gemsofformenos:

"In a relationship and in a family it's all about being there for each other in my opinion. In good times and in bad time." I agree with that, for sure. With family and love you have to be there through the best and the worst. And for it, both sides will have their own way of viewing/dealing with those things.

"It's a good transition to this chapter. Iroh is helping Zuko. He had picked him up from the street and he had managed to convince him to go in a rehab-clinic. Of cause it was a mixture of convincing and pushing, but Zuko has done a step in the right direction." Zuko is a very reluctant paitent and its going to take a lot of tough love to get him through things. Frankly it isn't getting him off of heroine, it's keeping him there. "But it's good to see, that he has found a person, who cares for him and who's got the strength to help him handle his problems." Indeed, what Zuko needs is some stability in his life.

Her throat burned unpleasantly, it was something she made note of. It was just one more thing that reminded her she was tearing herself apart. She knew that she had to stop, but standing before the mirror she only found more reason to continue. She couldn't say why she was doing this to herself. She knew that she couldn't stand the sight of herself, yet she always put herself in front of the mirror so it could tell her all of the things she hated to hear. She tried to ignore it and comb her hair, lately she had been doing that without a mirror and it left her feeling disheveled. So she swallowed down the sickly feeling that the mirror provided and focused on making her hair look nice. It has also been ages since she has applied makeup, she couldn't do that without a glance in the mirror.

That had been her goal, to wear her favorite lipstick again and wing her eyeliner in the way that she liked. But she couldn't make it past the first layer of lipstick. She didn't like the look of the face she was accenting; it was some fuller. Her face had always been rather soft, something she hadn't been fond of to begin with. Now her softer features seemed that much more so. She brought a hand to her cheek. Really, she ought to spare herself and look away from her reflection. But it was like a horror movie, in that it had a grim pull.

From there she only fell into scrutinizing herself in full. Every single aspect of herself; every birthmark, every freckle. Mostly, and unavoidably, she criticizes her body. It was the source of all of her troubles. She trailed her hands down her sides and over her middle, just one more action she really ought to not have taken. She was only reminding herself of the things she did not like. Her tummy was softer than her face and it seemed to her that the swell of it had gotten bigger. Even in solitude she felt her cheeks go hot, she was an embarrassment to herself. She set her lipstick down.

She missed her slim, athletic body, so much. She was so far away from it and the purging had done nothing to help. It only gave the illusion of helping. The illusion of control.

To herself she considered that, perhaps, she could get surgery. She couldn't imagine her father having any objections. The man, in fact, would likely be more than happy to drop a giant wad of cash just to put an end to her bitching and the shame she was bringing him.

But Azula didn't like the idea of going under the knife. Lesser, she liked the idea of people gossiping about her having to resort to doing so. And, least of all, she loved the display of weakness that getting surgery would be. She had gotten herself into this, she wanted the pride that came with getting herself out of it. The knowledge that she could fix herself.

She smoothed the wrinkles out of her school uniform, hopefully within the week she'd have a new one. One that was at least a size or two too big; one that would offer another illusion. A false sense of being able to bury and hide her body under excess fabric.

She had cut another slash into her own pride that morning.

But at least her hair looked somewhat decent.

.oOo.

Zuko was twitchy and on edge. Shivering and sweating all over. His pupils were dilated. His just as wide, and frantic as he clawed at his head and he had no one but himself to blame. But he was going to blame Ozai anyways, for driving him to heroine. He was going to blame Azula for adding to the cruelty. He was going to blame Mai for breaking things off with him when he needed her the most. He was going to blame his mother for walking out on the family. And he, most of all, was going to blame Iroh for carting him off and abandoning him.

It was easier to hide behind that.

It was easier than manning up and taking responsibility.

He wanted to be sick, though there was nothing in his stomach for him to throw up, so he fought to keep it in.

Hahn still lingered in the room, but he had since grown quiet. He had run out of small talk and seemed to be at a loss for what to say. Zuko wasn't providing any help nor clues. Zuko was too miserable to think of anything but ways to keep from hurling all over the floor.

He could feel his body growing weak. "He hates me." He finally mumbled.

"Who hates you?"

"Uncle." Zuko answered. "That's why he sent me here, to punish me for doing drugs and trying to impress my dad instead of coming to live with him."

Hahn shook his head. "You got it all wrong, man. People usually don't send their family here because they hate them, they send them here because they love them so much, they don't want to lose them to drugs."

Zuko didn't miss his subtler 'usually.' He thought that he was the outliner in that statement. "My family, isn't a usual family. We do hate each other."

"I guess that would explain why your uncle has been calling all night." Hahn replied sarcastically.

"He has been calling?"

"Yeah, but the nurses won't let him talk to you yet. It's not phone hour. So he's been standing in the waiting room for the past few hours. I'm impressed with that man's self-control; most visitors start fussing and fighting by now."

"He's here?" Zuko asked.

Hahn nodded. "Yeah, man. I think that they are giving him a hard time though. Something about you not being in condition for visitors. Some bullshit, if you ask me. This is the time where you can use visitors the most."

Momentarily, Zuko could forget about the cramping and the nausea. "Uncle is here…" he repeated to himself. "He…wants to support me." He couldn't tell if he was making an observation or asking a question.

"Yup, I think that if he waits long enough, they'll let him in, at least to say hello."

Zuko gave a weak smile, some of his resentment began to fade. Maybe he wouldn't be alone in this after all.

.oOo.

Azula felt completely drained, dragging herself around the hallways from class to class was beginning to take its toll and she didn't understand. She thought that she shouldn't feel so dizzy, she had been eating—if anything, way too much. She found herself a space between the lockers, propped herself against the wall, and took a sort of breather. She slumped onto the locker, trying to keep herself awake. She need a boost, a kick of energy.

"Azula?"

She lifted her head enough to see Teo.

"Do you need me to get someone?" He looked so terribly concerned. She supposed that it was nice to have someone fret over her.

She forced herself to her feet and gave a dismissive hand wave. "I just needed a moment." She followed him to the lunchroom. She dug around in her pocket for her lunch money and made her way to the lunch line as Teo unpacked his own meal.

The scene she happened upon, after getting her lunch didn't surprise her in the slightest. "That looks pretty damn good, Teo." Chan remarked. "I'd say you owe me a lunch for helping to have me suspended." He snatched the boy's lunch bag. "I think all of this will do."

"You got yourself suspended." Teo made a grab for his lunch.

"Ah-ah." Chan tossed it to Chu-Leng. "I don't feel like paying for lunch today, so I get to keep that and we can call it even."

"Or you can stop being a dick." Azula shrugged. She knew she didn't have the energy for a fight, but it did her well to sling a few insults back.

"You owe me too!" Chan snapped, with a scoff. "I wouldn't have gotten suspended if you didn't…"

"It's either 'all Teo's fault' or all mine, pick one."

His face went red and she was allowed a very brief window of satisfaction before he smacked her lunch try to the floor. "You don't need all of that anyways."

On the contrary, she was almost certain that she did. In one final flash of pure testosterone and rage, Chan lifted his middle finger, practically shoving it in her face. He was perhaps an inch or two away from a broken wrist. He withdrew and stormed off with Teo's lunch.

The boy's face fell. "Sorry I dragged you into that one. Again."

Azula looked down at her shoes, they were spattered in dipping sauce and specks of corn. "I'm going to get myself another tray. Do you want anything?"

He felt around his pockets. "Yeah, please, that would be nice."

She may not have owed Chan anything, but Teo had spared some of his lunch. She could consider that debt paid. Carrying two trays back to her lunch table left Usha with a lot of room for commentary, never mind that the girl saw her place one in front of Teo. Still, she found it hard to do anymore than stare at her meal.

"Thanks, so much, for this." Teo smiled. She thought that it might have been the first time she has seen him smile in a long time.

At least she could do someone, some good. It really ought to have, but it didn't lift her spirits any. There wasn't much that could, these days. She forced herself to eat after nodding at his gratitude. But her mind was growing distant. What was one friend when she used to have so many? What was one friend, when she used to have her father. When she used to have respect and achievement.

She felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned to see one of Jet's friends, the one nicknamed Pipsqueak. "Hey, uh, my friend thinks you're pretty and he wants to go to Chan's Halloween dance with you." He pointed to Duke, who waved. He held his façade for maybe a minute more before nearly falling out of his seat with laughter. Pipsqueak returned to his table for a high five from Jet. He had earned his popular points for the day.

It was such a little thing too, but it did its job. Azula was already so tired…

.oOo.

Hanh helped him down the hallway. He wished that they could ditch the nurses. "Now this isn't standard procedure, so don't expect another visit until you are mostly through detoxing." The woman prattled. "I expect you to behave yourself and I expect you to be on your best behavior from here on out."

He wasn't listening though, he just wanted to see uncle. For as mad and hurt as he had been, he just wanted to see the one person who might just care for him. Iroh sat alone in the visitor's room with a cup of tea and a book of crossword puzzles.

"Uncle!" Zuko called, sending his own head pounding and his stomach reeling. He regretted calling out now that he found himself slumped over a trashcan hurling his guts out. He didn't think that he could hold himself upright any longer.

"It will be alright nephew." Iroh's hand rubbed his back. "Take it easy, and it will be alright." He and Hanh led him to his seat as the nurse went to fetch a towel.

"You shouldn't see me like this." Zuko remarked, and it set in that maybe he didn't want his uncle there after all.

"Zuko, you know that I will stick with you no matter what I have to witness." He paused. "I'd rather see you like this, than hunched over with a needle in your arm. At least this is recovery." He pushed a cup in Zuko's direction. "This should help with the nausea. Honestly, I don't know why they haven't served you some good tea already!"

Zuko was under the impression that it was sheer incompetence, but he kept it to himself because they had been flexible enough to let him see his uncle, that and he had a strong feeling that his withdrawal was making him testy. He took the tea with greedy hands, he hadn't realized how thirsty he was until the tea was making its way down his throat.

"Thank you, uncle." And he realized that he was grateful. As big of a mess as his stomach was, as queasy and exhausted as he felt, he was thankful that his uncle put him there. He was thankful for the push and for the support.

He would be lying to himself if he said that there wasn't still at least a small part of himself that was furious—and that, that part would probably rear its head again—but for the time, he had nothing but appreciation and admiration for his uncle.

"Be good to Hanh." Iroh said. "He is a fine young man, and he wants to help you just as much as I do." Zuko knew that this was Iroh's way of warning him to keep the one alley he had in the place.

"I'll try, uncle." He really would, but he was so scared that he'd fuck that up too. Just like he seemed to fuck up every other chance he'd been handed.

.oOo.

She thought of taking one from Mai's book and cutting a good line on her wrist, she had a pair of scissors in her locker. But she didn't need another nasty habit, her body certainly can't afford one. But she was so dreadfully tired of Wan High, of the people in it, of her former friends and her father.

Of herself.

Of everything really.

She arranged her locker for the last time that day and slammed her locker shut. This drew another jolt and a curious glance from Katara. Azula thought that, the girl would be used to her slamming her locker by now, but the girl jumped every time, as though Azula were personally attacking her.

She slung her bag over her shoulder and headed for the door. She was anyways, when she caught a sight that made her pause. She didn't think that she had ever seen Teo wheel himself down the hall that fast, he was nearly plowing students down.

"Oh good, I was hoping to catch you before you left!" He exclaimed.

Azula sighed. "Is that right?"

He nodded.

She supposed she should reward him for his sublime effort to catch up to her. "Why is that?"

"Well…" He trailed off, rubbing the back of his head. "I was thinking about what happened at lunch."

Azula groaned to herself, "wonderful, I see that we've taken very different approaches."

Teo snickered. "Well I just wanted to tell you what I think."

She drew in a deep breath, this one was going to be interesting, frankly she didn't know if she wanted to hear it at all, but she would allow him to finish.

"I just…" He trailed off. "I just wanted you to know that I think you're pretty—but, like, for real. Not like a joke."

Azula swallowed, trying to gauge how she should take his words.

"And I. Well I was thinking. Hoping, that…" He stammered. She wondered if she should help him out a little. "I was wondering if you would actually go to Chan's stupid Halloween party with me. I mean we could go somewhere else… but I think it would really piss Chan off if we showed up together."

Azula allowed herself a small smirk. "It would, wouldn't it?" She thought for a moment. "I do believe that Pipsqueak invited me." Who was she to pass on such a kind invitation?