Just a little note; Hahn is the same Hahn that feuded with Sokka over Yue back in season 1.
gemsofformenos:
"So, I had the right suggestion, that Chan would be the one, who gives Jet a payback for what he has done." Yup! This was actually one of the things I was planning since mentioning Ruon's suicide! Chan had some justice to deliver. But I couldn't leave Sokka out. "Chan had recognized the different behaviour of TyLee and this has caught his attention at the right time to help Katara." TyLee did more things that she realized. In acting so un-ignore-ably off, she kind of set off alarm bells and the scene Chan came upon helped him put things together. "And he knows now, what Jet has done to TyLee and he blames himself for ignoring the signs and allowed Jet to go on with this crimes and to put pressure on Ruon-Jian and TyLee." This is something that is going to be weighing on him for a while. "He also starts to think how his behaviour might affect other people and especially Azula." Its a bit of a start, yes. "For now, I'm hoping, that Katara will be okay. With the drugs still in her to put her out, she's still not out of danger." Her state is going be revealed in the coming chapters."Even now they're probably in big trouble, beside the fact, that their reactions are understandable." This is another thing that is to be seen. :P
"Got you a little something." Hahn tossed Zuko a chocolate bar. "Technically we're not supposed to have these, but they're making an exception for Halloween."
Halloween. Zuko had completely forgotten it. Not that the day was of any importance. It only reminded him of better days, when he was maybe six years old and Azula was four. The days before their mother had left. The days when she would take them trick-or-treating and watch as he teetered along with his sister trotting beside him. The days when she was just learning to walk without stumbling and he would have to wait for her to catch up to him. The days when they would dump their Halloween candy into the middle of the floor and then swap the candy one of them liked and the other didn't. It was a silly thing to remember but he had always preferred chocolate and Azula liked the fruity, gummy candy. By the end of the night Azula's pile would be entirely gummy and his would be wholly chocolate.
For the memories he hated Halloween. The holiday was just one more reminder of how fractured his family had grown. How bleak life had become.
And this year would bring another loathsome memory. He could feel it, his withdrawal was reaching a its peak for a second time. Hahn kept insisting that it would all be up from here…
If he could just survive the night.
That's what he had said the last time, before Zuko had snuck out and found himself a hit.
He couldn't fathom why Hahn was still sticking around after he had already proved that he was too weak to actually go through with a full detox. Evidently, it was around this point in his withdrawal that he had decided that he had, had enough last time.
Hahn jabbed the chocolate bar at him. "Your uncle told me that Crunch is your favorite. Come on take it. Maybe you'll get hooked on chocolate instead of drugs." Zuko apricated the jesting, despite the aches and shivers, he smiled. He couldn't recall the last time someone attempted to light-heartedly joke with him. He didn't realize that he had missed good-natured jabs until Hahn had made his.
Reluctantly, Zuko took the chocolate bar. Come to think of it, he couldn't remember the last time he had taken a bite from a chocolate bar. He thought that it might have been the last May, before Azula's incident. Before his father decided to outlaw candy in the house. He bit a square off of the chocolate bar and took a long moment to savor the flavor, allowing the sweetness to let him forget about the tremors. Allowing himself to pretend that he was a six year old sitting on the floor of his living room, about to have a wicked stomach ache and a lecture form his mom about how he wasn't supposed to eat his Halloween candy all in one night. He chuckled aloud.
Hahn inspected his own candy bar. "What? Do these things tell jokes every time you bite off a square?"
Zuko laughed again. "No. I was just thinking…"
"About what?"
There was a bittersweet ache in his belly, another yearning for what he used to have. What his family could have been. "About my mother. She used to have a lot of fun with us on Halloween."
"Us?"
More than happy to delay thinking about his muscle cramps and the urge to vomit, he shared, "my sister and I."
"You have a sister?"
Zuko nodded. "She's two years younger than I am. She acts like she's older though…well she used to."
"Is she okay?"
"I don't know." Zuko confessed. "I don't think so. But I left anyways. We don't like each other anymore."
"I'm sure that's not true." Hahn replied. "If she didn't like you then why would she tell your uncle that you needed his help."
Zuko blinked. "She did what?"
"He mentioned that he called you because she said you went missing or something like that. I don't know the full story."
Zuko felt dizzy all over again. He wasn't sure how to take the news. Was he happy? Happy that she might just care, even if it was only a small bit. Should he be furious. Furious that she had shared his secret. Furious that, technically she was the reason he was sore and on the edge of hurling. Was it possible that he could be both enraged and thankful?
He decided that it was.
Because he was still gracious and angry with Iroh.
He wanted to finish his chocolate bar but instead he found himself dashing to the bathroom where he retched for the third time that night. His eyes were burning and his throat was on fire. What a horrible feeling it was to hunch over and feel the acid touch his throat. It was unbearable really and the notion that he'd probably feel nauseous enough to do it again made him want to scream.
His stomach muscles were cramped on their own and that was without all of the heaving.
Truly, it was torture.
He stumbled back into his room.
"You gonna be alright?"
"Hahn, I feel like I'm dying. Every time I go to that bathroom, I return with less of my soul and probably my manhood."
Hahn laughed. "See, humor does you well. Maybe if you make enough jokes, you'll get parts of your soul back."
"I hope so." Zuko winced.
"So, you think that the staff'll get mad if we knock on other patients' doors and do some trick-or-treating?"
"I don't think that we'll get much candy."
"We can pretend. Maybe they'll let us throw a Halloween party."
Zuko rolled his eyes. "Yeah, we can bob for blunts."
Hahn slapped his knee. "Oh man, you should joke more often."
"Who says I'm joking?" Zuko deadpanned. He cracked another smile. But part of him wasn't joking, honestly, he thought that bobbing for blunts or having a Halloween party at a rehab facility still beat the party Chan was probably throwing.
It was somewhat disorienting to think that he was having a better time here—mid-withdrawal—than he ever had at one of Chan's parties. He wondered if Mai had attended, he couldn't imagine her doing so without either TyLee or Azula. And he couldn't imagine Azula attending the party the way he'd last seen her.
He wondered if he was having a better Halloween than they were.
"You gonna finish that?" Hahn pointed at the chocolate bar.
Zuko made eye contact and finished the candy bar off, he might as well have some food to go with the stomach acid.
"I heard that you were going to be starting therapy soon." Hahn put out.
"Yeah…" Zuko trailed off. He wasn't looking forward to discussing the abuse that led him to heroine.
"Trust me, it helps." Hahn promised. "It's weird at first, but it helps. If you get Yora, she's really understanding, she doesn't make you feel like a criminal. She makes you feel…human."
"You think that she can give relationship advice too?"
"If you want to date me, you can just ask." Hahn winked.
Zuko elbowed him. "Maybe if things don't work out with my girlfr…if I can't make things right with my ex." He sighed to himself, he was a druggie through and through. He lost his home, he had no job, and he pushed his lover away. "He was right…"
"Who?"
"Uncle." Zuko confessed. "I need to be here." This time he would resist. This time he would see the detox process through. He would get home and he would see Mai. He wouldn't just see Mai, but he would find his mother and talk to her again.