AN: Okie dokes, guys, a couple of things. I changed the title because the title was fitting for it when it was just snapshots, but it didn't feel right for what this thing has become. The title is taken from /6Iyv17I6YHw these lyrics. I have written a whole lot of this fic to that song on repeat haha. next: I updated the synopsis because somehow this ended up becoming way, way more than I thought. Also: cleaned up formatting on eqrlier chapters so it's at least somewhat consistent. finally: Ready salted crisps and ketchup sandwich is amazing. I was a weird child.

that said... let's do this shit!

Gaster pinches at the space between his eye sockets, trying to massage out his frustration.
"Can you please focus?"
"i'm trying!" Comes the snappy reply. Then, a heavy sigh. "sorry. go again."
"I think we need to call it a night."
"i'm fine. just go again."
"You're sweating; we need to stop before you crash."
"go. again."
"Stop being stubborn."
Sans shoves his hands in his hoodie's pockets, making a show of standing firm. Gaster feels irritation bubble up within him as he does. "i can do this."
"You keep saying that but so far this has been completely pointless. No progress at all. Once more isn't going to change that, especially when you are this close to a crash." He sees a flicker of hurt go through his son's pupils, but then they steel.

"either attack or flee, doc. i'm not leaving this room until I'm ready."

Gaster knows he's just made a mistake. But he's not quite sure how. "Sans… we'll go again tomorrow. You need to eat and you need to sleep." He's met by a wall of stubborn silence. "Fine. I'll get food sent up. Once you pull your skull out of your ass, try to get some rest."
"i'm a skeleton, i don't have an ass." Sans smirks at him, and Gaster turns and leaves before he puts his foot any further into his mouth because Sans is doing nothing to help his frustration levels come down.

Sans knows his dad has a point as much as he wouldn't say it so until food arrives, he sits down cross legged and closes his eyes to have a light nap to recharge a little. Food arrives a little under an hour, and it's enough to at least break the sweat on his skull. The food helps recharge his magical energy levels immensely, too. c'mon sans, you can do this. it can't be pointless, it has to be more than a waste of time.

He pushes himself to his feet, taking up a firm stance again and preparing himself for a long night.

Gaster doesn't find sleep coming easily, and on the third time of waking, he gives up and calls the lab.~
"Yo, Doctor Gaster, what's up?" The line is echoing, which means he's on hands-free. Which means 'Dino Dan' as Sans refers to him - out of earshot - is on duty.
"Has he left the practise room yet?"
"Nope, still in there. I'm sending regular meals up for him, which seems to be keeping him on his feet for now. I thought he was going to crash a few of times, but he's pushing himself through. Hard."
"It's going to make it worse when he does."
"Yep. I'll just keep doing what I can from here, I'm not getting involved in this one."
"What do you mean?"
"That's for you to figure out. I'm just here to watch the kid." The assistant hangs up on him, disapproval in every word. Ever since the incident, he had been colder towards Gaster. He followed instructions, his work didn't suffer, but as far as Sans was concerned he was very curt with Gaster and didn't even bother to hide it any more He didn't fault him at all, he just wishes the Dino would come out and say whatever was on his mind.

Gaster rubs his hands over his trousers, looking at the holes in them, feeling guilt gnaw at him. He hadn't picked Papyrus up where he'd been so late back, and not having him there means that Gaster has no reason not to go back. He sighs and starts getting dressed again.

"Hey, kid." The Dino lets himself in the room, sick of watching him on the camera while he's digging himself into a metaphorical hole.
"hey." He greets him simply, not pulling his focus away from where he was trying to summon a pattern.
"You obviously aren't giving this up tonight, are you?"
"i can do it."
"Came to find out if you wanted to take a break have something more to eat. You're pushing yourself too hard."
"if i stop, the crash'll set in quicker. bring some more in for me?" The 'please' is in his tone.
"...Okay." he shakes his head after leaving the room. So the kid knows what he's doing to himself right now. He wastes no time in grabbing a shit load of snacks as well as heating a meal and taking it all back in a bag he slides around his neck (meal balanced carefully on his tail, too hot to go in the bag). As soon as he gets in the room, blue magic lifts everything free from him, and the warm meal goes straight into Sans's hand. He waivers dangerously, threatening to pass out right where he is with the meal in his hand. "thanks."

The Dino nods, and goes to leave. But then he pauses, and looks back at the kid.

Gaster is probably going to hand him his ass and his papers for this, but he's seen Sans' reflexes. What the kid needs right now is to stop, and he's not going to stop unless he proves that he can manifest an attack, whether it be to himself or Gaster.

"Throw a bag of chisps." The assistant catches them in his tail and carefully opens the seal down the back of the packet with his feet. He eats them slowly enough that he can see when Sans isn't quite so slumped in posture. The food helps less and less every time. He needs to do something soon. He waits for Sans to finish off the third bag of chisps, and he takes his moment to engage, having already stood himself up. He throws a spike of magic at the skeleton's back, ready to redirect if he needs to.

He doesn't, Sans easily flipping over it at the last moment, and turning on him as he grabs his soul with blue magic.
"what the hell is your problem?"
"You rely too much on blue magic. Drop me, then instead of grabbing and pulling towards your soul, you need to push the magic out from your soul. And you need to get this fast, another round of food isn't going to stave off the crash, I can see it. No holding back, the old man is too gentle with you and it's not helping." Realisation hits Sans' eyes, and he instead stares through the dinosaur who shudders under the weight of the stare, feeling the creeping chill that comes with the weight of one of his *CHECKS. He simply shifts his feet, and lashes his tail out, his magic slicing at the patch of now-empty air. He hadn't even seen him move his feet, but he could feel Sans behind him after a few very soft footsteps. "Push it out, kid. Just let it go." He pulls from his magic reserves, but instead of using it like a leash, he digs deep and pushes it out from himself sharply. It responds as a plasmic whir fills the air, and a laser fills the room.

"oh god. i'm so-"

He feels another razor sharp slash cut the air in front of him and just about manages to push himself back and out of the way. A very, very near miss. The Dino laughs despite having just taken a face full of blaster.
"That was AWESOME! Don't apologise, this is what you've been working for!" The Dino has a minor epiphany somewhere at the back of his mind, despite the fact he's very excited right now, and despite having a face full of laser. But San's soul responds to the praise, getting a new and temporary wind of energy. And as his soul responds, so does his magic, bones explode from the floor and the Dino has to react fast, leaping to flat tops among the field of possible damage. He catches his foot slightly as he leaps, but the damage seems to be negligible. "Magic is supposed to feel good. Let it guide you in battle. Don't think about it and don't worry about holding back." He lands with a grin, unleashing another attack through his tail. Again, he barely sees Sans move his feet and the kid is beside him with a grin that touches his eyes. He sees the left hand extend and feels himself rocket to the side, and he fails to find his feet as he's smacked into a wall of bone that pops out to meet him.
"Yes! Let go of the fear and work with it, not against it." He drops to the floor as Sans lets go and spears his tail towards him without a beat missed. "A monster's soul and body is made of magic. That magic is a culmination of your being. The more you are scared of your magic, the more it won't respond to you because you are closing yourself off from it. Let it help you."
The voice comes beside his ear, light and almost giddy despite the sweat coming from him. He sees the flash in the left eye, cyan and yellow, but it doesn't terrify him like it had years ago. "like trusting your instincts, right?" the left hand flares and throws him up into the ceiling, before crashing him back down, lifting him and following his hand to the left as he throws him across the room again, bones from top and bottom surrounding him. The Dino's not sure how to deal with this one at all, he's never seen anything like it. He's in awe. "don't think about it, just let it happen."
The assistant hits the wall, but manages to fight the pull of gravity enough that the bones skim the bottom of his feet.
"Yes, that's it!" He cries ecstatically, before standing again. He can see the crash coming, and lifts his tail to initiate the spare. Sans holds out his hands, accepting it. He's breathing heavy and swaying slightly where he's stood. The Dino closes the gap, and lifts his tail under the young skeleton's chin.

"Don't fear yourself, or your magic. Not ever. Now go get some sleep, kid, that was amazing."

Sans is still grinning by the time he collapses in the hall, not able to make it back to his room before the crash. The Dino is about to call Gaster to get some help moving him, when the man himself appears at the end of the corridor.

"What are you doing here? Not that I can fault your timing; the crash finally got him. I wouldn't be surprised if he's out for a couple of days."
Hands gently lift Sans, and a snore is his only response to being moved. He uses his own hands to sign as they are otherwise unoccupied. "I couldn't sleep, so I thought my time would be better spent here. Seems I was a little too late."
"Yep." The assistant pops the p to emphasise the word as much as possible. Gaster frowns at him.
"You have had something to say for a long time. Will you just say it?"
"I've already said it. I said it on the day of the incident, and I've said it a thousand times since." The Dino looks at him and he sees the area under his neck expand ever so slightly, the monster's visible shrug. "As I said earlier, it's something you've gotta figure out for yourself. If you're here the rest of the night, I've got to go eat and get some rest. He didn't fight long but my god I'm feeling it."

"Do you need a- wait." Gaster *CHECKs him and his brow furrows.

*Monster Guy
*8 ATK 17 DEF HP 48/58
*Thinks you can do better. Thinks he can do better too, despite trying his best.
*The names are a family tradition. don't say a thing, asshole.

His brow furrows as he sees the HP. Even as he's reading the stats

47/58

the number changes.
"Are you unwell?" Guy looks at him entirely puzzled.

46/58

"Nope. Why, what are you seeing?"
"Check your HP."

45/58

"I don't- woah. Hey. Do you see that? Not the bar, obviously, but how it just dropped?"
"I see it."
"Have you seen it before?"

44/58

"No. This appears to be some kind of poisoning."
"KR? It's pink, like the chunk on my HP bar."

43/58

"We should heal you up, then we can discuss-"
"It should stop about half way down. See to your son, asshole." A look of surprise hits Gaster's face as the excitement had faded into frustrated coldness.

42/58

"Sorry, I didn't mean to call you that. I'm feeling… not the best right now, but I shouldn't take it out on you."
"No, you are correct." Gaster sighs, and beginning to walk. "Come. And keep an eye on your HP as you walk. If we need to stop and heal you, we can."

41/58

"It'll be fine. The pink on my hp bar stops a little above half. I'm not gonna dust… I think."
"You hope."
Monster Guy says nothing.

40/58

"What?"
"Nothing."
Gaster sighs.

39/58

They enter the elevator, and travel to the second floor in silence, although Gaster does notice that the assistant's posture is slowly hunching.

34/58

"Just let me heal you."
"Why? Don't you wanna see what happens? Scientific curiosity and all that." He has an accusing edge to his voice as he gestures with his tail.
"What is that supposed to mean?" The tone in his voice accentuates what he cannot through signing.

33/58

"Just go put your fucking kid to bed." He pushes Gaster out of the elevator with his tail, then the held form of Sans, and jabs at the floor button.

His HP does indeed stop dropping when it hits halfway, but he finds himself poking about at his food with his tail instead of actually eating it. He felt awful, but not physically. It was like someone had dredged up every piece of shit he had ever done and tied to to his back and used meat hooks to stop them from falling off. He sighs, letting himself flop forward onto the table. Now your dumb ass just took it out on your boss. If you get fired again, your brother's gonna kick you out. The only reason he let you stay there in the first place is because you all but bought him up while mother worked. He groans with frustration. This job had literally saved him from being homeless, the rent he pays his brother being the only thing keeping him in his dinky apartment. He couldn't afford to lose it.

The accident. The dust still coated his tail in his sleep. Was it an accident? You were pretty pissed off and scared, and magic's all about intent. Wait what the hell am I thinking? yes. I never meant to kill him. Just… get him to stop hurting mom.
Well. He stopped.
He lifts his head and lets it flop back onto the table painfully, hoping that the impact might shake the thoughts away.
Suddenly, a warmth spreads through him and his musings lift themselves up and away as it feels like the hooks are being removed from his back. He lifts his head and turns it back, and there's his boss channeling green magic into him, healing his wounds.

"Doc?"

Once he's finished healing the monster, he sits himself opposite him. His hands form the words smoothly, not allowing his feelings to come through. He doesn't trust his voice not to do the same, so he doesn't use it.

«You need to speak to me about whatever issue you have. You're a good member of the team but most importantly you are the one member of it who I feel has the best interests of my son at heart. Interests it almost sounds like you think I have» he pauses, looking for the right word «missed.»

"I think I've already said too much tonight." He drags his tail down his face.
«I don't think so. this is not a place where you should feel like you cannot speak feely. Especially where my son is concerned.»
That makes him raise an eyebrow and chuckle quietly. "like you are right now?"
"...Fine." his voice sounds tired, and the Dino can finally get some emotion behind the signs. "...where am I going wrong with him?"

The Dino is surprised at the bluntness to the question. "Said every parent ever." And they share a small laugh, and finally he starts eating. "I don't actually think you are doing anything wrong, as such, I just think… it seems like sometimes you forget that he's a child. I don't blame you for that, from the moment they appeared he's seemed more of an old soul. I don't know if that's a side effect, but some kids are anyway, you know? Maybe it made it worse, maybe he would have been anyway. But either way, you shouldn't be treating him that way only when something reminds you."

Gaster remains silent, thinking on the words. The dino takes it as a sign that he's not about to be torn apart for what he's saying and gathers together enough confidence to continue.

"I mean, geeze, doc. He chose you back then, and you're still his world. You and Papyrus. I've just watched him push through four consecutive crashes because he wanted to prove to you he could do what you were asking of him. And he's real good… if that's what he did on a first round, I really wanna see what he has in store for us later on." A small grin creeps across his face. "I tell you what, if he manages to keep that fighting spirit through all this, he's going to be a force to be reckoned with. We just gotta hope the world don't break him first; he's more sensitive than he likes to let on."
Gaster laughs quietly at that. "That is something I don't need to be told."
"Maybe you should remember that when you speak to him then." The grin has dropped. "Kid's like him won't give you honesty unless you respect them enough to give them first, and you two… You two are very much alike, in the best and worst ways."
"What are you getting at?"
"Hmm…" How to make him see? The doc was a genius when it came to everything but feelings. "The research you're doing on the CORE is pointless, at the end of the day we're still going to be stuck in a hole. You may as well give it up."
"That's not related to this conversation! And it's not pointless, countless lives are going to be improved if we can figure out how to get them… unlimited… I see what l did." He runs a hand over his face as the defensiveness runs out of him like water down a drainpipe.
"Tell him that, not me. The more you two don't talk to each other, the more you're going to drift apart. And while you're at it, it wouldn't kill you to tell him you're proud of him."
"I thought that was obvious."
"Maybe, but it still wouldn't kill you." Gaster hums in quiet contemplation. "Well, if that's everything, I'm going to head back to my shift."
"Yes, that's all." The Dino stands, and makes his way out. "Thank you."

Monster Guy turns back for a moment with a grin and a tease. "I'll send the bill for the therapist fees between you and Sans."

Gaster does his best to go about business as usual for the next few days, but he finds himself lapsing into thoughtfulness at every quiet moment. The discussion had given him a lot to think about. Monster Guy wasn't wrong, either, Sans didn't stir for days. 6 of them, in fact, and it got to the point where Gaster had worried that the kid had pushed himself too far. It was gnawing at him near constantly by the time he finally woke up.

Hands rubbed at sleep-hazed eye sockets and he slowly pushed himself up into an upright position, but before he could stretch out the stiffness from his joints, he feels himself pulled into a tight grip.
"wha-" his brain catches up. Gaster has wrapped him in a hug tight enough to have cut off his airways if he had them. "if you're trying to turn me into paste, you're crushing it."
Laughter erupts from his dad, but the arms slacken off. "Of course the first thing you do is make a bad joke. Must mean you're feeling better."
"yep. i feel sansational." Gaster lets him go, rolling his eyes. Sans takes a moment to stretch like a cat, feeling all the kinks in his skeleton settle back in their correct places.
"Good. That means I can do this." He gives his son a sharp clip around the back of the skull. Sans rubs the back of his head, brow furrowed unhappily now.
"...did you take your meds this morning?" He asks, sarcasm not masking the confusion.
"Ha ha, you're adorable." Gaster snarks back, but lets it go. "It's been nearly a week, I am allowed to worry."

Surprise creeps into the pupils. Surprise and shame. "a… a week?"

"You must not push yourself that far. Do you understand?" Sans pupils flick away from him. "Sans. Do you understand?"
"...yes." He says reluctantly, picking at the blanket. Then he looks up with a gleam in his pupils. "but I-"
"Kicked some serious dino butt?" Gaster offers him a grin, and that brings one to Sans' face too. "I heard."
"you did?"
Yep. He seemed awfully pleased about it, actually." He sees his son light up. Huh.
"do you… wanna see?" Sans asks, almost sounding shy but excited at the same time.
"Of course." Sans hops out of the bed, and starts towards the door "Wait!"
He stops still like someone froze him in time, then turns his head back to Gaster.
"Shower. And clothes. And you haven't eaten yet."
"oh! oops." He grins. "meet you down there?"

It's the fastest he's ever got ready in his life. He showers just enough to make sure he's clean and grabs just a Tee and some shorts and the first two socks that come to hand. He's going to leave eating, but the moment he thinks about it is the moment that six days of not actually being awake to eat catches up. Thank everything for absorption otherwise he probably wouldn't have been able to eat at all meaning he probably wouldn't be on his feet right now. He makes himself a quick salted chisp and ketchup sandwich and wraps the bottom in kitchen towel so he won't trail it's sweet and salty goodness down the hall as he hurriedly eats it on his way.

i can do this.

He's found himself lingering at the entryway to the test lab, taking a breath to steady himself. Nerves are kicking in enough that he's come to a stop. Nerves, and-

STOP HURTING DADDY

A shudder goes through his frame.

That, like always, completely overrides everything. What if MG -Sans realises just how long it had been since using the nickname, even in his head- had been… wrong?

He wars with himself for a few moments, before he lets instinct take over.