I made myself at home
In the cobwebs and the lies
I'm learning all your tricks...
It seemed that despite Negan's obvious interest, Rosita was still not convinced it would thoughts were for Abe, despite everything, he would remain with her forever and the man responsible for taking him away, needed to pay. They had argued one night, unable to reach an understanding. Rosita wasn't convinced Rick would be able to keep Negan's focus long enough, pointing out his awkwardness and lack of social skill.
"Negan's going to know something's up. Rick needs to try to-"
"No," Rick spoke up, startling Rosita and Michonne who looked towards him. He didn't want to hear whatever Rosita was thinking. "If you want me to do this, I'm doin' it my way. I'm not gonna be someone I'm not. You all said it yourselves. Negan wants me. Not me pretendin' to be someone else. If Negan had wanted someone else, then you shouldn't have asked me to do this. You should have left it alone." Michonne slowly smiled, nodding her head while Rosita looked unconvinced, she finally nodded, arms crossing.
"Look, we just don't want to see you get in too deep. Just be careful, okay?" Rosita's hard expression slowly melted into something more vulnerable, her dark eyes shining. "You know what he is. I don't want to lose anymore people to him. You be careful."
"I will be." Rick promised, hoping that he wasn't lying.
In order to keep up appearances and not risk Carl getting caught in the crosshairs, Michonne and Rick had decided to keep their distance from each other even when Negan wasn't around. It was safer that way, but still, not having Michonne laying on the floor next to him left Rick wondering if he had made the right choice. Carl had blamed him for the breakup, coming to the conclusion that his father had messed up and ruined things.
"Why do you always do this!? Didn't you learn anything from mom?" Carl had shouted at him after he had broken the news over dinner. Judith had been babbling away, face covered in food. She looked over to Carl, obviously startled by her brother's suddenly loud voice. Carl shot her an apologetic look, voice quickly lowering. "What did you do?" He asked, eyes darting back to Rick who ran a weary hand down his face.
"We decided that we were bet-" He tried to explain once more.
"Bullshit." Carl cut him off, slouching back in his chair and glaring at his father with his mother's eye.
"Carl! Watch your mouth." Rick shot back, reaching out to wipe at Judith's face as the little girl blew a raspberry towards him, squealing in glee. Carl stood, hip bumping into the table and startling Rick and Judith who both looked at him. Carl shook his head, stepping back away from his family.
"You always do this dad. She was our family." Carl's voice was sullen and accusing, before turning on his heel and storming from the kitchen, leaving Judith and Rick to stare after him. Rick found he didn't have much of an appetite after that.
Like clockwork, Negan returned to the gates the next week for pickup. His grin was reminiscent of a jack o'lantern's and made Rick's skin crawl."Howdy, sheriff." Negan drawled in greeting, eyebrow quirking as he stepped towards the gates, eyes only for Rick. His men lingered behind him, watching Rick impassively.
Rick nodded at Negan, pushing the gate open and stepping back. "Negan." The Alexandrians lingered nervously, not getting to close as the Saviors poured in. As before, Michonne was out of sight and Carl was kept distracted.
"You got my stuff?" Negan asked and Rick noddedm indicating towards where the tribute was supplied. Negan motioned to his men a silent order to gather it up, before once again turning his attention to Rick. "Let's take a walk." His voice was casual, but Rick knew better than to argue with him. Negan slapped a hand down on Rick's shoulder, herding him down the street and towards his house. It was almost sad how easy it was for Negan to maneuver Rick. Rick wasn't a physically imposing man. Sure, he wasn't as small as he had been when the world first turned on its' head, but he was still short and his body never managed to reach the definition that Shane or even Spencer had. His hands, while calloused and scarred seemed almost childlike in comparison to Negan's. He wasn't self conscious; he didn't have time to be, but with the way Negan was eyeing him, Rick could not help but feel all that much smaller in his eyes. He tugged at his sleeves, fingers nervously tugging at a loose string as the pair walked up the porch steps. What if this was all some really terrible misunderstanding and Negan had no actual interest in Rick? What would he do then? Go to Maggie and apologize for not being attractive enough to distract the dictator in their backyard? Negan pushed the door open and Rick sent a silent prayer of thanks that Judith was with Olivia elsewhere for the day. Negan strode towards the kitchen, looking at his surrounding with great interest.
"Nice place you got here, Rick." He called over his shoulder. "Very bougie." Negan continued to peruse through the house, looking at the various items as if in great interest. Michonne had hidden the finger-painting Judith had done, hiding as much evidence of her existence as they could. Rick knew he would have to thank her later. "Your boy plays darts?" Negan spoke up, startling Rick who followed his line of sight to the dart board on the door in the kitchen. Rick nodded mechanically.
"Yeah, he's gotten real good at it." Rick spoke up, mouth feeling like it was full of cotton. He shuffled uncomfortably, palms sweating.
"Knew ol' one eye was talented." Negan replied. Again, Rick had to fight down a rebuttal. Negan hopped up to sit on the counter, patting the space beside him with a little wink "Join me up here, Rick." It wasn't a request, so Rick reluctantly shuffled forward and feeling like a child, sat next to Negan who swung his legs back and forth, grinning at Rick as if he were in on some joke. "How about we go on a trip. Just you and me?" He settled his hands across his lap, expression turning mock serious as he studied the smaller man.
"A...what?" Rick asked after a moment, blinking dumbly.
Negan huffed out a laugh, leaning back and looking Rick over appraisingly. "A trip Rick. You. Me. A truck and the open road. See what we can find."
'Play along Rick, don't fuck this up.' A voice that sounded eerily like Rosita hissed in his ear. Rick felt himself nod. "Do you mean for supplies?" He questioned, watching Negan's lips twitch as if fighting down a laugh.
"It can be whatever you want it to be, sheriff." He leaned towards Rick. "So how about it? See what you and I can dig up next pick-up? I'll let you keep half of what we find. Sound fair?" Rick scratched his palms absently, hoping he didn't look as defeated as he felt.
"That sounds reasonable." Rick forced himself to speak, hearing Rosita and Sasha hissing encouragements in his ear. Negan nodded in approval, slapping a palm against his knee.
"That's what I like to hear!" For a moment they sat in silence, and Rick appreciated the time it offered to gather his thoughts. "You have a system going? For rations and all that shit?" Negan suddenly asked and Rick quietly marveled at the man's ability to bounce from once subject to the next.
"Yeah, down in the pantry, we have a checklist. Anyone who takes something just checks it off...it works pretty well." Rick murmured, wipsing his sweaty hand against his jeans.
"Sounds like a solid plan. How do you know of someone is taking more than their fair share?" Now this was conversation he could get into. There was nothing personal about it, but facts.
"We usually have someone on watch to oversee it. Olivia is really good with keeping it accounted for. We need to fix one of the shelves though...part of it was rusted badly and broke off...spilled the cans everywhere." Rick murmured, recalling how Olivia had been flustered as she tried to sort out the mess of cans after they had crashed all over the ground.
"Broken shelf, huh? I can check that out. Have one of my boys fix it up." Negan hopped off the counter.
"N-no!" Rick's voice crackled, moving to follow Negan. "No it's fine. There's no need to-"
"Nonsense, Rick." Negan waved him off, bounding towards the door like a man on a mission. "We're gonna get this all squared away." Negan sauntered out the door and down the street and towards the pantry, waving cheerily at some of the lingering Alexandrians. Eugene stood among them, nodding nervously at Rick as he passed by before shuffling out of the way. Rick spotted Spencer watching them with muscular arms crossed almost sullenly over his chest. His eyes darted almost accusingly to Rick, as if finding Rick to be at fault. Rick shot him a stern glare as he passed, following Negan down the street. They reached the pantry entrance and Negan threw the door open.
Rick turned back to Rick, smile playful. "After you." Negan gallantly extended his arm to the pantry door. Rick passed by at him, cheeks humiliatingly aflame. Negan followed Rick down to the storage space, seeming to blot out the sun with his imposing figure. Lucille for once, was not slung over his shoulder and Rick couldn't help but appreciate that small mercy. "Well look at the mess you have!" Negan's voice boomed out in the small pantry space, causing Rick to grit his teeth. The broken shelf had been put in the corner and the cans of food were neatly piled onto the side. He busied himself with organizing the cans, hoping that Negan would take what he wanted and leave. He felt the man lightly slap a hand down on his shoulder. Negan's hands were big. Everything about Negan was big. He loomed over Rick, all legs and broad shoulders that seemed to fill in doorways with effortless ease. "You got any beets, Rick? Gotta say, I've been craving that shit, lately."
Rick fought the urge to launch the can of peas at Negan's face, instead forcing himself to remain relaxed and unbothered. "We managed to find these in a cargo truck about 20 miles north of here." Rick explained as he showed Negan the contents, pushing aside a can of corn until he spotted what he was looking for. "Here, take this." Rick held out a can of beets. Honestly, with the gardens starting to bloom, the canned goods wasn't all that much of a loss. Negan however, looked very pleased.
"Goddamn, you're as sweet as apple pie aren't you?" Negan's voice boomed out as Rick handed him the canned goods. He tossed the can from one hand to another as he looked at Rick. "You miss it, Rick? Apple pie?"
"I don't really think of it." Rick shrugged. He looked away from Negan, reaching for the supply list and ticked off the beets with the pen.
"We still got apple trees around. I'm sure it wouldn't be too difficult to make it..." Negan murmured. Rick nodded, setting the pen aside, but not turning to face the older man. He felt Negan approach, standing close behind him, nearly touching him. "Apple pie is good and all," Negan continued speaking. "Personally though, I have always preferred...cherry." He felt Negan breathe against the back of his neck and his grip on the pen loosened between his fingers. "You like cherry pie, Rick?" Rick slowly turned, head tilting so he could meet Negan's eyes. The Savior was watching him from under hooded eyes, that seemed to glitter in the dim lighting. It was a euphemism. Rick understood that, but nonetheless it had him flustered and he could feel his cheeks heating up as he tried to think of something to say. He watched Negan's tongue dart out and wet his lips. This was Rick's chance. He needed to get over whatever reservations he had and give Negan some sort of hint. Anything.
"It's my second favorite." Rick murmured, voice steady despite the pounding of his heart. Negan's lips curled, suddenly excited that Rick was participating for once.
"What's your favorite?" Negan asked, hand moving up to place against the shelf, effectively blocking Rick in. Rick managed to keep his eyes on Negan, hoping that his own unease wasn't showing.
"Peach." Rick whispered and watched as Negan's tongue darted out once more, smile for once not predatory, but slipping into something else...something Rick couldn't place.
"Should have known," Negan drawled out, voice soft, fingers sliding down the shelf. "Sweet as Georgian peaches." Negan purred. Rick looked away at this, cheeks aflame. Now he didn't know what he needed to do. Negan's ability to take words out of Rick's mouth was frustrating. He felt the taller man move closer and he lifted his head in surprise, shocked at how close Negan's face was to his, their lips nearly touching. Rick's brows furrowed. Where did he go from here? What would Maggie and Michonne want him to do?
"Sweet?" He found himself speaking, voice strained, He set the can aside, fearing he would drop it.
Negan chuckled, head tilting down to mime Rick's own position. "The absolute sweetest. I'm liable to just eat you up." His fingers were suddenly on Rick, lightly running up his arm and it was all too much. Rick ducked his head, backing away from Negan and surprisingly the man didn't push forward. He didn't try to grab Rick. Instead, he took a step back until there was a comfortable distance between them, smile still in place.
"So you and your samurai girl patch things up?" Negan asked, suddenly, once again sprning to a new subject. Rick shook his head. He was silently thankful that no one had followed them down the stairs, allowing Negan's focus to remain on him. His eyes moved from Negan to the shelves.
"Nah...just didn't work out." It was off-putting to discuss something like this with Negan. As if allowing the man this sort of information left them both vulnerable to the man. Negan hummed, hand wiping absently at his jaw.
"Damn shame." He spoke the words, but he didn't sound like it was damn shame at all. He stared Rick in the eye, face impassive but dark eyes shining. "If I were her, I would have held on tight." His voice lowered to a whisper. Rick's brows furrowed, shuffling in what he hoped to be a shy way instead of uncomfortable.
"It sounds like you're flirtin' with me, Negan." He looked away, fixing his eyes on the pile of cans. He heard Negan breathe, the sound was heavy, more like a growl than anything else.
"Does that bother you, Rick?" He asked, voice still incredibly soft.
Yes.
Rick shrugged, feeling helpless. "I don't know...I don't understand." He lifted his head so he could study Negan's face. "Why are you doin' this?" It was a valid question and he genuinely wondered about it. Negan's eyes darted between his, mouth lax. For a second Rick was nervous he had done something to upset the taller man, but slowly Negan hummed his approval.
"How about this," He stated, hand once again stroking up Rick's arm. "Next week when we go on our little road-trip, I'll give you a bit of an explanation. How's that sound?"
"That sounds good." Rick whispered, feeling as if he was sealing his fate. Negan stepped back, hand dropping from Rick's arm and back to his side, fingers curling slightly.
"I'll be seein' you next week then, Rick. You be ready for me." He was watching Rick's reaction with an intense critical eye and Rick would only nod in acquiesce.
"I will be." Perhaps with those words, Rick had done just that.