A much longer chapter than usual for me, but this wasn't one I could cut off so here you go!
Some of you may have hoped to see more of the wedding preparations, but I hope this will be okay too … Enjoy?

...

62. To have and to hold

A few months later

As the festivities wind down, Olivia stands to the side and watches all their wedding guests chatting, dancing and enjoying their drinks. It's been a beautiful, sunny October day and it's still not really cold outside but she shivers anyway and rubs her bare upper arms with her hands. It must be the long couple of days catching up with her. She watches their nanny Rosa pack up Chris's things. He's six months old already and has charmed his way into every single guest's heart with his wide, happy smile with the cutest dimples she's ever seen. He can watch people intently with his big brown eyes while deciding whether he wants to smile at them or not. Many have waited with baited breath for the baby's approval but his widest grin will always be reserved for his parents.

She watches Elliot walk up to Rosa, and Chris responds to his proximity immediately, kicking his little legs and smiling up at his daddy. Rosa hands the child over and then her groom walks up to her with Chris on his arm. They're the handsomest pair Olivia has ever seen, in their sort-of matching tuxedos.

"Time to say goodnight, mommy," he tells her.

Although he's getting tired, Chris becomes even more excited when he sees his mother and she takes him in her arms to cuddle him before having to let him go for the night.

"I'll see you tomorrow, my love," she whispers against Chris's chubby cheek.

Chris whines a little when Rosa takes him again, but he likes the nanny and when she distracts him with his favorite toy, a stuffed bunny that he'd gotten from Maureen, he settles down against her shoulder. As expected, one of the bunny's ears disappears into his mouth, and the newlyweds smile at each other as they watch the nanny leave with their precious child.

In the end, it had been Casey who had gotten them in touch with Rosa Mendez, the niece of one of Casey's co-workers. The young woman had taken a year off from college and had been looking for a job. She's living rent-free with her aunt and uncle but needs money to pay for her own food and clothes and of course to go out with her friends. It's a perfect match and Rosa is always just a phone call away. She adores Chris and they trust the young woman to take good care of their son.

"Ready to go?" Elliot rumbles, pulling his wife flush against him.

"Hmmm," Olivia hums.

Her mind takes her back to that night back in June, almost eight weeks after Chris had been born. She'd just had her final checkup with her gynaecologist who had given her the green light, and had come home after a long day ...

"Chris asleep yet?" she asks Elliot.

"Yeah. He's out light a light."

"Good."

Olivia looks up at her fiancé and sees a smouldering fire in his eyes. She'd sent him a text earlier, letting him know that all the breaks are off as of today.

"He should sleep for a couple of hours," she adds huskily and Elliot responds by simply growling softly.

Olivia giggles and she scolds herself mentally that she's actually a little nervous.

"I need a shower," she tells Elliot.

"I'll join you."

She remembers the first time they'd been in the shower together. Elliot had been careful with her and had just been focused on getting her cleaned up. Not this time. This time, it's different in every way. He's focused on her alright, but not on getting her cleaned up. It's almost as if he's making a mess intentionally, using way too much soap until they're both dangerously slippery.

She's barely rinsed the shampoo out of her hair when she feels Elliot's little Detective slip between her thighs and she closes her eyes at the sensation. It's promising but she needs more friction. They're simply too slippery and she wants to feel more of him. A lot more.

Elliot has planted his palms against the wall of the shower behind her, caging her and she can see his eyes darken with desire. She's seen this look in his eyes before but tonight, they are finally going to act on that desire without holding anything back. She lets her palms trace his muscular arms, shoulders and pecs, and then moves them down to his abdomen. She feels his muscles twitch underneath her touch.

"We need less soap," she whispers.

Elliot doesn't respond but leans in to kiss her. She kisses him back eagerly and moans when Elliot's kisses become hungrier and more impatient. He's pushing her entire body against the cold tiles now and she makes a small sound of protest. Elliot breaks off the kiss immediately and looks into her eyes. He's breathing heavily and clearly hadn't wanted to stop but he's checking if she's alright nonetheless.

"I love you," she sighs, wrapping her arms around his neck, and she kisses him again. "But let's get out of here."

Elliot agrees that the shower may not be the best place for what they have in mind, and they quickly rinse most of the soap off their bodies before dashing from the bathroom to Olivia's bedroom, leaving a wet trail across the living room. It's a good thing they have drapes these days, she thinks, because it might be odd for the neighbors across the street to see two naked cops bursting into the bedroom and jumping on top of each other on the bed.

Elliot lets out an 'oof' when Olivia lands on his chest with a thud, but they both laugh out loud. They know they're being silly but they're entitled after that excruciatingly long wait. They're engaged to be married and they haven't had full-blown sex even once yet. It's time.

Olivia moans when she feels Elliot's hands exploring her body. When he flips them over, she automatically opens her legs to get him where she wants him. Elliot grins at her before dipping down to suck on the skin just below her ear. She pushes her hips into him and he hums,

"Impatient, are we?"

"Yes," she hisses back.

She is impatient and isn't embarrassed about it, and she knows it's the same for him. When he moves lower to kiss his way down her neck and collar bone until he reaches her chest, she holds her breath. He's kissed her breasts before, but it's different this time. There will be no holding back and it's as if her body is ready to burst with anticipation. She thought she might worry about her first time after giving birth but her body is taking over from her mind easily.

Despite his own arousal, Elliot is being careful with her and she loves him for it. He takes his time kissing her and stimulating her with his hands and then his tongue, making sure her post-pregnancy body is ready before he goes any further. When his hot mouth reaches her core, she gasps. It's the first time she's feeling his mouth on her body there and it feels heavenly.

"Oh Liv," she hears Elliot groan before he starts licking and sucking her with a passion.

She feels so attractive right now, with the man she loves eating her out as if she's his favorite dish. Olivia reaches behind her and grabs the headboard of the bed with both hands. She wheezes as she tries not to cry out, but it's becoming increasingly hard to stay quiet. Elliot's hands are massaging her breasts while his mouth and tongue are doing something magical to her clit and her throbbing core.

"El … ah … El," she stammers, squeezing her eyes shut and pushing herself into his face, needing more of what he's doing to her.

And then suddenly his mouth and hands are gone and her eyes snap open just in time to see his muscular form crawl up her body.

"Liv, I …" he starts but he doesn't have to explain.

"Yes," she tells him. "Oh yes."

She widens her knees and reaches for her fiancé's shoulders, pulling him down so she can kiss him while he settles between her legs once more. She can taste coffee, shower gel and herself on his tongue and she knows it's a taste she will never forget. Elliot is rock hard. He's pressing against her pelvic bone painfully and it has to be painful for him as well. She desperately needs him lower. She needs him inside her, as close to her as humanly possible. Olivia pushes against Elliot's hips with her hands and he lifts them, letting her hands guide him until he's lined up with her.

"Tell me if I go too fast," he whispers and Olivia nods, biting her lower lip.

When he finally penetrates her, she never tells him to stop or slow down. She just lets out a guttural groan of pleasure each time he pushes deeper. She had wondered if everything would still work properly and boy, does it ever. This is what she's craved for so long, to be filled up like this. She's tighter than she had expected after pushing a whole baby out, and Elliot fills her up completely. There's nothing 'little' about him and when he moans next to her ear, the sound sends an electrical current through her system.

Elliot rests his elbows next to her on the mattress and captures her lips with his as he starts to move his hips. She meets his movements eagerly, hoping he'll go even deeper. As their lovemaking gets more heated, their kisses become more sloppy but it doesn't matter. Their bodies meld together perfectly and they soar to a new high together, Elliot's hands cupping her shoulders while she clutches his perfect ass.

Elliot gasps against her neck and Olivia lets out short cries of pleasure when they approach their climax mere minutes after their bodies have joined together for the first time. She had always known they'd be like this Any doubts about the real thing living up to their fantasies melt away as their worlds explode in ecstasy, Elliot spilling his seed first and Olivia following him when she feels him throbbing and spasming inside her. They're both completely out of breath and when Elliot drops his full weight on top of her, she can't breathe but it's an amazing feeling. She's never felt safer, completely covered with him and her body still reeling from the way he has just made love to her for the first time …

"Liv?"

Olivia blinks and looks up into her concerned husband's eyes.

"Yeah?"

"Where d'you go?"

She smiles lazily at him then.

"I was just remembering our first time."

"Really?"

Elliot is all ears now and pulls her closer to him by the hips.

"So would you like to reenact it with me, upstairs in our hotel room?"

Olivia grins and glances around them. She spots one of Elliot's brothers, who is gathering the kids around him. They will be in good hands tonight. Maureen looks at them from across the room and waves. They wave back and Olivia smiles at her oldest stepdaughter. The new bond Maureen and Elliot have forged over the past year is starting to include her now and Maureen has offered a few times already to babysit for them if they want an evening to themselves and Rosa isn't available. She's been dating a young man for a while now and Elliot suspects that she's thinking about motherhood herself. And while he doesn't even want to think about his little girls growing up and dating, let alone having sex, he has accepted that his twenty-year old daughter is officially old enough to make her own decisions. She hasn't brought a date to the wedding but Olivia suspects that it won't be long until she'll bring her boyfriend along to babysit. She's already looking forward to teasing Elliot about it.

But not now.

Now is the time for just the two of them.

Olivia knows that Alex has been watching them and that it will be impossible to sneak out without her noticing, and so they walk up to their friends and co-workers to say goodnight.

"Awesome party, you two," Casey comments as soon as they've joined the group, raising her glass of wine.

"Absolutely," Cragen agrees, clinking his glass of water with Casey's glass.

"Gimme a hug," Fin rumbles, reaching for the blushing bride and Olivia squeezes her old friend's shoulder when he holds her tight for a second.

"Now you better be good to our girl, Stabler, or we'll find you," he then warns the groom sternly, but he can't suppress a wide grin when he shakes Elliot's hand.

"Will do, Fin. You know I always have her back."

"Yeah, well, you've got more than just her back now."

Elliot wraps his arm around Olivia's waist and winks at her when she looks up at him.

"Sure do. I'm never letting her go now."

Munch steps forward to say goodnight to the couple and Olivia sees tears in his eyes.

"Weddings always make me mushy," he quickly explains. "Always remind me of my own."

"Which one?" Melinda jokes but Munch answers very seriously,

"All of them."

Alex hugs Olivia and then Elliot, and hangs on to Elliot for a moment. When Olivia raises an eyebrow the blonde explains,

"I just had to know how it feels, alright?"

The women chuckle and then Casey and Melinda can't stay behind and hug Elliot too.

"Alright, alright, that's enough," Olivia shouts, laughing. "He's all mine now and I'm dragging him out of here."

After some more joking and some innuendo about what's in store for Elliot, they finally let the couple go. Olivia grabs Elliot's hand and they quickly make their way to the elevator, which will take them to the top floor of the hotel where the bridal suite is.

Elliot had insisted on getting the suite for them, because he wants only the best for his wife. She knows that he and Kathy never had a big wedding and she's enjoying the royal treatment a lot.

As soon as the elevator doors close, Elliot's lips are on hers. He is pressing her against the wall of the elevator and kisses her deeply. It reminds her of that first time again, when there had been the same urgency in his kisses. They're married now and Olivia hasn't really let that sink in. Her son is now a Stabler. Christopher Donovan Benson-Stabler. And she's Mrs. Stabler, being ravaged in the elevator by her brand-new husband.

"El," she gasps in between kisses and he finally gives her a little room to breathe.

"I've been wanting to do that all day," he admits. "You're so beautiful Liv. I still can't believe you actually said yes."

Olivia giggles and kisses him softly on the lips.

"You wouldn't have taken no for an answer anyway."

Elliot's eyes soften and he lifts a hand to caress her cheek.

"You know we're right for each other, Liv."

She smiles and agrees,

"I do."

"Best two words I've heard all day," he whispers before kissing her softly again.

The elevator dings, indicating that they have arrived on the top floor, and Elliot takes Olivia's hand to guide her to their room. When they arrive at the door, Elliot opens it with his key card and then turns around to scoop Olivia up in his arms.

She grins at him, wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I know it's not our threshold but I'm carrying you across anyway," he tells her, and she laughs.

"You're such a romantic."

"Guilty as charged," he admits readily and then walks into their room, kicking the door closed behind them with his foot.

He heads straight for the big, heart-shaped bed and sets her down gently next to it. The lights in the room are dimmed, and soft instrumental music is playing in the background. The hotel staff has sprinkled rose petals across the bed and as cliché as it is, Olivia loves it. It's been a perfect day that deserves a romantic, perfect conclusion like this. She's facing the bed and Elliot stands behind her, wrapping an arm around her waist. His other hand moves to the side of her head, reaching for the white flower in her hair, and Olivia sucks in a breath.

"You looked so beautiful today," Elliot tells her softly, his warm breath tickling her ear.

Her hair is tied up but Elliot unfastens the clip with the white flower that is holding it together, until her wavy dark hair falls around her face, spilling down to her shoulders.

"So beautiful," Elliot repeats, burying his nose in her hair, and Olivia shivers again.

The dress she's chosen is made of white silk. It's strapless, leaving her shoulders and arms bare, and it's tight around her torso, hips and thighs. From the knees down it widens and it has a modest train. She's proud of her post-baby figure and has been showing it off all day long, but now it's time for the dress to come off.

Elliot, still standing behind her, pulls the zipper of her dress down slowly and she hears his breathing pick up a little. She can feel his eyes on her skin as more of it is exposed to him. When he's unzipped the dress completely, Olivia shimmies until it drops to the ground, pooling around her feet. She feels Elliot's warm hands on her hips then and he kisses her shoulder softly. Olivia is now dressed in nothing but a white strapless lace bra, a matching thong and her high heels.

"You're overdressed," she manages to say, her voice hoarse with arousal already.

"So are you," Elliot mumbles back against her temple before reaching around her to cup her lace-clad breasts and squeeze them lightly.

Olivia moans softly, dropping her head back against Elliot's shoulder. This slow tease in this romantic setting is extremely arousing and she can already feel herself getting wet. Elliot's thumbs are teasing her hardened nipples through the sheer fabric of her bra and she reaches behind her blindly for something to hold on to. She finds Elliot's hips and pulls him tighter against her behind. He's as hard as she is wet …

"El …" she whispers, and it's enough for Elliot to turn her around quickly and kiss her deeply once more.

They tumble backwards onto the bed and Olivia starts tugging on Elliot's clothes. He sits up and quickly sheds his shoes, jacket and bow tie but before Olivia can start unbuttoning his shirt, he's on her again, kissing her jaw, neck, collarbone and finally her chest. He pulls her bra down to expose a dark nipple and wraps his lips around the hardened bud.

Olivia moans again, protesting a little that he gets to touch so much of her while he's basically still completely dressed, but pleasure overrides her protest and she grabs the back of Elliot's head to keep him right where he is now, feasting on her breasts as he gets rid of her bra altogether.

When Elliot finally takes a small break, raising his head to grin at her, Olivia turns the tables on him, pushing him onto his back on the bed. She straddles his hips and starts unbuttoning his shirt slowly. Elliot smiles, loving how she's taking control now. They both have a habit of taking control, which often makes for pretty intense nights. And tonight, their wedding night, will be no exception.

Olivia leans forward to kiss Elliot's chest as more of it comes into view.

"Liv," Elliot croaks, but she isn't going to give in yet. She can be a tease too and they have all night after all.

After shedding his dress shirt, Olivia starts on his pants and takes them off of him together with his socks. They're both now down to one piece of underwear, and Olivia's still wearing her heels. Elliot has finally accepted that Olivia is now in charge, and waits, albeit impatiently, for her to continue. She crawls over his legs and starts rubbing him through his black boxer briefs, until he can't contain himself anymore and reaches for her.

"No no," Olivia chides, evading his grasp.

Elliot groans but complies and lies back down, watching his wife intently while she starts to tug his boxers down. She licks her lips when his manhood jumps into view and Elliot covers his face with both hands, breathing deeply. He knows what's coming.

When her lips wrap around his tip, her hand slowly massaging his shaft, Elliot swears softly. Olivia loves the taste of him and loves doing this to him. She closes her eyes and moans at the sensation of him in her mouth and her hand. Her other hand caresses his abdomen and she loves how his breathing is erratic, all because of what she's doing to him. After a minute, his hips begin to move and she knows he is surrendering to her. She remembers their first time again, when he had brought her to the brink as well, only to switch gears at the last moment. It's her turn now and while he tastes amazingly good and she would want to continue, she stops sucking him just when she feels him grow even thicker and harder in her hand.

"Liv …" Elliot protests, but when he lifts his head to look at her, he sees her crawling towards him and focuses on her full breasts.

His hands cup her breasts while she positions herself above him. His thumbs graze her nipples and she closes her eyes, trying not to lose her bearings or forget what she had planned to do. She reaches between them and hooks one finger inside her thong, pulling the fabric aside just enough so she can sink down on her husband.

They both moan together and when Olivia starts to move, Elliot grabs her thighs and moves with her. Olivia stares into his blue eyes, that are now almost black with lust and is overcome with such happiness that she has to look away. He's her husband now, to have and to hold. She's officially Mrs. Stabler. No longer just a single cop in the city but a married woman with a family. She squeezes her eyes shut and lets that feeling of happiness fill her up, while Elliot fills her body up in the most delicious way. She hears him moan her name and when his hands move from her thighs up to her waist, she lets herself drop forward. It changes the momentum of their lovemaking and allows her husband to kiss her sweetly.

"I love you so much," he whispers.

Olivia drops her forehead to his shoulder and bites her lip to keep her chin from trembling. She wants to tell him that she loves him too but she's afraid her voice will break. Elliot thrusts up and she reciprocates, pouring all of her love for him in their dance of love. He's impossibly deep inside her and it's symbolic of how deep they're both in this relationship. Five years of partnership, of getting to know each other and of becoming best friends is now culminating in this perfect wedding night. They're both close to the edge and when Olivia feels herself slipping, she sighs in her husband's ear,

"Love you forever."

It's as if those words trigger Elliot's release and she quickly joins him, crying out as their bodies shaking together, engulfed by their combined ecstasy. Elliot wraps his arms around her and holds her close to him while little shockwaves still course through their bodies, and Olivia feels a stray tear fall from her eye and on his chest.

Elliot must have felt the tiny droplet and lifts his head to look at her.

"You okay?" he whispers and she smiles at him.

"Yeah. I'm more than okay."

Elliot smiles but waits for her, knowing instinctively that she wants to add something to her words.

"What?" he asks softly and she lowers her head to kiss his chest before telling him,

"I'm happy."

…

A/N: She's happy! Isn't that all we want for our Liv? There will be one or two more epilogue-like chapters after this one. Your reviews are appreciated as always.