Keeper of the Truth
Disclaimer: I do not own The A-Team movie or television series or any of the delightful characters found on The A-Team.
Chapter 33
One week later
oooooo
Standing in the hallway with a tray of food, Dani stared at the observation window set in the door of Murdock's room. The pilot had made sufficient progress, in Doctor Richter's opinion, to be in his room alone for longer periods of time.
She wasn't so sure. At times when she checked on him he seemed in an almost hypnotic or meditative state, either sitting crosslegged on his bed with his eyes closed or on the edge of his bed staring at the floor, his elbows on his knees, his hands clasped in front of him. Even when she knocked and entered, he didn't rouse from that state until she touched him on the shoulder. When he did, it was as if he felt a sudden jolt of electricity shoot through his body.
And he still doesn't recognize me or this hospital.
Integration with the other patients in the day room was not yet possible. They had tried once, the doctor and nurse on either side of him. He made it only halfway down the hall before having a panic attack and needing to be helped back to his room.
Richter and Dani were the only ones who could tend to his needs without him having a psychotic meltdown. He wasn't having continuous nightmares or flashback episodes anymore. He no longer required round-the-clock monitoring by either Dani or the doctor.
In a way, Dani missed the eight-hour-long shifts watching over and caring for him.
Maybe if I still had that time, he would remember who I am and what he promised.
As soon as she thought that she felt guilty.
It isn't his fault. He was following orders. Hannibal's orders.
She sighed and wondered if, when they got married . . . if they ever got married . . . Hannibal's orders would override any responsibility to his wife or . . . again a big if . . . children.
Subconsciously, she touched her gold necklace and thought of the moment a few months ago when the pilot had proposed to her in her apartment. The ring he had given her was safely hidden on the end of that chain inside her uniform top.
Close to my heart. Just as close as he is to my heart. Even if he never remembers me, he'll still be . . .
Shaking her head, banishing those thoughts from her mind, Dani scanned the lunch tray contents. The kitchen staff had listened to her, she noted with satisfaction. The tuna salad sandwich was thick with filling and on light rye bread. Dessert was chocolate cake with a yellow rose made of butter cream placed in the center of a quarter-inch layer of chocolate frosting.
H. M. will have no problem finishing all of this. At least, I hope he doesn't.
Both Richter and she noticed the pilot seemed to have little appetite. He was slowly losing weight. When urged, he ate bread and drank water but rarely touched the rest of the food he was offered.
It's almost like he's fasting for spiritual reasons.
She knew that Richter was beginning to consider having Murdock put in restraints and hooking him up to an IV just to keep him from starving himself to death. Dani shuddered at the thought.
I can't let that happen. I've got to try to get him to eat.
She knocked at the door and called out, "Captain Murdock? I have your lunch. May I come in?" Aware that others might hear her and figure out their relationship, she used his rank and last name.
There was no answer so she fished the key out of her pocket and unlocked the door to the room.
He was sleeping now even though it was midday. Curled up like a small child, he clutched the top corner of his blanket in his left hand. It appeared like he had kicked the rest of it off himself and onto the floor.
Looking at the dark smudges under Murdock's closed eyes, she realized he was not getting deep restful sleep even without the nightmares to upset him.
Something's still bothering him.
She watched for a moment and saw his jaw muscles tighten, then relax. A frown appeared and then disappeared.
What are you dreaming about, H. M.?
Hesitant to wake him, she set the tray on his dresser and drew up a chair close to his bedside. Sharon, the other nurse on duty, was manning the desk for as long as it took Dani to coax her patient to eat. If she sat and watched him for a few minutes, no one would mind.
Murdock mumbled something and rolled over onto his back, flinging both arms to either side across the bed and loosening his grip on the blanket corner. The cover slid to the floor at the nurse's feet.
"I'm ready . . . I'm ready . . . " he muttered.
It didn't sound like a nightmare stirring in his mind. She waited a few moments more but he seemed to relax.
Bending to pick up the blanket from the floor, she startled when his hand appeared in front of her face. His fingers gripped the gold chain with the engagement ring. She hadn't noticed the ring on its chain had fallen out from where it was hidden.
She looked up to find him frowning at the ring. His gaze traveled from that to her eyes.
"Where'd ya get this?" he demanded.
She froze in place, not knowing what he would do next or how to answer him.
Can I tell him the truth? Or will he hurt me to get the ring back?
"Where'd ya get it?" he repeated, keeping his grip on the necklace and his angry confused gaze on her face.
"The . . . the ring . . . means s . . . something to you?" she stammered, hoping he would tell her what he remembered.
"Damn right it does! Now I wanna know why ya got my Ma's weddin' ring danglin' on that chain 'round yer neck!" His voice was increasing in volume and she knew if she didn't give a satisfactory answer he might have to be restrained by the orderlies.
She decided she had to meet his angry tone with one of her own. "If you let me sit up and let go of the ring, I'll tell you. If not, I'll call for help and you'll be sedated and restrained. It's your choice, H. M." Too late she realized she had used a more casual form of addressing him than the other nurses and orderlies did.
He realized it, too. A deep frown appeared as if he were trying to sift through his memories to figure out why she used those initials.
He released his hold and swung his legs over the edge of the bed to sit facing her. The suddenness of his action made her flinch away from him. Seeing that, he raised both hands in a kind of surrender, his palms toward her. His tone softened."I ain' gonna hurt ya. Jus' tell me."
The anger and confusion were still there but he made no attempt to grab her arm.
She took a deep breath if only to buy herself some time to think of an answer.
"I know already what this ring means to you. You told me a few months ago before you gave it to me. Your mother told you to keep it until you found the girl you knew you wanted to be your wife." His intense gaze was still on her. Uncomfortable under his scrutiny, she glanced down at the floor. For a few moments neither of them spoke.
"An' that gal was you?" His tone dropped to a low murmur. When she looked back at him she found he was visually assessing her face, her body, and then her face again. "But why're ya hidin' it if yer th' one I asked t' marry me?"
"You aren't well enough to leave the VA hospital yet . . . " She couldn't finish the sentence.
"'N' you'd lose yer job if they knew?"
She nodded, her vision beginning to blur with tears she didn't want to shed.
He stared at her, uncertainty in his eyes. "I don' r'member. Wouldn' I r'member somethin' . . . if someone . . . if you . . . were th' one . . . " Groaning in frustration, he scrubbed his face with both hands.
"Do you want the ring back?" she whispered, swiping away her tears with her sleeve.
Please, please, H. M., say no. Don't ask me to give it back.
"I . . . I don' know . . . I gotta know why I gave it to ya t' b'gin with. I wouldn't o' jus' handed it off t' th' first pretty face I saw." He hesitated. "But how d' I find out?"
She saw a faint blush appear on his cheeks. "I . . . I mean, yer pretty 'n' you've been nice t' me but . . . "
"We'll take it slow. Get to know me all over again. Maybe along the way, you'll remember." She took his hand in hers. "Please? Give it a chance?"
He stared down at their hands for a moment, then said without meeting her eyes, "I got some thinkin' t' do. Th' people I've been with . . . th' leader . . . he said I had t' find my purpose t' find peace inside. I don' know right now if that means bein' a husband."
Her heart sank. Dropping her gaze to the floor, she thought about what he said. She knew the leader he was talking about wasn't Hannibal. It had to be someone he met during the last mission.
I've got to talk to Hannibal or Face and find out what they know about this.
He put two fingers under her chin and lifted her head gently so she could look in his eyes. "But if I promised somethin' as serious as marriage t' you, I'll try my hardest t' r'member. I promise ya that, darlin'."