A little heads up: let me know if I should have changed the rating of this story before posting this chapter. And … enjoy!

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34. Letting go

The bookcase is ready at last, and Elliot has offered to unpack Olivia's books while she makes dinner. He doesn't want her to carry too many things and while Olivia had been ready to object, she has to admit that aside from the dizziness, she's starting to feel the effects of her pregnancy in her back. Op top of that, her round ligament pains are becoming worse as well. Bending to pick up books and then reaching up to place them in the bookcase doesn't appeal to her right now, and she had given in after objecting just a little for show. She thinks Elliot is aware that the aches and pains due to her pregnancy are beginning to increase, although he hasn't said anything. She's too proud to admit to them anyway and she smiles at herself while pouring some brown rice into boiling water. Maybe she shouldn't be so proud anymore. It's only going to get worse from now on until her baby is born, and whether she likes to think about it or not, Elliot has ample experience with supporting a pregnant woman.

It had taken both of them some self-control to stop kissing and touching after a while and get back to work. She knows Elliot is trying to respect her boundaries, but the truth is, she isn't sure anymore where those boundaries are now. It's becoming increasingly easy to fall into Elliot's arms and as much as she tries to blame her hormones, deep down she knows it's much more than that. These aren't spur-of-the-moment actions. Not on his part and ultimately, not on her part either. They've both thought about it and would never risk their friendship if they weren't sure about each other in a big way. The decision to share an apartment hadn't just been practical. Yes, she had agreed in the end to help Elliot out with his children, but naturally she had enjoyed the prospect of having him close by at all times. She had gotten used to not living alone anymore when he'd been sleeping on her couch. She's surprised herself a little in that respect. After she had finally fled her mother's home, it had been pure bliss to have a place of her own. Her apartment had been her oasis, her sanctuary. The one place where she could truly be herself.

And now?

There's a baby on the way. It's a dream come true but she knows it will also be a huge adjustment, and a permanent one at that. And while she is looking forward more and more to holding her son in her arms and spending time alone with him, it is so easy to picture Elliot there too. As her partner, he would naturally have become a male role model in her child's life, but he has offered them something much better. A father figure.

Elliot is the kind of father her baby deserves. The kind of father she would have wanted to have when she was little. She knows that Elliot would never allow anyone to hurt his children. And if they got hurt anyway, he'd be there for them. He has his faults, obviously, but who doesn't? She's seen him in action, doing whatever it takes for his kids. She can only hope he will be able to do that for her child as well.

"Liv, should I put the camera in one of the drawers? Or do you want to keep it in tater boy's room?"

Elliot's practical question pulls her out of her thoughts and she walks around the fridge out of the kitchen before answering him.

"Ehm. Just put it in a drawer for now. I'm afraid I'll be rearranging stuff in the baby room for a while before it's ready."

Elliot nods and chooses one of the four drawers below the bookshelves to put her video camera in. Olivia watches him work for a minute, her eyes drifting to his arms while they move to put her things away neatly. Most of her books have been placed on the shelves and he's putting her movies in another drawer of the bookcase. She's always admired his arms and now that she knows what it feels like to be held by them, she has to remind herself not to stare. A hissing sound from the kitchen reminds her that she hasn't turned the gas down, and her rice is now boiling over. She hurries back into the kitchen and hears Elliot chuckle. He must know she had been staring at him and she shakes her head, but she can't help smiling either. Maybe she should shake off the embarrassment and just let it all happen. She knows that she doesn't want anyone else anyway. Not for herself and not for her son.

…

Olivia tries to take a deep breath but fails. Her breath hitches instead. Elliot's hands have been kneading the muscles in her shoulders and back, making her groan contently. He's and exceptional masseur and she has started to feel more and more relaxed, sitting between his knees in front of him on the couch, her elbows resting on her knees and her head bowed. But now, his hands are drifting elsewhere. His lips are skimming the back of her head while his hands are moving to her front gradually, until they are cupping her breasts.

"Feel better?" he asks her huskily and she feels a little bit of embarrassment return when she can only nod.

"I'm glad."

She nods again and forces herself to keep breathing.

"This okay?" Elliot asks, gently rubbing the undersides of her breasts with his fingers.

She feels like her skin is heating up even through her bra and shirt. She bites her lip and closes her eyes, then gives him a courageous answer.

"No."

"No?"

Elliot is clearly surprised and moves his hands down quickly, cupping her baby bump instead. Olivia shakes her head, grinning. Elliot can't see her face and she wishes she could see his when she clarifies,

"No … it's not enough."

She swears she hears Elliot's breath hitch. It's finally his turn to be rendered speechless.

"Not … what … what do you mean?" he manages to stammer.

Olivia sits upright until her back is pressed against Elliot's chest and pulls her wide white blouse up before putting her hands over his.

"On my skin," she whispers and then starts moving Elliot's hands back up her body.

He catches on quickly and presses a kiss to her neck while letting her guide his hands until they are cupping her breasts again. He moves his thumbs up until he hits skin and Olivia sighs. Her heart is beating fast and her body is aching to be touched without anything between them. Elliot's thumbs carefully brush along her bra and she knows he is wondering how much 'more' she wants. She drops her head back, resting it against his shoulder. Elliot brushes his cheek against hers lovingly and she shudders. It isn't just sex that her body is craving. It's him. It isn't just pregnancy hormones. It's them.

"Liv," Elliot croaks.

She doesn't respond. She just waits until Elliot takes things further. He slips his right thumb underneath the fabric of her simple bra. Lace bras don't support her expanding bosom properly anymore but right now she could care less about appearances. She just tries to continue taking deep breaths while Elliot's thumb finally finds her bare nipple. His left hand drifts down her torso again, to the side of her belly and then over her thigh. She knows where it's headed and bites her lip. Her body is screaming, Yes! Touch me there! while it's getting warm under his touch. His chest feels hot against her back and she scoots back even further to feel more of him. Elliot groans and she knows she's pressed up against the proof of his own arousal now. She closes her eyes again, trying not to let her mind run with that thought, but it's too late. When the fingers of his left hand reach their destination, she breathes in sharply.

"Should I stop?" Elliot asks next to her ear.

"No …" she manages to gasp and Elliot chuckles.

He moves his hand back up a bit and then slips it inside her maternity jeans. Olivia gives in to all the excitement coursing through her veins then and relaxes against him while his fingers nimbly make their way down again until they hit her panties. He stops and waits. Olivia knows what to do. He is asking for permission.

"Yes," she whispers almost inaudibly but it's enough for Elliot. His fingers slip inside her panties and find their intended target easily. Olivia lets out a soft grunt and feels Elliot's lips press against her neck harder. She admires his restraint and part of her wishes she could match it because again, he isn't getting enough out of this. But when his left hand moves very deliberately and the fingers of both hands make her skin burn in the best way. Olivia lets her legs fall open a little further and grabs his knees, for support as well as something of him to hold on to. She knows he won't let her slide off the couch but it's a little frustrating that she can't see him or do anything. But the way he is touching her is almost paralyzing. Her body is too eager, and so is Elliot. He isn't concerned with himself, just with pleasuring her. And she lets him.

She can barely move in their current position but her hips try to meet Elliot's touch anyway. She squirms and squeezes his knees harder when his fingers find her wetness and two of them slip inside her body tentatively. Her body's response spurs him on and it doesn't take him long to find the exact spot where she needs him.

His right thumb has pulled down one side of her bra and Olivia is beyond caring at this point. He is rubbing and squeezing her breast while she rides his fingers. She is panting without shame now and Elliot is breathing hard along with her, whispering sweet words of encouragement to her. She hears the word 'baby' a few times and it makes her feel incredibly safe somehow. Elliot's got her. He won't let her fall, so she allows herself to let go.

"Owowowow," she groans, almost bucking off the couch. Elliot's right arm wraps around her torso just below her breasts and above her baby bump and she lets go completely. Elliot pushes his fingers deeply into her and holds, pressing the palm of his hand against her body while her body climaxes around him, against him, because of him. Elliot holds her tightly against him, dropping sweet kisses on her neck and shoulder while she rides the waves of ecstasy and then wile she calms down. Her body is shaking and she moans when Elliot retracts his fingers slowly. She wants to say something but she can't find the appropriate words. She turns her head to look at him and Elliot takes the opportunity to kiss her gently on the lips.

"How's your back?" he asks her, his lips brushing against hers.

"Much better," she sighs.

"I'm glad."

"Thank you."

"Anytime."

He kisses her again and she kisses him back lazily. She feels so sleepy now and she's too spent to worry about what it all means or about Elliot's needs. He doesn't seem concerned either and just kisses her until she dozes off in his arms.

…

A/N To be continued. Please review. Thank you for your patience and in case you're reading Coma too: yes, there will be more of that too! I've just been busy ...