I hope you all don't think I'm going overboard with the baby cuteness? I don't mean to drag out this story, it's just so much fun to write Olivia with a newborn. But the story will progress a little again in this chapter. I hope you will enjoy.

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57. Long night

It's her third day home alone with her son and to her own surprise, Olivia isn't going stir crazy. Not yet, anyway. She does long for the moment when Elliot gets home so she can hear all about his day, but she doesn't miss the job as much as she had expected. When Elliot calls to tell her he won't be home for dinner, she does feel a little disappointed but she understands. She knows what it's like. And Chris keeps her busy throughout the day. He's not a difficult baby at all, but he needs constant monitoring. They haven't left the house on their own yet, and Olivia wants to ask Elliot if they can go out soon to buy a baby carrier, so she won't need the pram to get out of the house with Chris. She can just carry him against her chest.

Not feeling like cooking for one, Olivia decides to order in. It's been a while since she's had Thai food and she loves every bite of it. Elliot texts her, telling her not to wait up and she lets him know there are some leftovers for him in the fridge if he feels hungry once he does get home. The team is all over an urgent case and while she doesn't know all the details, Elliot had let it slip that there are children involved. It almost makes her sick to her stomach and she holds her son a little closer after his last meal of the day. It's past eleven and she hopes he will sleep for a couple of hours again, just like the last two nights. But after just two hours, he wakes her up with a fairly loud wail. She can't imagine that he's hungry again already but tries to get him to drink anyway. He drinks for only a minute and then he starts squirming again, making very unhappy sounds, and spits out some milk. Olivia can't imagine what's bothering him. She tries to calm him down in every way she can think of, but Chris stays restless to the point where he's full-on crying. She's never seen him like this and she feels insecure and even clammy. What should she do?

Olivia checks his diaper. There's just a little bit of poop in it and she changes it, but she can't imagine Chris would cry so much about so little. The clean diaper doesn't help. She tries to get him to fall asleep next to her in the big bed but it doesn't work either. By now, Chris is red in the face, kicking his legs and waving his fists angrily, as if his mother is supposed to know what's the matter and fix it immediately.

And then she remembers the Thai food. Maybe he has a stomach ache because of the spicy food she ate! She rubs his little belly and tries putting him in her bed on his stomach but nothing helps. Chris keeps crying and it's getting louder too, up to a point that Olivia can't stand the sound anymore. By the time Elliot finally gets home, Olivia is in tears.

"What's going on in here?" Elliot asks, rushing into her bedroom without bothering to knock.

"He … He just won't stop crying," Olivia gasps, wiping a few tears from her cheeks.

Elliot looks at Chris, crying and squirming in the middle of the big bed, and at Olivia, who is on the brink of panicking because she doesn't know what to do.

"I think I ate something wrong. I had Thai food and now …"

She sighs and takes a deep breath but Elliot interrupts her, sitting down next to her

"Liv. It's not the Thai food. Maybe he has cramps but that's not because of anything you ate."

He rubs her back soothingly but Olivia isn't so sure if what he's saying is true.

"So how come he's never cried like this before, and the instant I order in, this happens."

She makes a helpless gesture at the screaming baby and feels horrible about her own negative feelings towards her son. It's not that she doesn't love him anymore but she's at the end of her rope.

Elliot picks Chris up and starts walking around the apartment with him. It's a relief for Olivia to be away from his screaming for a minute, but she soon follows them to see if Chris is calming down in any way. Elliot has draped Chris on his broad forearm, stomach down, his other hand resting on the baby's back, and is rocking him calmly while walking around the living room. It doesn't seem to be helping much at first, but after a while, Chris finally stops screaming, and just whimpers from time to time.

"He's exhausted," Elliot tells Olivia softly.

"So am I," she sighs. "I shouldn't have eaten the Thai food."

Elliot reaches for her with his free arm and she lets him pull her close, trapping Chris safely between them so he can't fall off his forearm.

"It's not the food baby, I promise," Elliot mumbles against her temple before dropping a kiss there. "These things happen. He's getting bigger and his body will change, too. Babies get cramps. I'm just sorry I didn't get home sooner."

"You didn't know."

Olivia sags a little against Elliot and he rubs her back soothingly.

"It's not all sunshine and daisies Liv. Being a parent is hard work."

She chuckles and looks down at her child. He seems to be feeling better now and he is trying to lift his head.

"You wanna take him again?" Elliot asks and she nods.

She loves her baby more than anything and she hates how much she hated the sound of his crying earlier. At first, she just wanted him to be okay, but after a while, she began feeling sorry for herself and she feels disappointed in herself now. She whispers words of apology to her son as she holds him and lets his little head rest on her shoulder. Chris is quiet now and she thinks he's ready to go back to sleep. They put him back in his crib together and Olivia sighs. It's hard work indeed, especially when her son can't tell her what's wrong.

"You wanna take a shower together?" Elliot asks her softly and the question takes her completely by surprise.

She turns around to face him, eyebrows raised and her mouth open. Elliot shrugs and gives her a half smile.

"I noticed you're kinda clammy and I just got home after a very long day so …"

The idea of a shower does appeal to her. She is in need of a change of clothes after the upsetting few hours she's had and the idea of taking a shower with Elliot appeals to her as well, although she isn't sure what he expects of her, less than two weeks after giving birth.

"It's just a shower," Elliot says, answering her unasked question and she nods.

"A shower sounds great."

She's exhausted like little Chris, but she does feel a need to clean up and they undress quietly while the shower water warms up. They wash their hair and they wash each other and the activity is extremely calming for Olivia. Elliot's presence is calming for her right now and when his body begins to respond to her touch, he assures her that he just wants to sleep, just like her.

"My little detective just can't help himself," he jokes and Olivia giggles at that remark.

"Your little detective?" she chuckles, giving him an extra little squeeze before releasing him.

Elliot pulls her against him and they sway a little under the warm spray, letting the water rinse off all the soap before drying off and slipping into fresh sleepwear for the night. It's past 2 AM by now and they really need sleep before Chris wakes them up again. They walk into Olivia's room together automatically and it feels good that it's normal again for Elliot to join her at night. She hears and feels him drift off almost immediately after his head hits the pillow and realizes she hasn't even asked him about his day. Maybe she doesn't want to know this time. Not when there are children suffering.

…

Elliot is up early again the next morning and Olivia is glad she doesn't have to get up yet. Chris has kept them busy during the long night and she's still way too tired to do anything. Before he leaves, Elliot tells her he's hoping to have a short work day today, because they're just wrapping up their latest case and he'd put in a lot of extra hours the evenings before. Still, Olivia is mildly surprised when he comes home at two in the afternoon.

"That was a super short day," she remarks, getting up from the couch where she'd been watching some TV.

Elliot hums as he hangs his coat on the rack and then watches her so seriously that she knows something is up. She walks up to him and makes and inviting gesture with her hands.

"So what's up?"

"Kathy's neighbor called."

"Oh. Something wrong?"

"I'm not sure if you can call it wrong," Elliot says. "Kathy has been to counseling and now she's convinced herself she needs to talk to you."

"To me?"

Olivia isn't sure what to make of that.

"What does she want to say to me?"

Elliot rubs the back of his neck and blows out a breath.

"I'm not completely sure. I called her from the station and I got mixed signals. Bottom line is that she does feel guilty so I suppose that's a good thing. But if you're not up to it yet, she'll just have to understand."

Olivia isn't sure if she's up to a confrontation with Elliot's ex wife. She isn't even sure if she'll ever be ready for it but maybe that's the best reason to just agree to it and get it over with.

"I don't mind talking to her," she tells Elliot. "As long as she behaves in my home and doesn't disturb Chris. I don't want her near him."

She isn't sure where that last remark came from but she knows it's true. She doesn't want Kathy to be a part of Chris's life. Not yet, anyway. He's just eleven days old and still adapting to being out in the big world, and she is still adapting to being a mother. She doesn't want this drama touching Chris's little life just yet.

"Fair enough," Elliot agrees instantly, and she's glad he is her ally in this.

"So why did her neighbor think it was necessary to call you?" she asks him.

"Kathy's kind of hyped up. I talked to her on the phone and she calmed down a little while we spoke, but maybe I should go over there first. If she's high on some kind of medication, she shouldn't come over until it subsides. She reminded me a little of my mother in one of her hyperactive modes."

They agree that it's best that Elliot goes to Queens first to test the waters, and they'll take it from there. He leaves right away and Olivia sits down again but she isn't interested in the TV anymore. What will Kathy want to say to her? Will it be an apology or something else?

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