...This hell you put me in
I'm underneath your skin
The devil within
You'll never know what hit you.

It baffled Rick that Negan turned out to be a pretty good partner while scavenging. Rick was weaponless on those outings, but Negan seemed to take that into consideration when they'd find a place. He's always act the part of a gallant gentleman, checking ahead in abandoned buildings to make sure nothing was looming in the shadows. They had yet to run into anything more than a couple stray walkers, but Negan handled them with a lazy sort of grace, using Lucille as a baton as he cracked into their skulls.

"Gotta stay sharp." He'd call over his shoulder, Lucille twirling idly at his side. "Never know what's hiding in plain sight."

Together, they managed to gather canned goods and several farming supplies that Negan had readily handed over to Rick with claims that the Sanctuary's soil was no good for planting. Rick had to dismiss the little flutter of pleasure in his stomach as he had looked over the hand tools and pack of seeds presented to him.

Like clockwork, once a week, Negan would be at the gate, waiting for Rick. Even if the Saviors were not expected for their usual pickups, Negan would still be there to take Rick away. Carl voiced his disapproval at first, but slowly seemed to reluctantly accept that Negan had more expectations for his father.

"It's just the way he looks at you sometimes." Carl had tried to explain his unease one evening as Rick had settled Judith down for bed, Carl watching him from the doorway, his dark blue eye fixed on his father.

"Like what." Rick had replied, waiting for Carl to call him out on everything, but the boy just shook his head.

"I can't explain it dad, it's just like he's...waiting for something."

Rick had assured his boy that Negan wouldn't do anything to him. "What good would it do him to kill me in the woods? If anything, he'd do it in front of everyone." He pointed out and Carl had smiled mirthlessly at this. As morbid as it was, it was true. Negan was a showman after all.

"Just...be careful." Carl had looked all of ten years old in that moment; uncertain and frustrated but desperate to keep his father safe. Rick pulled Carl in for a hug and surprisingly the boy accepted it, head resting against his father's shoulders. Neither spoke. Neither needed to say a thing.

So, Rick continued with the scavenging trips. He was almost enjoying himself too. Negan always made sure that Rick had something to bring back to Alexandria and the more supplies that could go to his people, the happier Rick was. It seemed to be working out as well. The pickups had lessened and when Negan did show up, he was just as relaxed and charismatic as ever, but the hunter in his eyes had receded. The blasé, cruelty that Negan had presented to Alexandria seemed to simmer into something less frightening and more teasing.

He never touched Rick in front of the Alexandrians though. He seemed to take himself seriously when he mentioned the risk it could present to Rick if his people caught wind.

Rick quickly found himself becoming accustomed to the rides with Negan. They'd go out to scavenge, but Rick could always feel those dark eyes on him, as if waiting for something. "You set the speed of this, Rick. I'm not gonna push this into anything you're not comfortable with." He said that a lot and Rick wondered if he actually meant it.

Negan sounded so assured, one hand idly twirling the curls at the back of Rick's head and the other on the wheel as he stared at the younger man. He had said this many times and each time Rick waited for it to turn around. For Negan to lose patience or catch onto Rick's ploy. He never wavered.

It was nearly sundown when Negan had pulled the truck onto the side of the road, shutting the engine off. Rick had looked towards his, brows furrowing curiously as he watched Negan tap his long fingers against the worn wheel.

"You ever stop to just watch the sunset?" Negan asked, voice uncharacteristically soft. Rick stared at Negan, uncertain on how to respond as the man stared out the dusty windshield. "Like the world is still normal even though the people on it changed." His voice trailed off and Rick eyed his hand, which was resting on the worn leather seat. He reached forward, reluctant, but feeling like it was the appropriate course of action. His pinky lightly touched Negan's. The older man's hand twitched as if shocked and Rick pulled back as if burned only for Negan to reach out and grasp his hand, giving it a gentle squeeze and pulled it up to press and tender kiss to the underside of his wrist, dark eyes still fixed onto the skyline. Rick's skin prickled at the sensation of Negan's bristly beard against his skin.

"World's not gonna end just cause of us." Rick mused. "Sun's still gonna rise and set and the dead are still gonna walk." It wasn't a very optimistic look on life, but it was reality.

"Makes me wonder when it's all gonna end." Negan't baritone voice was barely above a whisper. "It started from nothing...will it end like it, too?" Negan blinked, shaking his head as if shaking out whatever thoughts were in he head. He shot Rick a sly grin. It didn't reach his eyes. He released Rick's hand, stretching his arm out as he reached to turn the ignition on. He paused. "Oh, before I forget..." Negan suddenly moved over Rick, reaching for the glovebox and opening it. "Got you something." He rummaged around for a moment before pulling out a small white box and handed to Rick who took it with a dubious look cast Negan's way. Negan chuckled, leaning back in his seat and motioning towards Rick. "Go on, it's nothing bad. I promise." Rick gingerly lifted the lid of the box, setting it aside as he picked up the three objects inside.

He felt a flutter in his chest.

"Is that..." Rick stared at the little shapes offered to him.

"Teething rings for Judy. Had some of my boys...well my boys found them while scavenging. Made sure they were clean and shit." Negan replied, suddenly very interested in the small crack in the windshield. Rick held the teething rings in his hand, feeling an odd warmth join that flutter in his chest.

"Thank you, Negan." He murmured and for the first time, he truly meant it.

"It was nothing." Negan replied quickly, still looking at the windshield. It was an odd day where Negan was jumping on Rick thanking him. An odd day where he tried to brush those thanks aside. "Just happened to find them-" Rick was suddenly moving forward, slotting his mouth again Negan's in a kiss. He heard Negan release a surprised noise against his mouth, his hands coming to rest on his hip. It wasn't a sexual kiss or risqué, but it was further than Rick had ever allowed with Negan before as he cupped the man's stubbled jaw, his kisses tasting like thanks. He could picture Judith chewing on these rings and settling down without the pain of teething keeping her up all night. Rick pulled back, suddenly aware that he was going a bit overboard with his gratitude.

'Let Negan chase.' A voice that dubiously sounded like a mix of Rosita and Michonne hissed in his ear.

"I'm sorry, I-" He began and was not at all surprised when Negan reached for him, practically pulling Rick into his lap as he kissed him back, his large hand holding the back of Rick's neck. Negan's kiss was far hungrier than Rick's had been. There was no shyness or hesitation and Rick could only close his eyes and allow Negan to take control of the kiss, tongue sliding across Rick's lower lip, before diving in. Rick's breath hitched, hands grasping at the leather of Negan's jacket as he adjusted himself so he could properly straddle the man, never breaking the kiss.

"Shit-" Negan pulled away, sounding breathless and staring up at Rick with large, shining dark eyes. "Rick, don't feel like you have to do this. If I'm making you uncom-"

"Shut up, Negan." Rick quickly cut Negan off, diving down and slotting his lips against his. Funny how someone like Negan would care so much about making Rick comfortable. He had never been that concerned during pickups or threatening Carl. He heard Negan chuckle into the kiss, his hands sliding down Rick's back until both large palms were suddenly cupping each cheek of Rick's ass. He gave a little squeeze and Rick was mortified to feel himself harden as the feel of it.

"How is it," Negan murmured between kisses, "That you turn on such a fucking dime? One second you're all shy and shit and now look at you." He offered Rick a smile, eyes half lidded. Rick pulled back, hands lowering from Negan's side as he averted his eyes, face heating up in embarrassment. For a second, he nearly lost his nerve.

"Won't do anything unless you say yes, Rick."

There was no way to avoid it. He needed to push a little more, keep Negan focused on him. Give him something to chew on. Rick settled against Negan, straddling him so Negan could feel how hard he was. He heard Negan's intake of breath and internally gloated in triumph. He turned Negan's face back to kiss him again, nipping at his lower lip, sucking on it lightly. "Guess I just got a little carried away." Rick whispered, arms moving to rest on Negan's shoulders.

"That was a hell of a thank you, Sheriff." Negan drawled, lifting his hips enough so that Rick could feel how hard his was against his jeans. Rick's cheeks flared despite his attempts to remain cool and controlled. Negan of course took the blushing as arousal rather than embarrassment. He cupped his face, thumb stroking down his jaw as his dark eyes darted between Rick's. His lips curved into a grin and he released a throaty chuckle as he studied the man in his lap. "Damn, you're something else." He mused, hand moving through Rick's curls. Rick was surprised the man couldn't hear how loudly his heart was pounding in his chest. It was a dull roar in Rick's ears. "If only I could get into that head of yours."

'You wouldn't like what you see.' Rick thought.

"Thank you for the teething rings." Rick finally managed to find his voice and Negan hummed again, leaning his head back.

"If that's how you thank me for some teething rings I can only imagine the thanks I'd get if I fuckin' got you something you really needed." He waggled his eyebrows at the Alexandrian.

"No," Rick shook his head, stroking his fingers down the hair at the nape of Negan's neck. "I really needed these. Judith's been miserable."

Negan's smile turned tender. "Papa Rick." His voice crooned, pressing a kiss to Rick's shoulder. "Better return you to your boy before he sends out the search party."

Judith was up when Rick got home, fussing in Carl's arms as the boy failed to sooth her. When he saw his father walk through the door, the relief was nearly palpable. "She won't settle down." He explained and motioned the the used rag discarded on the floor. "She won't take the rag anymore, either." Rick held up the teething rings and watched Carl's eye widen at it.

"Where's you get those?" He asked, looking hald scandalized, as if Rick had been holding out.

Rick set the knapsack on the counter and moved to the sink to clean the rings. "Negan found them." He replied, running them under the water.

"And he just gave them to you?" Carl asked, shifting Judith to his other arm as she reached out for her father with a miserable wail, face shining with snot and tears.

"I can't tell if he's got a soft spot for kids or likes holdin' these thangs over my head." Rick replied as he took Judith into his arms. The little girls' lip wobbled as she reached for her father with grasping fingers. "Hi baby, I know..." Rick hummed, bouncing her gently on his hip and offering her the blue teething ring, hopefully. Judith quickly shoved the teething ring into her mouth, head resting against Rick's shoulder as she gnawed at the ring. Rick's shoulders sagged in relief, bouncing his daughter gently as he paced around the kitchen. Carl smiled slightly, taking off his stetson and setting it on the counter as he ran a hand through his wild hair. He watched as Rick cleaned at her teary face and she allowed it, now content to rest her little head against his shoulder, mouthing at the teething ring and twirling sleepily at her curly hair.

"I'm gonna go to bed." Carl announced and Rick nodded, reaching out for him. The boy rolled his eye, but allowed Rick to pull him into a side hug, pressing his lips against his boy's hair.

"Thank you for looking after her tonight."

"Yeah yeah." Carl waved him off, but smiling none the less. "Me and Enid are going on a run tomorrow, remember." He fixed his dad with a hard look and Rick rolled his eyes, patting Judith's back.

"I remember. You got get some sleep." Rick nodded to the door and Carl waved, before heading for the stairs, steps loud as he bounded for his room. He looked to Judith who was beginning to doze in his arms. "You too, baby? C'mon." He carried her out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. It was where Michonne would find him fifteen minutes later.

"Where'd you find those?" Michonne asked, indicating to the teething ring now set on the dresser and echoing Carl's words as she leaned against the doorframe and watching Rick and Judith with a small smile.

"Negan gave them to me." Rick explained as he offered her a return smile. Michonne hummed at this, fingers drumming over her arm.

"He's been awfully generous since you started this." She mused, voice dropping and lips twitching into a satisfied smile and Rick loathed the 'I told you so' that were in her eyes. He inclined his head towards her, smile turning almost coy.

"I guess my old awkward self has something he likes." He teased and the woman snorted out a laugh, eyes crinkling.

"Don't sell yourself short. There's a whole lot your old awkward self has that he likes." Her dark eyes moved in a very direct manner up and down his frame and Rick fought down laughter at the sight of her teasing leer. "Thank you for doing this." Michonne's voice suddenly softened into something somber. "I know you were nervous about this whole thing, but it's definitely helped a lot."

"Has it?" Rick asked, motioning to the hall. He gently closed the door behind him. They headed back towards the kitchen, settling against the counter and talking in hushed voices.

"We have more time to gather and from what Sasha has told me, he barely goes to the other communities anymore. Sends Arat instead of Simon. She's not soft or anything, but she won't go after a kid for getting in her way."

Rick could recall offhandedly mentioning to Negan how Simon scared the kids in Alexandria. How he had made Enid cry during a pickup when the girl had dropped a box she was carrying towards the trucks. Rick had barely even been thinking about it and was surprised that Negan had remembered. Michonne smiled at him again, as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

"You're influencing him and keeping him distracted. Things are gonna turn around for us, just you wait." She reached out and gave his hand a little squeeze. Rick returned her smile, reaching out to stroke a hand down her cheek. She leaned into his palm, pressing a kiss against his fingers. "Don't lose focus. We still have a ways to go before we're ready to fight." She pulled away from him, leaving his fingers feeling cold. Rick was not planning on this all slipping from him. He would do whatever he needed to do to weaken Negan's defenses, but he would not break down while doing it. He couldn't risk it. Every time Negan came to Alexandria and took from his people, Rick would remember his hatred, but there were inexplicable moments, where his resolve would nearly waver. Where Negan would bring his people badly needed supplies, or have his men help around the community. Those were the moments that were the most dangerous. Those were the moments where Rick could almost trick himself into thinking there could be something more to Negan.

He couldn't risk thinking like that. Couldn't risk thinking of Negan as anything less than the monster he was.

That night when he dreamt to Negan, it was not of Lucille or the endless fog that Rick had thought he was suffocating on. Instead he dreamt of those dark eyes...hazel with flecks of gold and the colors of autumn. He dreamt of that smile. No blood streaked sneer or chilling laugh, just that small gentle smile from earlier in the truck.

Rick felt like he could get lost in that smile.