I actually wrote most of this while on vacation! How's that for dedication? Or is it obsession …? :D
Now I am aware that medical procedures are different from country to country so anything odd you may read here can be attributed to those differences between your country and mine. I am using the experiences of myself and people I know. And since epidurals are uncommon here, Olivia doesn't get one either. Did I say epidural? Is the baby coming? I guess he is!
...
47. Birth
The Stabler girls arrive and there is a flurry of activity and chatter in the apartment suddenly. Olivia just lets it happen, sitting comfortably on the couch. Elliot has warned her she is not to lift a finger, and like he expected, the girls are eager to serve her food and make sure she stays off her feet. Olivia doesn't mind. She's just happy to see Elliot so happy. He's an amazing father and she loves watching him interact with his kids. She opts out of the board games this time and decides to take a nap. She's felt that twinge in her back again, about an hour and a half after the first time. She hasn't told Elliot about it yet but she knows she needs to take notice of these changes in her body. Dr. Simmons has told her during her latest check-up that the baby is already in the right position, head down, and she can tell that he's positioned a little lower than before now. Dr. Simmons has told her that it's perfectly normal for her baby to move around less now, because there is hardly any room left inside her belly for him to move around. He kicks her stomach every now and then though. It's not a pleasant feeling but it's reassuring all the same. She needs to feel him regularly to know he's still doing well.
Olivia is very surprised when Elliot wakes her up to tell her it's time for dinner. She's slept for hours and wonders if she's had any contractions during that time. They can't have been very serious or she would have woken up, but she still thinks something is going on.
Kathleen and Elizabeth present them with a modern Stabler dinner as they call it, and it's an actual three course meal. Elliot beams with pride as the two girls serve them very professionally. They start with a light vegetable soup. The main course is Chicken Fajita, consisting of stir fried vegetables and slices of chicken to be put on tortillas with guacamole or sour cream. Even dessert is home-made, a variety of canned fruits sliced into small pieces, with lemon ice cream and whipped cream.
"Dad told us lemon is your favorite ice cream," Elizabeth tells her and Olivia smiles at Elliot.
"Thank you Lizzie. I really appreciate all of this," she tells Elliot's youngest daughter.
"It's okay. We like to cook," Elizabeth says matter-of-factly and Elliot winks at Olivia.
Once they have all eaten, Olivia leans back in her seat and frowns when she feels another twinge of pain in her lower back.
"You okay?" Elliot asks her quietly, and immediately two other sets of blue eyes are looking at her.
"Yeah, I'm fine," she says quickly, causing Elliot to raise an eyebrow.
She looks into his eyes, trying very hard to convey a silent message to him not to worry the girls. Elliot seems to understand, but once the girls offer to clean up and Olivia stands up, Elliot pulls her aside. He holds her left bicep lightly with his right hand and moves his mouth close to her ear when he asks her softly,
"What's going on?"
"I'm not sure El. But whatever it is, it isn't an emergency yet," she whispers back.
They move to the couch but Elliot isn't done.
"Yet? You think it's starting?" he asks her, keeping his voice down but she can still hear his concern.
"I don't know. I'm checking the clock whenever I feel something but there's no real pattern to it."
"What are you feeling?"
Olivia glances behind her at the girls, but they are busy rinsing plates and loading the dishwasher.
"Just these twinges of pain in my lower back combined with a tightness in my belly."
"Those could be contractions Liv."
"I know."
"How long have you been having them?"
"The back pains are new. Since this morning I think."
"What time?"
Olivia sighs. She should have expected Elliot to be like this.
"I'll start writing down the times. We'll see soon enough if there's a pattern."
"Sounds good," Elliot agrees and he goes to find a notepad for her.
Olivia is glad the girls haven't noticed anything yet.
…
There is a pattern. It's undeniable and they both know it. The contractions aren't particularly painful yet but the time in between has been decreasing gradually. As soon as the girls were asleep, Elliot had joined Olivia in her room. They both haven't slept a wink and finally at 5 AM on Sunday morning, Olivia uses the special phone number Dr. Simmons had given her.
"Thirty minutes?" the night nurse says. "Alright. Just get your things and come to the hospital. There is no rush since your water hasn't broken so drive safely, okay?"
"But isn't it too early?" Olivia asks.
Until now she has tried to suppress her concern but since this is one of the nurses who works with Dr. Simmons, she can finally ask an expert.
"Your baby looked just fine last week, good growth and he's in position. We will check if you're dilating once you get here. 37 weeks and 6 days isn't premature Ms. Benson. Maybe we can try to get him to stay in a little longer, but they usually have a good reason to want to come out. Try not to worry about it. We have everything ready here to help you deliver your son safely if he decides it's time."
After ending the call, Olivia looks at Elliot, who is sitting next to her on the foot of her bed and is rubbing her back gently. She feels reassured for now.
"This is it," Elliot says softly, almost reverently.
"The girls," Olivia replies. "I guess you have to stay with them."
Elliot's eyes widen as if he can't believe what she is saying.
"I'm not missing this for the world Liv!" he huffs. "I'll talk to them."
Elliot urges her to check her hospital bag one last time before he leaves her room to talk to his daughters. Within two minutes there is a knock on her door, and two blonde heads with messy hair peek around it.
"Olivia? Is the baby coming already?" Elizabeth asks softly.
"We want to come!" Kathleen blurts out immediately. "We'll be quiet and dad said we could come if we're quiet and stay in the waiting room."
"We can do that," Elizabeth adds quickly. "I can bring a book to read."
"Me too," Kathleen says with a serious nod. The 15-year old isn't really a reader and they all know it, but Olivia doesn't have the heart to refuse the excited young girls. Besides, what else can they do? She really does want Elliot to come with her, and the only other alternative will be to call Kathy. It's not a difficult choice to make.
Elliot appears behind his daughters and the adults exchange a look before Olivia forces a smile and tells the girls to get ready to leave.
"Five minutes," Elliot adds but the girls are already rushing back to their room to get dressed.
Elliot sits down next to Olivia again.
"I'm sorry Liv," he starts but Olivia puts a hand on his thigh.
"It's alright. They're excited about the baby."
"And you? Are you ready for this?"
She looks into his blue eyes, that are filled with love and concern. Is she ready for this? She looks down at her belly and rubs it gently with her free hand.
"I guess so El. If he's ready, I can't let him down."
As if on cue, she feels her body tighten again, and her breathing exercises kick in instantly. This isn't just a twinge of back pain anymore and she groans softly while she lets the contraction wash over her, focusing on relaxing her muscles until the wave of discomfort subsides. She looks at Elliot then and he nods. They have to leave for the hospital. Now.
…
The night nurse had already paged Dr. Simmons and she is waiting for them at the hospital. She seems mildly surprised to see the girls with them but Elliot quickly explains the situation. He makes sure the girls are comfortable in the waiting room nearby with some snacks while Olivia is fitted with an external contraction monitor around her belly. Since she isn't the only patient who may be in labor, Dr. Simmons tells her she will be back soon to take a look at the readout of the monitor. Meanwhile, the nurses will check Olivia's vital signs from time to time. Olivia just lets it all happen and closes her eyes when she feels another contraction coming.
This is it baby, she tells her child silently. I'm finally going to meet you.
She opens her eyes when she feels warm hands close around her right hand. Elliot is here and it's all she needs.
"Girls okay?" she asks him and Elliot nods.
"They're super excited to meet the baby but they promised me they would wait patiently down the hall. The nurses are keeping an eye on them, too."
"That's good."
"It's going to be fine Liv. You and soccer boy are strong."
She smiles at him. Elliot is tense but he has faith in her. Then her smile fades and Elliot leans in, instantly concerned.
"What is it baby?"
"It's … we … we haven't even decided on a name yet!" she stammers, suddenly realizing that her child may actually be born today. "We can't keep calling him soccer boy!"
Elliot laughs out loud and Olivia chuckles too. It lifts the tension for both of them and Olivia is still grinning when they go over the names once more.
…
She's already five centimeters dilated and when her water suddenly breaks her body takes over. There is no stopping her son's birth now and no medical reason to try and delay it. Elliot can't do much. She can't bear to be touched at all during a contraction but she wants him close in between. Her focus is on the pain and on the process she is in but she still needs Elliot to be there, so they can remember everything together. The pain is getting more intense but she has refused pain relief. Dr. Simmons expects a smooth and quick birth and because of Olivia's low blood pressure she has advised against an epidural. Olivia has agreed not to take any kind of pain relief. She wants to experience all of it. This is the only pain she knows that serves a purpose. She's bringing a new life into this world. Her thoughts drift to her mother briefly. It must have been so different for her, giving birth to the child of her rapist. Olivia squeezes her eyes shut when another contraction hits her and two tears are pushed from between her closed eyelids. That baby is now giving life to a new baby and his life will be different. He will be loved every day of his life and will have a safe place to call home.
"Try to hold off the next one, Olivia. I need to check how far along you are," she hears the doctor say.
Olivia looks up at Elliot, who has only left her side twice for a few minutes to check on his daughters, but who is glued to her bedside now. He reaches for her face to wipe away her tears and smiles at her hesitantly.
"You're doing great Liv. Just a little longer," he tells her encouragingly.
Olivia nods.
"I'm okay. I was just thinking of my mom," she tells him, and she knows Elliot will understand.
He knows. He knows all of it and he loves her anyway. Elliot caresses her cheek and she smiles back at him, resting her head on the pillow. She knows the next contraction won't take long and she braces herself when she feels the doctor checking her progress.
"Almost there," Dr. Simmons tells them. "One more and then you can try and push a little, okay?"
Olivia nods and it's all she can do before the next contraction hits her. She knows this one is different from anything she's felt until now.
"Oh God," she groans and both the doctor and Elliot know what's up. Her body wants to push. Now.
"Try to breathe through this one," the doctor urges.
She feels the woman's fingers touching her body but it hurts too much and her body just wants to push. The urge is unstoppable. As soon as she gets the go ahead, she grabs the backs of her thighs and pushes with all her might.
She hears Elliot mumbling close to her, telling her she's doing great and how proud he is of her. She feels like her lower half is being ripped in half but she keeps going. It will all be worth it in the end.
"Here comes the head," the doctor exclaims, ready to catch her baby. "Give me a big push now."
It's the only time Olivia cries out and it's a cry of victory when she feels her son's head pop out.
"One more and he's here," she hears the doctor say.
She glances at the man next to her and she sees the pride in his eyes. He is supporting her shoulders with one arm when she buckles down and pushes one last time. The relief is instant and immense when she feels her child slip out of her body and into her doctor's waiting hands. She lets her upper body fall back and finds herself cradled in Elliot's arms, his lips kissing her forehead several times. They turn their heads simultaneously to look at the newborn baby and Dr. Simmons lifts him up to place him on his mother's chest. Olivia reaches for her son instinctively and feels her chin tremble when the little boy lets out a soft wail.
"That's it little man," the doctor says quietly. "Fill up your lungs."
The child listens and starts to cry a little louder, and it's the most amazing sound Olivia has ever heard. She stares at her son in wonder and wraps her hands around him before a soft blanket is put over him on her chest. She doesn't feel any pain anymore. All her senses are focused on the new life she is holding against her chest, that she will need to protect from now on.
"Hello my sweet boy," she whispers softly. "There you are."
"What's his name?" the nurse asks, ready to write the new citizen's name on his tag.
Olivia looks at Elliot and her eyes sparkle when she tells the nurse,
"His name is Christopher Donovan Benson."
...
To be continued