How to Sort a Murderer

"It's been quite awhile since a killer came to Hogwarts in their first year." The sorting hat whispered these words into Harry's mind with a sneer.

"How do you know that? Can you read my mind in every detail? I thought you just figured a general personality profile. I've read about the Myers-Briggs test. I assumed this was something like that."

"Not even concerned?" The hat's voice seemed disappointed. "I expected you to worry more than that. You sound so technical."

"You're the one reading my mind, you should be able to figure out how I think."

"So, a cocky child too. So where to put you… Well Slytherin seems to be the place one would expect for a child like you. I sense great power in you. Very few murderers come out of the other 3 houses…."

"Not Slytherin!"

"Not Slytherin, eh? Well perhaps you're right… You have almost no ambition. I see a great skill in lies and cunning within you, but without the drive to use it one will never be a great Slytherin. But then what else is available…"

"Gryffindor?"

"Hmmmm, well perhaps… Then again you're quite a bit of a coward…"

"I am not! I'm keeping the DeathNote until I can find a way to destroy it! I'm doing everything I can to protect people!"

"HA!" The Sorting Hat's laugh sounded like two bits of cloth rubbing against each other. "That proves you aren't made for Gryffindor house! No Gryffindor would try to argue about why they are brave enough! If Godric was in your situation he would have done something idiotic, like tell the headmaster the moment he learned what he had, sacrificing himself for the greater good. Instead you're making a logical argument! And you're working to gather information so that you can personally prove your skill. Ah, I see now where a boy like you needs to go… All those years spent alone as a child in libraries did something to you it seems. You're smart. You've kept yourself hidden better than any other 11 year old would, and I see a skill in magical dueling unlike any in a decade! It's not often that I find someone so split between the houses, but it better be…"

"RAVENCLAW"

After the grueling experience of the internal conflict, the final word rang out. He slipped the hat off of his head and saw the distraught face of Ron while also seeing the beaming crooked smile of Hermione. There were some cries of anguish from the other Weasleys, especially the twins. The Ravenclaws were surprisingly ecstatic, despite their reputation. A tall boy was leading a group in a house chant. He went over and sat near Hermione, and a young chinese girl who gave him a quick congratulations before turning back to the sorting. There were only a few students to go after Harry, before it was finally Ron's turn. Everyone was certain that this Weasley would end up exactly the same as his brothers, but the crowd was given a major surprise.

"RAVENCLAW"

"WHAT!" The collective shock in the room was only supplanted by Ron's face, which had gone even redder than his hair.

"There's a mistake!" Fred and George were yelling loudly for a resorting, but it was final. The sorting hat's decision couldn't be changed. Harry was so happy to hear his friend would be staying with him, and was the loudest Ravenclaw to cheer. Still, he was as surprised as anyone. He hadn't thought of himself as much of a Ravenclaw before hearing the hat's argument, but Ron?

"How did Ron get in? I would never have guessed it." Harry asked Hermione as Ron sheepishly made his way through the crowd.

"Really? I never expected anything else."

"Why do you say that?"

"Anyone who can play chess like that deserves to be in Ravenclaw more than any other house." And with that statement Ron sat amongst his new housemates, and the feast began. The trio met a number of students around them. There was Cho Chang, a second year who was the girl who had said congratulations to Harry when he came to the table. The Ravenclaw prefects Penelope Clearwater and Robert Hilliard made their way to every first year student to welcome them, and they seemed pleasant enough. Nearby there was a very loud and obnoxious boy named Roger Davies that was trying to brag to everyone around him that he had gotten top seats for the Quidditch World Cup last summer, and that he had kissed a dozen foreign girls while he was there.

The feast was absolutely incredible, and Harry had to stop himself from getting too stuffed, but eventually the seemingly endless courses ended. Dumbledore made his way to a podium and spoke a little before bed.

"A wonderful feast as always, but I do have a few quick announcements. First, as you have all been made aware, we are happy to have introduced three new classes to Hogwarts. May I introduce Christina Pince, our new Professor of the Study of Magical Books." He gestured to a stunningly beautiful young witch with straight red hair, violet robes, and a warm smile. "Henry Whitehorn, Professor of Magical Engineering." Now stood a man in his mid 40s with a large mustache. "And Carodoc Selwyn, our Professor of Magical Games who has left his position in the Department of Magical Games and Sports to teach at our illustrious school." Professor Selwyn was an athletic man with a large forehead and thick jawline.

"Also, we have a new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor this year, Professor Quirrel." A shaky man in a purple turban stood and gave a halfhearted wave. When he looked towards Harry, he felt a strange burning sensation in his head near his scar, but didn't make a big deal out of it. He was having too great of a time to worry, and it passed quickly.

"And finally, I must make a special warning. Do not go to the third floor corridor on the right hand side. I thought I would make a joke here about avoiding it if you do not want a 'most painful death', but professor McGonagall thought that imprudent. So, just to be clear, DO NOT GO THERE OR YOU WILL DIE." Have a good night!" And he smiled toothily.

The Ravenclaw first years were led up the stairs a long way, past dozens of moving staircases, living paintings, and even through a few secret passageways. They arrived at the top of one of the castle's towers and came to a doorway without a keyhole or handle, but a bronze knocker in the center shaped like an eagle. When Penelope went to the knocker, it came alive and began to speak.

"What starts with an e, but only has a single letter in it?"

"An envelope." Penelope turned to the first years and said, "every time you enter Ravenclaw tower, you will be required to answer a short riddle. Only one of you need know the correct answer to enter, but if you answer wrong, you'll be stuck until someone else comes along."

"Then I'm doomed." Said Ron sulkily. "The hat said it had never seen a mind like mine, but I've never solved a riddle in my life…"

"Correct. Welcome to Ravenclaw Tower first years." The bronze eagle welcomed them in as the large door swung in. The Ravenclaw common room was incredibly spacious and immaculate. The central room was large and circular, with tapestries covered in decorative stars and crescents. There was a large roaring fireplace at the far end of the circle, and in the center of the room stood a statue of a haughty looking woman in a tiara. There were desks of various sizes with comfortable seats all around the space, and some very poofy chairs near the fireplace. On a large table near the right side was a massive chessboard, with pieces nearly a foot tall, and beautifully sculpted with gold and silver ornaments. And the books… Hermione's eyes were glowing at the bookshelves that ringed the room, and from a quick look around Harry saw that more than half of the first years felt the same way.

"Boys rooms are on the right, girls, the same on the left." The prefects directed them quickly off, and they had to say goodnight to Hermione. Harry ran up to her quickly and said,

"Meet me and Ron for breakfast here early tomorrow. There's something I need to tell you." She smiled at the invitation and they all went off to bed. The first year Boy's dormitory had 5 large beds with blue and bronze drapes. Along with Ron, there were 3 other boys in their house that year: Anthony Goldstein, Michael Corner, and Flavius Flume. Anthony and Michael seemed to already be good friends, but Flavius was asleep in 5 minutes. He was rather fat, and a mess of greasy blond hair. Harry and Ron took adjacent beds, and talked for a while before bed in hushed whispers.

"So we're finally here. Not where I expected to be, but that chess set looked amazing. I've never something that fancy before." Ron was still a bit off about being there, but it seemed like things would work out.

"After everything we've been through today the house we're in is the least of my concern. We almost died today. People died in front of me." Harry realized that the Auror Peter Winthrop who died for him was the first person he had seen die in person. In some ways it was his fault that the man had died.

"That's their job Harry. I had uncles who died fighting the Death Eaters. They knew the risks as much as these guys. And we're safe here. No one is going to attack Hogwarts. Not even You-Know-Who ever was brave enough to attack here."

"I know. Hermione almost saved me you know. She set one of them on fire when they caught me."

"Really?" She's braver than I thought. For all the teasing I gave her she's pretty cool. She saved my friend, and she's good for my ego. I mean it's nice to beat people at chess, but its more fun when the person is as smart as her."

"Well I'm glad to hear that. We really don't have much of a choice now though. You saw her. She picked up the DeathNote from the train. She'll see Vim as soon as she manages to find us again. And she'll always be haunting me. I think she has some sense of where I am at all times."

"It'll be ok Harry. She's willing to set a terrorist on fire for you. I think she'll keep a magic book secret. She'll probably go crazy trying to figure out everything she can about it."

That morning Harry and Ron told Hermione everything they could, minus info on Malfoy, and Vim came in right on cue. They had to leap to cover her mouth to keep her from screaming, but she quickly calmed down.

"I've never even heard of something like this! A magic notebook with that much power. A real death god." She went up to Vim and tried to stroke her wings.

"I'd rather you didn't." Vim said quieter than usual. "My wings are very sensitive, and your skin is very soft." She actually seemed to blush.

"I have GOT to go to the library about this. There must have been some witch or wizard who has seen this thing before. Oh this is excellent. Thank you so much you two. You can trust me. I'm so glad I found you so fast. I was terrified I wouldn't make any friends here. I'll see you two at class." With that she ran off to the library for a quick research session before class.

"She's not even going to get breakfast is she?" Ron said, watching her recede down the hall.

"She's definitely a hard worker." Said Harry. And thus began a beautiful friendship.

In the Slytherin Common Room…

Draco Malfoy was sitting alone in bed. Even his fellow Slytherins had mocked him incessantly for the Death Eater attack. Now that everyone knew they were after him and the Potter boy they couldn't stop bringing lumping them together, as if they were best friends or something.

"It's all his fault!" Draco thought. "If only he was never everything at Hogwarts would be great, and these damned mudbloods and blood traitors wouldn't be rifling through my manor while I'm stuck here powerless. At least I'm away from that shapeshifting bitch and her mother… I'll make them forget everything about that botched train attack and make this place mine. The ministry didn't get everything before they stole me away from my mother.

Draco reached into the bag he kept by the side of his bed, and pulled out a small black book and quill, and began to write.

How do I kill Harry Potter?

The book answered.

Oh, I think I can help you with that dear boy. Yes that sounds like a wonderful plan. I think you can begin by going to the girl's bathroom on the first floor. There's something there I'd like to show you.