***Handwriting: James, Sirius, Remus, Peter.
Warning: Language***
Year 4 Chapter 15: The Alum Committee
Lily was sitting at the front of the room with her chin in her hand. Snape was nowhere to be found which was a rarity but she still wasn't alone: Marlene and Mary sat on either side of her.
He found it strange that he was still aware of her movements, even though he sat with his back to her, laughing at Sirius and Peter not being able to figure out that the word he chose was Snivellus when they had the letters S-V-L-S and he had drawn an obscenely large nose on the hanging man's face. They had passed the point of trying to pretend to be listening to the Committee debate and make decisions on a ball he had no interest in attending because the one girl he would ever consider going with hated him so much that the prospects of going out with him "ruined" things for her. The same girl who giggled at something Marlene whispered in her ear - the sound of it caused his stomach to squirm pleasantly yet his heart still ached at her words.
To distract himself he focused on Sirius who had taken the parchment and finished the drawing -adding his own embellishments - before filling in the final letters. Peter finally seemed to get it because he snorted loudly, causing Sirius to laugh, James to chuckle, and Remus to peer at them out of the corner of his eye, smirking. Lily looked over her shoulder at them curious and slightly disdainful. Professor McGonagall sent them a warning look but they carried on, pretending not to care. Pretending that he couldn't feel their eyes on him. Pretending that he wasn't "ruining" things by simply feeling.
"Mr Potter do you have something you'd like to share with the committee?" McGonagall asked in a firm voice. Peter only laughed harder so he hid his face in his hands so quickly his head almost hit the table. Sirius sobered up enough to hide his amusement behind a badly disguised grin. James cleared his throat to stop his laughter.
"Yeah, the theme. Why not make it… Starry Night? We've been talking it over and think it's a brilliant idea," James grinned, barely able to contain himself when he heard Peter hissing with laughter.
"You should have said something sooner, James," Slughorn smiled widely. McGonagall looked at him as if telling him that even if Slughorn hadn't realised he was being played, she did. "We're just voting on our top three choices now." Slughorn pointed to the blackboard behind him where he had written a list of themes.
"Ah, bollocks," James grumbled and collapsed onto the table, using his arms to muffle his giggles.
"Five points from Gryffindor, Potter, for your language," McGonagall said and when Professor Slughorn returned to his blackboard she leant back and whispered; "If you're not going to pay attention you'd better find something quiet to do."
"Yes, ma'am," Sirius promised in a tone of exaggerated sincerity. Remus shook his head and began writing on a piece of parchment, smirking all the while.
Not paying attention to the committee! That's quite rude. - R.L.
Like you were paying attention Moony - the S.O.B
i thought he was gonna start drooling -J
You're confusing me with yourself, James. You're the one that drools. Why are we calling me Moony? -R.L.
Because we are simply over the moon for you - P.
your the mooniest moonchild there is ya LUNatic -J
We could go back to Moonchild if you want? - the S.O.B
Heavens no! But you're still the most obvious people that have ever existed. People will start to notice and ask questions. -R.L.
We'll just tell them that you really like showing people your butt -the S.O.B.
the perfect back story… get it cuz your butts on your back -J
I am going to kill you both -R.L.
death threats? i thought we were friends? - J
I don't think Dumblebumbles would like to hear you talking like that - the S.O.B.
I don't think 'Dumblebumbles' would appreciate you calling him that -P.
What are you talking about? You came up with it -the S.O.B.
No I didn't you did? -P.
No, look! It's right there - the S.O.B.
It's literally
James have we figured out what we're going to do for Halloween? -P.
You can't ignore the obvious, Pete. It's right there! -the S.O.B.
I still think dungbombs are a good idea -P.
I think it might be a bit too juvenile for what he's trying to go for - R.L.
what do u mean 'he'? your helping youve got no choice -J
Oh okay, Peter. Ignore me. Fine. I was going to say dungbombs is a fine and classic idea but now I agree with Remus. They're much too juvenile. -the S.O.B.
Oh gee aren't I clever coming up with a truly awful nickname for our Headmaster? Ha Ha Ha Dumblebumbles will surely go down in history. -P, at his most sincere.
Do I really have no choice? -R.L.
By Godric Gryffindor's pet lion Pete, I had no idea you could be so conceited. Calling yourself clever? - the S.O.B.
There's no winning with you -P.
we cant do it without you! -J
did gryffindor have a lion? -J
Merlin himself could raise from the dead just to tell me he didn't and I would not believe it -the S.O.B.
Dungbombs are go? We could spruce them up a bit - the S.O.B.
I think I could charm them to delay their reaction. Make sure they explode in someone's face? -R.L.
fine. we'll use them for the hufflepuffs - J
I think the Hufflepuffs could do with a bit more than dungbombs mate. - the S.O.B.
there just hufflepuffs? -J
You know, I think that's borderline offensive? You're being prejudiced. Moony what do you think? -the S.O.B.
I think we should hear James out before we really decide, but yes I think you're right. Peter? -R.L.
I agree with James. They're just Hufflepuffs. -P.
merlins left arse cheek! HAVE you seen them play quidditch! besides they don't really do anything ive never had any trouble with them. -J
I think we might need an intervention. -the S.O.B.
You're right, James. They're too nice for anything more than Dungbombs. Intervention for what, Sirius? -R.L.
Are we forgetting Wilkes? The seventh year who was a Death Eater with Smellfoy. He was a Hufflepuff and I certainly had a problem with him. -the S.O.B
An intervention for James's… problem. -the S.O.B.
dungbombs will be used for ravenclaw then. - J
if ur talking about my gramar - it is not a problem. -J
What were you talking about, Sirius? -R.L.
Has no one noticed that James's use of 'offensive terms' has increased dramatically? I know we've been hanging out with a crazy Irish woman but that's no excuse -the S.O.B.
I have -P.
look who's talking! -J
Petition to start a swear jar? -R.L.
no. -J
No, it's only weird when he does it - the S.O.B.
That's not really fair, Sirius. -R.L.
Ha! intervention cancelled what are we doing to the Hufflepuffs? -J
I never said it was cancelled. I still think we should use a swear jar. -R.L.
We should get a jar for every time James touches his hair. -the S.O.B.
He'd go bankrupt and we like Mrs P too much for that -R.L.
we should have an intervention for remus's snoring and sirius's singing -J
I do not snore! - R.L.
Ha I don't get an intervention! And yes you do. You sound like a chainsaw -P
I don't know what that is but yes you do snore. - the S.O.B
Let me live James -the S.O.B.
what is a chainsaw? and I will let you live as soon as you stop disturbing the peace! -J
I sing with the voice of an angel! You're just jealous because you sound like a cat in heat -the S.O.B.
A chainsaw is a motorised axe and it sounds exactly like Remus snoring. -P.
voice of an angel! hahahahaha that is the funniest thing youve ever said this is why were friends you always make me laugh -J
I thought we were talking about the Halloween prank? -R.L.
Dungbombs for the Hufflepuffs. Sirius singing for the Ravenclaws? -P.
perfect! theyll have a headache for a month! -J
Or we could just put James on their Quidditch team -the S.O.B.
That might be too mean, we should do that to the Slytherins -the S.O.B.
We could steal all their furniture
Or glue all their furniture to the ceiling
Or paint their common room in Gryffindor colours
Or
MATE! you can insult me and my hair and my grammar you could even insult my mother but you do NOT mess with quidditch -J
dont insult my mother i will kill you -J
Death threats? I thought we were friends? -R.L. quoting James Potter
What if we do a scary prank for the Hufflepuffs? Like
Your mums really good at quidditch why would I insult her? -the S.O.B
STOP TAKING THE PAPER! -P.
Lets focus on the prank before you say something that you'll regret. Halloween is only a few weeks away and we don't even have a plan yet, what if we need to order something? -P.
your right peter though i always thought sirius was excellent at focusing -J
My focus is nothing compared to your drive and determination James -the S.O.B.
sirius you are the kindest person ive ever met where would i be without you? -J
Murdered and thrown into a dumpster -R.L.
Nonsense! Who would want to kill James? He's the most wonderful person I've ever met -the S.O.B.
im not as wonderful as you honestly you should meet yourself -J
Aw, mate, I love you too -the S.O.B.
not as much as i love you -J
Preposterous! - the S.O.B.
contrary, 'tis the most logical evaluation of our relationship -J
You are the more lovable one -the S.O.B.
to that i feel i must agree -J
How dare you? I bite my thumb at thee! -the S.O.B.
bite your thumb at me! it is i who bites mine thumb at thee! -J
As entertaining at this is Peter's right. We're running out of time to plan -R.L.
Thank you! Merlin -P.
Scaring the Hufflepuffs sounds fun -the S.O.B.
well find a boggart somewhere around the castle and hide it in my trunk till halloween then release it in their common room - J
your rebuttal good sir! -J
An excellent idea -the S.O.B
My rebuttal! Your mother is a hamster and your father smells of elderberries, how's that for a rebuttal you finky headed animal food trough water! -the S.O.B.
fucking purebloods man they're so weird! -J
Aren't you a pureblood? -R.L.
its questionable, especially after reading that -J
JAMES USED A COMMA! - the S.O.B.
WE GOT OFF TOPIC! -P.
Right. We can't plan to use something we don't have. We might not be able to find a bogart in time for Halloween. Then what? The Hufflepuffs go un-pranked? -R.L.
The injustice! We could hide in their common room after we're done with everyone else and just jump out at people -the S.O.B.
Boring. -J
Okay, what if we talked to the ghosts? Maybe they could haunt their dormitories for the night. -R.L.
Better idea! Do you guys know about muggle Haunted Houses? -R.L.
The castle's already haunted. They see ghosts on a daily basis so it wouldn't be scary -J
No! Muggle haunted houses are really scary. My brother took me through one once and they made it look like it was a murder scene and that the crazy guy who killed him was still in there and he kept popping up in different rooms. It was terrifying. -P.
Yeah, my mum went to one that had an asylum theme. Apparently, a friend of hers couldn't make it through and they had to send someone in to drag her out -R.L.
Yeah, my brother had to carry Zach out -P.
Who is Zach and why do you have a brother? -the S.O.B.
oh, peter has an entire secret family he didn't tell us about. zachs his little brother who thinks robes are dresses, his older brother is adam and he has a sister and a mum and an uncle. we met them because we went to his house over the summer holiday unexpectedly -J
They're not a secret. They've just never come up -P.
I feel like I don't know you at all - the S.O.B.
So haunted houses? -R.L.
Do not change the subject Moony! Why is Peter hiding his family from us? -the S.O.B.
I'm not they've just never come up and you're the one that keeps changing the subject. What do you think of muggle haunted houses -P.
dont know never been in one -J
Exactly how can we have an opinion on something we've never experienced -the S.O.B.
It's decided then. We're doing it just so James and Sirius can form an opinion. It's for the Hufflepuffs right? -R.L.
You're doing it then. We don't know anything about
"Mr Potter," Professor Flitwick called squeakily for their attention so suddenly that Peter jumped and stuffed their scroll of notes into his book bag before James could finish writing. "You and your friends can join our group since you don't seem to have a preference."
James looked around the room and saw that people were indeed forming large groups each led by a different professor. McGonagall had a small group of seventh years already hunched over pieces of parchment, their quills only stopped to dip into their inkwells. Slughorn had the majority of the Slytherin students present gathered around a large amount of linens of various fabrics and colours. Neither of the groups seemed to be doing anything interesting so James decided to take a chance with his Charms professor.
"Merlin's beard Professor, you act as if you don't know you're our favourite," James smirked, gathering his things. He could have sworn he saw Flitwick smile at him before turning away.
Lily was in their group and thankfully not Snape - he was still nowhere to be found but Marlene, Mary, Persephone, Josie, and Eilidh were all present along with a few younger students all of whom were Ravenclaws.
"What are we doing?" Remus whispered to Eilidh when Flitwick's back was turned.
"Food," she said out of the corner of her mouth.
Peter perked up instantly. Remus looked relieved.
"Does that mean we have to make the food?" Sirius asked, looking rather sceptical. Eilidh shrugged and turned forward just as Professor Flitwick settled himself on top of a stack of books so he could be properly seen over the table.
"I was hoping for a representation of each house but I suppose this will have to do," Flitwick said after glancing at the students gazing back at him. "We are in charge of choosing what food will be served at the Alum Ball," he spoke as he passed out parchment and quills to each student. "The ball is supposed to celebrate each house for its uniqueness but also celebrate house unity. So, think about that while you make a list of what sort of food you'd like to be served at the ball."
It could have been his imagination running wild but James could have sworn he saw Lily glancing over the top of her clipboard at him on multiple occasions.
The look could have been reproachful. Perhaps he didn't look like he was actually doing anything. He hadn't written anything down but how exactly could food represent Gryffindor - without getting weird that is. Peter has simply written down a list of his favourite foods (fudge flies were written twice), Sirius wrote Not Dragon Balls, and Remus was, like himself, staring at his parchment hoping that if he concentrated hard enough the words would simply appear on the page.
"Hey Potter," Lily whispered, making Sirius move over so she could sit next to him. James had been so concentrated on not looking at her, he hadn't noticed her movement. Sirius smirked over her shoulder wiggling his eyebrows in a suggestive sort of way. "Think of anything interesting?"
"Er-no." James had never been so confused in his life. Hadn't it been just a day ago since she told him he ruined things for her? Was that exactly what she said?
"Bugger off Black, we're having a private conversation," Lily whispered harshly. Sirius had angled himself around Lily and was gazing at them with a stupid and embarrassing expression.
"Evans, love, he's gonna tell me everything anyway," Sirius smirked. He could be so damned irritating at times.
"See if Eilidh's thought of anything good," James ordered rather than kicking him under the table. Sirius feigned a pout then turned away from them.
"So," Lily said, turning to face him again. She bit her lip and scrunched her nose. He was not yet used to her facial expressions so he couldn't tell he she was simply thinking or if she smelt something horrid.
"Yes, Evans," he said, leaning back in his chair trying to look casual and cool and not like there was a storm of emotions brewing inside him just because she was speaking to him voluntarily. It wasn't until he caught her staring at his hand did he realise he was messing with his hair again.
"I was just wondering if you were mad or angry or something," she shrugged, her voice light though she was avoiding his eye.
"Er… no?" James answered. Her question only added to his confusion. He felt that if he spent another moment in her presence he would begin to question if he really knew anything besides Quidditch and dung bombs.
"Okay… good," she straightened up, nodded, and picked up her quill again, rolling it between her fingers.
"Why would you think I was mad?" he asked, picking at the corner of his parchment. What exactly had Remus told her when she asked about him?
"Oh, I just thought I was kinda mean when… yesterday in Honeydukes and I thought I might have hurt your feelings," Lily answered, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear and gripping her quill tightly. "I mean I'm glad I didn't hurt your feelings especially when you were actually being nice I just wasn't expecting it 'cause you're usually… you know what I mean."
"That half of my personality is an annoying prat and the other half is a stuck up butt waffle? Oh, yeah, I know," James joked, trying to ease her nerves because he could see now that she was truly nervous - this was uncharted territory for them. Instead, it only seemed to make it worse. She bit her lip and ducked her head causing her hair to fall around her face. James nudged her shoulder. "Hey, I was joking. Apology accepted if that's what you want."
"As long as we're fine - or as fine as can be between us, then I'm happy," Lily said, looking up and straightening herself again. He really wished he could get her to not look so determinedly indifferent so that maybe he could actually tell what she was thinking.
"I think we're doing excellently for us, so you should be ecstatic," James smirked and cocked an eyebrow. She smiled at him and chuckled though it didn't quite reach her eyes - there was something sad about in them. "What is it, Lily?" he asked, instantly concerned and ready to do whatever needed to be done to banish that sadness.
"Nothing," Lily said, her voice high and eyebrows raised in shock. James studied her eyes. Like Sirius, they seemed to be the only way he could read any emotion off of her.
"Mate," Sirius called, reaching around Lily to thump him on the shoulder. "Eilidh wants Haggis."
"No, I don't," Eilidh protested, her voice came muffled. She had buried her face in her hands. Remus was chuckling though trying to hide it for Eilidh's sake.
"Haggis and cabbage, look at her parchment," Sirius smirked and ripped the parchment out of Eilidh's hands, tearing a corner off in the process.
"You wrote it, you cock nosed butt waffle," Eilidh whispered furiously, her arms stretching over Remus, reaching for the parchment.
"It's pompous butt waffle, please give Evans some respect," James told her, taking the parchment from Sirius's hands. Lily groaned and turned away, smiling. He moved his glasses atop his head and pretended to inspect the writing carefully. Sirius hadn't even bothered to disguise his handwriting but he couldn't help but tease her a little. "Well, Eilidh, if it makes you feel any better I think you're right. You do need to have Gryffindor's courage in order to eat Haggis and cabbage."
"You know this would be hilarious - really, really funny if I were Scottish. Because, idiots, Haggis is a Scottish dish." Eilidh smiled wryly and snatched the parchment back.
There was a moment's pause before Sirius decidedly said, "It's still funny," and James announced his agreement.
"Plenty of people like Haggis," Remus said while Eilidh glared, trying to hide a smirk.
"Are you trying to tell us something Moony?" James drawled.
"Just that you're being inconsiderate to people's tastes," Remus answered.
"Moony likes horse guts," Sirius announced. Eilidh rolled her eyes.
"I think it's sheep," Remus corrected. Neither James nor Sirius had a chance to reply because Professor Flitwick had called for their attention.
"It's almost time to go so quickly write your name on your parchment. We'll discuss everyone's choices during the next meeting. And third years please remember your essays are due tomorrow." Flitwick waved his wand and the parchment flew to the front of the table in a neat pile.
The students filed out, James and Sirius at the front of the crowd. Their conversation didn't end until they had reached Gryffindor Tower. It was discovered the Moony really did like Haggis.
***Monty Python anyone? No, just me? That's cool.
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