I had expected a few comments about Olivia's need for alone time, and alone time with her baby (and Elliot). I only got one comment about it, but I still want to clarify. Honestly, I feel it's very realistic. I know many fanfic writers have her fawning over Elliot's kids and enjoying the huge instant household because she never had that as a child. But I can tell you from experience that it's a huge adjustment for someone who has spent years and years on her own. She loves Elliot's kids and will never refuse them, but she is allowed her own feelings and needs, especially her need to be alone with Elliot and her baby at times. In this story, Elliot understands this too, as we will see.

I'm trying to move the story along in this chapter and I hope it won't feel rushed. Enjoy!

...

44. Cocooning

Elliot is definitely keeping his word, making sure Olivia has time to relax and mentally prepare for her baby's arrival. He doesn't burden her too much with information about Kathy and only gives her the headlines. Kathy has reluctantly agreed to counseling, and will be going to a clinic for a few days to detox and to give her therapy a strong start. As it turns out, she has only experimented with meth twice and knows very well that she shouldn't allow herself to lose control like that, or she might lose custody of her children after all. Elliot has every intention to have Narcotics go after the man who had been trying to get Kathy hooked on the drug.

Elliot stays in Queens with the kids for a few days while Kathy is away but he also makes time for Olivia by arranging a romantic dinner for two for them in the middle of the week at an Italian restaurant.

When Olivia finally signs up for a basic breathing class to prepare for the inevitable labor she will need to get through, Elliot offers to go with her after work. At first, she hadn't even wanted to go to a class because she'd expected to be surrounded by extremely young and giddy first-time moms. But after doing some reading and a little prodding from Elliot, and since Elliot has first hand experience being an assistant, she decides to go after all.

"Are the kids going to be alright?" she asks Elliot when they are putting on their coats, getting ready to leave the precinct.

"Yep. They can get home from school on their own. They're not little anymore."

"Alright. But soccer boy is. Are you sure you want to do this all over again?" Olivia asks him with a smirk.

Elliot glances around but they are alone in the squad room. He still keeps his voice down when he tells her with a laugh,

"Are you kidding? I want nothing more than to do it all over again, with you."

He adjusts the collar of her coat and then tugs her towards him by her collar to kiss her sweetly on the nose. Olivia wraps her arms around him to hold him for a moment. He is being so perfect under the circumstances and she can't help wondering if he'd want even more kids.

"Do you really mean that?" she asks him softly, leaning her temple against his cheek. "You'd want another one?"

Elliot's arms wrap around her and he holds her as close as her belly will allow.

"Yes," he tells her softly. "I'd love to have more babies with you."

Olivia ducks underneath his chin to hide the tears that suddenly blur her vision and Elliot pats her back lovingly.

"Now let's go. We can't be late for breathing class."

Olivia turns away from him but when she hears him chuckling, she turns around and attempts to glare at him. She fails miserably when a tear finds its way down her cheek and she drops her shoulders, shaking her head in defeat. Elliot wisely doesn't comment and they head out.

…

"I have officially changed my mind," Olivia mumbles as the breathing instructor wraps up their little class.

It hadn't been too bad, with only five other moms-to-be who aren't all in their early twenties like Olivia had feared. Two of the women have given birth before, but after the instructor gives them some rather graphic information about what will actually happen to their bodies before, during and after giving birth, Olivia can't imagine anyone going through the process more than once voluntarily.

She and Elliot are still sitting on their mat, her back resting against his chest, but when the others start to get up, Olivia turns towards him as well.

"A hand?" she asks him and she envies him when he hops up easily and then holds out his hand to her.

"Soon," he tells her, sensing her discomfort. "Your body will go back to normal soon, I promise."

She can't imagine it yet. How will her enormous belly ever disappear again? She'll have a big, empty bag made of skin hanging from her body indefinitely, she's sure of it. Elliot just laughs at her, which doesn't exactly take away her concern. He slips his hand in hers and they walk out of the room hand in hand.

"Remember people, same time next week! The only valid excuse for not showing up is actually giving birth!" the cheerful instructor shouts.

Only one of the women hopes to give birth before their next class and they expect to see the rest again next week.

"So what have you changed your mind about?" Elliot asks Olivia once they are out of earshot of the others and walk back to the car.

"Having the kid," Olivia says dryly. "I think I just won't. My body will never recover."

Elliot just grins at her and that doesn't exactly improve her mood. She's always touted how strong women are and how they have put every single man alive on the planet, but now that it's almost her turn, she doesn't feel as brave about it as she had hoped.

"You'll be fine. In fact, you'll be more than fine. You're the strongest person I know, period."

Olivia sighs but lets it go for now. Elliot is probably right. She isn't the first woman to gain this much weight during a pregnancy and most women bounce back after a while. She is going to have her next checkup in a few days, and she will be 36 weeks along then. She is considering asking Cragen if she can take some leave after the appointment because her body is really beginning to protest against getting up early and sitting at her desk all day long. Her legs are cramped and she wonders if she's starting to hold water because she can barely get her shoes on and off anymore.

Elliot takes her home and helps her get settled on the couch with some food before he has to return to Queens to make sure the children eat as well.

"Kathy's coming home tomorrow night, so I'll be sleeping next to you again then," he promises.

"Do you think she'll be alright with the kids?" Olivia asks.

She can't help being concerned for the children's wellbeing. What if therapy is making Kathy unstable for a while? Or rather, even more unstable than before?

"Maureen is going to stay over during the weekend and keep an eye out, but I have no doubt that Kathy won't do anything to jeopardize the children in any way."

Elliot has always been confident about Kathy's abilities to take care of the kids, and he isn't wavering despite the circumstances. Olivia decides not to argue with him, and waves him off. She is already looking forward to tomorrow, when Elliot will sleep by her side again. She's gotten used to having him there and that is a very welcome change. Before, she had a hard time actually sleeping when there was someone else in bed with her. She preferred taking her boyfriends or dates to their place, so she could leave afterwards and go home alone.

It's different this time and she knows that's because this is Elliot. They have always had a special connection and their bond has only grown over the course of her pregnancy. She feels safe with Elliot in a way she has never felt safe with anyone before. She'd already felt safe with him when they were just partners, and that sense of security has multiplied now. It's what she wants for her son as well, for him to have a place where he knows he's safe and loved and accepted. Where he can laugh and cry and act out, and no matter what he does, he'll always belong there. It's something both she and Elliot have never had themselves but Elliot has already proven that it's possible for damaged people to have a healthy, loving family. They're going to make it work for soccer boy as well. And maybe another little Stabler kid …

Olivia smiles and rubs her belly lovingly while the image of two children floats around in her head. He'd actually want another child with her. A little brother or sister for soccer boy to play with. Her son gives her a firm kick as if he is agreeing that this is a great idea. He is going to have a big family of people who love him. Elliot and her, their squad and Elliot's family. While she is enjoying the quiet before the storm, she is already looking forward to that new life that she is going to get.

…

Olivia has spent the day inside the apartment and wonders when she changed and became so fond of cocooning. She has finally asked Cragen for some time off and he has told her to go home and not come back until her child is at least a month old. She has enough vacation days to last her several months and she is gladly accepting Cragen's suggestion.

Her 36-week checkup has gone fine. She has checkups weekly now, as her due date approaches, and Elliot tags along as much as possible. He is back home with her and Kathy seems to be making progress. Olivia hopes that the woman's suspicions about Elliot cheating on her will turn out to be related to her illness, and that Kathy will come around eventually. It would be easier for all parties involved, especially Elliot.

She can tell that it's hard for Elliot to keep all the plates spinning and he looks so tired when he comes home. She decides to surprise him tonight with a romantic, candlelit dinner for two and a nice backrub. She isn't agile enough anymore to give him a full massage, but she can still manage his shoulders and neck. After checking with Munch that Elliot is in fact coming home for dinner, she gets everything ready. The dinner table looks very nice and she's even gotten them some alcohol free bubbles for the occasion. The massage oil and a towel are ready on the couch and the lights are dimmed in the living room.

Olivia sits down at the dinner table to wait for Elliot, and feels another Braxton Hicks. She decides to put her new breathing techniques to good use, even if this isn't a real contraction yet. Don't tighten your muscles and don't hold your breath. Relax consciously and keep breathing regularly. She can feel her body absorbing the tightness of her belly and has to admit there is something to that breathing class after all. She remembers how supportive Elliot was during the class, trying to act like it was all new to him while she knows he's done it at least three times before. He really wants her to have the full experience as a first-time mom and she loves him for it.

Elliot should be home any minute and she checks on dinner one last time when she hears a knock on the door. Olivia frowns.

"Come on El? You forgot your keys again?" she mutters, wobbling to the door.

Then she adds, a little louder,

"Who's there? No solicitors please!"

She hears another knock and then a hesitant voice, saying her name.

"Olivia?"

She frowns again. That doesn't sound like Elliot. She opens the door a crack without taking off the chain and peers into the hallway. It's not Elliot at all. It's …

"Miguel?"

…

Uh oh. Nice timing Miguel! I thought you were going to call ahead. And Elliot is coming home soon. How is this going to go?