Emily's POV
The weeks passed amazingly with Paige for the rest of September. Everything between me and Paige has been so perfect it's hard to imagine how tough things were before our relationship began. We were so stupidly happy with each other it drove our friends crazy when we were together. Hanna still squealed at every intimate moment she'd catch us in, whether it was whispering to each other, an arm around the waist or a simple kiss. Everything was so great and getting better the more we got to know each other.
After Paige's week of rest prescribed by Wren was up she went into hard core training mode. She insisted that she had to make up for her week off by swimming during lunches and running morning and night. On top of that the last two weekends she'd been going back to the city to be with her friends and family. I was glad she was still spending time with them still but I missed her a lot when she was gone. Tonight, we were finally able to fit in some alone time after swim practice for dinner at her house, something I've been excited for all day. I offered to cook but she insisted on getting takeout from The Brew and having a completely relaxed night. After dinner we cuddled up on the couch watching TV while I was snuggled closely into her side. Even being this close to Paige still brought the sensation of butterflies through my body, it was truly amazing.
"Emmy?" Paige whined at me, looking up to me with her perfect chocolate brown eyes. Whatever she wanted it wasn't likely I was going to be able to resist for long.
"Whatever you want, you can forget it, Paige" I tried to maintain my composure and she pouted at me and looked away. "Fiiiine! What is it?"
"My back is really killing me after those swimming drills today, can you give me a massage? Pleeeeeeeaaaase?" She begged. Yeah, she was impossible to resist, especially when she was trying to be overly cute.
I smirked at her, I made it out like it would be chore but I could almost guarantee I would enjoy this more than she would. "Ugh! You so owe me for this" I groaned as I repositioned myself on the couch, allowing her to sit in between my legs so I could work her shoulders and upper back.
"You're the best, Em" She grinned and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek before she turned around and relaxed her body.
"Yeah, yeah. I think you're just using me for my amazing massaging skills" I joked as I began massaging her back gently. She was very knotted up so I guessed her back had actually been hurting her pretty bad. "God, Paige! You need to cut back your exercising, I don't even think Ican undo half of this damage"
She moaned and leaned into my hands. "mmmm….No it feels so good. You're doing a great job. And I officially feel better about that week off anyway so I'm no longer running at nights" She sighed again as I worked around her neck and shoulders. Her soft moans were driving me crazy and I was struggling to keep myself together.
"Good. You were starting to worry me with all of that exercising and I don't like the idea of you running in the woods at night. People get lost there all of the time in broad daylight and you're out there in the dark where—"
"What? The boogie man could get me?" Paige interrupted and then began laughing.
"Hey! It's not funny, Paige. That's where Allison went missing a couple years ago and I know they caught Ian bu—" Paige cut me off again.
"Em, relax. I'm done running at night anyways so you have nothing to worry about. Although I did almost get lost in there yesterday morning. I didn't realise how deep those trials went. Anyway I'm glad I didn't go missing because what would I do out in the woods where my amazinggirlfriend couldn't massage me? I don't think I would survive" She joked. It still baffled me how Paige could calm me down in a second after working me up and then to top it off make a joke that would get us both laughing.
"Well you call me if you ever decide to run there at night again, so at least I know that when you do get lost I can give the police an estimation as to where you might be" I joked back.
"Deal" Paige agreed and I breathed a sigh of relief. She often called me overprotective but she was a bit reckless about her safety as I was finding. She was always pushing herself which drove me mad but I accepted it because it was part of who she was, but when it came to her safety I didn't like taking chances, I'd already seen her get hurt enough.
I was thinking about how much I mothered her when I suddenly remembered my own mom. "Paige there is a debt to pay for this amazingmassage I'm giving you" I said suggestively.
"Anything for you, what's up?"
"Dinner. Tomorrow night at my house. My mom is dying to meet you, I talk about you all the time and it drives her insane that she hasn't met you yet" I explained.
Paige tensed up instantly. Of course it made sense because of the stories I told her about my mom and Maya along with her own family issues. "Uhm..ha! Em if that's the debt of this massage, I'm expecting a happy ending" She joked but I could hear the panic in her voice.
"Funny, Paige. Seriously, you have nothing to worry about, my mom wantsto meet you. You're the type of person she wants me to be with and you don't have anything to be afraid of. Actually, she pretty much already knows everything about you considering how much I talk about you" It was true. I drove my mom insane with the Paige this, Paige thattalk. She just wanted me to hurry up and invite her over and seeing as it has been just about a month, now is the perfect time.
Paige relaxed a little bit and turned around to face me. I put my arm around her and cupped her face softly. "Alright, Em. If you think it's a good idea I'll be there" She smiled at me and looked a little better than when I first suggested the idea.
"It's kind of cute actually, you getting all nervous about meeting her. It shows you care"
Paige looked at me seriously and held my hand to her cheek, "Of course I care, Emily. Now, let's go pick me out an outfit to wear to dinner tomorrow" She leaned in and kissed me passionately before taking my hand and leading me to the bedroom to go through her wardrobe.
Paige's POV
There was no denying that I was nervous for tonight. My palms were sweaty as I gripped the steering wheel on the way to the Fields' house. Although Emily reassured me all day that I had nothing to worry about, it didn't help much now that I was alone to my thoughts on the way to dinner. What if I said something stupid? I tend to do that a lot. I really wanted Mrs. Fields to approve of me, because if she didn't it basically meant me and Emily weren't going to work out. I pulled up in the driveway of their beautiful two story home and took a deep breath deciding it was best not to sit and think about it, I went out into the crisp fall night and approached the door.
Emily answered it, bringing me in for a quick hug and kiss while whispering in my ear, "Relax, babe. She's going to adore you just be yourself" I nodded weakly at her and she held my hand and led me into the kitchen to meet her mother. Their house was very comfortable and homey. There were family photos and everything was decorative and tasteful, but not so showy as to think there wasn't a family living here. I envied this kind of household as it was the opposite of my parents' house in Philly.
She led me into the kitchen, never letting go of my hand even when I pulled lightly as we came into view of her mother. She just squeezed my hand tightly, letting me know she was there and not letting go. Mrs. Fields smiled at us and I could see where Emily got her beauty from. She was tall, curvy, and toned like Emily with that same beautiful dark hair, dark eyes and tan complexion.
She spoke first, approaching me with an endearing smile. "You must be Paige, I can't even tell you how much I've heard about you, it's nice to finally meet you"
I pulled my hand away from Emily to shake her hand "Nice to meet you as well, Mrs. Fields. Dinner smells amazing" I shocked myself with how confident I felt all of the sudden. I noticed Emily smile at me as she took my hand back in hers.
"Please, call me Pam, we're not formal here. I want you to feel at home with us" She said sweetly
"Thanks, that's very kind of you. It's nice to be in a house for once actually, I'm so glad Emily invited me here"
"Good, I'm hoping to see a lot more of the girl my daughter can't shut up about!" Pam joked
"Mom!" Emily cut her off, "Please save sharing embarrassing stories until like the third or fourth time Paige has been here, you're gonna scare her away" Emily whined.
"Oh, sorry honey. I didn't mean to embarrass you. Sorry Paige, I just feel like I know you so much already" Pam explained. I knew what she meant. I'd known the woman for all of five minutes and I felt so comfortable around her. Everything with Emily always felt so right, I thought with conviction.
I smiled at her, "Thank you, Pam. I really want to thank you for being so welcoming. It means a lot to me"
"Of course, dear"
Dinner went by perfectly. We talked mostly about my life, but I didn't mind because I really did want Pam to feel like she knew who I was. She was very friendly and endearing the entire time. I found myself thinking about what my family dinners were like and realised how much of a family life I missed out on. Our once a month family dinners usually ended in an argument between me and my dad along with a grounding for me and a lot of slammed doors. We finished dinner and Emily and I offered to do the dishes after thanking Pam for a delicious meal.
"I think for Paige's good health we should have her over every night for dinner mom, she's honestly worse of a cook than dad" Emily joked as she washed our plates while I dried them.
"Let me guess? A lot of microwaving is involved?" Pam teased me.
"Emily finally taught me how to set the oven timer so I've been using that a little bit too. I actually managed not to burn the spaghetti last night" I joked, causing a laugh from them both.
Emily looked at me and groaned, flicking water at me "Paige, first of all you're not supposed to put spaghetti in the oven…second of all, oh what's the point? Mom do you see what I mean? She's hopeless in the kitchen!" I looked at her, pretending to be offended and splashed water back at her.
Pam laughed again and smiled as Emily and I continued splashing forth at each other, flirting like little kids. "Well, like I said, you're welcome here anytime, Paige. No need for an invitation just come on over" Pam smiled at me.
"That's really nice of you to offer, I really do like being here, but I'm not one to impose" I replied politely. The last thing I wanted was for Pam to get sick of me.
Pam looked at me and spoke softly "Look, I know we've just met but what I was trying to get at before was that Emily told me about your situation of why you're here in Rosewood. As much as I disagree with your parents…umm.. independent lifestyle for you, well I just want you to know I'm here for you if you ever need an adult for anything. I don't care what it is, even if you just need a night here so you're not alone, just please don't be afraid to talk to me alright?" I wanted to tear up. Of course this would be Emily's mother, sweet and caring, like mother like daughter.
"Thank you very much. It's been hard sometimes but I've pretty much adjusted. I will call though, if I need anything, I don't want you worrying about me like Emily does…allthe time" I smirked.
"That would be my Emmy. She cares about you a lot though Paige, and I know you care about her too, so don't worry about having my approval because from the moment Emily told me about you, I pretty much already liked you"
"Mom! You're doing it again, stop!" Emily blushed, turning crimson and glared at her mother.
"Alright, alright I'm done. I'm going to go upstairs to call your dad, you two have fun" She wondered out of the kitchen and before I knew it Emily had pulled me into an embrace, pressing her lips to mine in a heated kiss.
"You are so incredible" She whispered into my ear. "I'm surprised she didn't ask you to move in" Emily joked.
"I'm glad she likes me, I was really worried she wouldn't approve and I wouldn't know what to do"
"I told you there was nothing to worry about" Emily poked my nose lightly with her index finger. I realised how hard I was falling for her, especially because of moments like this.
This weekend coming up I planned on taking her to Philly, it was time she saw my life in the city. I was excited at the thought of her seeing me where I really felt comfortable. I would call Kelly tonight when I got home and make plans for a small party at her house on Saturday where we could stay and Emily could meet everyone.
"Alright, I've met your parents. Well I guess just your mom but anyway, now it's time you met my family" I smiled devilishly at her and her face turned to sheer panic. I was mean to her like this sometimes but it made up for all of the sass and teasing I would get from her.
"I—uh..Paige? did you tell them about us? Does your father know you're…?" She trailed off and her eyes looked distant.
"He doesn't know yet, but I'm sick of hiding it. But that's not even what I'm talking about so you can relax. I wouldn't put you through that just yet, by family, I meant my friends in Philly" I smirked at her and she punched me hard in the stomach. "Uhhf! Jeeze, Em. You abuse me a lot did you know that?"
"Yeah, well you're a jerk a lot! Did you know that?"She imitated me in a lame voice.
"So sassy all the time. But ask your mom about going to Philadelphia next Saturday for the night and tell her we'll be staying with my good friend Kelly and her parents will be home and I'll leave the house number with her" I explained.
"Sounds perfect! I can't wait to meet your friends Paige" Emily smiled at me but then went serious. "Wait, Paige? Did you say you were sick of hiding it? Are you thinking about telling your parents about us?" She looked scared again so I held her hand and squeezed it softly.
"I don't like the idea that I'm hiding you, Em. Even if it's just from them. The sooner they know I'm gay the sooner they accept it or at least get over it. After this dinner with your mom, I dunno I just wish I could give you the same experience with my family. I know that will never happen, it's not who they are and I want to protect you from that. I want them to know about you at least, even if that's all I can offer for now" I wished things could be different with my family, that I could take Emily and introduce her to them and not have the house break out in World War III.
Emily's eyes got watery and I wondered what was going on in her mind "I just don't want them to like, send you away or something" Emily looked at me with fear and hurt.
I laughed softly "Oh, Emily! If I thought that was even a possibility I would never even think about telling them. Don't worry, I'm not ready to leave Rosewood just yet and they won't send me way, trust me. They exiled me here for swimming remember? They won't send me away from the best opportunity for a scholarship. Don't worry alright? Just be excited for this weekend." I reassured her.
"You know, it's not fair that you're so sure about all of this" She mumbled. I looked at her in complete confusion. "I mean it's great but I wish I was this sure about who I was when I came out. I spent most of my life trying to hide the feelings from myself and then when I accepted it, I still hid it from the world for a long time. But you're not ashamed at all, you amaze me" she explained.
I chuckled lightly again "Being myself has never been a problem, Emily. Not for anything and this was never any different. But you also make it easier" I looked deep into her eyes trying to show her what I meant.
"What do you mean by that?" She asked
"You make me wantto be myself around everyone, Em. Because you think I'm worth it, and everything with you feel right" I want to show the world I deserve you.I didn't say that out loud but it was the real reason I wasn't afraid.
Emily looked at me in awe again and as if lost for words she leaned in and kissed me. The kiss became heated quickly as she pushed her tongue along my lip, looking to deepen the kiss. I quickly granted her entrance and moved my hands along her stomach. Our physical relationship had not changed much since we began dating. We made out a lot, until things got too heated, and we would both grudgingly break apart to maintain control. It was getting harder each time it happened but we were both on the same page that we needed to keep things slow for now.
Emily broke the kiss, pulling back slightly. "Paige I…." she paused and looked at me in terror. Was she really going to say it those three words. No, it must have been something else. I hadn't even thought about that. Did she love me? Do I love her? I've never been in a relationship like this before how am I supposed to even know what loving someone feels like. What am I talking about of course I loved her. I had no doubts about that. She must have seen the fear in my eyes because she quickly looked down to hide her expression from me. Why couldn't I say it?
"I should probably go, yeah?" I mumbled, pulling away from her. "Uh.. I'll see you later.. I mean tomorrow. Yeah school or whatever" Ugh could I be more awkward?
"Oh…Kay? I'll see you tomorrow Paige" She looked up extremely confused.
"Thanks for dinner, it was great" I walked out the door, into my car and when I arrived to my apartment I banged my head against the door. I sat there for a minute analysing my idiotic behavior. Emily most likely wasn't going to say what I thought anyway. I was confident she liked me but there was just no way she would be in lovewith me. I was being ridiculous and super awkward for nothing. And She was commenting how amazing I was and then I just blew it by acting like a complete fool! Good job Paige!
I woke up early the next morning to the sound of my phone buzzing. I rolled over and checked the caller I.D to see it was my dad. What a lovely way to start the morning.
"Hello?" I groaned into the phone
"Paige, you're awake. Good" well I am now, dad.
"Yeah I'm awake… what's going on is there a reason you called me this early?" I asked
"Well, yes. I think you know why" He said sternly. "I see that your times in backstroke went up from last week…please explain to me why this happened" of course he would see the fault. Not that I shaved my butterfly time by a second consistently but that I gained a little bit of time in the backstroke, something I never even swim in for competition.
Usually I would let it go and apologize but he called me too early and my wall was up "Are you serious? Did you even look at my time for the butterfly? Obviously not or you wouldn't be calling" I raised my voice, something risky even if it was only a phone call.
"Don't start with me, Paige! I sent you to Rosewood to improve your times and get a scholarship, and you're clearly not doing that" he scolded.
He gave me perfect ammunition "Oh! So we can both agree that you sentme here then and it wasn't my choice? My times have improved! The ones that matter! Me and Emily have been working all week on shaving seconds for the first competition" I let Emily's name slip out and remembered my dad only seeing her as competition. He warned me about her, saying she was ranked very high and our times were very close. My dad was clueless about how close Emily and I really were.
"Emily? The team captain? She's you're competition too, Paige. You're both fighting for the same awards and you need to be the best thing on that team! You don't need to make any friends especially not with the Fields girl" he sneered. The way he talked about Emily like she was nothing completely set me off.
"Would you listen to yourself? She's the team captain dad and she's helping me! we're helping each other that's why my times have imp—"
"I don't wanna hear it, Paige. What I want to hear is that you've got the best times and are setting records in that damn school. I want to hear about scouts coming to Rosewood for you not this Emily Fields—"
"Shut up!" I screamed, tears running down my cheeks in anger. "You don't even know her dad! She's the only reason I can actually accept my life here"
"What's that supposed to mean?" He snarled
"It means she's my girlfriend, dad. It means I'm gay and Emily Fields is my girlfriend and if you say anymore rude shit about her…" I trailed off in an open threat. "She helps me with my times anyways dad, you've seen them improve over the last few weeks, you can't deny the evidence" I mumbled.
I heard my father laugh over the phone. How he made me angrier than I already am was beyond me. "You're gay?Really, Paige?" he laughed again and I clenched the phone tighter in my hand. "If you want my attention, you don't need to go to extremes like that. Just improve your times" He kept laughing and then the line went dead. He had just hung up.
Everything around me went blurry with tears of anger. I turned and whipped my phone at the wall and watched it smash to pieces on the ground. I would regret that later but right now I was beyond caring. I rummaged through my unpacked box of pictures and found the stupid family photo my mom gave me as a 'moving away' gift. I picked up the picture frame and whipped it at the wall, smiling as the glass smashed. I continued tearing apart anything and everything that reminded me of my father in my apartment until I was so warn out that I crashed on my bed, sobbing loudly. I had destroyed mugs, ripped the cushions off the couch, kicked the side table, knocked over the bookshelf and send books flying across the living room, and smashed a few dishes I took from the house in Philly. The place was a disaster now but I was so upset I still hadn't mustered up the feeling of regret.
My father always won. I tell him I'm gay out of spite and he doesn't even get angry? If you want my attention, just improve your times.He laughed at I wanted his attention, he thought I was lying. I thought again about the mess around my apartment and realised how much I had really destroyed. This was going to be a disaster to clean up but I could save that for later. I just needed to run away from it all right now.
I put on my gear and sprinted to the woods, following the trails until I had gone farther than I ever had before. I must have been running for over an hour but I didn't care, I just kept going. Finally, my body was more tired than my mind so I came to a rest. I sat on a fallen tree and let myself cry again.
There was no longer any question. I didn't love my dad, I couldn't. I actually hated him! How horrible does a person have to be that their own kid wishes he would never call, never visit again. Any contact from now own would be from his side only.
I contemplated what I could do to show my dad he wasn't going to win. I could quit swimming but I loved it so much for myself that even quitting would be a victory for him. He would have taken the one thing I was sure about in my life. I could run away but then where would I go? Surely when he figured that out he would close out my accounts and I would have no one along with no money. I could drop out of school and move back to Philly and live with Kelly but I didn't even want to think about being in the same city as him, no matter how big Philly was, it was still too close. And then there was Emily to think about.
The truth was, staying in Rosewood was my victory. Proving to him that Emily was a real thing is how I would win. I didn't care about being the best swimmer, not if Emily was the one in front of me. Emily was my victory so staying in Rosewood was my only solution. I checked my wrist watch and realised half the day had already gone by. Luckily there was no swim practice tonight so I could take my time and walk back home. It took three and a half hours to walk back out of the woods but it was peaceful. The run had helped me clear my mind and I made my decision. My father couldn't disown me, that wasn't a good way to treat an investment. But I could disown him. Cut as many ties as possible while still having him pay for my life in Rosewood. I would never call home anymore. No more family visits. I was officially emancipated in my mind.
I walked around The Brew to my apartment and saw that Emily's car was parked beside mine. School had ended about ten minutes ago so she must have wondered why I didn't show up or text her. I was going to have some explaining to do, she was always so worried about me and missing school without a text to her was definitely going to result in a scolding. The truth was I actually needed her right now, more than anyone so I was glad she was here. I looked in the driver's side of her car, expecting to see her there.
Shit! I had showed her where I hid my spare key and she would no doubt be inside by now. I remembered how I left the apartment early this morning (could it really have been that long ago?) I sprinted up the stairs and opened the door, I could hear her broken sobs and I realised how disastrous the apartment looked. It probably looked as if someone had broken in. There was stuff everywhere and with me nowhere to be found… it was Emily, she without a doubt would assume the worst.
"Emily!" I called, running into my bedroom and seeing her crumpled on my bed.
"Paige!" she looked up at me and I had never seen her look so distraught. It made me want to break down crying just seeing her this way. She was a complete mess, clutching my broken phone in her hands weakly. She forced herself up from the bed, bolting across the small space and pulling me into a tight embrace, kissing my neck, my shoulders, my cheek, anywhere her lips could find. This was exactly what I needed. Why didn't I just go to her this morning? I was holding her tightly and as I went to pull away she just forced herself into me more, showing no intentions of letting go. I felt her sobs deep in her chest as she leaned her body into mine. I found myself leaning back, and suddenly it wasn't me holding her anymore, she was holding me. Finally, she pulled back and looked me up and down slowly.
"Where have you been? I tried calling when I didn't see you at school and when you never showed I came here!" she sobbed again and I realised how much this really scared her. "And then I open the door with the key under the mat and the place is torn apart, you're phone was destroyed and you were… you were… what happened?" she finally asked, crying again while running her hands up and down my body.
I cupped her face in my hands, rubbing my thumb gently across her cheeks, whipping the tears away. "Em, babe, calm down! Look at me, I'm alright okay? just take a deep breath, calm yourself down and I'll explain" I soothed her. She was going to hate me for scaring her this much over nothing so I wanted her to at least be able to breathe when I told her this was my own doing.
"I thought… I thought someone took you Paige! I was just about to dial 911 when you called out for me" her sobs quieted as I caressed her cheeks, staring deeply into her eyes.
"Emily" I forced her to look at me. "I did all of this alright? Nobody touched me" I couldn't really say nobody hurt me today because that would have been a lie.
She looked around at the mess and tensed instantly. "Paige?" she asked in shock.
"My dad called," I continued to explain everything that had happened, and my long run in the woods. "Emily I'm so sorry I didn't call you or leave a note or whatever. Everything just built up and I wasn't thinking, I was running. I promise you I'm alright now okay? I'm not hurt, I'm not leaving"
She took everything in quietly and when I finished she looked up at me and broke down in angry sobs again. "Damn it Paige I was worried sick about you! I thought you were gone, I thought someone…" she yelled and began punching me in the stomach, again and again as she broke down in deep sobs again. "Don't you ever, ever do that to me again Paige don't you get how much I care about you! I don't like thinking I've lost someone I love alright? I've dealt with enough of that and you are way to reckless and I just can't…" she trailed off but continued punching me, pushing me back roughly on the bed.
She was a complete mess right now and I could understand, I deserved the yelling and probably much worse for putting her through today. Even if it was just a few minutes of thinking I had been kidnapped it clearly broke her. "Emily I told you I wasn't thinking—ouch—jeeze, Em who taught you to punch?"
"Yeah well think about me next time for once!" Her punches softened and she went back to sobbing quietly again.
"I do think about you, Em. All of the time. That's why I was so mad today I couldn't handle my dad's disrespect and ignorance. I really am sorry for scaring you, I didn't think anyone would see the apartment and I didn't plan on being gone all day" I sat up and looked at her standing over me and I tensed for another good hit to the stomach.
Instead she pounced on me, straddling my hips and pushing me back on the bed while leaning down and kissing my neck again, "Yeah well you try going 5 minutes thinking I'm dead and we'll see how you handle it" She mumbled. She rolled off of me to lay beside me, our legs remained entangled and I reached over to stroke her hair softly while looking her straight in the eye. I imagined what she said and shuddered at the thought of someone hurting her.
"I love you too by the way" I whispered, smiling lightly. I hadn't missed what she said before about losing people she loved.
"Yeah well you have one hell of a way of showing it" She mumbled, clearly still upset. "Seriously Paige you couldn't have borrowed the phone at The Brew for five seconds? I would have been here for you"
I sighed and looked deep into her eyes "I didn't want you to see me like that. I think you can see I have a bit of a temper…although clearly it pales in comparison to yours. I'm going to have bruises for weeks!" I leaned in trying to her a light kiss on the nose but she tensed and pulled away. That hurt. The hurt I felt reminded me of all my anger towards my father. Today had been too emotional for me to handle and I felt my own tears begin to fall as I remembered everything that had happened.
Emily saw my tears and her face fell again. She cupped my cheek with her hand and I immediately felt better. Going to the woods was a bad idea, I really should have just gone to Emily, she made everything better. "Paige, it's alright. I'm here okay? I want to see you when you're angry and upset. Because I want to help you and shutting me out only hurts us both. I do love you, a lot actually, although you make it a very emotional job sometimes. Stop fighting with yourself and talkto me"
I leaned in and gave her a sweet kiss on the lips. "I love you Emily, I really do. I don't think there was ever a doubt in my mind" I kissed her again and sighed "I love you" I whispered again, I couldn't get over how great it sounded to say it out loud.
"Last night then?" she asked teasingly and I groaned, deciding to explain truthfully.
"Well you just surprised me I guess. I didn't expect you to say it so soon I thought maybe if you said it you would want to take it back or something" she went to protest but I put my finger over her lips. "Relax, babe. I know you meant it I was being stupid, and I was also being stupid today for scaring you like that so tell me how to make it up to you and I will do anything" I promised.
"You better! Ugh! I'm still extremely mad at you" she pushed me lightly again and I could see her begging to cave.
I laughed and leaned down to kiss her again, "I know, and honestly if anyone does break in and you're here, I fear for their lives because you, Miss Fields, are one scary person when you're mad" I said jokingly.
"Fuck off Paige, It's too soon for those kind of jokes" She frowned at me.
I smiled lightly "Oh C'mon maybe just a little laugh?" I pouted at her "For me? because I'm sooooo adorable?" She called me that a lot so I decided to use it against her to win her over.
"Not today you're not!" she held her ground. "Today you're the person who scared me to death, and Paige one more thing?" she looked at me seriously.
"What?" I asked reluctantly
"You stink like you've been running all day! Go take a shower" She smiled and I rolled my eyes at her.
"Care to join me?" I asked jokingly.
"No way! You're still in trouble" She laughed as she pushed me off of her.
"Ugh! I can't catch a break today!" I groaned as I stomped my way to the bathroom. I meant to shower quickly, but the hot water felt great after my stressful day. It gave me time to sort through all of the emotions about everything. Nothing made me happier than knowing Emily really loved me, and as I thought this I remembered she was waiting in the apartment for me. I dried off quickly, changing into a pair of yoga pants and an oversized hoodie. I was over trying to look decent today, my face was a mess still from all of the stress and crying and there was no point in dressing up for Emily, she'd already seen me at my worst.
I walked out of the bathroom, finding that the mess I made this morning was completely cleaned up. I guess my shower had been longer than I thought because everything was back in place, the way I had seen it last night before hurricane Paige rolled through the apartment.
I wondered to the bedroom, wondering where Emily was but I didn't see her there either. I peeked out the window and noticed her car was gone. I went to the kitchen to look for a note but there was nothing. She probably decided while she was cleaning that I was a complete mental case and bailed for the night, remembering how pissed she was it made sense in my mind. I would have to talk to her tomorrow and really deeply apologize. I flopped on the couch with my head in my hands and began to quietly cry again. Today had just been too much for me. Fighting with my dad, fighting with Emily, it all was just too much.
I'm not sure how much time had passed but suddenly the door opened and before I knew it Emily rushed over, holding me again, running her hands through my hair in an effort to calm me down.
"Paige is everything alright? I'm sorry I left, I brought some leftovers from last night for us and I found one of my old phones you can put your sim card in and use for now" Emily explained.
I calmed myself down and realised how pathetic I was being. Emily came back, everything was fine. I stopped crying and looked up at her. "I'm okay, I guess I just feel a little lonely tonight. Thanks for the food and the phone. You shouldn't have cleaned for me though, you didn't have to do that" I explained, embarrassed that she had dealt with my mess.
"I know I didn't, but you were right, you've had a bad day so I've decided to give you a break. We just have to reheat dinner, so you have nothing to worry about anymore" She reached for my hands, playing with my fingers lightly.
"So I'm forgiven?" I asked hopefully.
She thought for a moment. "For now. I might get mad again later so try not to remind me of how pissed I really am at you" She then stood and went to the kitchen to begin reheating our dinner. I followed her closely, wrapping my arms around her waist from behind and kissing her neck softly. I turned her around and looked at her perfect full lips before speaking.
"Maybe I can make you forget" I whispered softly before leaning in and kissing her passionately. I decided to push my luck by pushing my tongue into her mouth and deepening the kiss quickly. She responded the way I wanted her to, and pulled our bodies until they were flush against each other. She moaned into my mouth and I moved down her jaw and to her ear "I love you, Em. And I don't think I'll ever get tired of saying that" I whispered before gently moving down her neck, nipping her perfect skin until I reached her neck and began softly sucking the skin around her pulse.
"Paige" she whimpered. I roamed my hands down to her ass and squeezed gently, causing her to moan loudly again. I went a little further than we usually do by lifting her up, causing her to wrap her legs around my waist. I carried her to the kitchen counter, placing her gently down, never moving my lips from her neck.
Her hands roamed down from my shoulders to my breasts. She cupped them gently through my hoodie causing me to let out a moan of surprise. I moved my fingers to the hem of her shirt and moved back to her lips, kissing her passionately.
As if my body knew we couldn't kiss forever, my stomach growled and I remembered that I hadn't eaten today. She pulled away, arching her eyebrows at me questioningly. We both laughed lightly as I pulled her down from the counter "Damn, I guess it's time to get you fed and you can tell me more about your family"
"Gosh, where do I even begin?" I thought for a moment and decided explaining my childhood would be the best place to start. "Well I guess things have never really been all that great when it comes to my family. My father wasn't always around you know? Like when I was younger"
Emily looked at me questioningly "You mean you didn't always live with him?"
"No not exactly. My dad is the CEO of Noram, it's a fairly large economical development company, I really don't know much about it to be honest" I never really cared enough to ask my dad about his work. "It's becoming pretty established in the states now but it took him a lot of hard work to get where he is. Anyways, he married my mom at 25 and when she got pregnant with me, I guess he conveniently had to move to L.A for a while and establish a branch there. He lived there for the first 5 years of my life"
Emily gasped in surprise "You didn't meet your dad until you were 5 years old?" She asked.
"Like I said, its complicated. Yes, I didn't meet him until I was 5 and even then, he was in and out the door so much it felt like I was raised by a single mother. I was pretty close with my mom when I was younger, but as I grew up and she began working at a law firm, we grew apart. She began to remind me of my dad and that just pushed me away even more." I thought for a moment and remembered the most vital part to the story I was telling. "When I was about 13, my dad actually took notice to how talented I was at swimming. Suddenly, he was a big part of my life and everything was great. Emily, he would show up to my practices, give me tips and we finally had something to talk about. He hired me a private swim instructor and began pushing me to enter more competitions. I loved the attention he finally gave me and thought I finally broke through the wall with him"
"That's when the pushing became forceful, it was no longer encouragement, it was a demand to be the best, and if I wasn't the best, I was a failure. I can't really explain the things he would say and do, but my life was suddenly no longer mine, and like before, I pushed him away again, I couldn't accept the person he was because he couldn't once tell me he was proud. You wouldn't believe this but he actually hinted to me that it would be ok if I began taking performance enhancers"
Emily looked at me in complete shock and anger. "You mean steroids?"
"Yes. Like I said, anything to make sure I'm the best. Don't worry, I never did, and I never will. But the fact that my own father thinks it's alright to do that. I don't even believe I'm his flesh and blood sometimes, the things that go through his head! I tried talking to my mom, but it caused so many fights and she always takes his side. And that's how things are. He will say something, I will get upset, and I either fight back on my own or just let it go."
Emily walked over to me and pulled me into another embrace. I didn't realise that tears were falling again. "Paige I'm so sorry" She mumbled. She pulled away and wiped the tears from my eyes and I continued on with my life story.
"I'm alright. But, that's how this whole Rosewood thing came to be. My dad just told me this was going to happen. It even surprised my mother, and I could tell she wanted to disagree with him. I begged her one day to actually stand up to him, and tell him no. She wouldn't do it though…she's just like him in some ways, too proud for her own good. But anyways here I am, damaged goods but I'm here, and things are alright now, and I'm 18 soon so ill be on my own soon enough" I explained.
"I can't believe this, Paige. I knew things were bad but I didn't know you faced so much…neglect" Emily sounded disgusted with my parents. I looked at her and saw the sheer anger in her expression.
"Em, really I've dealt with it all my life I can handle it. I just thought you should know why I put so many walls up sometimes. It's hard to let people in because of what happened when I trusted my dad. You know, I don't remember him ever saying he loved me? Not once, not even when I was younger" I explained.
"You're not ever going back there, Paige. I won't let you go back to a place where hedoesn't appreciate what he has. A beautiful daughter with a huge heart and he can't even see it? I don't know him Paige, but I hate him" Emily spoke through her teeth, looking angry as ever, but also extremely sexy. Was it bad that her angry side was a bit of a turn on for me?
"Em, don't worry, I don't ever plan on going back to that house. If I move back to Philly, I'll move in with Kelly. Anyways thanks for listening to that. And thanks for being here for me. I'm really sorry about today, Emily. It wasn't intentional to scare you but thanks for not walking away" It was my ultimate fear. Watching Emily walk away for good was one thing I couldn't think about anymore.
"Anytime, Paige. You're so amazing but you're so reckless sometimes it scares me. I don't want to think about losing you, and that means that I'm not walking away, right now I don't think I could" she leaned in and kissed me softly. "Alright enough with the drama tonight, let's eat and then I'll tuck you in for a good night's sleep. I think you need it more than anything right now"
I ate my share of lasagna quickly, realising how much I needed it after a long day of running on an empty stomach. After I finished I was drooping in my chair and realised how exhausted I was. Emily must have caught on as well because she threw our dishes in the sink and guided me to my bedroom, supporting my body. She tossed me a pair of flannel bottoms and a tank top and I dressed down quickly and climbed into bed. Emily draped the covers over me before leaning in and kissing me softly.
"I love you, Paige" She whispered low in my ear.
"I love you too, Em. Thanks for being here for me. I need it more than you know" I sighed as I closed my eyes. "You don't have to go" I mumbled, although I was drifting off rather quickly.
I heard Emily chuckle lightly and felt her hand run through my hair. "I should go though, sweetie. I'll just stay here until you fall asleep alright? I'll set your alarm and lock the door behind me. Text me when you wake up, I'll meet you at The Brew in the morning" She laid back next to me on the bed and ran her fingers through my hair softly. I leaned into her side, nuzzling my face into her neck and let myself get comfortable. This really was exactly what I needed after the emotion filled day, to be curled up next to Emily, a sign that everything was going to be okay.