***There are too many references to earlier chapters to do a recap but if you have any questions about something just ask :D XO***

Chapter 16 of Year 4: Evasive Action

The Monday after a Hogsmeade weekend was always dreadfully boring, to the point that even watching Peeves startle the first years out of their sleepy stupor couldn't cheer their spirits. The day seemed especially bleak when the ceiling in the Great Hall reflected a horribly blue, cloudless, autumn sky, while they were bound to be indoors all day in class. However, there were rare moments when things would start to liven up usually because of a student in possession of a good sense of humour. In this moment it was Gabe Pevensie helping Frank Longbottom finish his Divinations homework by predicting that Dirk Cresswell would lose his hair by getting his head stuck in a toilet. To which James laughed while bringing a spoonful of cereal to his mouth, dropping it, and hitting his knee on the table while trying to dodge it.

"I predict that James Potter will die of his own folly," Remus said smartly.

"I predict that Remus Lupin will die by suffocating under his own pillow tonight," James returned, clutching his bruised knee.

"At the hand of Jamie's pride," Sirius added with a smirk.

"Pfft, I will die gloriously," Remus said, thrusting out his chest heroically before laughing. "Probably rescuing you lot from some stunt."

"You'll die gloriously on a full moon probably choking on rabbit bones or something," Peter retorted over the rim of his pumpkin juice.

"Shhhhhh," Remus hissed, smiling into a piece of toast.

"Uh-oh, better watch out James," Sirius grinned.

"Mate, the bunny jokes are last year's thing," James said indignantly while messing up his hair and grabbing for a piece of bacon.

"The bunny jokes are never going to end!" Sirius said stubbornly, smirking.

"I have another prediction!" Remus announced, dusting his hands free of bread crumbs. He cleared his throat and closed his eyes, pretending to be channelling his Inner Eye. "I predict that our very own James Fleamont Potter will be slapped in the face by… hang on - I'm sensing something angry… with red hair and something green… could it be - Good morning Lily Evans! What a pleasant surprise!"

Lily had marched over to them looking very angry indeed. Heeding Remus's warning James stood and took a cautious step back as she approached watching for any signs that her hands were about to fly.

"Why is Severus in the hospital?" she asked brandishing a letter at him sounding like she already knew the answer.

"Because he's an idiot," James answered nonchalantly, munching on a strip of bacon.

"I didn't know that idiocy caused people to just spontaneously break out in boils," Lily snarled taking a dangerous step forward.

"It's a new phenomenon. I was just reading about it in the Prophit," James pulled the Daily Prophet out from under Sirius's elbow, ignoring the stupid smirk on his face. "Yes, see its right under 'Mad-eye Moody Does It Again.' He really is an excellent Auror, I wouldn't be surprised if they give him an Order of Merli-"

Lily snatched the paper out from James's scanning eyes and hit his shoulder with it, "If I find out this had anything to do with you-"

"Evans! I know I'm brilliant but honestly, that Moody is genuinely talented," James said, snatching the paper from where Lily held it threateningly pointed under his chin.

"The boils, Potter. The boils," Lily droned in a tight voice.

"Oh…. Evans, I'm shocked at you! Accusing me of giving Snivelly boils without any proof. That's not really fair is it?" James placed his hands on his hips.

Lily flared but instead of biting back she seemed to be thinking hard.

"Mate," Sirius said, trying to get James's attention.

"After the years of lecturing me on 'attacking' people without any proof of wrong doings-"

"-James."

"And starting unsolicited fights, which rarely happens by the way-"

"-Potter!"

"I'd think you'd know better than accusing someone of something without any proof-"

At this Sirius coughed loudly finally gaining James's attention. He gave James a stern look that seemed to suggest that it had been his fault after all. James merely rolled his eyes and turned his attention back to Lily.

"Well, I hope you're happy with yourself," James finished, crossed his arms and sat with a "humph."

"Who else would do something like this?" Lily challenged. James shrugged.

"Maybe he did it to himself," Sirius suggested as he snatched a piece of bacon from Peter's plate. Lily squinted at him. Remus huffed as he put his face into his palm. Peter, who was about to take a sip of pumpkin juice, set down his chalice. James arched a brow at him, smirking. "I mean we all know something's wrong with him. Normal people don't have that much grease."

James snapped his fingers in sudden comprehension. "That's why his nose is so swollen! The boils must be the final stage of his disease. May Snivellus rest in peace."

James laughed, looking at Lily hoping she would share in his joke. Lily simply glared at him.

"These are for you," Lily snarled, slapping two letters against James's chest causing his skin to sting. She turned on her heels to stride away but James caught her by the wrist.

"Wait, Lily," James said, suddenly sombre. Lily looked at him, her expression guarded. "I predict that, if you're not careful, you could lose your beautiful hair to Snively's disease." Lily fought furiously against James's grip. "Remember to shampoo regularly, for my sake." Lily ripped her arm free from his grip so hard that she slapped him in the face with the back of her hand. She paused momentarily seeming on the verge of apologising then thought the better of it and strode away.

"Mate, that was absolutely the worst exchange I've ever seen between the two of you," Sirius laughed.

"Yeah, well it's more action than you've ever had," James said, massaging his jaw.

"I predict that Moony will be the next Divinations professor," Peter said quickly over Sirius's reply.

"Professor Moony Lupin, I like it," James smiled, seemingly forgetting about his cheek.

"What did those letters say?" Remus asked, succeeding in averting James's attention.

James picked up the letters from where he had accidentally dropped them on the floor. There was one for himself and Sirius, each addressed in the same loopy handwriting.

"Slughorn," Sirius moaned, tossing his letter down on the table, narrowly missing a plate of greasy sausage. The letters were from Slughorn cordially inviting them to a dinner party the first weekend of November. "I really don't want to go to class today," Sirius said, staring at the back wall though didn't seem to be really looking at anything.

"You can't just skive off lessons," Peter protested. "They'll find you wherever you hide."

"I wouldn't suggest pretending to be sick either. Unless you like the idea of spending the day with Snape," Remus added, sympathetically.

"We could spend the day in Moony's dog house," James suggested, putting his and Sirius's letters into his rucksack.

"Did you just call the shack I change in the dog house?" Remus asked, halting in bringing his bag over his shoulder.

"It's a code name Professor Moony, don't give me a detention," James smirked but Remus still glared at him. "Unless you want everyone to know where you transform into a w-"

"Shut up," Remus ordered through clenched teeth, dragging a hand over his face. "We can't spend the day there, all the professors know about it."

"Ah, but they don't know that we know so they won't suspect," James returned, tapping the side his nose and pushing Sirius out of his seat. Remus opened his mouth to protest further but all of his friends were already making their way out of the Great Hall.

"Fine," he muttered. "As long as we don't spend the whole day there!" Remus ran to catch up with them. "Were the boils your fault?" he asked, curiously.

James looked at Sirius instead of answering.

"As far as I know, that is what happens when you put Blubadox powder in someone's robes," Sirius said matter-of-factly.

"Merlin," James grinned throwing an arm over Sirius's shoulders, "we really are brilliant."

"Brilliant and daft," Remus said. "We cannot skip an entire day of lessons without repercussions."

"We're doing fine in our classes, Moony." James sang, leading them up the stone steps back to Gryffindor tower.

"Besides today's necessary," Sirius argued, following James.

"Right, we've got pranks to plan," Peter agreed, taking the last bite of the toast he had brought with him.

"And a map to finish," Sirius added with a wink.

"And general mischief to manage," James smirked. "We can call it our Break the Rules Day or… Sirius?"

"It's our fuck it day," Sirius said decidedly.

"How 'bout Shenanigans Day, in honour of McGonagall," Peter offered.

"How 'bout the day we get into so much trouble just because Sirius doesn't want to go to class?" Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"Doesn't have that ring to it," James replied. "What was it that Wilkes said last year… something about us owning Hogwarts?"

"He said we acted like we owned Hogwarts," Sirius answered obviously and gave the fat lady the password.

"No, he used a word, a good one, that would work perfectly," James said, thinking himself into a headache.

"Are you really trying to name today after your slacking off?" Remus asked in exasperation.

"It was a good word Moony!" James grinned. "Anyway, you and Sirius should go get food so we don't have to come back for lunch. And remember-"

"-don't get caught! Thanks, Mum," Sirius said, pulling Remus out of the portrait hole before he could protest further.

"Oy!" James yelled, clearly affronted.

"She's not my mum, she's my mother," Sirius reassured from over his shoulder just before he disappeared from sight.

Remus's 'dog house' was a small, dingy, old two story house. The windows were boarded and broken, most of the furniture was marked with claws and teeth as was the floor and walls. The room they were in had a four poster bed, not unlike the ones in their dormitory, on which they were all sitting ignoring the groan of the springs. The door was severely beaten where it had been repeatedly fixed with magic after Remus's wolf broke it down in attempts to escape the house. The room contained the only window that was not broken and was boarded up in a strategic way so the light would stream into the room. Crumpled up bits of parchment were thrown aimlessly about the room, as they tried to perfect their Halloween prank. Their rucksacks full of food or potentially useful book were placed against the nearest wall.

They sat with their map of Hogwarts between them, screwing up their eyes in concentration, or daring one of the others to try an oddly coloured Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Bean. Their robes were all but removed in the rising humidity (James's hair, in particular, was reacting horribly to the condition.) They were all thoroughly stumped when it came to the Slytherin prank.

"We could set their alarm clocks all to the same time and hide them or disillusion them or something," Peter offered.

"Nah, too much work," James grumbled, sniffing a bean that seemed to be vomit flavoured.

"We wouldn't be able to get into the girl's dormitory anyway," Remus added, flipping through Extreme Incantations by Violeta Stitch.

"What if we put a Doubling Charm on just one alarm clock?" Sirius suggested, snatching a bean from James.

"So the poor bloke goes to turn off his alarm and ends up with four," James laughed.

"Yeah, mate, that spell is hypersensitive. Like the air blows wrong and the next thing you know your rooms full of whatever, alarm clocks," Sirius said, perking up now that they seemed to have a real plan.

"That still wouldn't work with the girls. We'd have to do something in their common room, like a cushion or something," Remus said.

"We could find a way to take down the wards," James protested.

"Or get a girl to go in for us," Sirius rolled his eyes, "It's not like we have one of those lying around."

"She agreed to help with the Death Eaters, not pranking the school," Remus argued, briefly looking up from his book. "Just use a cushion."

"No, it wouldn't be as funny," Peter said.

"Eilidh will help, she has a sense of humour," Sirius said, throwing a bean at Remus's chest.

"Yeah, Moony stop being so grumpy," James scolded, playfully.

"Fine, but none of you are good at riddles," Remus said, flicking the bean off of him.

"Huh?"

Remus huffed and laid the book out on his chest so he wouldn't lose his page.

"Yesterday, we said that I would be doing the haunted house in the Hufflepuff's common room leaving one of you to the Ravenclaw's with the dung bombs. None of you are good at riddles and that's how you get passed their door," he told them.

"Are you any good at riddles?" Peter asked what he seemed to be the obvious question.

"I'm alright but-"

"So I'll take Hufflepuff," James decided.

"And I'll take Slytherin," Sirius said before Peter could call it.

"But- I'll help James," Peter said, glaring dumbly at Sirius.

"No Pete, we need someone in point position," Remus argued.

"B- couldn't we just irritate Peeves for that," Peter fired, sounding more than a little annoyed.

"He goes too far when we leave him angry and unsupervised," James said matter of factly, popping another bean in his mouth.

"Fine," Peter grumbled, trying not to look too put out.

"Great. Now, what about the Slug Club?" Sirius digressed receiving collective groans from his friends.

"I swear if I have to think for another minute my head will explode!" Peter groaned, throwing himself back onto the pillows at the head of the bed.

"You would know best how to prank a bunch of rich people," Remus said slyly, returning to his book.

"With peasants," James said, seriously.

"And cheap wine," Sirius smirked.

When it came to the Slug Club inspiration seemed to fail them. Everything they came up with, as a joke or otherwise, was either "too boring" or "missing something" or just didn't fit. In a fruitless hope that a change of scenery would spark something in them, they ate their lunch traipsing through the outskirts of Hogsmeade village under James's Invisibility Cloak (until they realised that no one was paying attention - the cloak was discarded.)

With full stomachs and a need for warmth, they returned to their smouldering room in the Shack. They tried to think of something, anything, to do with the Slug Club for hours but they ended up pacing around the room, staring blankly at the wall, lying flat on their back imagining shapes out of the pattern on the ceiling, or rolling moth balls up and down the length of the room. Nothing was as good as their Billywig idea. Unfortunately, Billywigs were nearly extinct and only found in Australia and smuggling one into Hogwarts was too complicated for the end results even when they took into consideration that they'd be using it for Sirius's cat killing cousin.

Abandoning whatever hope they had left thirty minutes into what would have been their final class (double Potions) they cautiously headed to the Three Broomsticks wondering if Madam Rosmerta would have any qualms about serving underage wizards who were supposed to be in school.

She did, at first, have such a problem with it the boys were actually afraid she would literally throw them out but then they made her laugh. Actually, it started with an odd half-smile contorted with her aggressive scowl but Sirius was able to charm her into a grinning "Oh, all right. Just one butterbeer before you go." In the end, they had her in stitches, clutching her sides and laughing so hard she was in tears. Darling Madam Rosmerta sent them home with an entire pack of Butterbeer and a warning not to return by way of the front gate. Of course, they didn't really need the warning.

They snuck back in through the Whomping Willow. James peaked his head through the opening in the roots under his cloak as it was very important to keep the passageway a secret before exiting fully and allowing the rest to follow. They strolled through the castle trying to hide the fact that they hadn't spent the day in drafty corridors and dull classes. It was on their way back to Gryffindor Tower that they saw Lily and Eilidh coming out of the Hospital Wing.

"Fancy running into you here," James grinned, ran a hand through his hair, and leant against the wall stuffing his hands into his pocket in what he was sure was a cool way.

"Yes, especially considering we haven't seen you all day," Lily said suspiciously after recovering from her initial surprise. Eilidh merely sent the other three a significant look.

"Aw, you missed me," James smirked. He remembered the event in the Great Hall quite well (in fact his cheek still stung a little) and he was sure that she hadn't missed him at all but he also knew that the comment would infuriate her.

She did indeed flush a beautiful shade of scarlet but instead of glaring at him and stepping up to him invading his personal space (an act that was more than welcome) she broke eye contact and bit her lip.

"No," she muttered, "but I was looking for you. I wanted to apologise for this morning. I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions, especially when Severus doesn't even know what happened."

"Er." Guilt. That unpleasant feeling seemed to want to drown him at that moment. He couldn't accept her apology, he had no right. It should be the other way around but he couldn't just tell her the truth especially when things were going so well. She wasn't mad at him. She was talking to him. Pull a Sirius and deflect it. "How do you feel about pranks?"

"Wait, was it you. Please do not tell me it was you," Lily implored.

Abort. Mission Abort!

"I- that's not - I was trying to change the subject!" James stuttered. He couldn't see it but he knew Sirius had that dumbass smirk on his face. "Shut up, Sirius."

"I didn't say anything!" he responded, sounding shocked and rightly so.

"I can hear your thoughts!" James declared, knowing he sounded completely bat-shit crazy but he'd do just about anything to distract Lily from the questions zooming about her mind.

"Eilidh, do you know anything about…." Lily turned her accusatory glare to her completely innocent friend. Eilidh glanced over him once as if trying to determine if he were innocent or not. Strangely he felt as if she could really see through him.

"None of us knew anything about Severus being in the hospital. We were genuinely surprised to hear the news," she said, evasively but effectively.

Lily nodded and turned back toward him, her expression relaxed. A moment's silence fell in which James was, for once, at a loss for words.

"Lily does like pranks by the way," Eilidh said finally.

"When they're practical and enjoyable for both parties," Lily agreed though somewhat defensively.

"It was her idea to give Malfoy a hair loss potion," Eilidh told them.

"That was you guys!" Sirius exclaimed, his eyebrows nearly reaching his hairline.

"Honestly Black, its like you don't know us at all," Lily rolled her eyes, trying to look irritated but there was an undeniable smirk on her face.

"We could use your brilliance, Lily," Remus said with a kind smile. James grinned. Coercion was what Remus was best at.

"We've been planning a few pranks and need a little help," Peter explained, trying his best not to sound too giddy.

"Need is a strong word," Sirius said in an attempt to smooth over Peter's obvious desperation.

"We need your help," James stated. It seemed that desperation would be in their favour in this instance.

Lily and Eilidh looked at each other for a moment. Lily seemed reluctant, while Eilidh seemed to be asking permission.

"I'm in," Eilidh shrugged, hiding her flare of sudden excitement.

"W- we don't know anything about this!" Lily argued. Turning to them she added gently, "and I'm sorry but I've seen your track record and I don't want to be expelled."

"Don't be ridiculous Evans, we wouldn't get you expelled," Sirius said, appalled.

"It's a prank on the entire school. We need your Muggle expertise and your gender to pull it off," James explained.

"Our gender?" Lily asked, sounding sceptical.

"We live in a sexist society, what can I say?" James shrugged.

"If it's for the entire school, they'll want to prank the girls too," Eilidh told her, throwing caution to the wind in letting her mischievous grin show.

"Y- you mean you're breaking into other houses," she whispered, her eyes darting around the corridor looking for eavesdroppers.

"Yes," James said though it sounded more like a question. Lily looked at him then looked back down the still empty corridor, thinking. All eyes were on her as they waited. "I swear no one will get hurt," he whispered, leaning in so she could hear.

Lily looked at him, took a deep breath, and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay, you're in?" James asked, excitedly. He tried not to show it but he simply could not help it.

"Yes, I'm in. Could you not announce it to the world?" Lily smiled. Genuinely. Again. Three days in a row he got her to smile at him and not try to hide it.

"Excellent."

***Thank you, GrangerPotterWeaslyMalfoy, for letting me know that you liked my story :D and enough to binge! Ah, I'm so glad you liked it and hope you continue to XO

J, thank you. I was actually beginning to wonder if I was getting too random so thank you. Inkwing has to be some kind of black bird so a raven or a crow or a starling. I don't know my birds very well but if I got it wrong you should post it anyway! It's a great way to develop your writing skills and it's just fun. I wouldn't worry about it being cliche, it's done so often for a reason, right? :D XO

***Thank you all who have favourited, and/or followed. I get a little thrill whenever I get those notifications. If you haven't shared already I'd love to hear what you think.

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