Recap of chapters 19 (All That Matters) and 20 (Obligation and Another Memory.) While Sirius and James were doing their assigned tutoring session, Eilidh Nicnevin and Lily Evans burst in and start some drama (for reasons that aren't important now.) This led to a small Malfoy and Snape vs James and Sirius squabble. In the end, Eilidh told Lily that she knew for a fact that Malfoy was a Death Eater and was suspicious of Snape being one as well (in a guilty by association way.) The next day, both Eilidh and Lily end up in the hospital wing; Eilidh tortured, Lily obliviated. Eilidh, Sirius, Remus and Peter had a long discussion about it. They ended up inviting Eilidh to help with their cause but she refused for confusing reasons. Enjoy :)
Warning: Language
Chapter 2 of yr4: The First Loss
As the sun rose over the Forbidden Forest and crept its way into Gryffindor Tower James woke to find that Sirius was already awake. Seeing his messy head peek through his bed curtains Sirius announced, "Good Morning."
James squinted from both surprise and lack of perfect vision. He clumsily reached for his glasses on his nightstand muttering "what are you doing up?"
Sirius shrugged in response. James, now being able to see him properly stared at him incredulously. Sirius, dressed in his school robes, was organising his school supplies. His quills were sharpened to a point, his parchment was neatly stacked and ready for class, his wand and broom looked freshly polished. James's supplies were still wrapped in the brown paper his mother brought them home in.
"I didn't think you were capable of waking up till noon on your own," James said, slowly. Sirius merely chuckled. "Did you sleep at all last night?" James asked, seeing that Sirius's bed was still neatly made, exactly as it had been last night.
"Course I did," Sirius said, not looking up but looking down the length of his quill. Upon inspecting his friend further James noticed dark circles forming under his eyes.
"You look tired," James told him.
"I think I'm still on french time. We stayed for longer than we were expecting," Sirius shrugged again, hoping that James would let the subject drop. James was determined to make Sirius talk to him so he stayed quiet, filling the room with an awkward silence. Sirius's will power almost won but before James could start babbling about their new professors Sirius continued. "My cousin -Andy's sister - got married to that Lestrange bloke. He's just as mental as she is…. It made me realise that I didn't want to live off my parents for the rest of my life and to do that I need a job. Andy did it and she's doing great, even has a baby…. Course I only know because Narcissa ran into her in Diagon alley…." Sirius trailed off wearing an odd, distant expression on his face.
"So we're focusing on our grades this year. Mum'll be thrilled," James said brightly, hiding his concern. "Remus can make us a study schedule. It'll have to work around Quidditch but Cresswell's pretty good at keeping regular practices."
"Good, good. There is one more thing." Sirius took a deep breath and added in a rush, "I've promised my mother that I'll join the Slug Club." James could not do anything but blink at this. "I've got to keep my promises," Sirius said after a long pause.
"Mate, you're not joining the Slug Club," James said with an air of telling him that two and two is four.
"Uh, yes I-"
"No. This is where I draw the line! You can join the Quidditch team. Get all O's, hell you could even make prefect, but you are not becoming a Slug!" James shouted, firmly, rousing the others from their slumber. Remus and Peter sat up and looked confused at the pair in front of them. Sirius made eye contact with all three of them, stuttering before he said;
"James, I made a promise."
"No," James said simply.
"James."
"Show of hands! Who thinks Sirius could do anything else but join the Slug Club?" James stood with his hand raised above his head and watched as Remus slowly raised his hand. Peter looked still confused but raised his hand half way.
"It's not up to you guys, anyway!" Sirius said, making to leave.
"You joining the Slug Club will reflect on all of us!" James argued.
"Oh! So that's what your problem is! You're afraid people will think less of you if one of your mates is in the Slug Club!" Sirius rounded on him.
"You're being a right prat, you know!" James yelled.
"That's not what any of us meant," Peter said through a yawn.
"We've been worried about you ever since we saw you at the World Cup," Remus added, Sirius wavered yet did not back down. "You have to admit that you joining Slughorn's club is a bit weird."
"I made a promise," Sirius repeated. He looked around at the three of them, daring them to protest further.
"So break it!" James roared defiantly and Sirius flared.
"James, he's right! We can't decide this for him, especially if he made a promise," Remus told James, his eyes never leaving Sirius.
"Oh, fuck that! He's only doing this because his parents are forcing him to!" James yelled, finally breaking eye contact with Sirius.
"Did you just swear?" Sirius chuckled weakly.
"He's been doing that a lot recently," Peter smiled, hoping that Sirius's chuckle meant that he had calmed down.
"You can thank Lupin for that," James said, smirking a bit but his voice was still heavy.
"Well don't. It's weird," Sirius said.
"If you can act weird, I can too." James folded his arms and looked stubbornly victorious.
"Fine, we'll all act weird. Remus can start going to class on the full moon and Peter will try to break the detention record. It's bound to be a thrilling year!" Sirius returned.
"That's different!"
"No, it's not! It's exactly the same. I promised my mother, James. You don't think I'll get into trouble at home just like them if I don't?" Sirius argued. James's face fell and for the first time, there was no trace of a smirk.
"So, we're joining the Slug Club." James nodded once and crossed over to his trunk and pulled out his robes.
"You don't have to, James, just me."
"Oh, I know, Pickles. I'm gonna find Cresswell and ask him about tryouts. Peter, are you still gonna ask Maggie about dropping Divinations?" James said, combing his fingers through his hair, trying to calm his bed head.
"Right!" Peter said, jumping out of bed.
"Guess, I should go with you to talk to Cresswell," Sirius said.
"That's Captain Cresswell to you," James smirked.
They had talked so long that James and Sirius were one of the last to leave the common room. The staircase was deserted except for the sound of echoing, hurried steps floating up to them. They thought it might have been Filch, so they paused to check that their shoes were free of mud. It was not long before they realised that the footsteps truly belonged to Eilidh Nicnevin.
Eilidh was marching up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time, with a determined look set on her face. Upon seeing them she stopped short. Sirius found that his tongue suddenly felt heavy in his mouth.
"I need to talk to all four of you. It's important," she said and continued up the stairs seeming confident that they would follow. Sirius shook his head at James, indicating that he did not care to talk with her. He was still angry with her for claiming Lucius Malfoy as family in the previous year. James shrugged and gave an apologetic smile before following her steps. Sirius contemplated going on without him but in the end, he gave an irritated groan and ran to catch up with James.
"What is it?" Sirius asked harshly after the portrait had closed. She had already stopped Remus and Peter from exiting.
"Not here, it needs to be private," she said, strongly. The boys only now noticed the anxiety that seemed to coil off her.
"What's happened, Eilidh?" Remus asked kinder than his friend.
"Let's just say that you were right. Things are much worse than I thought they were," She answered, her lip quivering slightly. She shook her head, hardening her expression. "I'll say no more 'til we get somewhere more secluded."
"There's nobody here," Peter said, observing the empty common room.
"You don't know that," she said with an air of finality.
"Our dormitory," James said, leading the way up the stairs. Once he had reached room number seven, he pushed the door open and starting kicking things out of the way, picking up clothes and shoes. "Sorry about the mess," James said pleasantly. Eilidh entered the room ignoring her surroundings.
"Can we shut the door?" she asked politely and Sirius obliged, being the last to enter. "So, firstly are you guys fighting the Slytherins because they're weird and creepy or because they're supporting… you-know-who?"
"Both," James and Sirius answered together but Remus claimed that it was "only because they're siding with you-know-who."
"Good," she nodded, pointed her wand at the door and muttered "muffliato" before placing herself on one of their trunks. "It's a spell that prevents anyone from listening to our conversation. Lily taught me," she told them answering their questioning looks and Peter's "what was that?"
"Speaking of, does she know you're here?" Remus asked.
"We're not exactly on good terms with her right now," Peter added. Sirius scoffed and James rolled his eyes.
"I haven't seen her at all, actually. I just got here about an hour ago. Mum tried to stop me from coming back because of what happened this summer," Eilidh answered.
"And what happened this summer," James asked, sensing her point. Eilidh took a deep breath.
"The Death Eaters killed a load of muggles in Ireland. 13 women and 5 men. Apparently, the women were dressed as witches for some festival and the Death Eaters took offence and attacked. The men jumped in after seeing the commotion, trying to help… and then they killed them." Eilidh trailed off. Most of this they already knew because it had been reported in the Daily Prophet, but the author seemed so focused on the dark mark appearing in the sky that they forgot to mention the details of the event.
"We heard. But what's that got to do with you?" James asked. Eilidh again took a deep breath and cleared her throat.
"My dad was one of the men that died."
Silence rang throughout the dormitory. They all seemed to be at a loss for words. Eilidh pressed the sleeve of her robes into her eyes to keep the tears from streaming down her face. Peter looked awkwardly at his shoes. James nervously ran his hand through his hair. Remus passed her a handkerchief and patted her gently on the shoulder.
"Bu- but you're a pureblood. A Nicnevin. They've always been pure," Sirius said, voicing his confusion. Eilidh shook her head, still using the handkerchief Remus had given her.
"Everyone assumes I am because I took my mum's surname." She finished drying her eyes and sniffled. "After my mum married Ulric, she got kind of stir crazy and left the wizarding world for a bit. She moved in with my dad and had me but left thinking I was a squib. I was about six when I first showed signs of magic. Dad found Mum again thinking it would be better for me, so she and Ulric took me in, claiming me as their own." She twisted the handkerchief around her fingers, tears streaming freely down her face now.
"So, you took your mum's name and just never told anyone who your father was?" James asked with a note of disapproval. Eilidh shook her head and sobbed.
"James!" Remus shot him a look to silence him. "We're sorry for your loss, Eilidh."
"We are sorry," Peter said, wanting to stop Eilidh's tears.
"Truly. It must be horrible losing your father," James said as delicately as he could. Eilidh dried her face and let out a shaky breath attempting to calm herself.
"Take your time, Eilidh. We don't have any qualms about skipping class," Sirius smiled, sitting next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder hoping to comfort her but only succeeded in making her cry more. Sirius withdrew his hand and placed it awkwardly in his lap. "Were - were you two close?" he asked, trying another means of comfort. She gave an odd sounding giggle and wiped her eyes.
"Yeah - I mean I always felt… normal around him. My mam kinda keeps me separate from everyone else 'cause she's afraid people will find out, but Da - he told everyone about me. Everyone close to him, anyway. He didn't care that I was different," Eilidh shrugged. James sat on her other side and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. Peter was holding her hand. Remus and Sirius each gave her apologetic smiles. Sirius reached out a hand and patted her head making her laugh. It was the first real laugh, however shaky, they had heard from her and it made them relax.
"So - sorry - but what does this have to do with us?" Remus asked.
"I want to help!" she said, obviously not realising that they hadn't caught on. "I know I said I didn't last year, but I didn't know they were attacking muggles too."
"But why do you care about muggles if you don't even care about muggle borns?" Sirius asked irritably.
"You're even friends with Evans, and Mary, and Josie, and Marlene, but you still said you didn't want to help so what's the difference?" James asked, agreeing with Sirius.
"Muggles are completely different. They're defenseless. Sure, they're clever but they have no idea what's coming. Muggle-borns - they can defend themselves. You've seen Lily in class, she's one of the best. And Mary's brilliant at charms. Even Josie, I've seen her take down three sixth years single handedly and she's probably the worst in our group," she explained. "That doesn't mean that I don't want to protect them. When I said that last year, I… I was scared and I thought I was protecting Lily by staying out of the fight. I don't want to fight in a war anyway, but I can't just sit by and watch defenseless people, my friends and family, get tortured and killed because some dolt thinks he has the right to. So, I want in and I'll talk to the girls about helping too, but I'll understand if you don't want my help anymore," she finished, gasping for breath.
"We'll need to talk about it," Sirius said firmly before any of them could accept her offer. From what Eilidh could see, Sirius was the only one with an objection for her.
"You don't trust me." She said speaking directly to him. "Do you think I'm lying?"
"I trust you enough to know you wouldn't lie to us," he stated.
"Then what?" She asked looking confused and possibly hurt.
"You and I… we're very similar in important ways but it's our differences that are… off putting." He tried to explain as well and as delicately as he could; something in him wanted to run from her but at the same time he was drawn to her. "We need to discuss this before I trust you completely."
"Sirius, I think we should give her a chance to explain herself. We owe her that much. If it weren't for her we'd…" James said subtly gesturing to Remus.
"I agree. We should give her a chance." Remus spoke.
Sirius looked at Peter for defence but he shook his head not wanting to get involved. Sirius sighed and turned to face Eilidh.
"We'll be down in the common room then," James said pulling Remus and Peter through the door.
"Why?" Sirius yelled sounding almost fearful.
"This is between you and her, mate." He grinned before shutting the door.
Eilidh looked almost as uncomfortable as he felt. Sirius moved around the room picking up his clothes as he went.
"We throw clothes everywhere, to keep the house elves out. Don't want them finding anything they shouldn't, " Sirius explained trying to fill the silence.
"Sirius, I don't really like explaining myself." She interrupted.
"Me either." He admitted.
"I hate small talk more." She continued.
"Me too. I just wanted to avoid the awkwardness." Sirius shrugged.
"I'd like to be friends. I feel like we could be." Eilidh started.
"Same here." He said awkwardly as if admitting his feelings.
"We can't be friends if we don't trust each other."
"You don't trust me?" He asked sounding hurt.
"I don't trust people who don't trust me. My mother taught me that." She answered. "I did trust you. You're honourable and always try to do the right thing no matter what. That's what I always loved about my father."
There was a comfortable pause between them. Eilidh looked deep in thought. Sirius was simply speechless. He felt oddly proud of reminding Eilidh of her father, especially after the way she explained it.
"I think I know what you mean about our differences." She nodded.
"You do?" He asked, not entirely sure if he knew what he meant himself.
"You'll do anything for the people you care about, no matter what happens to you." Eilidh started. Sirius felt odd, as if he were seeing himself for the first time. He found no reason to argue with her, he would do anything for them. "I would do anything for my friends and family, really. I know I haven't been acting like it. I'm just so tired of this war! It's pointless and exhausting, and I'm just done with it, or I thought I was. I think I didn't really have anything to fight for. Lily's my best friend, but she's always off with Snape so it's not like you four. And Marlene always hangs out with Alice and her friends, so maybe my dad dying is what I needed," she said starting to tear up again. "I'm sorry." She whipped her eyes and sniffled.
"For what?" he asked, forgetting why he ever felt bad towards her.
"For crying so much, and for what I said last year," she shrugged and chuckled awkwardly.
"I'm not afraid of tears and I suppose, since you seem to be truly sorry, what you said can be forgiven." Sirius smiled pulling a tissue from his nightstand and handing it to her, noticing that the handkerchief was thoroughly soaked. "I do have one more question though."
"Okay." She said shakily.
"How much do you disagree with your family? I know about the muggles and such but what about…." Sirius started not sure if he could out right ask without giving his friend away.
"About werewolves? It's about the only thing we agree on." She guessed. "Why is that a deal breaker for you?"
"Not at all," he grinned. "So do you know…?"
"Know what?" She encouraged.
"Er, a lot about them. I was kind of intrigued by them after that essay last year." Sirius lied.
"Oh, yeah. Thanks for that by the way. You got an O."
"Knew I would," he grinned. "So do you know a lot?"
"Yeah."
"Really?"
"Sirius, my family clings to old Celtic traditions. They believe that werewolves are meant to protect us. So, naturally, we like to keep them around." She answered.
"Like pets?" Sirius asked with his face screwed up in a look of discussed.
"No!" She screamed. "Look I'm done explaining myself. No, they're not pets, they're friends- family, even. No, I don't agree with the importance of blood status and yes I know about your friend if that's what you were really trying to ask."
"Friend? What friend?" Sirius stuttered.
"What?" Eilidh asked, looking as terrified as he felt. She had to have meant Remus.
"You mean…? Remus?" He asked cautiously half cringing, hoping he wasn't wrong.
"Yes." She sighed with relief. "For a second I thought I gave him away."
"Well, you could have always obliviated me." Sirius joked.
"I wouldn't." She smiled shaking her head.
"I know." He said once again shocked by himself. "So, James and I have this theory. You know how werewolves don't pose any threat to non-human animals?"
"Because the curse can only spread through humans, yes." She nodded.
"Well, we kinda thought that maybe the same would be for animagi, even though they are technically human," Sirius explained. She took a moment to think on this before continuing.
"Well, werewolves are always the wolf and the man, one and the same. Just like animagi. You turn into what ever compliments you, so if you, you'd probably be something obnoxious like an elephant, you'd always be the elephant and the man." She explained.
"An elephant?" He asked incredulously.
"You're loud and big. Even you have to admit it fits." She smirked. Sirius opened his mouth to argue but decided against it.
"So what does that mean, will it work?" He asked instead.
"Theoretically it would." She shrugged. "But I don't think it's ever been tested, even by Mikalov." Sirius nodded.
"This is all hypothetical of course." He added hurriedly.
"Its none of my business what you do." She shrugged. "As long as you're aware of the risks." She warned.
"As I said entirely hypothetical," Sirius smirked. "Besides the first chapter of that book pretty much destroyed my childhood ambition of joining the werewolf race." Sirius joked. Eilidh laughed genuinely and for the first time since her father died, it hurt her chest.
"Well, if you're done with your interrogation maybe we should join the others." She said just now realizing how close they were sitting to each other.
"I don't think I actually asked you anything." He stood making his way for the door.
"There was no need. I was so intimidated I started babbling." She joked following him.
"You were intimidated! Who's the one with the werewolf guards?" He laughed as they descended the stairs.
"You're the only one with a werewolf here, mate."
"Yes but I'm picturing an army at your end."
"We only have one currently and he's old so yours would beat mine in seconds." She smiled genuinely. "Speaking of yours. Please don't tell him I know."
"Why? I think it'd help him to know he's got another person on his side." Sirius argued.
"If he wanted me to know he would have said something. He's been a werewolf much too long to not know who I am." She explained. "Besides once they find out you know and you're okay with it, that's all they ever want to talk about." She joked.
"Remus isn't like that." Sirius defended.
"It was a joke. I really don't mind talking about it with them." Eilidh shrugged.
"Oh, right." He said.
"It's alright. You're protective. It's one of the things I always admired about you." She smiled.
"Well, look at you. You're willing to go to war for your father. If that's not protective then I don't know what is." Sirius returned. They stopped at the foot of the stairs watching the other three.
"What do you think James is fighting for. You fight for your friends. Remus and Peter, they're in whether they like it or not. But what about James?" She asked him.
"Because it's the right thing to do. That's just how he is. If he believes something is right, he'll fight to the death to prove it. Also for Remus and Peter and all the others, but I think that even if we didn't have them, he'd still fight." Sirius explained.
"So he's like you but more intense." She concluded.
"Yeah, I guess I am." Sirius grinned. "I mean we're like each other." He corrected.
"Oi, Nicnevin, Black! You gonna stand there making googly eyes at each other all day or are you gonna make yourselves useful?" James shouted.
"Shut it, Potter!" Sirius said rushing at his friend. They collided against each other crashing to the floor. Peter and Remus laughed before piling on top of them.
"Should I be intercepting this?" She shouted, not sure if this was an actual fight or not.
"We're fine!" The four of them shouted still tangled in each other.
***So, one day I was researching werewolves, specifically early legends and myths (cuz Imma nerd) and I came across this awesome Irish (could be Scottish too but IDK) legend about how werewolves would protect woman and children from abuse, help travellers, and protect villagers from outsiders like the Vikings and shit. I thought of Remus (obviously) because the stupid wizarding world is so against werewolves and there's not a lot of people fighting for them yet we have these stories and JKR said that she based her werewolf shit on actual myths so I was like where are my little Celtic buddies fighting for their warriors, ya know? So yeah, that's what inspired the Nicnevins.
Thanks for reading.
All rights reserved to JKR.
Until next time,
XO***