
"Thanks. It's just about done. Did you have a nice time with Maureen?"
"I did. Things are better than ever between us now. She's really growing up."
"That's great El."
Olivia turns off the stove and turns to grab two plates from the cupboard.
"I could get used to this, you know," she hears Elliot say behind her. "My woman cooking for me, barefoot and pregnant."
Olivia almost drops the plates at his joke and turns around after making sure they're safely in her grasp.
"What did you just say?" she asks him, her voice low and challenging, but her eyes are can't quite hide a sparkle of amusement.
Elliot shrugs, a shit-eating grin on his face.
"Call me old-fashioned. I'm just a little surprised that it looks this good on you."
He knows full well that he's pushing her buttons and she tells herself not to take the bait. But even if she'd wanted to retaliate, the truth is, she really doesn't know what to say. She thinks he's just complimented her but in a very weird way, and he's thrown her off. It seems that's becoming a habit of his and she just huffs before carrying the plates to her small dinner table. Elliot chuckles and rounds the breakfast bar to help her get the cutlery and two glasses of juice while she puts the food on the table.
Once they are both seated, Elliot asks,
"And how was your lunch with Alex?"
"Very nice. We've been trying to think of a suitable name for tater boy."
"And what did Cabot come up with? I bet she wants you to call him Alex."
Olivia laughs out loud.
"Very true! But I kind of settled on Timothy after a while. What do you think?"
"I like it," Elliot said, smiling at her, and Olivia feels her stomach flutter.
She looks down at her plate before adding,
"Maybe I should ask Miguel too?"
When Elliot doesn't respond right away, she glances up at him. He isn't smiling anymore and stabs at a piece of broccoli on his plate with his fork.
"He doesn't even know yet, Liv," he tells her after a few moments. "Why don't you wait and see how that goes first, before giving him a say in the baby's life?"
His voice sounds flat and Olivia knows something's up, but Elliot continues eating and she does the same. Maybe she's imagining things. When Elliot changes the subject and starts telling him about Maureen's latest accomplishments in college, she tries to forget about it.
After they finish their meal and Olivia has served dessert, she thinks that maybe they should talk about what it will be like to share an apartment long term. The thought about Elliot starting to date again in a while has been on her mind ever since Alex suggested it, and she can't ignore the unsettling feeling she has about it. What if things get weird between them after all, or they get in each other's way? She doesn't want to sacrifice their friendship for a bigger apartment.
After they finish eating, Elliot suggests making some tea. When he joins her on the couch and hands her a cup, she clears her throat and Elliot looks at her almost as if he knows what's coming.
"What?" she asks him with a small smile.
"You were gonna ask me something."
"How did you …"
"I know you Liv. Never forget that."
Olivia bites her lip and tries to ignore the goosebumps that suddenly form on her back.
"Alright. I've been thinking," she starts.
"Uh oh."
Olivia shoves him playfully.
"Knock it off. I'm being serious here."
"Sorry," Elliot says, but she can see he doesn't mean it.
"Ass," she mutters, and Elliot chuckles, wagging his finger at her.
"Mind your language in front of the baby."
Olivia shakes her head and sighs, trying to suppress a smile. That man can always make her smile and that feels pretty good. She almost doesn't want to spoil their moment but she knows they will need to have this talk eventually. Better get it over with before they start looking at places together.
Elliot watches her and waits. Olivia takes a sip of tea to buy some time, but it's too hot and she finally sets her cup down on the coffee table, next to Elliot's.
"Have you thought about what it will be like to share a place long term El?"
"What do you mean exactly?" he asks her, and she can't read him at all at the moment.
"Well … I mean, what if one of us has company over? Won't we get in each others' way?"
"You mean like my kids?" Elliot asks, but while he speaks, she can see him realize that she means a different kind of company.
"Or … oh, I see," he adds, looking down at his hands in his lap. "I … gotta admit I hadn't thought about it. Do you think it's gonna be a problem?"
"I don't know."
She hesitates. She doesn't even want to think about Elliot dating other people, let alone discuss it with him. Then Elliot asks her,
"Are you thinking of having guys over on weekends or something? After tater boy is born? Because if you are, I guess I'd need some advance warning."
Olivia feels a stomach ache coming up.
"What are you gonna do then?" she asks him. "Sleep in the cribs? I can't kick you out if it's our place."
Deep down, she knows she has no plans whatsoever to have men over but since Elliot's mentioned it, she's going along with his line of thinking for now.
Elliot scratches his jaw and glances at her before looking away.
"I guess I haven't thought about that because I didn't want to."
Olivia's stomach ache is getting worse. What does that mean? Elliot gets up and walks over to the window. It's already dark outside and he won't be able to see much. They're on thin ice here and she knows he is trying to put some distance between them, but now that they've started down this road, Olivia wants to see it through. And so she joins him at the window, looking outside like him.
"Weren't you planning on finding someone again after the dust settles? Or haven't you thought about that yet?"
Elliot turns around and sits on the windowsill, crossing his arms in front of his chest while looking up at her.
"Actually, I thought I'd just stay with you."
Olivia blinks and sucks her bottom lip between her teeth. Her heart rate has definitely picked up. What is he saying?
"I haven't thought about anything or anyone else, to be honest," Elliot continues, looking past her into the room. "We get along great so … I figured we'd be fine. You know, working together. Helping each other out with our kids. But if you do get the itch, please don't let me get in your way. I guess we'll just have to figure it out when it happens."
"If it happens," Olivia adds quickly, and Elliot's eyes flick back up to hers.
"I'm not saying it will," she continues. "I just … Alex got me thinking and … well …"
She knows she's babbling a bit and she can see Elliot relax, so she continues.
"I just want you to know that we'll still have our own lives and … and I'm not trying to pin you down or anything."
The corner of Elliot's mouth tugs up and Olivia braces herself. She can see the sparkle in his eyes return and he's going to say something to break the tension any second now.
"Who says I won't want you to pin me down," he says with a smirk and the innuendo in his words makes her face flush.
"God El," she huffs and Elliot chuckles.
"I'm joking Liv. I don't want to make you uncomfortable."
"Sure you do," she mumbles, and she hears him chuckle again while she turns away from him.
Now she's the one who needs to put some physical distance between them. He's her partner and her best friend, for crying out loud. She doesn't want any sexual jokes between them. Not unless … no! She takes a breath and breathes it out quickly, but it doesn't do much to help her relax.
"How 'bout we finish our tea and you get some extra sleep?" Elliot suggests, pushing himself off the windowsill to walk back to the couch. "We can worry about hypothetical situations later."
Olivia nods and they sit back down to drink their tea. Elliot has made her the herbal tea she enjoys before going to bed and she appreciates his thoughtfulness. Maybe he's right. Maybe they won't need anything or anyone else once they are living under the same roof and tater boy joins the fun. It's not hard to imagine. In fact, it's not hard at all.
...
A/N: I know this is slow but easy does it, right? Please leave your thoughts in the review box below.