It doesn't take long to reach the refugee camp.
Scar had opted to carry you once again, although this time it was less an attempt to keep you warm and more an apology for essentially decommissioning your legs the night before. Not that he has anything to apologise for; he'd given you fair warning that he'd make you walk funny, and you'd still gone ahead and slept with him. It was completely worth it, of course, but the situation was still within your control.
Or it would have been, if your mind hadn't been dead set on making love.
Regardless of who carried whom and why, your party had all made it to the camp with no intervention from storms or soldiers, and were all greeted warmly by the Ishvalan residents of the camp. You and Scar received a particularly enthusiastic welcome, with the majority of the female refugees making enthusiastic squealing noises when they saw how Scar had refused to set you down even after you made it to camp.
'How sweet!' They'd all cried. 'Why can't I find a man that'll carry me like that?' You'd smiled politely and told them you were a lucky woman indeed, something that caused Scar to hold onto you just a little tighter.
After explaining your situation, the residents of the camp had offered you food, warm water for bathing, and had found beds for you all to use indefinitely.
That was a few days ago, and you have to admit that you're starting to feel at home here. You've been trying to make yourself as useful as possible, doing menial tasks such as washing clothes and preparing food as often as you can. The rest of your companions have been doing much the same (with the notable exception of Yoki, who seems to be treating this place like a holiday home), and all seem just at home here as you do.
It's just a shame you'll have to leave before too long.
The evening of your arrival, your party had all gathered together to discus a plan to save the country. Apparently, during your nap the day before, they had discovered some kind of hidden symbol in Scar's Brother's notes, something that the alchemists in the group think could be used to destroy a philosopher's stone. In order to test that theory, you've decided to lure the homunculus known as Envy to your location. The plan was for Zampano to contact Envy, on the pretence of being a traitor to your group. He reveals your whereabouts, Envy comes, then bam! Your party lure Envy close enough to see if the symbol works or not. If it works, it'll severely cripple Envy. If not… well, at least you have a capable group of fighters on your side. That has to count for something.
That said, if Alphonse and Scar's accounts of Envy are to believed (and why shouldn't you?), your foe is formidable indeed. There's no telling how the fight will end.
Ever since the meeting, you've had this voice in the back of your mind all the time telling you to take everyone and run, to hide from the monster that Zampano has summoned, and that is currently en route. Any moment, the fragile peace that you've created here will be shattered, and there's no telling what that means for your future.
That's all you can think about this morning, even with Scar holding onto you in his sleep. This should be a happy morning, waking up in the arms of a lover. Instead it feels as cruel and as unforgiving as the northern winds that keep blowing into your temporary bedroom. This is the last moment of peace you'll have, yet you can't enjoy it, not with the storm at your door.
Without warning, you burst into tears, which quickly escalate into full blown sobbing. Your whole body begins to shake and convulse, something that wakes Scar up with a jolt.
Realising almost immediately what is happening, Scar sits up, cradles you in his arms, and starts stroking your back. He begins whispering something into your head, but your sobs are too loud for you to hear his words. So instead you just sit there, and let all of your fear and sadness pour out of you.
It takes a good few minutes before your sobs become quiet enough to allow you to hear Scar's voice. All he keeps saying over and over is 'I'm here, nothing can hurt you. It's okay.', and you're wondering if it's really you he's trying to reassure.
When your sobs finally fade, you stare up at Scar with tearstained eyes, the area around your iris almost as red as your iris' themselves. 'I'm sorry if I worried you. I just… I'm so scared, my love.' You grab onto him as tightly as you can, grabbing your arms around him like a vice.
Scar's body tenses. 'Whatever it is you fear, know that I won't let it harm you. I'd sooner die.' You flinch at the word. Haven't you made your feelings clear enough by now?
You let out a shaky reply. 'That's what I'm afraid of. What if the symbol doesn't work? What if we fail? What if Envy kills you, and all I can do is watch?' If Scar doesn't just instruct you to wait in the village whilst he and the others fight. No doubt Yoki is planning to hide here.
Scar's grip becomes considerably firmer, as he scoots you even closer to him. 'We shall not fail. My brother figured out a way to stop the evil plaguing this land, and now it's my turn to put the knowledge to good use. My brother sacrificed himself for me; if I must do the same to see his work done, then so be it. Today is not the day I die, though. I shall not die until I have used this gift on the one behind this. On that day, my work shall be done, and my life once again in the hands of God himself. On that day, you won't have to watch me die; I shall see to it that you're far enough away from me to guarantee your safety.' As if such a thing is even possible in a world like this one…
Unwilling to get into another debate about who's safety is more important, you decide to steer the conversation elsewhere. 'What was your brother like?' Scar flinches, and you immediately backtrack. 'I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked that. I know thinking about him can't be easy.' You curse your desire to avoid conflict. Now you've gone and upset Scar on such an important day…
Scar hesitates for a moment before speaking. 'He was smaller than I am, in both height and bulk, despite being older. I remember fighting children much older than me for picking on him once. When I close my eyes sometimes, I can see him hunched over a table, the sun illuminating the frame of his glasses, studying alchemy and alkahestry like his life depended on it. Even though I didn't approve of him meddling in such things, when push came to shove, I loved him so much. He was the greatest friend I've ever known, and losing him… it never stops hurting. Even now, I can still feel the way his arms used to wrap around me when I was a child. If he could see the man his death created, he would hate me. He would tell me that I am not the brother he gave his life for, that his sacrifice was a mistake.' Tears begin to well in Scar's eyes, so you move yourself to cradle his head against your chest, trying to soothe him.
You speak to him in a hushed tone. 'No he wouldn't. He was your brother. I bet he loved you just as much as you love him still, and he'd be proud of the man you are now. You may have done a lot of bad things, but think of all the good you're doing now. Your brother would just be happy to see that you have found your way again. He wouldn't judge you based solely on what grief drove you to do. He would just want his baby brother to live his life in the way that brings you joy; that's all any sibling wants.' Your words make you think back to your own murdered family, but now is not the time for that; now is the time to focus on Scar and his grief.
Your words seem to work, as Scar chuckles. 'He'd like you. He'd tease me mercilessly for taking so long to kiss you. He'd find it hilarious that his brother is just as inept around women as he was. My parents would love you too, though not as much as I. They would be so pleased that at least one of their sons survived long enough to find someone to share their life with. They'd start badgering us about grandchildren the moment I bought you home. As much as they supported my choice to become a monk, I think all they really wanted was for me to settle down and have a family of my own. My brother was so focused on his work that they assumed he'd never find anyone, and with me being a monk… I killed their hopes of having grandchildren to spoil and love. It's a hope I killed again the moment I made myself a murderer.' You can practically hear the walls in Scar's mind come back up, as he tries to restrain his emotions again.
You're having none of it though. 'There is still hope. You have me.' And he's had you several times already, including last night. He has been careful to avoid finishing inside you since that first night though.
Scar pulls away from you, looking you in the eyes sternly. 'Until I can provide you with food, shelter, and stability, I refuse to create life with you. The thought of leaving you with a broken heart is one thing, but the thought of leaving you with a broken heart and a swollen belly… I can't. I don't want any child of mine to be born into the life of a fugitive, and I don't want to ruin your life. The stigma of being a single mother would ruin your chances of moving on, of starting a new life when this is all over. If nothing else, I want you to have that chance. Consider it my gift to you.' If that's his idea of a gift, you'd like a receipt.
You tell him as much, before adding 'Saying it's a gift implies that you don't want it. You've just told me that it benefits us both not to have a child. Which is it? Is it good for me, or for us both?'
Pain fills Scar's eyes briefly, before the façade of calm returns. 'You. It's good for you, because if we were nomads rather than fugitives, I wouldn't care all that much about not having stability. We could travel the world with nothing but a change of clothes and a tent, and that would be enough for us and our children. Maybe we could do just that if we survive the war. But for now, we just can't start a family. I'm sorry.' You're sure that he's tearing himself apart inside, but once again you wish to avoid conflict with him.
You nod sheepishly. 'That's okay. It was only a thought. You're right, anyhow; it wouldn't be practical. We have enough to worry about without adding a baby to that list. I guess that's just one more reason to pray for an end to this war.
'Speaking of the war, Envy will be here soon. We should meet with the others and prepare. Where do you want me?' Scar's eyes seem to flash lustfully for a moment, before they go into battle mode.
He gives you his order. 'I want you nearby with Mei and Marcoh so I can keep an eye on you. If anything happens, I want you to take Mei and run. She's only a child, I don't want Envy to end her life before it's begun. I want you to look after my brother's notes too. If the worst does come to pass, find Edward Elric. As much as he hates me, he is a better man than I. I'm sure he'll find some way to bring the research to life.
'After that, I'd like you to look for my old mentor. Tell him what happened and who you are to me, and him and his group will give you shelter. Start a new life with them, and do your best to avoid getting caught up in this war. I wish there was more I could do to protect you.' Scar leaves the bed and begins dressing. You follow suit, wincing at how cold it is. That's the only real problem with the North; all the snow stops the air from ever warming.
When you're both ready to leave, you pull Scar in for a lingering kiss, before whispering something into his lips;
'If you want to protect me, stay alive.'
-T/S-
The plan almost goes to plan.
Envy comes alone, falling for the trap completely. Enraged by the situation, Envy had transformed from a humanoid form into what can only be described as a huge green lizard, with souls protruding from its skin in large clusters all over its body. Just the sight of it was enough to make you want to run, but you held your ground, waiting with Mei as discussed.
Mei meanwhile made herself very useful indeed, setting off alkahestrical mines as Envy approached your group. Things seemed to be going well, until the difficult part of the plan was put into motion; Marcoh had to coax Envy into grabbing him.
That had been a horrible sight. Watching poor Dr Marcoh being knocked around like a giant ragdoll had been hard to watch, and you found yourself fighting back tears at one point. Finally, Envy took the bait, and Marcoh seized his chance to act. Using his hand (which had one of the symbols Scar's Brother had created etched onto it), he managed to destroy Envy, the beast disappearing before your eyes as souls escaped its body.
After a brief cheer, your group had headed back to camp to meet Yoki who was, predictably, 'keeping the villager's safe'.
With everyone gathered once again, only one question remains; what now?
This has been a source of much contention. Scar and Marcoh want to continue work on the notes, Mei is unsure what to do now that her plan to find a philosopher's stone is out of the question, and Yoki wants to hide his sorry ass away from any further conflict. The conversation is going nowhere, which is problematic; they've now elected to tell you exactly when the deadline for figuring out how to stop the homunculi is.
'Spring?' You question disbelieving. 'That's only a few months away. If we don't set a course of action soon, then-'
Yoki cuts you off. 'Stay out of this. We all know you'll go with Scar no matter what, so your opinion means less than nothing. Just go back looking pretty; it's about all you're go- AH, GET IT OFF ME!' As he was speaking, a grotesque one-eyed creature managed to crawl up Yoki's back, and is now starting at your group malevolently.
'NOBODY MOVE! TAKE ONE STEP AND HE'S DEAD!' It's eye scans your group, looking for any signs of movement.
Marcoh shrugs his shoulders. 'And? It's just Yoki.' Damn. Marcoh is sick of him too, huh?
Scar nods in agreement. 'Do what you like with him. He lost any sympathy from me when he insulted my wife.'
Yoki's panic increases. 'What?! No! Please! Mei, do something.'
The young girl shrugs too. 'I'm with Mr Scar. You're not very nice to Mrs Scar, and that's just horrible.' Xiao-Mei squeaks her approval.
Alphonse adds his opinion into the mix. 'I don't really know him so…'
Jerso pipes in. 'He's a creep. I don't give a shit.' Zampano answers with an approving grunt.
Yoki starts to snivel. 'N-n-none of you? No one? M-m-Mrs Scar?'
You look at him incredulously. 'Seriously? You hate me. Besides, we can't risk giving in to what that thing wants. What does it want, by the way?' You think that's a fair question. It hasn't actually said…
The little green monster seems irritated by your question. 'I'M ENVY, YOU IDIOT, AND I WANT REVENGE! I just wish I hadn't taken such a terrible hostage! Seriously, how pathetic can you get? I though this form was bad, but you're a real scrape-the-barrel kind of pathetic! What a loser! Los- AH!' During Envy's rant, Marcoh managed to sneak behind Yoki with a jar, and capture the weakened homunculus.
Envy looks frantic in the jar. 'HEY! LET ME OUT! I'LL KILL YOU ALL! HOW COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME?' It doesn't look happy, but it's not like it can do anything; that lid is on tight.
Yoki breathes a sigh of relief. 'Oh, I understand what that was. You were just playing for time by saying that stuff. You were saving my life.'
Your whole group nod awkwardly in unison, before you let out a sigh. 'Well, at least we know more about the homunculi now.'
Marcoh nods. 'That's right. We now know that our technique only weakens them, rather than killing them.' Mei hums, before your group all fall into silence.
After a pregnant pause, Scar breaks the silence. 'That doesn't matter. The last time I was in Central, the Elric brothers couldn't hurt the homunculi because their leader he stopped them from using their alchemy. If we weaken the leader with alkahestry, it should stop that from happening again, and give the alchemists a fair chance of defeating him.
'I think I know what must be done. Marcoh and I must continue to decipher these notes. As such, I propose we split up. Marcoh and I shall learn more of alkahestry, Mei…' he takes the jar from Marcoh '… can return to Xing with this. It's not a philosopher's stone, but it's the closest thing we have.
'As for everyone else, find somewhere safe. Elric brother, do you know of such a place?' Wait, he doesn't plan to take you with him? That can't be right, he's overlooked you is all. He just assumes you're a given partner, just like Yoki had.
Alphonse nods. 'We could go to Liore. The homunculi have already attacked there. The people could use help rebuilding.' A worthy cause. You wish him and the others all the best.
Scar nods approvingly. 'Very well. Take my wife and the others. Marcoh and I shall meet you there just before the homunculi make their move.' Your heart sinks. He really doesn't want you with him?
No way. You're not leaving him! Not after everything else you've been through.
Trying your best to look stern, you glare at Scar, and cross your arms. 'I'm going with you and Marcoh.' Your whole group becomes profoundly silent, as everyone stares at you.
Scar himself seems shocked, taking a few moments to compose himself before he talks. 'I have already risked your life countless times. I will not risk it again by taking you with me.' He gives you a firm stare, one that would make lesser women burst into tears. You're not one of those women though. Besides, just behind his steely gaze of his, you see something all too familiar.
Fear.
Fear of losing you, just like he lost his brother.
You'd rather have this conversation in private, but you doubt Scar will agree to a change of venue. So, mustering up all the strength you have, you meet his gaze, and intensify your own. 'Then I'll risk it myself. This is my choice, Scar. Either you take me, or the moment I get the chance, I will leave this group and hunt you down. I swore that I would remain at your side no matter what, and I meant it. Now, what shall it be? Take me with you so you can keep an eye on me, or watch and worry as I follow you to wherever God forsaken corner of the Earth you travel to.' The other member of your group begin to back away awkwardly, not wanting to bare witness to your domestic.
Taking a few steps forward so he can place his hands on your shoulders, Scar's expression softens, and his eyes seem to plead with your own. 'To lose you would be the end of me. I have given you what's left of my soul, and if you should die, you'll take me with you. That's why I need you to go with the others, for both our sakes.' You almost falter. You can't argue with that. Can you?
You soften your own expression, and bring a hand up to stroke his face. 'You may have given me your soul, but I have given you everything I am. I will stand by you no matter what. Even if we win this war, there's no guarantee we'll all survive. I don't want to waste a moment of my life, or the time we could have together. That's why I'm coming with you, and why I'd be willing to walk across the desert to Xing barefoot just to see you one last time.
'One more thing; you don't always have to be the one protecting me. I know I'm not as strong as you are physically, but there is more than one kind of strength. And I swear that if things get bad, I'll find a way to safety. You let me risk myself today knowing I had a contingency plan; why won't you let me come with you with such a plan in place?' You can still see the fear in Scar's eyes, before it's slowly replaced by adoration.
Scar sighs. 'Very well. You can travel with Marcoh and I. However, if you get so much as a scratch, I will arrange passage to Liore for you. That is non-negotiable.' You smile, and softly kiss Scar on the cheek.
'Thank you.' You whisper into his skin.
With your spat now over, the others inch closer, coughing conspicuously to try and get you to pay attention to them.
It works, and you and Scar detach yourself from each other before Scar addresses the group. 'The plan is decided. We should head out as soon as we can.' You suspect he means now, which suits you fine; as long as he's not planing on leaving without you.
-POV-Switch-
Having very few possessions, it doesn't take long to pack everything away ready for departure. The refugees were kind enough to give tents and sleeping bags to all three groups of leavers, as well as enough food to last them several days. Their show of generosity is enough to put a smile on all but one face.
Scar's.
Try as he might, he can't shake off the fear that has taken ahold of his mind.
He is planning to travel as far as it takes to get answers. He will travel to hell and back to uncover everything in his brother's notes, and he'll do whatever it takes to take down the homunculi.
He just didn't think his love would do the same.
There's a part of him that somehow loves her more after this. He has no doubt that she really would have followed him if he hadn't agreed to take her. He really needs to stop underestimating how much she loves him.
It's that love that scares him though.
What if he does lose her? He may pray for her safety every night, but who's to say those prayers haven't fallen on deaf ears? He used to pray for his family before the war, but that didn't stop them being murdered right before his eyes.
Is she destined for the same? If he outlives her, it'll haunt him for the rest of his life. He can already feel her touch whenever he looks at her; would losing her amplify the feeling? Would he feel the ghost of her everywhere he went? The softness of her body, the smell of her skin, the taste of her lips… would they haunt him as his brother does?
He may have known his brother for many years more than he's known his love, but this love is different. This love is intense and unable to be ignored. This love gnaws at him constantly, never letting him forget about it. This love is always with him, warm and comforting. Will it start to burn if she dies? Or will the comfort feel as cold and as empty as her lifeless body?
So many unknowns, ones that he hopes he never uncovers. All he can do is pray that nothing happens to her, because of it does…
He meant what he told her. If she dies, there is no redemption for him. If she dies, he'll throw away his own life in a final act of desperate fighting against whatever kills her.
If she dies, it's all over.