I know it's short but at least it's something ... I'll try to write the next part a bit faster.

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42. Heavy

Two more weeks go by and Olivia wonders if she can get any fatter. She's a little over 34 weeks along now and she feels huge. Her body hurts in strange places and she is just wobbling around the office now. She feels anything but graceful these days.

Elliot tells her she's beautiful and that pregnancy looks amazing on her but she doesn't believe him anymore. She has eyes and a mirror, after all.

It's almost five PM and she's currently waiting for Elliot to come back from Queens. He's been back to the house twice now since the twin's birthday party to try and talk to Kathy but so far, he hasn't gotten anywhere with her. She's been either ice cold or furious with Elliot. Maureen is keeping an eye out and has told them that Kathy is her normal self most of the time, just like the neighbor had said. She's irritable at times, but that's something Elliot had gotten used to years ago.

This time, Elliot and Maureen have gone over to Queens together and Olivia hopes that they can convince Kathy to come with them to see their family doctor. She's been wondering what will happen if Kathy can't look after the kids anymore. She has to admit, she's been looking forward to hiding away with her baby for a while after he's born, and she doesn't know how she'd cope if the kids suddenly had to move in with their father. Aside from Dickie's strained behavior, Olivia also isn't used to having so many people around her. And frankly, she doesn't know if she would want to, which makes her wonder if she is being unreasonable. Elliot is accepting her child because he's hers. Shouldn't she be able to accept his for the same reason?

Olivia sighs and rubs her enormous belly lovingly while staring straight ahead. Of course she accepts Elliot's kids. She's always loved them because they're a part of Elliot and because they're wonderful young people. But loving them and having them in her home 24/7 isn't exactly the same thing, is it?

John Munch pops up in her line of sight when he sits down opposite her at Elliot's desk.

"How are you holding up, mommy?" John asks her kindly.

"Honestly? It's getting heavy," Olivia answers.

"Don't you have some vacation days left? I'm sure you could go on leave a little early if you wanted to."

As tempting as that sounds, Olivia is worried she will be bored out of her mind at home. John counters that she can't very well continue working until her water breaks.

"I've got six more weeks to go, John."

John eyes her belly and wiggles his head.

"You never know. You could pop early."

"Oh, he's more than welcome to!" Olivia exclaims.

John smiles and there is a comfortable silence between them for a short while. Then he asks her casually,

"How are the living arrangements working out? You've made it more permanent, right?"

Olivia nods.

"Yes. El needed a place so he could have the kids over and I didn't mind moving to a bigger place before I have the baby. We couldn't afford something nice on our own so … we joined forces."

"Has anything else changed, aside from your address?"

John asks his question very calmly without any innuendo but Olivia knows he has some idea about the change that has occurred in her relationship with her partner. And so she just bites her lip and looks at the older man, who gives her an understanding smile.

"Does Cragen know?" John asks.

"I don't think so. He knows about the living arrangements but he hasn't said anything. And I doubt that he will, unless we mess something up on the job."

"Why don't you expect him to say something? As your commanding officer, he has a right to know, doesn't he?"

Olivia blows out a breath slowly and rubs her belly. John doesn't know the details of their little run-in with Cragen when they had first told him she was pregnant.

"Let's just say he knows better than to assume things about us."

Munch peers at her over the rim of his glasses and she can see in his eyes that he understands.

"But all the people assuming things about you and Elliot and your baby … they were wrong about the baby part but not about the other part. Were they?"

"We never did anything …" Olivia starts, suddenly sitting upright, but Munch shushes her right away.

"I know Olivia, I know. You're both too principled for that. But still … we could all see the chemistry between the two of you, so I'm not surprised you're doing something about that now."

Olivia smiles and relaxes. She knows John wasn't attacking her and he won't tell anyone else about this conversation. And even if he tells Fin, the information will still be safe. She trusts her coworkers and she realizes, not for the first time, that her trust issues are becoming less these days. It's her NYPD family that is helping her get over her fear of betrayal and rejection.

"Well, we're not rushing into anything," she offers and Munch nods, staring at some point in the distance.

"You need to focus on becoming a mother first."

He looks at her again when he asks her,

"Are you sleeping at all?"

"Not as well as I used to but it's enough."

She thinks of the way Elliot lets her use him as kind of a pregnancy pillow. It actually helps to rest her top leg on his legs and it feels good not to sleep alone.

"Alright. Well, I'm calling it a night," John says, standing up and stretching his back. "Are you waiting for Elliot?"

"Yeah. He's over at Kathy's. He said he'd call."

"How is Kathy doing these days?"

"Actually, we're worried about her. El is trying to convince her to go see a doctor."

"Are the kids okay?"

She can tell that her coworker is slipping into Detective mode and she stands up as well, and puts a hand on his arm.

"We have Maureen and a neighbor looking in on her and there is no reason to think the children are at risk. We just … we want to make sure she isn't self-medicating."

John nods and looks at her very seriously then.

"Just don't try to solve things on your own, alright? Report her if you have to."

"We will, John. I promise."

John Munch leaves and Olivia sits back down, holding her belly. She hopes they won't have to report Kathy because it would have such huge consequences. Right now, she wishes she could just crawl in a corner and be alone with her baby.

…

Elliot sends her a text at 5.30 PM, saying that they're all okay but he's going to be a while and he urges her to go home. Olivia decides to take a cab and is just inspecting the contents of the fridge when her phone rings. She snatches it off the counter, hoping it's Elliot calling to tell her he's bringing food. She frowns when she sees the caller ID. She answers the call and says his name a little hesitantly.

"Miguel?"

"Hey Olive."

"Hi. I … how are you? I'm a little surprised you're calling me."

"Yeah well … I was thinking about you and the kid and I thought I'd call to see how things are going."

Something in Miguel's voice tells her that there is more to it than what he's saying but she can't really tell what it is, so she just responds to his remark.

"Things are going well. The baby is growing just fine. I'm just getting really heavy. I don't think you'd recognize me now."

"I could never forget your pretty face," Miguel says, and she can hear his cute smile through the phone.

"I'm fat now, Miguel," she says, grinning as well.

"I'm sure you're still pretty," Miguel assures her.

Again, she thinks there is something he's not saying and this time she asks him about it.

"What's up Miguel? I have a feeling this isn't just a social call."

She hears him chuckle.

"You really are a cop, aren't you," he says.

She remembers how he hadn't believed her at first when she had told him that she was a cop and how they had had fun about it. In the end, he had been sorry she hadn't brought her handcuffs with her on vacation.

"I really am," Olivia says. "Now spill."

"Okay, here's the deal. It's really over for good with Jamie now."

"Oh. I'm sorry."

Olivia wonders again why he is calling her now. It can't be just to tell her he's single again, can it? She's beginning to get a weird feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Yeah. I thought we were doing so well and then I catch her cheating on me with a mutual friend at a pool party."

"You caught her? In the act?" Olivia gasps.

Her heart goes out to him. That has to be so horrible, to actually get that image seared into your brain.

"Yeah. I walked in on them doing it in the bathroom. And she didn't even apologize. She just said, guess what. We're not dating anymore."

"I'm so sorry Miguel," Olivia sighs. "You didn't deserve that. You tried so hard to win her back."

"Yeah well. My cousin Luís is being a real friend and he suggested getting away for a while. So then I thought maybe we could come to New York and see you."

"See me?"

Olivia doesn't really know what to make of it. Why would he suddenly want to come and see her, now that he's officially single again?

"Yeah. I mean, I know you got a new man in your life but you are carrying my baby. The least I can do is stay in touch, right?"

"Right," she says hesitantly, but she can't help feeling a little antsy about it. "So … when would you be coming out here?"

"Well, Luís is talking to his boss about taking some time off. We're hoping to fly out there in two weeks and we'd be staying for about ten days I think. I'd like to see you then if that's okay with you."

"Yes … yes, of course that's okay," Olivia blurts out.

What else can she say? It would be weird to say she doesn't want to see him when she's made it a point not to keep the baby a secret from his biological father and vice versa.

"I don't wanna get in your way, Olive. Luís just thinks it will be good for me to look at the good things in life to get over Jamie, and I think he's right. Besides, I've never been to the Big Apple. I'd like to see it."

Olivia bites her lip and rubs her belly. Soccer boy most definitely is one of the good things in life to her. Will Miguel want to be a part of his life after all? She tries to keep breathing evenly but she can feel a slight panic creep up her spine.

"Olive?"

Miguel's voice forces her to stay in the present and she quickly tells him,

"Just … let me know when you're in town. We can set something up."

"Will do. Are you sure you're okay?"

He must be picking up on her restlessness, not realizing that he is the cause of it.

"Yeah. Everything is fine. I'm just … tired," she settles on.

Miguel tells her he'll be in touch and ends the call. Olivia is still standing in the kitchen, staring at the screen of her phone long after he has disconnected.

…

To be continued ...