A few days later Steve and I sat in the living room watching the news Steve fidgeted looking like he wanted to say something. I glanced over every few minutes to see him still distressed.
"Enjoy the nice weather today because we're going to see a flow of continuous thunderstorms over the next week." The man on tv said.
I felt the chills work their way over my spine. I was terrified of thunderstorms. They always brought flashbacks of a time when I was still a child and being "house trained".
"Uh, since it's supposed to start storming tomorrow I wanted to know if you'd like to get some exercise outside while phased. Fury's only condition to you going outside though is being on a leash." That's why he was a bundle of nervous energy.
"How tight do you have to hold it?" It wasn't my first time being on a leash.
"Uh, it just has to be in my hand," Steve said shyly.
"Alright." I agreed. " When are we going?"
"Really? You don't have a problem with it?" He asked shocked.
"Yeah, did you really think the kid who can turn into a dog had never had a collar and leash on?"
"I'd never thought about it This isn't a punishment, it's just a precautionary measure." He said trying to make himself feel better. "Alright. I'm going to get that, you phase or wait here or both."
I shook my head very slightly amused at his rambling. He came back pulling a price tag off of a dark leather collar and leash. I phased and sat before him as he knelt down hooking it around my neck. He kept it loose and hooked the leash to it. When we got outside I kept my shoulder even with his leg like I'd been told to do so many times before. We walked the perimeter twice and headed back. Once inside he took off the collar and put them away while I phased back. It felt so good to be able to morph regularly.
"Hey, Sam told me that I should watch Bonnie and Clyde, do you want to watch it with me?" He questioned coming back.
"yeah, sure," I said sitting on the couch.
We watching the images flashing before us and listened to the sounds of yelling, promises of love, and gunfire. Afterward, I made dinner and we ate in silence. Steve seemed to enjoy and actually appreciate my cooking, something Hagstrom never did. He was a selfish man who only wanted more and better. Steve was different. After dinner, Steve said that he'd do the dishes. I nodded and let him be. When I got to my room I laid on the bed and thought about my parents. My father was a tall, broad man with light brown hair and chocolate eyes. He had dimples and straight teeth. My mother always said that I had his smile and his personality. He was quiet and reserved, preferring to sit back and watch, take the world in. My mother, on the other hand, stood five foot even with dark brown hair and sparkling gray eyes. She loved life and made the best of everything. She was like a fire, wild, untameable, and forever curious about the unknown She preferred action and chaos. not bad chaos just things constantly moving.
That's who she was, constantly in motion so she didn't get bored. My parents were a good pair. I'd gotten most of my looks from my mom. Standing five foot two and sharing her hair and eyes. She was beautiful. I smiled lightly to myself as I drifted off to sleep. I woke up as loud thunder rattled the windows. I shook as the lightning lit up my room. The terror coursed through my body as flashes of a young boy chained to a tree outside was tormented by Hydra agents. The cracks of thunder matching every foot, hand, and weapon that landed on the child's body. I covered my mouth to stop the sob from escaping my lips.
I could fight and take a beating. I could march into battle expecting it to be my last. I could face the world of the creatures that my parents warned me from. I couldn't face a thunderstorm. Nothing else reduced me to the eight-year-old sobbing and begging. I felt another wave of terror claw it's way through my being. I could almost see Hagstrom standing under the cover of the patio cover, eyes burning into me. Feel the disappointment rolling off of him. Hear his voice reminding me that I deserved the punishment.
I sat there for hours until I could finally get up and lock both doors. I knew that Steve could break the doors if he felt the need to. I pulled the blanket over my head and sobbed quietly to myself while the storm raged on. I wasn't sure how long I stayed in that position but when I finally moved after the storm seemed to stop, I was tired, stiff, and dehydrated. I also stunk. I got out of bed and rolled my shoulders with a satisfying pop. I grabbed clean clothes and took a long shower. When I was done, I gathered all of my dirty clothes including my sheets and put them in the washer. Afterward, I walked to the kitchen to grab water.
Steve was already there, staring at me intensely. I ignored him and made to leave when he moved to stand in front of me.
"Care to explain why you locked yourself in your room for five days? I thought we were making progress." He said.
"If you really wanted in then you could have busted the lock," I said casually sipping the water.
"I wouldn't do that. That's your room, your bit of privacy in this house." He said tightly. "You just vanished, though, locked yourself in your room and wouldn't even respond when I knocked."
"You knocked?" I hadn't heard him.
"Yes, several times a day. Jarvis even tried to get your attention." He snapped.
"Oh," I said stupidly.
"You had me worried." He almost shouted.
"Why? You don't have to worry about me. I'm perfectly capable of taking care of myself." I questioned.
"I made a promise to Fury to take care of you, to watch you, so I have every right to worry." He looked like he wanted to hit me. " Now answer my question. Why did you lock yourself in your room?"
"No." I defined him.
"Excuse me?" He looked baffled.
"I'm not telling you anything," I said as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
"Jayson, I can't help you if you don't let me." He said a bit calmer now.
"Eu nao preciso da sua ajuda," I stated.
"Don't do that." He said getting angry again.
"Do what?" I questioned genuinely confused.
"Don't start speaking Portuguese I don't understand what you're saying." He snapped.
I shrugged and walked passed him. I went to the library at the back of the house and got on the school work that Maria had sent over. Halfway through I remembered the laundry and went to switch it over. I maneuvered carefully trying not to run into Steve, wanting nothing more than to avoid another confrontation. I got to the laundry room and finished the last of the work. When I was done I looked at the time and noticed that it was 5:15. I went to the kitchen and just started throwing things together.
At six Steve didn't show. I ate my food waiting but thirty minutes later he still didn't make an appearance.
"Jarvis?" I questioned feeling weird about talking to the walls.
"Yes, sir?" He responded.
"Can you let Steve know that his plate is on the table?" I requested.
"Of course, Sir." He said.
I got up and walked to my room. My bed was made and laundry was folded and sitting on the blanket. I put the clothing away and laid down finally able to sleep for the first time in five days. I woke up and pushed myself up on my arms looking at the alarm clock, of course, it was 5:45 in the morning. I yawned getting up and carefully stepped into the bathroom. It was empty. I hopped in the shower and worked the soap over my body and through my hair. Once I was rinsed off I turned the water off and walked to my room grabbing something random to wear. I slipped on my clothes and went to the kitchen grabbing an apple. I sat on the counter taking a bite. Steve walked in shortly after, he paused for a second, eyes raking over me. I shifted and kept eating my apple. He went to the fridge pulling out a bottle of water. I wrinkled my nose when I realized that he smelled strong of sweat.
"Do I smell bad or something?" He questioned.
"Yes, you need a shower," I replied covering my nose with my arm.
"I just went for a run. I shouldn't smell that bad." He said smelling himself.
"Hyper sense of smell," I said.
"Oh, right." He replied leaving, to hopefully take a shower.
After breakfast, I sat in the living room and stared at the blank tv for a while until Steve came down. He had a sketch pad in one hand and pencils in the other. He sat across the room opening the book and began working. I watched him until I became bored of that, then I hopped up and leaned on the back of his chair.
"What are you drawing?" I asked.
"Just a picture." He said trying to hide it.
"Show me," I demanded lightly.
He sighed and did. The picture was of a young man sitting on a counter eating an apple, making a face like something smelled bad. The worse part was it looked like me. My heart fluttered.
"It's me," I said stupidly.
"Yeah, uh." He paused not knowing what to say.
Anger flared through me suddenly and I snatched the paper without thinking and crumpled it up.
"Pore que voce desenhara uma foto minha? Nao faca de novo! Voce nao deve mostrar afeicao ao seu prisioneiro." I snapped throwing the crumpled paper at him and stormed out of the house, leaving him looking as confused as I felt.
I couldn't fathom why I was so upset about it. It was a beautiful drawing but the anger seared through my veins like hot lava. It was a nice gesture but I couldn't see past my own hurt to realize that. My thoughts were going a mile a minute. Why would he be so stupid? Things like that were meant for friends or family. People you cared about. He didn't care beyond his mission. He couldn't, I told myself. I wasn't watching where I was going as I berated him mentally. Because of that, I didn't notice the agent until the boot collided with my chest. Winded, I hit the ground.
"Jayson Moore has been detained, Captain." I heard a deep voice say.
I groaned as I tried to breath around the napped rib and torn muscle.
"Copy that, I'll be there in two minutes."I heard Steve say over static.
"Mr. Moore you are to stay in that spot until Captain Rodgers has arrived. If you fail to comply my orders are to open fire." The man said.
"Or you could just kick me in the chest again." I rasped.
The man remained silent until Steve got there.
"Thank you, Agent Young. I'm sorry you had to leave your post." Steve said.
"I'd rather have stopped him then let him escape." Agent Young said.
Steve helped me up and informed the foot happy agent," He wasn't trying to escape. He just needed some time to think."
The agent just scoffed and left. Steve put one of my arms around his waist and put his arm around my upper back keeping me steady. I dropped my arm not really liking the contact.
"Are you okay?" Steve asked once we could see the house through the trees.
"Aside from the broken ribs and bruised chest?" I asked voice dripping with sarcasm.
"You brought that on yourself. You know you're not allowed to leave the house without someone with you." He said in full Captain mode.
"Nao, isso e culpa sua. Se voce nao tirou aquela foto estupido que eu nunca teria deixodo, idiota." I snapped, pushing him away.
"I told you to stop that. You shouldn't have stormed out." He almost shouted.
"Whatever, 'Captain'," I said as I walked away.
"No, you're not walking away from your problems. You need to stop clamming up." He said grabbing my arm.
"Let go of me," I said trying to internalize my panic.
"No, I don't know what your thing is with being touched but you need to get over it. I'm not going to hurt you." He seemed almost pleading.
"Whatever." I said as I quit trying to pull away from him.
"Let's go inside and talk." He said taking a step toward the house.
I let myself be dragged toward the house, once inside he took a seat at the table and motioned for me to do the same. I sighed and sat down. We were both tense and the silence between us was so thick I doubted it could have been out with a knife.
"We should get something to compress your chest," Steve said calmly, getting up.
"No, this was my fault. I don't want anything to compress my chest." I snapped.
"You're right, we should ice it first." He said crouching next to me.
I looked down at him as he grabbed my shirt.
"Don't touch me!" I shouted.
My arm hit his arm against the table, his arm bounced back, the back of his hand striking the side of my face causing me to fall backward out of my chair. My temple connected with the floor causing my head to swim. The next thing I knew I was being pulled up right and Steve's face was in front of mine looking concerned.
"Jayson, answer me," Steve said.
"I'm sorry?" I questioned now fearful.
"I asked if you were okay." He repeated.
"I'm fine," I said stoically.
"Alright, good. Can I please wrap your chest?" He asked.
"Yeah," I responded already removing my shirt.
He seemed taken aback by my sudden willingness to comply but I didn't want to give him another excuse to hit me. He nodded and went to go get the bandages. His words from outside echoed in my head, "I'm not going to hurt you". But he lied. I wasn't sure what I had expected. I was his prisoner and he could treat me any way he saw fit. Nobody would stop him. Nobody would care to. I swallowed as my thoughts sunk in. He'd been lenient before, now he'd be like Hagstrom and all of his Hydra buddies. I steeled myself after faltering. The only thing I could do now was trying to stop myself from flinching when he touched my chest.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hit you." He said quietly when he was done.
I just nodded afraid to speak.
"Are you hungry or anything?" He asked.
I shook my head stopping the tremble trying to work its way through my body.
"Alright. Uh, you can go now." He said the talk he wanted to have completely forgotten about.