Understanding

"You gonna tell me what's wrong?" Bob asked, opening up a packet of cookies, sitting in the break room in the store with Rey after embracing her for quite some time. It was very clear she was upset about something.

"What's right?" Rey shook her head, "I feel like I don't know who I am anymore." She admitted, "Why is that? As soon as… as soon as my parents show up I… I feel like I don't know myself." She said, "When all this time it's been myself I've had to count on." She said.

"You're probably fighting a lot of emotions right now. It's a big thing. To finally have faces to the names and to know they're close by." He said, "I didn't expect you to act any different. No one would."

"I hate feeling like this." Rey shook her head.

"It'll pass." Bob nodded, "Trust me. These feelings don't last long. When you're in it, sure it feels like it'll never end but… it will." He said as Rey sighed, "Strictly speaking, you're still like a kid. You're nineteen. Yeah, you have your own place and a job and you're super well grounded-"

"Well grounded?" Rey laughed a little, "I just left a crack den where I was being clearly set up to be… gang raped." She said, "And I walked into it-"

"What? What are you talking about?" Bob asked worriedly, "Did something happen-"

"I'm fine." Rey nodded, "It was Zac and his friends. I thought the best way to deal with this was to go get drunk with him but when I got to the apartment, it wasn't just him." She sighed, "I'm tired of trying to see a good side in him." She sighed.

"Reylissa, you stay away from him. Do you understand me?" Bob said, "That's it. He's dangerous and you could get hurt. Enough is enough."

"Yeah, ok. I get it." Rey sighed, "They were too drunk and high to do anything anyway. I got out easily." She nodded.

"It's not the point." Bob made clear, "Don't you go near him again." He said, "If you're feeling down or you're struggling, come talk to me. Or your friend, Joanne."

"I pushed her away and now I think she hates me." Rey nodded.

"I'm sure she doesn't. She knows you're going through a tough time." Bob said as Rey sighed, "You know you're allowed to feel like this. And you're also allowed to… want to know your parents. It's not a crime." He said as Rey sighed, "You don't need to pretend to hate them just because it's how you think you should feel."

"I do hate them." Rey made clear as Bob sighed and nodded, "But…" She nodded, "But I'd be lying if I said I didn't want to know them." She nodded as Bob smiled a little, "It just… it feels so weird to me that they're here and they've been here all along." She said, "And I want to understand them and how hard it was but I just… I can't when it's me who had to suffer." She shook her head as Bob nodded.

"Hey and they understand that. But being the one who was with them throughout the full thing… trust me, they loved you, they still do. And they weren't ready to take care of you and they just wanted the best for you." Bob said, "They were assured you'd be adopted. They only found out you weren't a few days ago." He said.

"But… you knew I was there's. I've known you since I was really little. Why did you never tell them about me?" Rey shook her head.

"I saw how hard it was for them to give you away. Your mother had moved away, your father was starting to get his life back together after some mistakes he made." Bob nodded, "I promised myself I would look out for you, for them." He said, "Because it was so difficult for them to say goodbye to you." He said as Rey sighed, "It was right here, actually." He nodded.

"Right here what?" Rey asked.

"Your mom found out she was having you." Bob nodded, "She came rushing in one morning, bought a box of pregnancy tests. She was… terrified and she did it here, in the toilet back there." He said, "And then she came in here and she sat with me and… and she cried." He said, remembering it like it was yesterday.

"Glad I brought her so much joy." Rey rolled her eyes.

"She was shocked and terrified." Bob said, "She didn't know what to do. I mean… she was just seventeen." He said, "But they spoke about it and they knew they wanted to have you, that was never a doubt."

"Look, I get it. They were young and scared. I understand that. But look how much time has passed. Time which they probably haven't shed a thought about me. They've just carried on with their lives." Rey shook her head.

"You're wrong." Bob said, "Because they think about you every day. I know it. Your dad, he was never really the same after it. He became very distant and shut off. Not the same boy I knew before. And your mom moved away." He said, "But I know every day they thought about you. The only reason they didn't try and find you was because they thought you had a family. They thought you'd have parents." He said as Rey sighed.

"What am I supposed to do about this?" Rey asked him.

"Well that's entirely up to you." Bob said, "I won't speak for Phil and April, but I have a feeling they would love to work something out with you, and be there for you somehow." He said, "If you gave them the chance."

"What are they like?" Rey asked quietly, taking a cookie from the packet as Bob smiled.

"What are they like…" Bob hummed, "Well your mom is a lot like you. Always tries to see good in people. Different perspectives." He nodded, "She's caring and sweet. Funny. Little bit clumsy like you." He smiled as Rey scoffed but smiled a little, "And she's beautiful of course. Smart as hell. Really would do anything for those she loves." He nodded, "Spends a lot of time putting everyone else before herself." He said as Rey nodded slowly.

"And my dad?" Rey questioned, "Is he caring and sweet too?" She wondered sarcastically.

"You'd be surprised." Bob nodded, "He didn't have it easy growing up. He saw and did a lot of stupid shit. But he's got a good heart and he'd do anything for someone he loves. Anything." He said, "He's funny as hell. But unfortunately miss, you and him share quite the temper." He told her honestly.

"Yeah I think I saw a little bit of that." Rey nodded, "Maybe we'll clash heads."

"I'm sure you'll be able to work through it." Bob smiled, "They're human, Rey. They got their good and they got their bad qualities but… one thing I know for sure is that they love you, really. And they only wanted what was best for you." He nodded as Rey looked across at him.

She wondered if she had been too harsh. If she hadn't looked at the bigger picture. She was so caught up in feeling how she'd taught herself, that she hadn't really sat and thought about these two people, her mother and father, and how they must have been feeling, what they had been through.

"So why aren't they together?" Rey asked.

"Oh, you know… things got tough after they gave you away. Your dad broke it off because he… he felt like he was keeping your mom down. She went off to college and never came back. Not until a few days ago." Bob nodded, "Between you and me, they still love each other. I don't care if they deny it." He shrugged.

"You sound like their number one fan." Rey smiled.

"Oh, I am." Bob nodded, "Because I knew how hard things were for them but I saw how much they loved one another. It's why I made the album with the pictures. I wanted to look back on it in case it did end badly, because it was such a good time that we had. They became like my kids. They still feel like my kids." He said as Rey smiled.

"They mean a lot to you, huh?" Rey noticed as Bob nodded.

"Yeah, they do." Bob said, "They always will. You too." He said as Rey smiled.

"Maybe I've not let myself think about it in full." Rey said, "I've always just painted this idea in my head of how I'm supposed to act with them but… of course I want to know my parents. I'm just… I don't know, it's not something I know how to do or deal with." She shrugged.

"The good news is, they probably feel as nervous and confused as you do too." Bob nodded, "It's normal to feel overwhelmed by something like this." He said as Rey nodded, "Maybe you take some time to think about it all and think about what you want to do." He said as Rey nodded.

"Yeah." Rey agreed, "I don't think I could carry on with my life just ignoring them." She nodded, "We all… we all deserve a chance, don't we?" She questioned as Bob smiled and nodded.

"Yeah, we do." Bob agreed as Rey sighed to herself, "Why don't you get yourself home and get an early night." He said as Rey nodded.

"Yeah, I think I will." Rey nodded, standing up from the table.

"Here, take these." He gave her the cookies and stood up as she smiled.

"Thanks, Bob." Rey nodded to him, "Thanks for everything." She smiled, walking over to him and giving him a hug before leaving the break room as Bob smiled to himself.

"No problem, kid." Bob smiled.