Difficult Times

"I wish you didn't have to go." Bob sighed, "I'm getting out today."

"I know, it's just… all of this is too much." AJ nodded, "I mean it was enough coming back and seeing Phil but… meeting my daughter, knowing she hates my guts." She sighed to herself, "I can't stick around." She shook her head as Bob nodded.

"She'll come around. I know she wants to know you guys." Bob said.

"It really doesn't look like that." AJ said, "And I don't blame her." She shook her head, "We should have been there for her."

"No, now this is what I don't want you to do. I don't want you to start blaming yourself. You and Phil made such a difficult but responsible decision and you weren't told the real truth. You weren't told that she wouldn't be adopted." Bob said, "That's not your fault." Bob shook his head.

"I know but… it's how I feel." AJ nodded, "And being here, being with Phil, it's… it's too much. I have a husband and a little girl. I have a family. They need me." She said as Bob just nodded.

"Yeah, of course." Bob sighed, "But please don't be a stranger, come-come visit me-"

"Bob, why did you never say anything?" AJ shook her head. She wasn't going to get into it. She didn't want to accuse the man who gave her everything, of doing anything wrong, but she wondered if Bob had told them both when he first found Rey, maybe things would be so different, "When you found her that day in the store. Why didn't you tell me or Phil?"

"Because I saw how hard it was for you both to make the decision you made. And then I watched you both try and move on and close that chapter. You had gone off to the college and you'd already graduated by this time. I knew you'd be working the ladder to a good job and you were out of town. Phil… he got into a lot of mess between that time but he eventually got a job and he was getting himself together and I didn't know what it would to him. I couldn't just show up with her in front of him." Bob said.

"But she needed someone." AJ shook her head.

"Yeah, April and I looked out for her." Bob assured her, "I gave her free breakfast every morning before she'd go to school. I'd help her with her homework. I'd make sure no one was hurting her or taking advantage of her." He said, "This isn't a blaming game. No one is at fault."

"I'm not blaming you, but maybe things would have been different." AJ shook her head.

"Well you can't think about what could have happened. Think about the now, what's going on right now. Do you want to be in your daughter's life?" Bob asked.

"Of course I would." AJ said, "But she doesn't want us." AJ said, "And I don't blame her." She said.

"I know her, she needs space. Let her sleep on it, let her think about it. Deep down, of course she wants to know you." Bob nodded.

"And only she can make that decision. We can't do or say anything that is gonna help her make a decision." AJ said, "But I have to also think of my other daughter, who is six and… she needs me." AJ said as Bob nodded.

"I understand that." Bob said, "The only reason I wanted all of this to come out was because I… I couldn't stand to watch you all live different lives and not even get the chance to know one another. I would kill to see you have a relationship with her, after all of this. Phil too." Bob nodded.

"I would love to get to know my daughter." AJ nodded. There was nothing more she wanted. For things to be a wonder or a mystery anymore was such a relief but with that came the guilt and the blame of not doing the right thing, the anger from her daughter.

"And Phil? What about him?" Bob asked.

"What about him, Bob?" AJ shook her head, "What… do you think because of all of this I'm going to leave my marriage and get back with Phil?" She asked as Bob just looked at her, "I love my husband and… yes, I still love Phil but only because of what we went through together. What we shared." AJ nodded, "But I have moved on and I have someone else that I love."

"I get that." Bob nodded, "I just know you both still care about each other."

"Yeah, we do but we moved on." AJ said as Bob nodded, "I wouldn't change what I had with him, he'll always be in my heart no matter what but… I love my husband." AJ nodded, "And I… I love my life with him and my daughter, my home." AJ nodded, "Phil isn't in that picture anymore." She made clear as Bob nodded.

"Yeah, I know." Bob nodded, "I only want what is best for you both."

"Being apart is what is best." AJ assured him, even though she wasn't quite sure that really was for the best, especially not after the kiss they had last night, "I'm sorry I have to leave but… I'm not a kid anymore. I have a job and a little girl who needs me." She nodded.

"Well maybe one day I could meet her." Bob said as AJ smiled, "Maybe Rey could meet her sister."

"Maybe." AJ nodded, walking over to him and giving him a hug as he squeezed her tightly, "Thank you for looking after her." She whispered as Bob hugged her, "Like you did with us."

"Don't give up on this." Bob told her. He didn't want her to run away from her problems, run away from the situation going on. He knew she did have other priorities and that didn't make her a bad person, but he really wanted them to work things out.

"Why the hell was he there?" Rey asked, letting Joanne into her apartment, her blanket wrapped around her body and head as she moved back to the couch and collapsed down.

"He wanted some advice." Joanne nodded.

"On what? How to not abandon your kid? Oh wait… too late." She grumbled.

"Would you stop it?" Joanne shook her head, taking her coat off, "Look, I have no right to tell you how I feel about this because… I don't know how it feels but… things were different back then. Having a baby at that age was a big deal, it was scary. Your dad actually seems like a nice person." Joanne nodded.

"I don't care if he's a nice person." Rey shrugged.

"You're being childish with this." Joanne nodded.

"Hey, you said it. It wasn't you they left, it was me so keep your opinions to yourself." Rey said.

"No, because you need to hear this." Joanne said, "They came here to explain themselves even though technically, the decision they made was probably to benefit you. They couldn't give you what you needed and they thought another family could. Rey, there's nothing wrong with that. They didn't know you would never be adopted." She said.

"You're supposed to be supporting me right now not telling me how I should feel." Rey sat up, throwing the blanket off from herself.

"I'm not telling you how to feel I'm just saying that… you don't have to protect your feelings and hide anything from these people. They seem like they're actually good people who were trying to do the right thing."

"Oh, they seem? You have one conversation with my dad and you think they're God's greatest gift?" Rey shook her head, "You know what, just leave." She sighed, "I want to be on my own."

"Are you kidding me right now? I'm trying to help you." Joanne said, "What if it was you, in their position. Think about how scary it'd be to… be a kid and be having a kid." Joanne shook her head.

"Well they got themselves into it." Rey shrugged, "Their mess, they deal with it. They shouldn't have just… tossed me away like it was going to solve all their problems."

"You're just blinded by your anger right now." Joanne shook her head, "Maybe you're right, maybe you need to be alone and take a couple days from work and just… think about all of this. Don't you want to know your parents?"

"Get out." Rey said as Joanne put her hands up.

"I'm already going." Joanne nodded, grabbing her coat and heading for the door as Rey ran her hand through her hair, listening as the door banged shut as she rolled her head back on the couch and sighed.

She felt scared and confused, and she wasn't the best with dealing with those emotions.

She grabbed her phone from the coffee table, scrolling through her contacts, choosing one and putting the phone to her ear as she listened to it ring, eventually being answered.

"Hey, Zac…" Rey said, "Where are you?"

AJ had gotten home later on that night. A part of her was so glad to be somehow going back to her normal, drama-free home. But her heart ached because she was going back with so much more answers. Answers that hurt her. Answers about the baby she gave away at seventeen.

She thought about Punk, how her feelings hadn't changed. Even after all the stupid stuff that happened with him, and him breaking up with her, she still loved him and she knew it wasn't just because of what they went through. She still loved him for him. The good and the bad. And she couldn't stop thinking about the kiss. How she really wanted more, how she actually felt wanted and worth something for the first time in so long.

But she had missed her family. She'd missed taking her dog out for a walk with her daughter. She'd missed sitting tiredly doing homework with Amelia or cuddling with Tom on the sofa late on. Nothing could hurt her feelings here, she was sure of that…

She headed into the house quietly, putting her bags down at the door. She knew Amelia would be sleeping so she tried not to make too much noise.

She checked the living room and kitchen but saw no sign of Tom. Figuring he was upstairs, she headed on up, walking up the stairs and down the hallway to their bedroom, opening up the door and pausing when she saw what she saw.

"A-April…" Tom sat up in bed, appearing to not be alone.

AJ tilted her head in disbelief, not being able to process what she was actually looking at. Another woman, in her own bed with her husband, whilst her daughter slept next door. She didn't even have the words, all she could do was turn away and leave the room, simply not believing it.