Raven's POV

I was trying to tell Bart that we shouldn't spend as much time together anymore due to his crush on me. I was doing this for both our sake but when I saw those bright green eyes of his almost instantly change to a dull, washed out green and his beaming smile vanish it broke my heart. I liked Bart, I honestly enjoyed his company, but I was finding it harder to keep in control of my powers recently and I really just needed more time alone or I could risk the safety of everyone around me, and like it or not I cannot deny that I started failing to be in complete command of my emotions and by extension my powers right around the time Bart decided to be in my life more frequently. I hadn't seen him at all this week up until now and was finally getting some sense of feeling like I was back in control when he showed up at the crack of dawn and all of a sudden the hyperactive speedster had brought me back to square one. I had decided we had to stop being as close as we were. I felt even guiltier when I saw his eyes quickly become glossy with tears, I'd obviously underestimated how strong this crush was and how much our friendship meant to him, but he blinked them back trying to be strong, he was so sweet.

I couldn't look him in the eyes anymore, I looked towards the bed sheets maybe honesty would be the best way to go about this "Bart. I know you've told me things, secrets, and I never have, so now I'll tell you one. You always want to know why I meditate, why I'm cold and emotionless. It's because I have to be, I have to keep my powers under control, I meditate because it helps keep me calm and my powers are directly connected to my emotions, I've trained myself to keep people at a distance, because my emotions are dangerous to me, to you, to everyone else in this world. You've been a good friend, but I'm dangerous and I won't let you get hurt by me." I replied simply and calmly, hoping he'd understand that this wasn't his fault, I just didn't want to hurt him. Bart tried to protest "But Raven, I like being around you, won't you get lonely?" I heard him say as he broke the silence, I knew he was just trying to figure out how to keep seeing me often, we have been good friends, best friends even, the only one I've really had and shared a lot together, I've seen his true self, the energetic, joyful teen was really a serious, cynical boy due to his grim future. But it was too dangerous for him to continue being near me with my emotions becoming too unstable, I sighed "I'll be fine, I'm used to it." I said looking away from him. I felt his gloved hand cup my cheek and turn it back towards his face being forced to look into his grass green eyes that were usually full of joy and happiness now showing pain and a rapidly fading sense of hope "No one should have to get used to being alone, we've already built up this friendship so much, don't throw it all away now, and I don't care if you're dangerous because I..." he stopped mid sentence "You what?" I asked feeling confused as to why he'd stop "It's just that I...I..." he stopped again, clearly hesitating, maybe he'd realized either way he wasn't going to win this "Nothing." he finally said, sounding defeated and upset. I couldn't take this guilt of seeing him sad anymore, I just wanted him to go "Then leave." I said, it came out colder and more harshly than I'd intended, I couldn't even bear to look at him now. Suddenly he'd taken my cheek between his thumb and forefinger and our lips were connected, what was he thinking! as I felt him kiss me I was surprised, confused and also feeling strangely pleasurable and happy, but also angry and pained that he'd stolen my first kiss. My control over my powers were now completely gone and books and discarded clothes were hovering, spinning around the room, surrounded by the dark aura of my powers. I snapped back to reality and managed to regain some control and they all dropped to the floor. As Bart pulled away I instantly spat "Bart, what are you doing?" in shock and anger. I felt a huge pain in my chest as I saw tears streaming down his face, that's why he was so upset, he didn't just have a crush. He loved me!I felt terrible, before I could say anymore, the speedster blurted out "I'm sorry!" and faster than I could blink he was gone and that familiar gust of wind blew over my face. I felt my fingers come up to touch my lips. He just kissed me, he loves me. Oh god what have I done. I felt a tear roll down my cheek as I just realized I'd done what I was trying to avoid, I'd hurt him more than I could imagine now.

I needed to calm myself, I went straight to the kitchen, made myself a cup of herbal tea and sipped it, being careful not to burn my tongue, as the warmth and taste of lemon helping me to cool down and relax a little. I was still in slight shock of what had happened to me. My first kiss, was taken from me by my now ex-best friend. How could he have done that and think it would be ok? My frustration was quickly taken over by the now all to familiar guilt and pain as I remembered the tears stream down his face. Damn this wasn't working, I was still feeling too much at once, I went to my room and was about to meditate when the image of his pained, grief stricken face flashed into my mind. "ARGH!" I screamed in frustration as I lost it. Candles, books, clothes, ornaments, even my bed, anything that wasn't nailed down hovered and moved uncontrollably across the room as I lost the little control I had again. I took a deep breath, reminded myself that the more I feel the more energy I let loose, I calmed myself down, focused on regaining control and slowly lowered the bed back to the floor, the dirty clothes into my laundry basket, the books back onto the bookshelf and set all the ornaments and candles back to the position they were in. I sighed and used my powers to bring some incense candles over to me and a small pot. I needed to be away from this room for a while, I slipped my panties off and unzipped my hoodie, shrugged it off my shoulders and added them to the laundry basket too. I went to my closet and took out the black leotard I normally wear, and stepped into it, wrapped my dark blue hooded cloak around me pulled on my dark blue boots. I can shower later, I teleported myself to the top of Titans tower. I felt the sun on my face and it was a nice feeling which should help me calm down. As I realized it was just about sunrise I could see the sun just starting to peek over the horizon giving the skyline a deep red lining and the sky an orange glow. I sat down, set up my incense sticks, lit them and let the smells fill my nostrils as I took a deep breath, the scents helping me to relax. I held my thumb and forefinger together in an 'O' shape and sat down cross legged, as I became more calm and relaxed I hovered above the floor. I cleared my mind of all the negative feelings, all the feelings confusing me, trying to forget Bart, his kiss, his soft lips, his wonderful eyes, auburn hair, slim yet athletic figure and... Wait what was I thinking?! No! no, I don't like him in that way he's a friend, just a friend, a friend who was going to go from my best friend and confidant to a distant, old friend, damn it! I teared up. I slowly lowered to the floor, and I wiped my tears away with the back of my hand. Why? Why does he always make me lose control of them? I've spent years training myself to keep all my strong feelings down, meditating and using chakra daily to help dull my emotions and he just shows up and screws it all up. I knew I shouldn't have gotten close to him, now I've lost control over my emotions, our personal problems are going to screw up the chemistry of the team, make things awkward both on and off the battlefield! Damn. I'm going to need to speak to him at some point, but he was gone, I didn't know where, and before that I need to try to get these feelings dulled, and regain control so I'm completely calm and collected. This is going to be a long day...