To those of you who would rather see Miguel be a horrible person - I'm sorry. I promise you, you'll eventually be happy he's such a decent guy.
...
20. Making the Call
"Earth to Liv."
"What?"
"You were miles away, Liv. Where did you go?" Munch asks, putting a hand on her shoulder. "Would it have something to do with the handsome man on your phone?"
...
Olivia's eyes flick down to the screen of the phone in her hand. She and Miguel are still smiling happily in the summer sun and she quickly puts her phone face down on her desk.
"I was just … remembering last summer," she says, trying to sound dismissive but it actually comes out a little breathy.
"He seems nice," Munch remarks. "Is he uh …"
The older man gestures at Olivia and she nods.
"Yes. He is."
"And how does he feel about becoming a dad?" Munch inquires, perching himself on the edge of her desk.
"He doesn't know it yet."
Munch looks at her over the edge of his dark-rimmed glasses.
"I've been putting it off," Olivia sighs. "We're not ehm … we hadn't planned on seeing each other again."
"Do you have to tell him?"
"I do. I don't want my baby to have to wonder where they came from."
"Like you do," Munch adds understandingly. "I understand that. But why would you wait to tell him if you're so nervous about it?"
Olivia isn't aware that she is showing her nerves, but Munch has always been very perceptive.
"I was gonna wait until I'm 24 weeks along. Passed the magical border, so to speak. And I guess I don't want to ruin Christmas for him."
Munch smirks.
"Seems like a fitting Christmas present to me."
Olivia smiles then and her son decides to make himself known in that moment. She looks down and places her hand over the area where she'd felt the flutter of movement.
"Someone is agreeing with me. Recognizing my wisdom already," Munch quips.
"It's scary, John," Olivia says, not looking up at her friend. "What if he wants visitation or something? He lives in Florida."
"You're both adults, right? I'm sure that, if he's interested in his child, he will want what's best for him or her, just like you."
"You think so?" Olivia asks, finally looking up at Munch again.
"Only one way to find out, isn't there. But I'm sure you wouldn't have let him get very far with you if you hadn't sensed that you can trust the man."
"Up to a point, John," Olivia says, grabbing her phone again to look at the picture once more. "I liked him to spend my vacation with, not my life."
Munch shrugs and smirks again.
"Who knows? Things change."
"No."
Olivia shakes her head, looking away from Miguel's brown eyes and remembering a certain pair of blues instead.
"Okay," Munch says dryly.
He stands up, puts his hand on her shoulder once more and looks at her knowingly.
"Maybe you have more confessions to make than just this one."
Olivia bites her lip, knowing exactly what Munch means, and she's relieved that Munch simply turns around and walks away from her, back to his own desk. He's right, of course. And maybe she shouldn't wait any longer before calling Miguel. But that other confession … it will have to wait. At least until January 9.
…
"Hey El?"
"Hmmm?"
Elliot doesn't look at her, keeping his eyes on the busy New York traffic while they drive to Mercy Hospital to interview a rape victim.
"Do you think I should call him before Christmas?"
She sees his eyebrows shoot up and then watches him digest her words. Once she is certain he knows what she is referring to, she continues,
"I mean, I'm getting worked up just thinking about it. Maybe I should just get it over with."
Elliot nods slowly.
"Makes sense. Maybe you will stop worrying about him trying to take tater boy away from you. I mean, he never set out to start a family, right? He wants his ex back."
"Yeah. I suppose you're right. I never set out to have a baby either, but I'm older. And I always wanted a family. I don't even know if he wants one down the road."
Elliot glances at her and she can see curiosity in his eyes.
"Older?" he asks.
She grins. She should have known that would catch his attention. Yeah, she was with a younger guy.
"I can still turn the heads of the younger generation," she quips, cocking her head and giving Elliot her prettiest smile.
"O, I don't doubt that for a minute," Elliot growls and the tone of his voice sends little chills down her entire body.
It's almost as if his voice is caressing her, letting her know how attractive she truly is. To him. She huffs and looks out the window of the car. She won't be attractive for much longer, the way her body is starting to swell up. She swears her face is becoming rounder already.
Elliot clears his throat and she glances at him again, wondering if he wants to say something else. And then he asks her,
"How much older are we talking?"
Olivia chuckles and pats her partner's arm.
"It was all legal El. Don't worry about it. He's about ten years younger than me. So you're probably right. He won't be thinking of starting a family yet."
She can only hope she's right about that. When she looks at Elliot again, she can tell that he's still musing about the age difference between her and Miguel. He must think now that she has a thing for younger guys. Should she tell him she normally doesn't? That Miguel was just too cute and nice and mature to pass up, but she prefers the more seasoned, stable men, like her own best friend? No. She can't tell him that. She won't tell him that! What if she scares him off? She likes where they are now, finding their rhythm together and living under the same roof. Cragen's right. They have been getting along better than ever. They know what the other person is going through and one look is usually enough to pull them away from an outburst on the job. They have a good thing going here and she's not going to jinx it. Besides, she's pregnant. There is no way she's going to be able to seduce a man now. It will all just have to wait.
She sighs. What the hell is she thinking anyway? Seducing a man? Seducing Elliot? Oh my. No. They were talking about how she needs to call Miguel. A lot will depend on his reaction to the news that she's having his child.
"Well, if you think you should call him now, I'm here Liv. I'll listen in if you want me to and I'll leave you alone if you don't. Whatever you want."
"Thanks El," Olivia says sincerely. "I think … I think I'll want you with me when I make the call."
...
It's well after dinner and Olivia has been walking around the apartment aimlessly for a while now, still putting off the inevitable. It's three days until Christmas. Does she really want to do this now? Possibly ruin Christmas for Miguel just so she can sleep better again? Or worse. There's still the possibility that he'll have a bad reaction. She did wait over five months to tell him after all.
"Liv."
She stops pacing when Elliot calls out to her. He's sitting in the armchair and holds out his hand.
"Come on," he says kindly, beckoning her to join him.
He's holding her cell phone in his other hand.
"I'm scared El," she admits while approaching him.
"I've got your back, Liv. Always," Elliot promises.
She places her hand in his outstretched hand and lets out a tiny yelp when he pulls her into him, until she plops down rather unceremoniously in his lap.
"Oof. Sorry," she mumbles, but Elliot just smiles.
"Not a problem. Now take the phone and call him. I'm here."
"Hard to be missed," Olivia remarks as Elliot settles, helps her shift until she's sitting sideways in his lap, and wraps his arms around her expanded waist.
"That's the idea. I've got you, Liv. Both of you."
She smiles then. Elliot caresses her belly gently and she looks down at his hand. He is holding her and he is holding her child. One hand on her back and one on her belly. Nothing can happen to them now. She takes a deep breath and opens her phone, finds Miguel in her contacts and without any more hesitation, presses the call button. She puts the phone on speaker and closes her eyes while they listen to the phone as it rings. Once. Twice. Three times. She wants to hang up and just pretend she's never called him, but he's going to see a missed call from her. And then suddenly, he picks up.
"Olive?"
She can hear his surprise through the phone. His voice is familiar but at the same time, it's so strange to hear him again.
"Olive? Are you there?" he asks again, and Olivia knows she has to say something.
"Yeah. Hi," she says quickly.
"Hey," Miguel says, more cheerfully now. "How have you been girl? It's been a long time."
"It has, Miguel. Over five months. And I'm ... I'm okay. You?"
"Oh yeah. Remember I told you about Jamie? Well, it looks like we may be getting back together after all. We've been hanging out."
"That's great. I'm happy for you," Olivia says, hoping she sounds chipper enough, but she is feeling very tense. She is going to have to say something now.
"How 'bout you? You got someone to spend Christmas with?" Miguel asks, and she can just picture his disarming smile and the dimples in his cheeks when he grins.
Elliot's arms tighten a little around her, and she knows he's telling her to just say yes, she has someone to spend Christmas with.
"I do, actually," she tells Miguel, "but that's not why I'm calling."
"Okay. I was wondering if this was a social call. So tell me Olive. Why are you calling?"
...
A/N: ...