.o London Bridge is Falling Down o.

Clara

London Bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down...

Eva's knife had sliced perfectly, and now the ceiling was raining, storming, screaming. The creaks and groans of twisting wood and metal were awful, dragging across my ears with painfully long nails. Everyone was shouting. Names, commands, screeching. It all pounded my senses, slicing my ears open and raw.

My feet shuffled as the metal I was standing on lurched. It jumped, shook. Below me, Zach was running, but Eva was watching me. I think she called to me, but the screams of the old decorations choked her voice before it reached my ears. The world spun. I lowered myself down, leaning over the edge of the trembling catwalk. Catwalk. That was a funny word. Catwalk, catwalk, catwalk-

Another quake made me choke on my heart. The pressure between my eyes was returning. It'd been getting harder to keep myself afloat through the ragged waves of my own mind, every fiber straining against the pull of the inky blackness, the lovely painless void. Every nerve was fighting the need to escape, to hide, to run.

Ally and Eva were too occupied to notice, and I hadn't wanted to distract them from their mission. The catwalk jumped forward again, and my eyes found Eva's. Ally was pulling her towards the door. I needed to jump if I was going to follow them. Ally needed help, she was slipping; every hour she got closer to the edge, and Eva was teetering ever closer to the brink, every minute closer to the impending snap. If I was going to leave with them, I needed to jump- now.

I glanced down, and for a moment all I saw were the waves, black and violent. Mist sprayed up as they crashed into each other, foam swirling through their dark currents; every whirl daring me to dive, inviting me into the torrents of unforgiving indifference. I leaned closer.

Another quake jerked me back. The supporting wires of my hanging bridge were close to snapping. Breath shuttering in my chest, my eyes found their way down again. The waves faded, but they didn't disappear; I could see through them, like a dark tinted glass. Zach was crouched over the two Gallagher Girls. Grant was dodging the falling pieces, one of his arms over his head, the other limp at his side. My breathing was speeding up, trying to match my heartbeat's rapid pace. I could feel my narrow bridge trembling, nearly ready to fall. Eva and Ally were almost out the door. Eva was staring at me as my cousin towed her along, away from the stage, away from her brother, away from the confrontation she couldn't bring herself to face.

My cousin was running, fear in her eyes.

My cousin was protecting, a sadness and longing in his.

I could only follow one.

Run. Run. Ru-

The bridge shook again, my hands trembling with the force. A wave nearly reached my foot. I had to blink the spray from my eyes. My head was already starting to feel foggy. My insides seemed to melt as I raised my hand in a simple salute just as Ally tugged Eva through the door. Then I jumped; down down down down down...

...

There was no splash, only the roar of the waves swallowing me whole. Rusted metal scraped the rotting wood. The ground was trembling. Shouts tore through the chaos. My legs folded nearly as soon as my toes touched the ground, pieces of splintered wood and metal digging into my knees. The waves roared around me, pushing and tugging at my mind. Everything was screaming, my head, the stage, the Girls, my friends. My breath fogged in the air, moist and thick; my lungs were burning. Ice splintered across the wood as my fingers spread across it, coating the surface with a white gloss. Pixie glided around my fingers, her wings frosting slightly.

Another falling beam shook the ground. The ice shattered.

It's not real. My heartbeat was pounding in my ears as I shut my eyes, willing Pixie and her lies to vanish. I didn't want to go under, not now. I wouldn't let myself reach the bottom, no matter how easy, how painless, it would be. I didn't want the relief if it meant losing my mind. I would get through this without Pixie.

I tried to stand up, only to sway, stumbling every so slightly. A yelp burst from my lips. Hands were on my shoulders, their grip too tight as they ripped me from the ground. My breath hiccuped in my throat, threatening to choke me. I barely had time to blink before a metal beam landed where I was seconds ago. Time seemed to slow, my heartbeat fading, giving way to the chaos around me. The hands continued to pull me backward through the ragged waters, a voice cutting through the chaos.

"Grant, get that door open! Bex, go make sure Macey is safe." The voice was yelling above me, nearly choked by the wails- the cries of a place forgotten. My breath burned my lungs as I tried to stand on my own. The grip on my arms shifted, one wrapping around my waist and the other pressing against my ear as if trying to block out the noise and destruction raging around us.

The destruction I'd caused.

Across the stage, the doorway was wide and empty. Ally was gone. Eva was gone. Another metal beam fell, crushing the wooden star, shattering every forgotten memory that wasn't mine to destroy. Another hiccup of breath lodged in my throat. Beside me, a star landed, flakes of gold and silver paint blending with wood chips and dust in the air that was choking me. It was all falling. A place that had once held joy, a host of memories, now falling in a shower of metal and wood, a storm of wind and waves; and it was all my fault.

Joy was as fragile as a mind, breakable as glass. Memories were a precious thing, and I'd shown Eva exactly where to cut them down. I was the reason they were being destroyed. I was just like him.

My windpipe was as thin as a straw, air whistling as it forced its way around choppy salt and water, down to my burning lungs, getting stuck in my throat. Dust coated my tongue; my mouth was filling with wood flakes. I could taste the fear in the air like blood, but no one else sounded afraid, their voices sharp as daggers.

"- need to get back to the school."

"-getting away!"

"-too risky- on your left!"

Pixie was circling my head again, dancing through the debris, the same word cutting through the torrent of noise, floating down to me in a shower of constant bells.

Run. Run. Run. Run. Run. R-

My body lurched, and the arm around my waist grew tighter, causing my head to swim, arms straining to reach the ground and hurtle me away. "It's okay, Clara. I got you; it's okay." A voice said close to my ear. But it wasn't okay, I wanted to scream. Nothing was ever okay. I was clawing at the arms restraining me, but the hands held me tighter, pressing my head against something hard and solid, indifferent to the cold, dull ache that was seeping from my skull to my core.

There were more shouts, two more crashes, and then I was being pulled backward, the arms around me and the solid warmth at my back. My heels dragged against the floor in protest, a whine squeezing through my narrow throat. I wouldn't be taken. I couldn't be taken. Ally said he was gone. They were supposed to protect me.

"Calm down. It's okay, we're going to take you somewhere safe." The voice near my ear said again, but it echoed in my head until it sounded far far far away, like I was a princess stuck in a tower and the voice was down down down down below.

RunRunRunRunRunRunRunRun-

I squirmed, but the arms grew tighter. Above me, Pixie zipped faster and faster. She wasn't alone anymore. The others had come as well, their bell-like voices singing down to me, calling to me, warning me. The air was getting lighter, and it no longer tasted like fear and blood. I tried again to slip out of the arms dragging me away, but they shifted just right like they knew what I was trying to do. No-no-no-no- No one was supposed to be able to catch me. I was the fastest; I was the best hider. Run, run as fast as you can; you can't catch me-

But I was already caught. The locks were already around me. I couldn't escape, couldn't leave. There was only one place to hide from what was coming. InsideInsideInside they couldn't hurt me. Inside Pixie could help me. She could sing until it didn't hurt; all I had to do was swim downdowndowndowndown.

My heels bumped against something, and the arms around me faltered slightly. Arms raised above my head, I slipped down, trying to run, but a hand caught my ankle. A scream ripped from my stomach all the way to my mouth, ringing in my head and bouncing between my ears. Pixie and her friends did somersaults, tumbling away from me on the waves of my voice.

Noise shattered in my ears as if they had been filled with water and my scream had drained them dry. As Pixie shook her tiny head side to side, a mist I hadn't noticed life from my eyes. The chaos was still in front of me, but I'd been dragged far. I could see the catwalk shift above the pile of rubble and destruction, my bridge tilting dangerously before one corner's support wires snapped.

Behind me, the voice was yelling, getting closer. "Clara! Clara!" I could feel the footsteps approaching me. I could recognize the voice now, but I couldn't tear my eyes away from the snapping wires on the other side of the stage. My throat burned, and my chest felt hollow. I couldn't look away as my cousin pulled me up to my feet, saying over and over that it was okay, that I was safe with him. My feet moved willingly this time, letting him lead me away from the torrent in front of me. I finally allowed my head to turn as we approached the doorway, listening to the sound of complete and utter destruction with a shutter. Leaving Pixie alone inside.

...

Outside, it was much cooler, the sunset bleeding pink and orange. Silhouettes darted against the sky like dragonflies across a naiad's lagoon. I blinked a few times, willing my head to clear, my thoughts to connect in a straight line again.

Voices called out mixing in my mind and getting lost in the lagoon. Their meaning washing away before I could grasp them. The last image from the theater replaying in my head, over and over and over and over. My fault. My fault. My fault. My fault.

Just like him.

Zach stopped, his arms dropping but staying close. Time passed, and the voices talked and yelled, and I sank to the grass and began pulling out strands with my fingers. When the sun was just a small, golden slice in the sky, one voice crossed the lagoon. When I'd finished drying off the words I realized it was Zach asking if I was okay. Okay. Okay. OK. Simple word. Simple meaning. Four letters. Two letters. Not what it seems. Okay ok okay ok okay ok-

"Clara?" This time the word skipped across the lagoon, barely wet.

Zach's eyes were worried when I looked at him. They were sad. They were- were... Something else. For a moment I was worried he would see how it was all my fault. That I made Ally stop killing, that I showed her the truth, that I'd given her a gun and pointed it at her own head. That I was just like him. It didn't matter that I'd wanted to help. All that mattered was that Ally was gone. Eva was gone. The memories and the catwalk, the bridge and the world were falling down.

My cousin placed a warm hand on my shoulder. I blinked, reminding myself that it was my turn. I was supposed to say something now. That was how talking worked. When I opened my mouth, sticky from not swallowing in so long, I couldn't think of anything but the snapping wires. The destruction I'd caused. My throat was producing noise before I could think. "London bridge is falling down, falling down, falling down..."

Zach sighed. He pushed a lock of hair away from my face and looked up at someone who was talking.

"London bridge is falling down. My fair lady."

...

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