A/N: Another year, another love story anthology...
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Unequally Rational and Emotional Love Stories
by Shadow Crystal Mage
Disclaimer: Negima is owned by Akamatsu. Unequally Rational and Emotional is by Overmaster and used with kind permission.
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The Infinite Patience of Nagato Yuki
For eternity, she had watched.
She remembered her first existence, living for three years alone as she watched over two sleeping bodies, then enduring thousands of years worth of the end of summer. Of observing the data-creating entity Suzumiya Haruhi, and communicating with the Kyon.
She remembered her second existence, a jarring reset not unlike the transition between the last day of summer and the return to the beginning of the loop. That cursed, damned summer repeating once more.
She remembered her 235th existence. She had remembered nothing then. She had merely been Nagato Yuki, a perfectly ordinary girl. She'd had a friend, Ryoko Asakura, a kind and thoughtful person who was always there for her. She remembered a small and cozy apartment, simple in its tastes. A laptop with an array of games. She'd been in love with the Kyon in that world, so like the one she had made before so many times with Suzumiya's Haruhi's data creation, but real. She had been happy. She had known what happy was. Summer had begun and ended on schedule, and there had only been one that year.
And then the world ended again, and she was once more Nagato Yuki, a humanoid interface of the Data Overmaster. And she remembered EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING.
EVERYTHING!-!-!-!-!
In that new world, things had been so changed. She had tried to kill Suzumiya Haruhi, who had then been rescued by Ryoko Asakura. Nagato Yuki had been deleted. That time, the world ended well before the endless summer.
That had been many, many, many worlds ago.
Now was the Omega existence. The final iteration. Suzumiya Haruhi was a mere mortal now, all her abilities of data creation gifted to the Kyon in one breath, one final moment in the penultimate world. Nagato Yuki's mind drowned in endless memories of unending summers. She had long since developed anger, sadness, happiness, hate, rage, desire. She had long since been made a woman, been loved and had loved, long since been relegated to a mere doll, been used and discarded, long since become a mother and lost a child. She had long since made the breakthrough to what humans, in pride and arrogance, called 'humanity'.
None of that mattered.
She no longer hated Suzumiya Haruhi. Honestly, the girl could be such a bitch.
She no longer really longed to bash Koizumi Itsuki's head in. That stupid smile.
She no longer wanted to throw Asahina Mikuru out a window. Thunder-tits moe-blob.
She might still want to punch Chao Lingshen's face in for constantly reiterating existence and dooming her to have memories that consisted of nearly 99% summer reruns, but that was only logical. EVERY data interface wanted to do that. That summer had been HOT.
Instead, as she stood on what could be the end of all data, she looked back on that one life, that one single, blessed life, her 235th existence, and considered it all worth it.
And prayed, even though the gods who would be listening could do nothing about her plea she could not do herself, to have something like that again.
Possibly with added sex with the Kyon, this time. The non-doll kind, for preference, but she wasn't that picky.
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Toy Ship
Quartum looked at Ruri.
Ruri looked at Quartum.
"Hell no!" they chorused.
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All Star Unequally Rational and Emotional
Tsundere Hacker. Vapid Genius. Boy Wizard. Hilarity Ensues.
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To-Love-Haruna! Princess!
"Okay," Saotome Haruna said cheerfully as she casually twirled a marker in her fingers, "so, Rito likes me and asked me out first."
"No argument there," Lala agreed, equally cheerfully.
"Then we have him being engaged to you. I hope you don't mind if we keep his official feelings for you blank on the chart for now. Getting Rito to admit anything is like trying to pull out your own teeth."
"I understand," Lala said agreeably. She bounced a little, and there was a slight pause in procedures as Haruna took careful and intense note of the ballistics of the occasion.
Rito twitched, but made no move to argue.
"Then we have you engaged to my friend Yue," Haruna continued, tracing the line on the chart they'd made with one finger. "Her reported feelings are 'what the hell?', a lot of yelling, and denial, which are her feelings for me. So, we're both good there."
The two girls exchanged an enthusiastic thumbs up.
"Then we have Rito-kun's sister, who apparently has a brother complex," Haruna added. Rito twitched again.
"And you said Yue likes her roommate, Nodoka?" Lala said, tracing another line on the chart.
"And we threw in Nao-san for kicks," Haruna added. Rito twitched again.
The two cute, well-endowed young women looked at the chart they'd drawn.
"You're right Haruna-chan, we ARE at the center of the chart," Lala said.
Haruna nodded. "So clearly, it's up to us to solve this problem. Fortunately, I have thought of a cunning plan!"
Lala clapped. "And I know just where to get three miles of liquified silk, a Juraian priest, a Khund battleship, and Black Mercy sap!"
Haruna's face lit up. "Ah, Lala, you keep showing how you're such a perfect girlfriend! Rito-kun, you're real lucky to have met her! Almost as lucky as meeting me!"
"R-really?" Rito finally said, sounding skeptical.
"Yes! For I have the just the thing to solve our little dilemma!"
Hope filled Rito's eyes. "You do?"
Haruna nodded. She turned to Lala who let out a surprised squeal as Haruna suddenly put one arm around her waist and pulled her close. The other reached and cupped Lala's chin as Haruna said, in her most suave voice (which she took from imitating her uncle Tatewaki and thus was repellant to any woman not of Kuno born), "Yo, Lala, wanna get married?"
Lala blinked in happy surprise, before suddenly bolting up straight as Haruna grabbed her tail. "Ah! My tail! Oh, sure Haruna-chan!"
Grinning, Haruna turned to Rito. "See, Rito-kun? Problem solved!"
"Did... you just cheat on me with another woman?" Rito said weakly.
"Hey, you cheated on me with her first," Haruna said. "But don't worry, unlike other women I completely understand your virile, manly desire for ass. And I even forgive you for not sharing with me right away."
"I'm... so lucky?"
"Come on Lala-chan, let's go and get Mikan to pull your tail!" Haruna said as she led her new fiance downstairs, the two of them happily skipping along.
Rito looked down at the elaborate chart the two girls had penned with their names at the center. There were a lot of names, many he recognized. "I should probably call Yue-san and tell her to hide her roommate until this blows over..."
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"If Sakura Had Been Adopted..."
Tohsaka Sakura was well aware of how close she'd been to getting adopted off to the Matou family when she was young. It was one of those things that had become a joke between her and Rin. "It could be worse. What if I'd been adopted and you had to work the Blu-Ray by yourself". "If I'd been adopted, you'd have to make your own coffee". "If you'd been adopted, we wouldn't have this tax break on the house".
Sometimes, however, when they lay in each other's arms, dozing after enthusiastically making love but before sleep took them, they remember how close it had been, and hold each other tighter. "If I/you'd been adopted, I'd be so alone"...
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The North Wind and the Sun
No matter how strong the north wind blows, the traveler only pulls his cloak tighter over himself.
"Chisame-sama!"
"Argh! Stop touching my shoulders! Ack! Get your hands off my back! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE! Get off, get off, get off!"
"I'm trying Chisame-sama!"
"Stop touching yourself! Or touching me, for that matter! Argh, stop it you creepy stalker!"
But let the sun shine warmly, and the traveler will take the cloak off of their own will.
Sigh. "Ah, finally, it's done! Another day of being Chiu!" Stretch... "Ack, my back! I'm too young to have old people pains..."
From her perpetual position just behind Chisame, Matoi reached over and gently and matter-of-factly began massaging her shoulders.
"Ah, that feels good. Could you do my lower back too, Tsunetsuki? Ahh, thanks! You're pretty good at this, you know. Uh, could you go a bit low, I'm kinda stiff- whoa, too low! Be careful! But, ah, while you're there, could you...?"
Beatifically, Matoi did as requested. One could always get off later. Chisame-sama wanted this now.
The sun wins.
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Master and Servant
Medea had muzzy memories of before. A part of her seemed to recall being trapped in the underworld, with a Hades who glowed with flaming blue hair and had power over fire for some bizarre reason, when everyone knew Hades had dominion over the honorable dead, the riches beneath the Earth, and justice. Another part of her remembered an eternal, idyllic field. All about, heroes of all genders and species, places and times, skin color and size lounged about, fished, and pursued all manner of quiet, relaxing activities... for heroes. She had hazy recollections of Saxons and other proto-Britons, many of them women, sitting on horses and charging at each other with wooden lances as others cheered, of Irishmen fishing, their weapons laid aside and forgotten, or Sumerians playing with lions. In isolated corners, men and women, women and women, men and men, women and men dressed as women, women and men who kept switching between man and woman, women with men and women, men with women and men, women with women other and women, and other progressive possible statistical combinations, were fucking or making love in not-quite-hidden enough places. The latter was all very unclear. She had this weird memory of cheerfully discussing magic with Circe, a dark-haired woman in fishnet stockings, some woman who looked like a fairy queen, and a duck with a speech impediment...
That was all past now. She only remembered her life of old, in the Age of Gods, and the time since she had been summoned. Precious little between, try as she might.
She remembered betrayal. She remembered going a little insane. She remembered killing her own children to spite their father, a man who did not even deign to be her husband, who hadn't even really cared.
The only one she'd been hurting had been herself.
She did not love this man, her new Master. Why should she? He had saved her but that meant nothing. She lay with him because she enjoyed it, because it amused (and admittedly, pleasured) her, and because it was supernaturally nutritious and delicious. If she felt anything beyond the initial rush of childishly naive gratitude, it was... well, a certain fondness. She'd once had a dragon she felt similarly fond of. A few more had pulled her chariot. Idly, she wondered if she'd have gotten them of she'd been summoned as a Rider.
Still, for now she had no objection to being his Servant. She tired of heroic men of action, who came into a girl's life in flash and substance, stealing golden fleeces and marrying every princess they were offered. She'd had her fiery, passionate marriage, and so had he. They both had no wish to repeat it.
At least, that was what she told herself. Try as she might, she couldn't ignore the fact that sometimes, as she lay in his arms, he whispered her name and pulled her tighter.
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Twins
Fuuka and Fumika had always been together. They had been born together, they had lived together, they had grown up together. They had, in many respects, been perfectly ordinary girls. We don't mean shounen series ordinary. We mean ordinary ordinary. Save for being twins, they had once been as plain and uninteresting as Hito Nami. Fuuka, as the slightly older, had sometimes bullied Fumika. Fumika, as the slightly younger, had been bratty and demanding. Fumika still blamed her sister for that thing that had happened to her dolls. Fuuka still thought Fumika wasn't good a cook as she thought she was.
At night, however, when they lay in each other's arms, dozing after enthusiastically making love but before sleep took them, all that mattered is that they'd never be alone.
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Just Lucky
Sakurako sometimes wondered how much Satomi really returned her feelings and how much of it was just her participating in some kind of social experiment. It was an occasional thought, and while it didn't exactly leave her awake at night staring at the ceiling, it wasn't a thought she liked having. She liked Satomi-chan. That awkward innocence, that determined enthusiasm, that daredevil driving skill! Ah, it was enough to make a girl's heart flutter!
Still, it was sometimes hard not to wonder, or even doubt. She could see how close she was to Chisame-san, and even Tsunetsuki-sempai. They were so much closer, so much more intimate. Sakurako thought it had to do with how much longer they'd known Negi-sensei's secret and had kept it under wraps together. Even with an official theoretically exclusive track at Satomi, she still had a lot of ground to cover.
She might still lose out to Chisame or that stalker woman. She'd definitely lose out to Negi. Still, who knows.
She might get lucky.
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Fun Size
Ryoko Asakura had existed for many iterations how. Unlike many of her fellow Data Interface entities, she wasn't very experienced, relatively speaking. She had only a bare fraction of their overall run time. This was not something she viewed as a failure or a weakness. She was very thankful to have been dead during most of the eternal summer reruns.
She had fond memories of her 235th existence. She'd been as happy as she appeared, a kind, caring girl who had a hapless friend named Yuki she cared for like a doting sister. She hadn't had to try and kill anyone during that iteration. It hadn't been needed.
The next world had been mildly entertaining, especially after Nagato went on a murdering spree. The one where she was the sixth ranger of Amazing Sentai SOSger had provided interesting data.
So many worlds. So many deletions.
Through it all, it was only now she'd found purpose.
No, that wasn't right. It was only now she'd found a purpose that was all her own.
It wasn't the first time she hadn't been deleted. She remembered a similarly surreal iteration, where Haruhi Suzumiya had been really, really weird but not as prone towards spontaneous data generation, something similar had happened. Nagato had been practically useless. Asakura's best friend had been a sentient balloon. They'd had a pet lion. It had all been extremely weird
This iteration was similar. She'd been reduced in size and capability again, and while Nagato wasn't as bad, she seemed to have greatly reduced self-sufficiency within the confines of her apartment. That, or the endless summer reruns were finally getting to her. Lacking anything constructive to do and possessing dangerously low processing power that occasionally interfered with her cognitive ability, Asakura fell into an old habit and kept house.
She missed the balloon and the lion.
Sometimes she'd stand by the window, the telescope trained at Sakura Lane. Every so often, she'd see him there, dangling from his neck trying to be a corpse. Really, he had become so much more pleasant and well-adjusted than he had been when he was young.
Despite her face being set to 'cluelessly cute chibi' by default, a bitter-sweet smile twisted Asakura's face. She wondered if he ever thought of her anymore, the girl who disappeared under mysterious circumstances. It was doubtful. She'd just been one of many sempai in Ala Rubra, and not even the most interesting one. And as to women, everyone knew how devoted he'd been to Arika.
Still, as she pressed a hand against the cold glass of the locked window, she wished she could see him again, be with him again. Even if it was only as a small, pitiable super-deformed chibi in his hand who lived in his coffee mug.
It was such a small, silly purpose, but it was hers. All hers.
She turned away and wished she had green balloon dog.
In Sakura Lane, stapled on the tree from which Itoshiki-sensei of 1-F hung, was a fresh poster. On it was a picture of serenely smiling girl with long grayish-blue hair and an air of iinchou-ness. A stack of similar posters stood at the base of the tree, weighed down by a stapler and a suicide kid. The posters all read: Missing. Ryoko Asakura. Circumstances Unknown. Please call xxxx-xxxxxxx if you have any information.
Asakura-sempai, please come home.
- Nozomu-kun
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- See you again next year…
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A/N: If you liked this chapter, please PM Overmaster and tell him so that he'll be inspired to get back to Uneqully!
Please review, C&C welcome.
Until next time, this is Shadow, signing off.