Enjoy some hella fluff.
Warnings for the chapter juuust in case: Cursing, Recreational alcohol and drug use, Sans being Sans, non-romantic non-ship salphys fluff, non-explicit and non-sexual skeletal nudity. None of it should be bad enough or explicit enough to up the rating for this chapter.
"ugh, remind me why we're doing this again?" Sans stretches his back out from where he's been hunched over a microscope for the last ten minutes
"B-because Gaster c-couldn't find who p-paid M-Muffet 3000 gold for l-live spiders to f-follow him around in t-tap shoes for a m-month and th-then hacked into the system and snuck it it o-onto the lab expenses for this month… b-but he figured i-it was probably you." Alphys snickers and he starts laughing as she does.
"that's slander. he can't prove a thing."
"W-well, it would be slander if y-you hadn't done it."
"you wound me, al." He smirks, putting a hand to his ribcage.
"A-and I'm here b-because this c-could be a great scientific d-discovery. S-somehow." She looks pointedly at the blue flower glowing in the corner, not believing the words as she says them.
"guilty by association, then?"
"...Next time get the n-number yourself." She pouts as she pokes the specimen of cave mushroom they are working on.
"c'mon, it was worth it just for the week i started to convince him he had tinnitus even though he doesn't even have ears." He waggles his brow bone at her, and that starts her snickering again. He vacates the seat and as she sits on it to take another look he sits on the empty work bench facing her.
"C-can you at least t-try to focus?"
"what's the point?" He lays back on the workbench, effortlessly slotting between microscope and sample dishes, laying on top of papers and putting a hand to his skull overdramatically. Huh, it's almost like that's exactly where he put them for a reason. She shakes her head, fond and frustrated. "alph. he's literally given us an assignment that he's not going to even look at the results for, and the only reason he's stuck us together is to see if we actually do it. he's as subtle as the luciferins we are trying to stimulate in the mushrooms and not even as much of a fun guy. hehe."
"Oh. My. God." Alphys pushes herself away from the work surface with a groan at the lame pun, too bad for even her tastes, and he looks up at her so very pleased with himself. "y-you have my undivided attention. B-but if it's help with another p-prank, I'm p-passing. Gaster's n-not happy a-and unlike you I want to b-be here."
"actually, as fun as that sounds, no. for one, it's too soon, you gotta let these things die down so the next one is unexpected."
"Sans."
"fine, i'll get to the point." He rocks his legs forward and swings around using the momentum. Blue magic saves everything he knocks over from crashing to the floor and sets it back on the bench. "sleepover?"
"I'm not- wait, wh-what?" Alphys hadn't expected that at all.
"i'm really really bored, alph."
"Somehow, I hadn't n-noticed."
"sarcasm's the lowest form of wit."
"I'll leave it t-to you then."
"ouch." He grins. "but seriously, bring some of your anime and spend the weekend or something."
"I-I-I don't know… it's n-not that I d-don't want to, but…"
"i'll talk to him. c'mon alph. save me."
She sighs in defeat, and he knows he's won. He's already out of the room by the time she looks up to answer. "Fine, but- where did he- d-damn it Sans we're still- n-n-never mind." But she's smiling softly anyway. She has to admit, when he's excited about something, it's really infectious.
"No."
"c'mon."
"No." Gaster goes to turn back to his work, and finds it missing. He sighs in irritation, knowing that it's going to be in his son's hand despite him being across the room. "You spent three thousand gold of the lab's money on tap dancing spiders, and now you want me to do you a favour?"
"that's slander, you can't prove anything."
"It would be slander if it were untrue."
"that's what alph said too." He chuckles. "you don't even know what i want yet."
"And nor do I care. Papers, now."
"listen to me, then papers."
"Sans."
"fine. i'll give them back, but then you listen."
Gaster gives a low growl of the anger his frustration is very close to slipping into. The papers get dropped into his open hands. "What. Do. You. Want?"
"sleepover with alph."
"And again I say no. Now, leave me be."
"c'mon, please! just the weekend, no watch shifts, a shitton of bad japanese cartoons and bad food. we'll leave you alone the whole time."
"What part of 'no' are you not understanding?"
"dad." That's the only word of argument and despite the quietness, it demands Gaster's full attention. Gaster hadn't realised how much he missed being called that by his eldest. "she's the one person in this place that doesn't treat me like i'm going to either implode or explode at any possible moment. and heck, it was you who told me I should be trying to make friends here. i want to do something that's at least somewhat normal for people my age. so, please, please let us have this."
He stares Sans down, trying to determine any hint of a lie or trickery.
"You'll have from six pm Friday until eight am Monday, at which time I expect you down to continue building the feedback system. You'll also have an allowance for you and her to spend on food and drink, not a gold more and definitely not embezzling the lab to be able to spend more-"
"oh hell yeah. thanks." He scrambles out of the room, leaving Gaster blinking in his wake at the spot that he'd been standing in moments ago.
"I wasn't finished… never mind." Despite himself, Gaster has to sigh fondly now he's alone in the room. It was good to see him happier, that was for sure, and his excitement was infectious when he rarely got excited about things. Maybe he should be a little softer on Alphys the next time she allows herself to be pulled into helping him with one of his pranks.
He turns back to his work with a renewed vigor. And a smile.
Alphys finally managed to reproduce the chemical reaction that gives off the blue glow in the echo flowers in the mushrooms and sits back with a sigh now that she has Sans working at full capacity and actually being helpful and getting the manual trigger for the reaction integrated. She knows that bioengineering is out of his interests but she can't help but marvel at the way he works once his mind is on a project. She wouldn't dare tell him that it's almost like watching Gaster himself work. There's a fifty percent chance either way that it'll be a compliment or an insult. But also, with more work comes more freaking mushroom puns. Even she's reaching her limit by 6pm Friday. Mind you, it had been a while since he'd been this genuinely excited, so she was able to bear through it. Mostly. And besides, she would be lying if she was to say that she hadn't been looking forward to it herself. She herself could count her friends on one hand - hers, not his with his extra digits and all. Not that she minded, at all - some of her best weekends have been pajamas and anime... But sometimes, even Alphys would have to admit that pajamas and anime was better with friends.
"You're leaving him unsupervised?" The team was being debriefed before being given an almost unheard of weekend off. And they don't seem happy. Gaster is starting to understand why this weekend sounded so important to his son.
"No, Dr. Alphys is staying. By definition, he has supervision."
"Tch, yeah." An older man speaks up, disapproval in every word so thick it might make them tangible and drip with it. "If anything happens, she's more likely to cower in the corner."
"Or help. He's got her completely wrapped around his bony fingers." A female voice from the back of the room speaks up.
"I think it'll be good for all of us to get a break. And yes, I mean him as well. His mood and his work output has been up like a bazillion percent this week." The longest serving team member speaks up from just in front. Good ol' Dan.
Gaster just crossed his arms, radiating his stern presence as the phantom hands sign sharply, conveying his irritation as well as his tone. "All of your concerns are noted, and have subsequently been thrown out of the window. I don't believe I asked for a discussion on this. I believe I told you that you had this weekend off. As royal scientist, I know what's best, and if I'm wrong then that responsibility is on me. As his father, the same applies. You are all dismissed."
The room is filled with unimpressed grumbling as everyone starts to file out, and he glared at the back of the heads of two staff members muttering something about taking bets not loud enough for him to catch the whole conversation as they walk out of the door. Everyone gone, he runs a hand over his skull wearily, before setting up the system to divert to his modified phone.
It's not that he doesn't trust Sans, Gaster tells himself, It's just a precaution. But, his instincts tell him everything will be fine, and he decides to trust them.
"did you bring the thing?" Sans asks her, grinning.
"Y-yes. Though I'm still c-confused as to why you s-said that instead of me bringing the bags themselves."
"because i know you, and you have bought way too much stuff for just you to carry. and 'sides, i've been keeping something special to show ya but i don't know the underground outside of these four walls to show you without help." She goes to take the map of the underground and the co-ordinates out of her pocket, but finds them already in his hand. She hadn't seen him move or felt him in her pocket.
"When d-d-did- how d-did you-"
"patience, my dear alphys. give me a minute."
"I knew I sh-should have loaned you Sherlock. I'm not your W-W-Watson." She grumbles good naturedly.
"totally are." He replies, not looking up. She narrows his eyes at him, and after a beat, snickers anyway. She's not sure how it happened, but it's true. After a couple of minutes, he looks up. "and you definitely left it all there?"
"On the c-coordinates written, as r-requested."
"awesome." He's been practicing this little trick a hell of a lot, and he can do it as reflexively as breathing. It's just a shame he doesn't know the underground, or he would be out by now. Oh well, freaking out the staff by suddenly appearing from closets is great fun. A new upside to being stuck in here. He knows his father has figured out how to do it too, and is a lot less subtle about it, but Sans is certain Gaster doesn't think Sans has figured out how to do his whole person yet, or that he's even magically strong enough to do it. In fact, Sans has been very careful to not alert him to the fact that the opposite is true, and the alarm Alph had accidentally told him about doesn't seem to be much for details, just to alert them to high levels of magic in areas outside the practice rooms. He knows, he'd snuck in and looked.
With a wave of the hand, he opens a mid-sized shortcut, big enough for grocery bags. The wave is mostly for showboating purposes, and then he waits. Alphys just looks at him.
"N-Nothing happened." She sounds almost disappointed. He winks at her, and reaches a hand in, feeling his fingers brush bag. He grabs it, and pulls it through.
"tada!"
"Oh my-" she lights up, losing her words to the oncoming freak out. Sans makes it even better.
"i'm not bringing it all in. too lazy for that."
"I c-can do it t-t-too?" She asks in a hushed whisper of awe, and he laughs
"sure."
(Gaster checks the phone's screen as the alarm sounds, and watches Sans show off for a few minutes with a chuckle, before closing his phone again.)
Alphys very tentatively reaches out her claws, and feels the bag handles brush against her fingers. She squeals, then grabs a few bags, Sans collecting the rest. "B-but how?"
"science." He winks again, and starts digging through the bags, letting the area of shortcut drop as he does. "you've outdone yourself here, alph." He pulls out an Italian style pizza, and holds it up. "olive you."
She throws a box of animal crackers at him. "I will leave, n-no l-lion."
Sans pauses, then doubles over laughing "i'm so proud of you right now." Alphys blushes and covers her face at the praise. The evening passes in a blur of snacks and laughter, and even the anime weren't that bad. Alphys had obviously catered to his love of science and sci-fi, and he silently thanks her for it. They start off fairly light and definitely more solidly in the humour section of things, and everything goes somewhat well. It's when they start on a series that deals with time travel and a more emotionally based plot that the beers are retrieved from the supplies, but he finds the plot completely enthralling. The series is long over by the time the beers he didn't remember asking for and Alphys denies buying run out, and they've veered into darker territory in the early hours of the morning.
Alphys has had a couple but isn't a really big drinker, which is how Sans ends up flushed on the cheekbones and leaning against her.
"i don't know what is worse, keeping the kids in the facility or letting 'em out. it's not like they're doing it out of the kindness of their hearts for humanities' safety. somethin' weird is going on with shades guy."
Alphys snickers at his suspicions, already knowing that Sans is bang on the money even if he doesn't know it yet. There's a small part of her that wonders if Elfen Lied might have been an on the nose choice. Her current anime partner is too drunk to care right now. Maybe something lighter next, she decides.
"It's kind of the p-point of the anime though."
"yep. a morality tale for the ages. if someone's evil, give 'em anmesia-" yep, definitely too drunk to care right now, maybe this is the right time for mew mew, it's the most likely time he is going to agree to it "-'n dump 'em with a stranger and hope they're real nice. We could fix the world with that solution. 'least we can try it with the humans if the barrier 'ventually breaks." He snickers to himself at the thought, and she ends up laughing at the ridiculousness coming out of his mouth right now.
"D-do you really think they're going to be evil? The h-humans, I mean."
"maybe not evil. i really don't think anyone is all good or all bad, tibia honest. they're gonna be really mean though, more'n likely."
"Why?"
"everyone's told they're dangerous, so they've gotta be somewhat, right? and 'sides, have you seen the shit that comes through wherever the human stuff washes down from? gaster bought a skeleton into the lab one day when I was younger, 'n i cried for a week because it was nailed to a metal post and hung by a wire from the top of the skull to hold it upright. he finally told me it was plastic when he found me trying to convince one of the healers to plaster him back together after taking it apart and removing it from the post, the asshole." He laughs though, finding the prank hilarious to look back on. "'n then there was the time he fixed up all of Grillby's door with airhorns that someone gave him - i was real little at the time but 'sone of his favourite stories. i… oh. uh oh. oh no, oh god."
"What?"
Sans shrinks into his hoodie, melting to the floor in drunken shame. "i'm turning into my dad. alphys what do I do?"
She can't help but laugh, surprised by the two stories he's just given. "I didn't realise he was such a p-prankster."
"'snot. well, not 'nymore. he used to be fun." Sans climbs back onto the couch, leaning on Alphys again.
"It's not like he's boring."
"nah, just… work focused."
"Well, is that really a bad thing?"
"Alph. Alphys Idontknowyourlastname, listen to me right now." He speaks with the gravity of a drunk person about to reveal their perceived meaning of life. And he capitalised. "life is about fun, 'kay? Whether you've got all the work in the world, whether you have four walls or no walls, or you're stuck in a neverending nightmare of tests 'n shit until you're old 'nuff to work yourself to death around tests 'n shit, life is about fun. If you're not havin' fun, or makin' somebody else have fun, you'll fade away from view like a supernova in the sky that's becoming a black hole."
"...that's r-real heavy."
"'s true"
"Is that what you're w-worried about?"
His voice becomes sing-song and playful, the mood he's just established disappearing in an instant. "you didn't buy enough beer to get me drunk enough to answer that question."
"How c-can you drink so much with such low st-stamina?" She laughs, especially as she has a light buzz going on the little that she's had.
"'s not what you got but how you use it." He winks at her.
"...A-And that's me out. You should sleep." She shakes her head at him, settling herself down for sleep also. She hears him lay himself out flat. She wonders if he's passed out because he goes quiet for a while, but as she is literally just about to drift off-
"you know, procrastination is just flipping yourself off from the past."
"Oh my god, please don't start with that crap. Go to sleep, Sans."
"i'm procrastinatin' sleep. morning me is goin' to be pissed." He cracks himself up.
"Morning me is going to be pissed at you too."
"welp. g'night then." It's literally moments later that she hears snoring.
And now she's thinking about the nature of procrastination and time management, and is thinking about it for hours before eventually drifting off. God damn it, Sans.
She finds out next day that he might actually be a sleeping champion. She thought she did well, sleeping through until late afternoon, but she has time to pop out and bring back more beer and some other snacks she thought he might like, and he's still crashed out; face down and snoring heavily.
"How do… skeleton's snore, now I think about it?" She wonders aloud, the minute she's started speaking the snores peter out.
"magic. that's a hell of a rabbit hole if you fall down it, alice." every word is muffled by sleep and couch cushions.
"... A-Alice?"
"'curiouser and curiouser.' all that shit. my skull hurts... be kind to me and my lame references."
"Ha! That's why I d-don't drink a lot. The morning after is not worth it."
"what fixes it?"
"N-now you're asking the hard questions. B-bought more for later if you think y-you can handle it. You've got another day to h-hang after what's left of today."
"hang?"
"Hang out o-or be hung over. The meaning is entirely d-dependent on how much you drink t-tonight." She snickers.
"or... I can fix it with more beer. 's what they do in the books and movies."
"That's f-fiction." She says, while he gestures a bottle to float to his hand and flicks the cap off with a bony thumb. "...and that's not even a screw top. G-geeze."
"hey. one single weekend of almost complete freedom. what would you do?"
"...leave my pajamas on, watch anime, eat junk food and p-possibly have a drink if I felt like it at the time." She looks away from him, and he smirks.
"i really feel like it."
"Fair point." she agrees easily. She makes up some bowls of ramen for both of them, instant kind with a boiled egg in each for instant yum.
If she was at home alone, she wouldn't have worried about the egg.
Dinner passes with easy conversation, today's main topics consisting of some stories of old pranks he had pulled on Alphys' request, ones from before her time. She puts some slice of life comedy on as background noise while they eat, but neither is paying attention to it. She's trying to read him for signs of what he'd mentioned last night, but it's nigh impossible between the skillfully woven stories and bouts of laughter from the both of them and she quickly gives up.
Somewhere along the line, Alphys decides tonight that she's going to flip off tomorrow's Alphys and join Sans in the quest to get as drunk as possible.
"you okay there, alph? you said earlier you're not much of a drinker." He's drunk twice as much as her, and she giggles at the thought that he seems about half as drunk.
"I'm amazing~!" She replies, sounding breathless and giddy. The TV has been all but forgotten at this point, but neither of them has even noticed. "You're cheating somehow, I know it." She points at him in mock accusation.
He cracks up. "ha! how do you cheat at drinking?"
"I dunno." She pokes his t-shirt in the space between his ribs and pelvis. "I think it's your magic not-stomach."
"...possibly. haven't even thought about it." He is very, very amused. "though, if you really wanna think about these things, dad used to be a smoker at one point."
"Whaaaaaaat" Alphys looks shocked, then her brain starts drunkenly fumbling at the concept of skeleton's smoking. She breaks down into giggles again, which gets laughter from Sans.
"yep. maybe that's why he gets so hot under the collar so easily." Alphys laughs so hard she snorts a bit. He finishes his latest drink, and uses magic to grab another so he hasn't got to move.
"Skeletons are weird."
"never a truer word spoken." He flicks the cap and toasts to that sentiment, chuckling to himself. The buzz is starting to firmly settle in again. "hey al. while we're being young and stupid."
"Yes. Whatever it is, yes. You have the best ideas."
A small bag appears in his hand, with a small portion of dried green leaves that are shredded. A mostly empty packet of papers is also in the baggy.
"You live in a lab 24/7, how did you get that?" She asks in complete confusion.
"you have literally just watched me pull it from thin air." He states with a laugh. "but as it's been story time for about the last three hours…" he starts rolling the leaves into the paper, inexperienced and inexpert, but well enough that it sticks once he gets Alphys to lick the paper's glue strip. The baggy disappears again, a lighter in his hand instead. Alphys watches with the wonder of a child watching a magic show. "so, it's about three weeks before you started, and people are still coming in for the intern job. there's a weird cat guy who comes in smoking. as you can imagine, it went down as well as a concrete block in a tank of water with gaster."As the flame flickers to life above the metal and he takes a drag, coughing and screwing his face up at the taste.
"Why do you call him by his name so much?" Alphys asks as he passes it to her. She watches him intently, expecting smoke to come spewing from every gap in his bone structure, but it only comes from his nose and the gaps in his teeth. Well, she can still draw fanart of it looking cool as hell. She drags, spluttering as the smoke hits her lungs. She passes it back, and shakes her head before washing away the taste with more beer. That's enough of that one.
He manages to only cough once on the second drag. "because he's my boss and my doctor first." He says simply, with quiet thoughtfulness. Then he snaps out of it, back to the story. "anyway, before gaster can turn him out, i decide to show up. i was bent all out of shape that day, and making life as miserable as i could for him. hell knows why, i mean i know the doc knows why it keeps happening otherwise i am pretty sure he wouldn't put up with my shit like he does. but, anyway, gaster didn't like this guy so that meant i was pretty sure i probably would. i don't even remember what we talked about, but he was possibly the chilliest dude i have ever spoken to in my life. i asked him what his secret was. He pulled me into the most awkward and smelly hug I have ever had in my life, but he slipped me that. told me to call him if i ever needed the secret to the universe, too." Sans laughs at the absurdity of it all, and finishes up what he'd smoked while he'd been talking. "i literally never saw the guy again. i don't think i want to, either, in all honesty. gaster had good taste in the end."
Alphys blushes and giggles at that. "She thinks he could do better a lot of the time."
"then she's a fucking idiot." He says bluntly, collapsing onto her, staring up at her from her lap. "even though she's not really."
Alphys goes the same colour as a lightbulb in a darkroom. "I-I d-d-don't kn-know what t-to s-say." She manages to stammer out as Sans drains his bottle.
"hey. you've barely stuttered at all, and not since you've been drunk." He grins lazily, his cheekbones definitely showing the signs of his own alcohol consumption now. "did I make you uncomfortable?" He teases.
"N-no... if n-no means m-maybe."
"alph. c'mon. i'm serious like the plague right now. making you cry is possibly the best thing i've ever done."
She laughs hard. "You j-jerk."
"but if i didn't make you cry, i wouldn't have come to apologize. then you would have just been another face in the crowd, instead of my bestest-" he had raised his hand to pat her consolingly, but his pupils had suddenly gone wide and lost their definition, blurring out at the edges. They follow his hand as it leaves multi-colour trails behind it. "whoa."
She giggles helplessly as she watches him watching his hand, bringing the other up with it and making them make slow and hazy shapes. She can't stop giggling, and the feeling in her chest is like her heart is racing with excitement.
"no wonder he's so chill if he sees the world in rainbow. i fucking love rainbows, man. i wish we weren't underground, the first thing i would do is find a rainbow."
"W-we could make one."
"'snot the same. they're supposed to be made by refraction, reflection and dispersion of light in the sky from the sun, and i respect that. you know what else i respect? space. the sky and everything above it is amazing."
She giggles at his rambling. "you haven't seen the r-r-real sky yet."
"doesn't mean you can't respect it. that's like… like… what was I saying?"
"I. Have no idea." They both break down into giggles this time.
"We have snacks, right?"
"al. you asked the same thing ten minutes ago."
"I also asked you to move ten minutes ago to get the snacks. You told me to wait while you finished that "
"hehehe oh yeah. wait, i got this. hands free delivery service, watch."
"...Sans, the snacks need to be down here with us so we can eat them."
"or…"
"Sans! Hahaha, no Sans, not while you're- oh god, put me down! I'm not eating these up here! …. That didn't mean drop the snacks and not me, damn it!"
"hey alph… why are you hanging around up there if you want snacks? c'mon, are you high right now or somethin'?"
"Oh. My. God."
"you're laughing, that means i'm off the hook!"
"How did we manage to eat all the food?"
"there's got to be something left!" Sans climbs in the fridge trying to find something else. He's removed the shelves already. When did he do that?
"I'm so hungry I might actually starve." Alphys whines.
"hey, at least we'll match."
"What?"
His head pokes out of the fridge. "when you're skin and bone."
"Hahahaha hahaha, oh my go- wait. Why are you in the fridge?"
"just… thought i would chill out."
They both nearly pass out from laughing, and Alphys gasps out "that's not making me less hungry!"
"How the hell did you get up there?"
"i don't know but get me down."
"...Wait, when did we leave his room? And why is he naked?!"
"alph, you're not thinking in your head."
"Oh. Oops."
"and the answer to all of the above is i don't know." They both start laughing so hard neither can breathe.
"It answers the question of 'how high are you right now' though!"
"that's not helping!" He snorts through laughter.
"Just get down the same way you got up!"
"i told you i don't know." He whines, clinging to the top of the lab machine like his life depends on it. And it actually might, 1 hp is not enough to survive that fall. Alphys breaks down into laughter again.
"I know that's the truth, because I can see right through you!" She cries, tears streaming from laughter.
Which sets him off again. "i would be so proud of you right now, if i wasn't trying not to die."
"You can do both. You're a smart guy."
"that's true!" He agrees, flushing deeply at the praise and the amount of intoxicants in his system. "i don't know if that's all me though."
"W-what do you mean?" Her voice echoes around the empty hall.
"well, gaster thinks i was too young to remember, but when me and pap arrived here, he saved my life. that's why he's got the holes in his hands and face."
"Why… would that give him… hands in his holes? Shit, holes in his hands, I mean."
"magical cellular transfer. he gave up a portion of hismagic to save my life. it's why i'm so broken, probably. he looks it on the outside and i feel it on the inside."
"No, Sans. Get introspective when you are down from there. If you cry, you're going to fall. And then I'll cry because I suck at catching and you'll be dust."
"geeze, thanks for the vote of confidence."
"You're the idiot that got yourself stuck."
"i can't get stuck anywhere, i can- oh. i think i just figured out how i got up here. naked is still a question mark though."
She facepalms hard enough that it stings, even with the alcohol and passive high. "That might… leave a mark in the morning. Ouch."
"you can take your head out of your hand now." His voice comes from right next to her, and she nearly jumps out of her skin.
"How did you- fuck it, I don't want to know. Let's go back to the food."
"...and that answers why we left the room. onwards!" He runs off, and Alphys runs after him with little hope of keeping pace. He's stupidly fast. She wonders if his short size and lack of flesh makes him more aerodynamic.
"I'm telling you, bone plane would be the best and fastest plane. Short and with nothing to weight it down, it could fly forever!"
Sans doesn't even look up from the mini fridge in the staff room, dropping things into a portal that he's 67 percent sure is linked above his couch. "alph, i love the enthusiasm, but... HOW WOULD IT FLY? the wings need ...stuff… to make the airfoil shape on the wings."
"Oh. Crap."
"yeah. in other news, this is the last floor so that's the last lot of food. we should head back."
"Awww, don't wanna walk."
"hmm…. me either. c'mon." He grabs her hand and pulls her through a shortcut, just knowing that's going to be blaring alarms all over the place. Good thing they're alone.
(Gaster is roused from sleep by the alarms. He ignores it for the third time, having last actually checked it an hour ago, and every time before that when it went off. He was going to have to speak to Sans about the amount of magic he was using by being lazy and grabbing things without moving. or even moving them to him. For now, he just decides to turn his phone off and finally get some damned sleep.)
"alph. alph wake up." He nudges her, and she rolls off of the couch. She wakes with a startled shriek as she hits the floor.
"Why? And how have you not crashed yet?"
"eat something. it'll wake you back up. monster food is amazing, pure magical energy you know. everything tastes so good right now too." She hears the flick of a lighter, even as food lands next to her lap. She's pretty sure he was aiming for in her lap. And sure enough- "i miss you, alph… but my aim'll get better."
She laughs at him, starting to shove food in her face. Oh god, it really does taste amazing right now. It feels amazing in her mouth. Everything is amazing.
"everything is shit." She blinks, confused as to how they jumped from amazing to Sans flopped across her lap - still naked, she might add - frustration in every layer of his voice and claiming everything is terrible.
"How did we… what happened?"
"jesus, al. we ran out of food. again. and we're sharing the last beer." She looks at the cold thing in her hand, and passes it to him. He drains it, and belches. "were sharing the last beer."
"I could just got the store again tomorrow."
"we could do it tonight!"
"Not a good idea."
"fine." he sighs again, and pushes his feet out against the arm of the couch, which slides him on her lap like a lazy cat. She feels a gentle shudder go through his frame. "oh my god, your jammies feel so good on my bones. so fluffy." He creases and uncreases himself on her lap like some sort of weird and boney concertina, unaware that the rubbing is making heat and blood rise to his friend's face.
"P-please stop that." She whispers shakily. The tone catches him off guard, making him pause mid-stretch. He looks up and she buries her face in her hands, trying to hide her shame.
"oh." He slides off of her, ever observant. "sorry, didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"N-no, it's…f-fine." she flushes again. "Let's t-talk about something else. Please?"
"do... you want me to… go put… something on?"
"No, you don't have to."
"...o…k?" He looks at her, puzzled, trying to think through a haze of drunk and high. The come down that had been slowly creeping into his mood threatens to hit him full force, so he decides to sit on the floor and grab him the last of the relaxation that his furry little cat-man angel had imparted onto him. He rolls quickly, having got the hang of it before the last one he made. Enough for one left afterwards. He wonders idly if he can ever get that guy's number, but also knows that sober him is probably going to thoroughly regret tonight and never bother. "c'mon sober sans, do a brother a favour." He mutters to himself.
"Really?" He hears the question from above him, somewhere solidly between amusement and disapproval.
"what?"
"You get any higher and it'll be the ceiling I am peeling you from, not the lab equipment."
"you peeled me from nothing, if i remember correctly." He lights up, the smoke soothes his soul and pushes the downer out on the exhale.
"How did you get down?"
"the same way i got up, just like you said." he grins hazily at her. Well, the ceiling, which has decided to oh-so-slowly start spinning. It looks cool as fuck.
"And?" Alphys' colour is returning to normal.
He shrugs. "i remembered i could teleport."
"How do you forget you ca- whaaaaaat?" She looks over the edge of the couch to where he has laid himself down on the floor.
"hehe, peek-a-boo." He giggles lazily.
"Sans, focus. You can what now?"
"pfffft, i forgot what i was saying." He blows her question away on his next exhale, giggling again. "you feeling better now alph?"
"Yeah."
"cool. the fuck wazzat?"
"What?" she has to giggle at the definite slur in his words. He sounds hilarious right now.
"you looked like you were about to keel over."
"I… uhh… everything feels really good right now. Everything."
It takes him a lot longer than it might normally, but it clicks eventually. "oh. you know, i have no idea if-"
"No!" She squeals in embarrassment, cutting him off. "I don't… think of you like that."
"oh. fair enough." He shrugs. The smoke is doing it's job, and it doesn't cut him like it might have otherwise done. "i'm really bad at not taking things to heart, alph."
"I've noticed. I'm sorry. I love you with all my heart, but completely platonically."
"please sound more patronising." The comfortable bubble he's in makes him giggle though, bursting the sad thoughts before they can root and filling him with synthetic amusement. Shit, his life is terrible and that fact alone at the moment is hilarious.
Alphys joins him on the floor, laying back and settling her shoulders under his armpit so there's no gap between them, and he laughs for a while longer.
man, the stars look amazing. He reaches a hand up towards his bedroom ceiling, trying to touch them. They are as out of reach as the real thing. Holy crap, that was deep. He should write that down somewhere. Alphys is laid on top of him, her back against his chest and looking up at his ceiling too. The fairy lights twinkle at them.
"They really do look amazing right now, this was a great suggestion." She sighs contentedly.
"gaster put it in when they rebuilt."
"Rebuilt?"
"you've heard the story." Wait, if she's on top of him, did they- no, she still has clothes. Good.
"Oh." She goes quiet, then speaks up again. "Sans … can you tell me the story?"
"why?"
"I've never heard it from your point of view, you know?"
"there's not much to tell on my end."
"What do you mean?"
"i don't remember it. i remember going into the bathroom, trying to to stop crying. i wanted to go home. i'd been here five damned years, and i was tired of being patient. i spoke to my night attendant, but little me realised that you don't get friends in here. apparently i snapped and started to tear the building down, but i don't remember any of that after going to the bathroom. Hell, it was three years after the fact that I could willingly muster an attack without being shot at first."
"Oh… that's why you told me you didn't want my name. Is that right?"
"yep."
"What changed your mind?"
"gaster calling me out on my bullshit."
"Oh."
"yep."
"...It's... weird. He does so much for you, but so little at the same time. I mean, you really don't help, but sometimes I wanna grab him and shake him and tell at him to pick a lane and stay in it."
"eh, it's probably all my fault somehow." he shrugs with a chuckle.
"Has he told you that?"
"never. doesn't mean he doesn't think it."
"Because you think it doesn't mean he does." She sighs softly. "And you're wrong."
"What… do you mean?"
"Sans! Where the h-hell did you go?" He can hear her voice echoing around the empty lab. He's in his thinking place, the gap between the generator and the corner of the room. he'd purposely left that corner here when he rebuilt the old girl. But how did he get here. Why was he here? "I-I'm sorry! N-now please, come out!"
The hum of the generator did nothing to soothe him in this moment. He rests his forehead on his kneecaps. Every urge at him is screams to stay quiet, so he must be… hiding? Did they argue? His cheekbones feel damp, so maybe…?
The human of the machine buzzes through his skull in the most important ways; keeping his mind full and thoughts away.
Why was he feeling upset right now? Fuck it, doesn't matter. what happens while blackout drunk doesn't count. He shifts out from behind the machinery, And scoots himself to the middle of the room, and crosses his legs, before-
"polo!"
Footsteps turn into a run somewhere close by. "Marco?"
He debates cheating, and laughs at the idea. "polo."
There's another longish pause, then he hears the door in the room the generator room backs onto. "M-marco?"
"polo."
He hears her sigh with relief, and the door seperating them opens. She hesitantly hangs in the door, also looking like she's been crying.
"Sans? I'm really sorry. I-I-I don't know what I was thinking."
"'sall good. too buzzed for secrets and lies this weekend." He grins at her. "Besides, you're forgiven anyway because I can't remember what the hell we were talking about so there's no point in being sad and mopey about it."
"...r-really?"
"yep!" He extends his arms and stretches out his legs. "c'mon buddy."
She all but dives in for the forgiveness hug. "I k-kinda wish you were this tactile all the time." She mumbles as she rests her chin on his clavicle. She has to wonder how the clothes look so filled… he's definitely just a skeleton. "Somehow you give amazing hugs. Especially for a naked skeleton. Why are you naked again?"
"they're like magic. all about the intent." He wraps around her, and links his hands up and knot his feet together. She suddenly realises what has happened. "and I still have no idea."
"No, Sans, please."
"this can be your punishment for … whatever happened. i only come here when i'm real upset, so you probably owe me this." they're pretty much the same size, but he's so light that alphys can't help but marvel at it.
"God- fine, fine." She stands, and manoeuvres the little bony sloth to her back so she can at least walk properly. He's knotted himself around her enough that he's well clear of the floor despite them not having that much of a height difference. "But surely it doesn't count if you don't remember what you're upset over."
"hmmm… if a tree falls over and no one's there to hear it, does it still makes sound?"
"That's… n-not even m-mildly related. And ph-philosophising while in your state is probably the worst thing you can do."
He laughs low and dopey in her ear, and she feels her anxiousness melt away somewhat.
"'kay then, if a tree falls over and no-one's there to find it, is it still fallen over?"
"Yes."
"'xactly."
"...oh. sorry."
"and the answer to the last question is also yes, the impact would still produce soundwaves. now... if it fell over in a vacuum, that would make the answer no. the always correct answer is always that philophisists are stupid."
She laughs, and is glad he seems to be feeling better. "Philosophists. And that's pretty sound logic."
He laughs so hard she has to adjust her grip in case she drops him. "'m such a good influence."
"I'm drunk as a damned skunk, I would say the opposite is t-true."
"hey, hey, hey. incorrect. today you started drinkin' of your own choice."
"Yesterday."
"what?"
"We've been at this for…" she pulls her phone out, and shows him the time. "Like, 18 hours. We have work in 24."
He stares at the time over her shoulder. "twenty three hours and thirty four minutes."
"Oh my god."
"i like time. and space." She feels him relax against her. "quantum mechanics is interesting. and useful once you know what you wanna do with it."
She shifts her grip again as he gestures vaguely with a hand. "Don't let go, I'm so short I'll dro-" the world feels like it's dropping around them, tilting and lurching all of a sudden - similar to what happened when she had found herself at the other end of the blackout that found Sans a hundred foot off the ground but less… permanent? She wasn't sure how to describe it, but as she's thinking about it, she crashes into a wall. "Ow, what just happened?"
Sans, who apparently let himself drop before impact, is rolling on the floor laughing. "sorry. i aimed high, and i missed it." He starts laughing harder. And suddenly stops because the inevitable crash, from using and not keeping track of his magic, and drunken stupor has set in where he no longer has the helpful magical energies from the bulk of the food, and he just passes right the fuck out then and rubs her nose, debating on leaving him where he is, but decides to put him on the couch anyway because she's a great friend. Wait. couch? Her head flicks left and right, confused as hell. They hadn't even taken the elevator, how were they back in the room already?
"...I'm way too drunk for this."
She retrieves and dumps Sans on the couch, then settles for the floor. As she lays down, a bony hand wraps around her wrist.
"z'nufr'm." The words he is trying for all blur in as he doesn't even wake to say them. But she gets what he's trying for, andshe shifts him enough that she can get on the couch behind him with her back to the back of it, and he sighs contentedly as he curls into her chest. Oh. My. God. She feels a fluster rising through her cheeks, and does her best to ignore it. He's so tiny. And cute! Really cute. But not in a hot way. He's one of the few people I haven't found hot. Oh stars, am I a racist? No, because Dr. Gaster is definitely hot, just his son that doesn't… float my bone-plane. Hahahaha, that's hilarious, need to tell Sans when he's awake. Or not, he might be offended. It's hard to tell sometimes. At least he was pretty happy this weekend, until I stuck my foot in it. Mind you, he didn't seem all that bothered once I had found him. Thank heavens for blackout drunk? Well, no, because that's how he nearly ended up stuck on top of the equipment, and Doctor Gaster would have been pissed if we hand's the for him down. How did he get down? I can't remember what he was saying about it. Did he fall? Oh god, what if he hadn't been able to get down? Oh god, oh god, Doctor Gaster would have stepped in over us being friends. He might have me change teams! I sure as hell won't be able to do this again with him. I could lose my friend or my job. Or both. Then I won't have a future and never move out of my stupid box apartment in the capital which is way too crowded and everyone will hate me and Sans will hate me and I won't be able to- won't be able to- Oh god, oh god, oh god-
Bony hands on her face pull her out of her internal ramblings, she can feel herself curled up sat upright and struggling to breath. She's soaked with sweat. Concern is in wavering pupils, looking very very tired as if he's barely able to hold himself up and awake, but looking 300 percent more sober. "deep breaths. in, 1,2,3,4,5, out. ride it out, it'll pass. c'mon Al, 'snot the first."
He keeps reassuring her in a low voice, and she finds herself focusing on the sound of it slowly, following the advice and the counts. It's only a couple of minutes - far from the worst - and it leaves her feeling drained and empty, ready to sleep. He pushes her down to her side again, laying her down, and she feels her eyes drifting closed. Despite the fact he's all bone, he registers as warm against her when he settles himself back in.
"good?"
"I-I think so. Thanks."
She feels him shrug, and considering he'd managed to drag himself out of a crash sleep to help her, she's half-impressed that he's still awake enough to do so now he's laid back down. His voice is heavy with exhaustion as he mumbles "need to talk 'bout it?"
"Later. You're g-going to p-pass out again."
"i'll be fii-" he yawns, and she shakes her head fondly. "fine for a little bit longer."
"I'm t-tired too."
"oh. okay. in the morning then." And he drops out like a light. The slow rhythm of his breathing soothes her into her own sleep.
They both awaken in the late evening, and both are very sore in the head, and Alphys thinks she might puke if she moves. Sans rubs a hand over his itchy eyesockets as his head pounds to the beat of it's own invisible drum.
"ugh, what happened?"
"It's k-kind of hazy." She replies without moving.
"i remember food. a lot of food." Alphys' stomach flips over on itself at the mention of food. She groans, and a trashcan is moved beside her head as Sans sits up. "why the hell am I naked?"
"I r-r-remember asking that a l-lot last night." She bends over, resting her head on the cool rim of the trash can. "I d-don't think I actually got an answer. I d-don't think you knew, t-t-to be honest."
He groans, before heaving himself up to make coffee. He opens the fridge to grab milk, and freezes.
"uh, al?"
"Mmmmrrrn"
"any idea where the milk is? the fridge is literally empty."
"I don't want milk, I just wanna die." She groans.
"coffee should help with that." He states, looking around the kitchen area puzzled as the beverage filters down into the pot noisily. Then the true extent of the mess that was his living area sinks in. "he's gonna kill me."
"Us. He's g-gonna k-kill us. I helped make the mess, I'm taking half the blame."
"that's real sweet, alph, but don't get yourself in trouble."
"B-besides, we can clean it up."
"if you think he's not going to watch two days of footage, you're either more optimistic then I gave you credit for or stupider. and I still can't find the milk." The words are softened by the cup of black coffee he presses into her claws. She drinks it regardless of milk, feeling the caffeine wake up all her nerve endings like a kick to her brain. "speaking of optimism, or a lack there-of, you feeling better this morning?"
"Oh, I'd kind of forgotten… yeah, thanks. You really helped last night."
"no worries. and hey, if you need to talk? we've both lost the right to judge one another this weekend." He chuckles, the few bits that either of them can remember backing the words. "the lab is now officially a neutral zone… well, this bit."
"Yeah, that actually makes me feel a bit better." She pulls her feet and tail up onto the couch, claws wrapping around the hot cup. "It was silly, really."
"neutral zone, remember." He nudges her with a shoulder.
She smiles, which turns into a chuckle as she realizes she was nudged with bare bone. "Does that count for you still being naked?"
"oh, sh- you know what? yeah. serious sans the naked skelly is taking your call. how can I help?"
She snorts into her cup, feeling three thousand times better than half an hour ago. "If naked sans is serious sans, can we hire him in the lab instead?" She smirks at him.
"no, you'd miss the skelepun you work with."
She chokes on her mouthful as she does a small spit take. "Oh my God."
But he's not wrong.
They talk over Alphys' worries, Sans finally gets less naked, and they decide that Alphys is going to go get food while Sans tidies. This is fine by him, he just sits on the couch and puts on stein's gate to watch again while lazily using blue magic to drift the debris into the trash can and put the shelves back in the fridge. She's still out when he hears the lined phone in his room ring. Damn, he really should speak to Gaster about getting a cell so he doesn't have to get up to answer the thing. He hits pause, and wanders into his room. Expecting it to be Alphys calling asking about something she's not sure if she should buy, he answers with:
"skelepun hotline, talk fast because i'm in the middle of a book of anti-gravity and i can't put it down." Then the sound of a familiar joke-related aneurysm happening, and it's like music to his ears. He feels himself grinning. "hey pap."
"THIS IS THE LAST TIME I CALL YOU IF YOU'RE GOING TO START FROM THE MOMENT YOU PICK UP."
Sans laughs. "don't worry, i thought you were alph."
"I THOUGHT SHE WAS STAYING WITH YOU."
"we ran out of food."
"OF COURSE YOU DID." Papyrus sighs. "I DO NOT EXPECT YOU TO BE AS WELL PREPARED AS THE GREAT PAPYRUS WOULD BE IF I HAD FRIENDS AROUND TO SLEEP OVER. OR IF I HAD… FRIENDS AT ALL."
"aw, c'mon bro, it'll happen." Sans reassures him as he sits down on the edge of his bed. "people are just too intimidated by how awesome you are, i keep telling ya." Papyrus just hmmms disbelievingly, which make Sans sigh softly. "you're still having trouble, huh?"
"NO." The break in his voice betrays the lie.
"what happened?"
"WELL… NO, YOU'RE HAVING A FUN WEEKEND WITH YOUR FRIEND WATCHING BABY CARTOONS. TELL ME ABOUT THAT."
"trust me, you don't want to go showing babies the stuff we watched this weekend." He willingly takes the bait Papyrus dangles in front of him. He knows his brother, and knows that when he's ready he'll talk to him. God help whoever this undyne chick is if it's her again. "but we didn't really do all that much watching in the end."
"OH HO?!" Oh. Shit. He just heard that tone.
"papyrus, no!"
"THE GREAT PAPYRUS, YES! DID YOU FINALLY CONFESS YOUR FEELINGS FOR HER AND BATHE HER IN A SHOWER OF KISSES AND… WHATEVER ELSE PEOPLE DO WHEN THEY LOVE ONE ANOTHER?"
"pap, no!" He bangs his head on the side table, too hung over and too hungry for this. "even if it was like that, which it's not, she doesn't feel that way-"
"ARE YOU SURE? EVEN WITH YOUR PUNS, YOU ARE… VERY GREAT. NOT AS GREAT AS ME, OF COURSE, BUT YOU COULD BE IF YOU STOPPED BEING A BONEHEAD."
"-and even if she did" he continues as if papyrus hadn't spoken, but feeling himself grinning hard at the praise. "i love her like i love you."
"OH." it takes Papyrus a moment to process this. Sans starts to worry he might have hurt Papyrus' feelings by comparing her to a little sister, but then the ever optimistic skeleton replies ecstatically "OH! THAT'S VERY GOOD NEWS! IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU MADE A FRIEND! AND EVEN BETTER THAT YOU'VE MADE A SISTER-FRIEND! I'M VERY HAPPY FOR YOU!"
"...thanks pap." He's pleased and relieved that Papyrus approves.
"ESPECIALLY AS YOU MADE HER CRY."
"of course he told you about that." He has to laugh, though.
"MAYBE THAT'S WHERE I AM GOING WRONG! HOW CAN I MAKE UNDYNE CRY?" That just makes Sans laugh harder. "WHAT? WHAT ARE YOU LAUGHING AT? SANS!"
"bro, that's a terrible idea. but i'll make her cry for you if you bring her to visit, if you really want."
"OKAY... I THINK I GET IT. THE SECRET IS TO MAKE YOU MAKE THEM CRY! THEN I CAN BE THERE TO DRY HER TEARS…? THAT SOUNDS LIKE… A FANTASTIC IDEA! AS SOON AS I CAN CONVINCE HER, I WILL LET YOU KNOW! GOOD BYE, BROTHER, HAVE FUN WITH YOUR SISTER-FRIEND!" He's met with the dial tone, and Sans has to marvel at what the hell just happened. He shakes his head fondly, and hangs the phone back on it's hook. He turns, and sees Alphys stood in the door, shaking with silent laughter.
"yeah, yeah, laugh it up."
They're sat with a plate of green and leafy crap but Sans is eating it, if somewhat reluctantly. Alphys looks just as reluctant, but she had mumbled something about a vitamin boost. She was right, they probably needed something at least a little healthy after the weekend.
"S-sister-friend, huh?" She grins, blushing.
"uhh…" he feels a metaphorical spotlight shine down on him awkwardly. "how long were you stood there?"
"I came in around the t-time that you threatened to beat up a teenager." She sniggers.
"I never threatened that." He says with a too-sweet grin.
"Sorry. To m-make her cry, then." She replies with laugh.
"his plan is infallible." Sans snickers. "except for everything about it. and besides, she's apparently older than him."
"B-but younger than you."
"your point?"
"I haven't got one, I was just m-m-making sure." She shrugs easily, before chewing and swallowing another mouthful. "He's-"
"-utterly clueless?"
"Sweet, is what I was actually g-going to say."
"you should hang with us next time he comes in."
"I d-don't want to intrude." She says, putting her plate aside. "I know how much your time with him means to you."
"well, you're welcome if you want to."
"Thanks." She smiles at the offer. Then she notices what is on pause on the TV. "I had a feeling you would like that one e-especially."
"yeah, it's… strange... speaks to me in a way, i guess." He shrugs, and hits play. Nothing else to say between them, they settle on the couch, leafy meals completely forgotten as they settle in to watch again. The hours pass quickly, and soon it's time for bed. This time, Sans insists on Alphys taking the bed and him the couch, taking up as much space as possible on it. She shakes her head at him, and acquiesces with a teasing rib about how snuggly he is much to his embarrassment.
Monday morning rolls around, and they both shower and set to work with identically light souls and happy grins on their seperate projects. Gaster's got his own grin as he watches them stroll in and part ways. Until he watches back the video feeds, of course. Then he's just laughing his ass off most of the time, reminded of himself during his college years. Maybe he should give Grillby a call not work related at some point. Or at all, seeing as how they've lost touch since he moved him and Papyrus to the capital.
He should definitely do that.