"What?" Sam gasped in shock, wide eyes closely watching his distressed brother as if the older man were about to drop dead right then and there.

Had his brother and Cas been keeping something from him? They had assured him that Dean carrying angel babies wasn't going to harm him, that Cas's grace was helping things along, but Dean was human and carrying three celestial offspring. And he was male. Was this pregnancy going to kill him?

"I'm gonna die," Dean repeated, breath hitching as tears slid down his face. He immediately ducked his head so Sam couldn't see him cry.

A flutter of wings announced Castiel's presence a split second before he appeared. The angel seemed to only have eyes for Dean, immediately kneeling beside Dean's chair, one hand going to his back and rubbing soothing circles while the other covered one of Dean's, still resting on his belly. He ducked his head to put himself in Dean's line of sight, trying to get the hunter to look at him.

"Dean, sweetheart, I could feel your distress across the bunker. What's gotten you so upset?" he coaxed, deep voice low and gentle.

Dean shook his head, squeezing his eyes shut tightly so he didn't have to see the worry on his angel's face. His breath hitched a few more times as he fought back the urge to sob openly.

"Sam?" Castiel demanded, turning to the younger Winchester. "What happened?"

Sam shook his head, not entirely sure. They had been having a seemingly normal conversation until Dean had blurted out that he was going to die. Sam had no idea how his brother came upon that conclusion. The best he could do was explain their conversation to Cas and let the angel figure it out. When Sam got to the end, Dean was fully sobbing, the hand that had been covered by Castiel's now gripping it tightly.

"Dean," Castiel said softly. "I promise, carrying our children isn't going to kill you if that's what's got you so worried. You're perfectly safe."

Dean shook his head. "Not that," he whispered gruffly between hitching breaths as he tried to stop crying.

"Then what is it?" Castiel pressed, no less patient with his distressed boyfriend than when he arrived despite the worry filling his gaze and turning his mouth into a frown. "Why do you think you're going to die?"

"Because I am!" Dean cried, finally meeting Castiel's eyes with a glare. "I'm human, Cas! If I get lucky and a hunt doesn't end me, I'll get old and die! And you're an angel – practically immortal – and I'm inclined to think our kids will either be immortal or live longer than a human because of their angelic half I'm almost forty; if I'm lucky, I got maybe another forty or fifty years left, and the quality of those years just goes downhill the older you get. So, I won't get to see very much of our kids' lives, and then what? I'll be salted and burned – because you know that's what I'd want – alone in whatever afterlife I get, and I gotta say, I don't think I'd be happy spending eternity in Heaven. Especially without you. I don't want to spend forever without you and the kids." After his rant, Dean dissolved into sobs once more, crying harder than he had so far, giving up all pretense of being okay.

"Oh, Dean," Castiel sighed, rising enough to allow Dean to bury his face into the angel's shoulder as he wrapped his arms around his hunter. He felt Dean do the same, clinging to him as he sobbed. His heart broke at hearing the despair in the way his boyfriend spoke and the way Dean Winchester, one of the strongest humans the angel knew, felt so much pain that he couldn't even pretend to be okay as he usually would.

The angel turned worried eyes to the other hunter in the room, but Sam looked just as lost, staring in shock at his distraught brother. What could they say? Nothing they knew of could make Dean immortal short of turning him into a vampire or other monster that lived forever, and none of them were stupid enough to do that. Sam could point out his own mortality, but that would likely remind his brother that, when they were gone, Cas and the triplets would only have each other. They had very few friends left, and the few they had were all human and would die, too.

"Dean?" Cas called gently as the hunter's sobs tapered off, leaving a weary Winchester resting against his shoulder. "Do you regret our choice to have children? Because you won't get to see them grow?"

"What?!" gasped Dean, jerking away from the angel enough to see his face, his own expression filled with horror. "No! Of course not, Cas! I still love them, and I'll still love them for however long I get to watch them grow! I would never wish they didn't exist. This was always going to be an issue with us though," he admitted. "I'm human; you're not. I'll die; you won't. Eventually, we'd have realized we don't get a forever, Cas." As he spoke, his mood shifted from surprised to depressed once more, and he gently extricated himself from the angel's hold to push himself to his feet. As Cas tried helping him stand, Dean pushed him away.

"Dean-"

"I'm tired," Dean mumbled, slowly making his way out of the library. "I'm going to go lie down."

Castiel sighed as he dropped into a chair beside Sam, staring sadly at the exit where Dean just disappeared. "What do I do, Sam? I can't fix this like when he's hungry, or when his back hurts, or when he wants something moved. I can't make Dean live longer."

"I know, Cas," Sam said softly, reaching out to clasp his friend on the shoulder. "This may not be something we can fix."

"It isn't fair," the angel growled, tensing under Sam's touch though the hunter didn't remove his hand. "Angels were made to follow orders; we weren't supposed to have free will or to have emotion. And I don't regret choosing humanity over Heaven – I love Dean, and I care very much for you, Sam. But why was it a human I fell in love with when it could never last? The time I will have with you and Dean is merely a blink in my very long existence, and then you will both be gone. I will have our children, and I will love them with everything that I am, but as Dean said, I don't know if they will truly be immortal, or if they will one day die, too. And then what? Then I will be just as alone as before I met you both, and… I don't want to live forever if it means not having anyone again."

Sam blinked back tears and cleared his throat when the emotion in Castiel's voice after seeing his brother so upset over the same thing threatened to send him into tears as well. "Cas-" He swallowed again and lifted a hand to wipe at his eyes. "Cas, there has to be some way to change that. I mean, I get that your dad hasn't been around for a very long time, but I can't believe that He wouldn't be watching over everyone."

"If God were watching, He would have come down to kill my children the moment they were conceived," Cas growled, shrugging Sam's hand away. "I suppose, for once, it's a good thing Father stopped caring about everything He created," he said bitterly before standing and striding from the room. Sam heard the angel's steps ascending the stairs then the creak and slam of the front door being open then shut again.

He sighed, shoulders slumping, as he was left alone in the library. With one errant thought, his family was hurting. And Sam couldn't fix it this time. As far as he could see, the only thing that would fix this would be to make Dean an angel so he could spend forever with Castiel and their children. But that was impossible, and if there was a way hidden somewhere in all the books surrounding him, it probably was untested, and he wouldn't risk Dean's life on a spell or ritual that might work.

Thinking of spells, the next possibility that came to Sam were witches, but he quickly dismissed that line of thought as well. Asking a witch meant a high price in exchange. And any spells they could have that might work would be dark magic. Who knows how that kind of spell would affect Dean?

With a defeated sigh, he tugged his notes on the bunker's security closer, intending to figure out as much as he could about how it worked so he and Charlie could replicate it in a house. Because Sam would figure this out, and they would get their happily ever after in a real home. For as long as he and Dean were around, Sam would make sure the triplets didn't grow up on the road like they had.

He was jerked from his research some time later by loud banging on the front door. He pulled his gun from the waistband of his jeans as he slowly rose to his feet. The knocking persisted, so he crept through the foyer toward the stairs.

"Sam, it's me!"

"Charlie?" he said aloud, quickly pushing his gun back into his jeans and jogging up the stairs to open the door for her.

"What's up?" the redhead greeted with a grin, standing on her tiptoes and unceremoniously throwing her arms around Sam's neck.

"Hey," Sam sighed in relief as he hugged her back. "You made it."

"Thanks for letting me crash here for a while," she said as she pulled away, hefting her duffel up onto her shoulder and brushing past Sam to enter the bunker. She whistled as she looked down from the balcony. "That is never not gonna be an awesome view."

Sam chuckled as he closed the door and followed her in. "Dean's asleep, so I don't know if you want to freshen up since he's not around to explain why we needed your help, or we could start, and you can just trust that we'll explain it when he's ready."

"And why does Dean need to be around?" Charlie asked in clear confusion as they descended the stairs. "Can't you do it?"

"Trust me, you'll want Dean," Sam said cryptically. "But he wasn't feeling well, so he's resting."

"Well, give me a cup of coffee, and I'm good to get started," Charlie said, plopping her duffel bag onto one of the library tables with finality. "Laptop's in here in case we need it, but I don't even know what the heck we're doing, so…"

"I suppose I can tell you most of this without Dean," Sam hedged, sitting on the edge of the table across from where Charlie stood. "It might not make sense, but it will, promise."

At her nod, Sam launched into his requests to replicate the bunker's security, wipe them from the FBI's database, and find a way to wire them enough cash to buy a house without raising suspicion. He left out the part about how they wanted those things because Dean was pregnant with babies that they wanted to be protected but not hunting.

"The money is no big deal; the FBI thing is a little trickier, but I think I can do it; the bunker stuff… That's mixing tech and magic – granted, nineteen-fifties tech which should be easier to crack – so it might take time," Charlie explained. "But why do you want to buy and ward a house when you got this awesome Batcave?"

"That's the part that Dean needs to explain to you," Sam said with an apologetic smile. And we've got time, so no big deal if you can't crack the security thing right away." By his calculations, they had about five months, maybe four, until the triplets were born, but they didn't need to leave the bunker right away. They had set up spaces for the triplets who wouldn't outgrow them for a year or two.

"Okay," Charlie said, clapping her hands and rubbing them together. "What do we start with first? Easy and quick or the hard one?"

"Hard one," Sam answered. They wouldn't need the other two if they couldn't replicate the bunker's warding.

"Got it. Show me how it all works, and I'll see what I can do!"

Dean groaned as he wiggled to the edge of the bed and into a sitting position, rubbing his eyes. The nap he'd taken had helped emotionally – he didn't feel like he was going to burst into tears though the thought of his mortality still made him depressed – but lying in one place did little for him physically. He ached. Everywhere. It hadn't escaped his notice that Cas hadn't come to rest with him though he realized he hadn't given the angel much choice with the way he'd left them.

Hoping his boyfriend was still in the library with Sam, Dean pushed himself to his feet, one hand supporting his belly, and shuffled down the hall toward the library. As he neared the room, he heard Sam talking to someone, but the responding voice was definitely not his boyfriend.

Charlie!

She couldn't see him like this yet! Not if Sam hadn't explained everything to her, and Dean couldn't know that without talking to Sam who was currently with Charlie in the library who couldn't see him yet, and-

"Sam," Dean called, hoping to alert his brother that he was awake without gaining Charlie's attention, too.

A few seconds later, Sam jogged out of the library sans Charlie.

"You're awake," he said, smiling fondly. "Feeling better?"

Dean shrugged, ignoring the question. "Charlie's here," he said.

Sam nodded. "Yeah, I told her what we needed, but I haven't told her why. We've been working on trying to replicate the bunker security."

"And?"

Sam sighed and shook his head. "Nothing yet. But this part is the complex part, and we've got time."

Dean sighed, trying not to be disappointed. Of course, he knew this wasn't going to be an easy fix; that didn't mean they'd never get a proper home. And Sam was right – the triplets weren't due for another four or five months, and they'd be too little to understand anything around the bunker for awhile anyway. "Go tell her; call me when you need me to make my grand entrance," he said with a grin.

Sam rolled his eyes, but turned and reentered the library.

"Where's Dean?" the hunter in question heard their tech friend ask.

"He's out there still," Sam said. "Listen, you know how I said Dean should be the one to explain why we needed your help?" Silence in which Dean assumed Charlie was nodding. "Well, it's because you kind of have to see him to believe me when I tell you that we need your help because he's… kind of pregnant with angelic eggs that will hatch into triplets that we don't want hunting and the bunker isn't safe for kids anyway, you know?"

"Sam, stop a second," Charlie said. "You lost me at Dean is pregnant?"

Dean heard Sam sigh then call, "Dean?"

Taking a deep breath to brace himself and keeping one hand under his belly, Dean slowly stepped into the library's entrance and up the few steps. He watched Charlie closely, seeing her eyes widen and lock onto his belly, her lips part in shock as she gasped, then her eyes flick to his face then Sam's.

"You… You were serious," she whispered.

Dean nodded, stepping further into the room. "You can feel it if you want to though there's not much to feel. Even if they were active at the moment – which they're not – they can't be felt from the outside."

Charlie continued to stare at his belly as she took a few tentative steps forward, a hand held toward his middle. She stopped inches from making contact, looked up at him for a second, then slowly laid her palm against his belly until it followed the contour of the slope.

"Holy freaking Batman," she whispered. "This is really real… warm and soft-but-kinda-firm and not squishy like I imagine fake bellies are for movies and stuff, but then again, how would I know?" she rambled before cutting herself off with an audible swallow, lifting her eyes to meet Dean's without removing her hand.

The hunter's lip twitched in a small smile as he pressed his palms into his aching back. "Really real," he confirmed. "You good? Not gonna pass out on us, are you? 'Cause, you know I love you like the sister I never had, but I can't catch you right now."

"No, no, not passing out. Though I should probably stop, um…" She retracted her hand and took a step back. "You look like you wanna sit down, so…"

"Not gonna lie, that sounds like a damn good idea," Dean agreed, moving to one of the chairs at the table on which the other two had set up their things. He carefully lowered himself into it then looked around once he was settled. "Hey, where's Cas?"

"After you went to lie down, he went out," Sam said. "No idea where, but he seemed like he needed his space, too. He seemed kind of upset after you left."

"Upset how?" Dean asked.

Sam shrugged. "Like it had finally hit him that you're mortal and he's not."

Cas, Dean mentally sighed. You better not be doing something stupid.

As soon as Castiel was outside the bunker's warding, he spread his wings and took flight. He didn't have any particular destination in mind, but after Dean's confession, the angel felt as if he'd been doused with cold water, and just needed time alone to think. He supposed, on some subconscious level, he had known he would outlive Dean, but it had never quite hit him as it had just then. And maybe it was better to think about it now that they were having children. The triplets could keep him company for as long as they lived, whether it was forever like Castiel, or hundreds of years, doomed to die because of their human parent.

But, deep down, Castiel knew having the triplets wouldn't be the same as having Dean at his side.

The thought of living any amount of time without his hunter had the angel's heart breaking in his chest, and his flight faltered. He found himself landing on the edge of a wide river surrounded by trees on either side. The hushed sound of gently moving water calmed him though it didn't completely erase the hurt.

Castiel took a few tentative steps toward the water then crouched down at its edge, staring at his reflection in the gently moving water. An aged face with crow's feet, pinched brow, and prominent frown stared back at him. As long as Castiel, an angel, inhabited this body, it couldn't age. And yet, somehow, Castiel's face seemed to show every one of the ten years that had passed since Jimmy Novak said "yes." He realized it was probably the stress of his life – Apocalypse I and II, both averted; the war in Heaven; Leviathans wearing it down; the time he spent as a human.

Even grace could only do so much.

"I suppose I match Dean now," he said to his reflection. Though Jimmy had only been five years older than Dean, so his body didn't have to age much to reach the hunter.

And as Castiel stared at his reflection, thoughts whirling and connecting, two things simultaneously made themselves known at the forefront of his brain:

He had been human once before.

And if he were human, he would age and die with Dean.

Rising from where he knelt by the river, Castiel sighed and looked toward the sky, knowing he had to call upon the one person that would either help him or kill his children. And if it came to the latter, Castiel would defend Dean and the triplets until his dying breath. For the first time in almost ten years, Castiel prayed.

"Father…"

AUTHOR'S NOTE: H'oh, boy, what's Cas up to?