Charlie was watching him.
Dean felt her eyes on him as the three of them researched, looking through the Men of Letters' journals for instructions or explanations of any kind on how they warded the bunker. Every few pages, he'd glance in her direction, catching her eye just before she dropped her gaze back to her own work. After an hour of this, he sighed and slammed his book shut which made the other two startle and stare at him with wide eyes.
"Okay, whatever your issue is, Charlie, spit it out," he growled. "You keep staring at me like I'm going to explode any second, and I promise, they ain't coming for a few more months."
Charlie blushed in embarrassment, ducking her head and pushing her short hair behind her ears. "I'm sorry," she mumbled.
Dean's expression softened, and he leaned over to wrap an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I didn't mean to snap at you. I'm sorry. But can you please tell me why you keep staring at me?"
"I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this," she admitted. "I mean, I can see it, I touched it, but… Dean, you're a guy! How the hell does this happen?"
"Cas," Dean said as if that explained everything, leaning back in his seat again. He didn't realize he'd started idly rubbing his belly until Charlie's gaze dropped to it, and he immediately stopped. "He, uh… When an angel reproduces-"
"Okay!" Sam interrupted, pushing himself to his feet. "I don't need to hear this. I'm gonna go make some coffee. Either of you want anything?"
When they shook their heads, Sam gratefully escaped into the kitchen.
"You were saying?" Charlie said with an amused smile.
Dean launched into the explanation of how angels reproduced with eggs that Cas had to deposit into him then "fertilize" with his own come – they'd both flushed as red as Charlie's hair through that, but he'd tried to be as clean about the explanation as he could. He explained how they grew their own bodies in their eggs because of their human sides from him, negating the need to find vessels or live in Heaven as soon as they were born. When the topic of Heaven came up, he explained how what they were – warning her never to use that word around Cas, to call them "fledglings" instead – was illegal, and the ones that had lived so long ago had been bad, but his kids were going to be good.
She asked him about their names, so he listed off the names they came up with, the redhead writing them down as he did then making several different pairs with the names. Curious, Dean had leaned over to read what she'd written down, noticing she was trying to form first and middle name combinations. Some sounded pretty good, so he asked to have the page when she was finished. He and Cas could look over them. Though they still didn't know what genders the triplets would be, they did need middle names, and Charlie had given them a good start.
Sam eventually returned with his coffee and joined the conversation. The more the three of them talked, the more relaxed Charlie became. Conversely, the longer they sat there, the more uncomfortable Dean became. His back and hips were aching again by now, and he wanted Cas to come home so the angel could ease the pain.
As if on cue, the bunker door squeaked open, and the angel descended the stairs.
"Cas?" Dean called, pushing himself to his feet with a little difficulty; Charlie stood and helped him up which he hated to admit he was grateful for. He met the angel in the middle of the war room, pressing his hands into his lower back and resisting the urge to rub at his hips. "Where did you go?"
"I, um, needed time alone, and went on a flight. I'm sorry if I worried you," the angel said.
"Is everything okay?" Dean asked, slipping his arms up around his boyfriend's shoulders and leaning into him when the angel wrapped his own arms around the hunter.
"Everything is fine, Dean," Cas promised, beginning to knead the muscles in the pregnant man's back which made Dean groan appreciatively. "Are you in pain?"
Dean nodded against the angel's shoulder. "Sat too long in the library."
"Have you found a way to replicate the bunker's warding?" Cas asked, looking to Sam and Charlie standing in the library doorway, watching the angel and hunter.
"Not yet," Charlie admitted. "But I did notice there are specific warding symbols in different places in this room alone. I did some digging in a few books, and I think they keep anything from just popping in here."
"That sounds right," Cas agreed. "I cannot just fly into the bunker. I must land outside."
Dean snorted in amusement where he'd nuzzled into his boyfriend's neck, relaxed now that the angel had used some of his grace to ease the aches in his body. "Yeah, Cas has to use the door like the rest of us."
"Anyway," Charlie continued, "I'm thinking that if we incorporate those symbols into the protection you want on a home, it could help."
"You mean like putting together our own security system with our own spells?" Sam asked.
Charlie nodded. "Yeah, exactly. I still have to look at the tech this place uses, but the magical part shouldn't be too hard to copy."
Before anyone could say anything more, pounding on the door echoed through the open space. All four pairs of eyes snapped up to the balcony, waiting for someone to burst into the room. When the pounding repeated, Sam slowly removed the gun taped under the map table and slowly climbed the stairs. When he pulled the creaky door open, all four of them gasped at the person standing there.
"Chuck?" Dean said in surprise and shifted he and Cas so that the angel blocked him from view, unsure how the former prophet would react to seeing a pregnant male hunter.
"Hey, guys," Chuck said with a sheepish smile as he stepped into the bunker.
"Ah, Chuck," Sam said, lowering his gun. "What are you doing here? How are you here? We thought you were dead. And how did you know where we were?"
"Cas called me," Chuck said, looking over the railing down at the angel.
"No, I didn't," Cas countered, brow furrowing in confusion.
The former prophet chuckled and reached into his jacket pocket. "I suppose this might help."
"I threw that away," Dean said in disbelief when he saw the amulet the prophet dangled from his fingers.
"And I knew you'd need it someday, so I rescued it," Chuck explained. Then he snapped his fingers, and the amulet began to glow.
"Father," Castiel whispered in awe then his stance became defensive in front of his hunter.
"Cas," Dean growled. "What did he mean you called him? Did you pray to God?!"
"God?" Charlie squeaked from her place behind Dean and Castiel.
"Hi," Chuck said shyly, waving a hand. "Chuck is fine though."
"I… I thought he could help," Cas explained to Dean's question. "But he never showed."
Chuck snapped his fingers, and the amulet stopped glowing. In the next second, he stood before the couple, the sudden appearance causing Castiel to release his angel blade into his palm, waiting for an attack.
"Relax, Castiel," Chuck said calmly. "I'm not going to hurt your kids."
"You know about them?" Sam asked, descending the stairs to join them.
"Of course. They are part angel. I sensed them the moment they were conceived," Chuck explained.
"First you tell me that dudes can get pregnant with angel children and now I'm meeting God," Charlie mumbled, sinking down onto the library steps. "Wait, you don't care that I'm-"
"Gay?" Chuck supplied knowingly then shook his head. "Nope. Contrary to what people say I think, I don't care about sexuality. I made humans as they are; I can't start condemning some of my children because they love the same gender."
Charlie nodded, still stunned. "Oh. Cool."
"Look, Chuck," Dean interrupted, glaring at the man over Cas's shoulder. "I'm glad you don't care that Charlie's gay, or that I'm carrying illegal angel babies-"
"Oh, they're not illegal," Chuck said. "I wiped out the others all those centuries ago because they were a failed race. I let them be born because I wanted to see what the offspring of my two best species would be like, but they learned to be hateful to the humans that carried them, thinking they were superior because of their angelic parentage. The angels that fathered them didn't care about the humans I meant for them to serve, thinking them beneath angelkind. When those beliefs corrupted their children who were powerful enough to wipe out one of the creations I loved, I ended them."
"Then what's to stop you from 'ending' my kids?" Dean snarled.
"Because they're yours," Chuck said as if that explained it all. "Their angel parent is an angel that rebelled against what he'd been told, knowing his brothers and sisters in Heaven are wrong, and choosing humanity over Heaven, just as I'd wanted. Their human parent can teach them about free will, but also that having free will does not mean harming others."
"So… you're going to let the triplets live?" Sam asked.
Chuck nodded. "After everything you've all done for me, for the world, you deserve a happy ending. For Dean and Castiel, that includes children. I don't expect you all to stop hunting completely, of course. Even to start a family. I know it's who you are. And I appreciate that you keep people safe."
With God's word that his kids were safe, Dean slowly stepped out from behind Castiel. Chuck's gaze didn't even drop down to his belly, the prophet smiling non-threateningly at the hunter. The angel slowly retracted his blade and let his posture relax now that he knew his mate and children weren't in danger.
"If you're not here to kill my kids, why are you here?" Dean asked.
"As I said, Castiel called me," Chuck repeated, nodding to the angel. "He had a particular request. And I didn't think it was something I should answer without seeing the rest of you first."
Dean turned Castiel who had averted his gaze. "Cas? What did you ask God for?"
Cas opened and closed his mouth a couple of times then cleared his throat. "I… I asked Him to make me human."
"You did what?!" Dean cried, joined in by Sam's protests. "Why would you do that?!"
"Because you'll die!" Cas countered, glaring at his boyfriend. "You'll die, and I'll be left alone forever! If I'm human, we'll spend forever together in Heaven after we die."
All Dean could manage around the lump forming in his throat at the thought of his angel not existing anymore was a broken, whispered "Cas…"
"Guys," Chuck said, barely above a whisper himself. "Castiel's request comes from the belief that Dean and the triplets are going to die someday. First, I can tell you that the triplets' grace will keep them from dying. Second, as for being separated because Dean is mortal, I will solve that problem, too. Not by answering Castiel's request to become human!" he quickly added when Sam and Dean began to protest. "Instead of Castiel dying a human death, I'm going to give Dean an angel's life."
Dean stared at Chuck for several seconds, unsure he'd heard correctly. When his brain assured him that, yes, that's what Chuck had said, he couldn't believe that's what had been offered. "Why?" he whispered. "Why would you want me to be an angel?"
"Is that even possible?" asked Sam.
"Theoretically," Chuck said with a shrug. "An angel's grace and a human soul were created from basically the same stuff. I think, if I can alter your soul enough, I can turn it into your own grace. But this has never been done before, so I don't know the risks. I certainly will not try it until after you've given birth."
"But why?" Dean repeated.
"Because you've done so much for this world when all I did was stick my head in the sand and hope it all worked out. You're a good man, Dean. I want to give you your happy ending. And the way I see it, that happy ending is living forever with your angel and kids. Not sitting around some little bubble of Heaven drinking beer. But like I said, I'm not going to put you through it until the triplets are born. I don't know what it could do to them. So you have until then to decide. If you'd rather Cas become human, I'll take his grace. If you decide that the way you're going now is best, I'll respect your decision. You know how to reach me. I'll be listening."
"Wait," Charlie said before he could leave. "I think, either way they choose to spend the rest of their lives, the plan for the immediate future is a house. A house for hunters and angels means protection. Do you have any idea how to copy the bunker's security?"
Chuck smiled apologetically and shook his head. "No, sorry. I never got technology, and magic was never my strong area."
"But you created everything," Dean countered.
"That's a different kind of magic. The stuff that you guys use completely baffles me. But I have faith in you; you'll get there," Chuck said with a warm smile.
"Can you tell us what they are?" Dean asked as Chuck turned away, intending to leave.
Again, God shook his head. "No. That's not something we can sense through grace – angels generally being genderless and all. And I don't have x-ray vision to see inside their eggs. Sorry."
With that, Chuck climbed the stairs, and the creak and bang of the door opening and closing echoed in the quiet room. The four of them looked between themselves in shock. Finally, Dean cleared his throat, locking his eyes on his angel though he spoke to the other two.
"You two keep looking," he said. "I think Cas and I need to talk."
"Why would you risk it?" Dean growled, pacing their room while Castiel sat calmly on the bed. "I mean, you told me they were illegal, and yet you called God, knowing He might kill our kids!"
"I was prepared to fight if that's what He chose," Cas countered calmly.
"That's not the point!" Dean cried, throwing his hands up in exasperation. "You did something big without talking to me again! We're a team, Cas! You gotta trust me to talk to me about shit like this!"
"Of course I trust you," Castiel said.
"Then we need to talk about this stuff! We can't go making decisions about things on our own. Especially when it can affect our kids," the hunter said more calmly, finally standing still now that his anger was cooling.
"I'm sorry, Dean. "What do you think we should do?"
Dean sighed and lowered himself onto the bed beside the angel, not missing the way Castiel supported him on his way down. "I don't know. The idea of only getting to see a fraction of our kids' lives scares me, but so does the idea of God messing with my soul. You not being an angel is not an option. I refuse to let you die. I can't- I can't deal with the idea that you might not be here someday," he whispered, wiping at his eyes as they burned, trying to prevent tears from falling.
"Then that means we do nothing, and you die, or you become an angel. But, Dean, I am not afraid of death. Not if it means sharing Heaven with you," the angel said, clasping one of the hunter's hands in his.
"No, Cas," Dean said firmly. "That's not an option. Even if I got to see you in Heaven, I can't- The idea of you-" His breath hitched a few times, and he squeezed the angel's hand.
"Okay," Castiel said quietly, using his free hand to rub soothing circles into his distressed boyfriend's back. "Okay, Dean, we won't do that. But if I'm not allowed to die, you can't either. The thought of losing you hurts me, too."
Dean huffed an amused laugh through the emotion clogging his throat and nodded. "Then I guess we make me an angel."
"Are you sure that's what you want?" Castiel asked. "Father said He's never tried this before."
Dean nodded. "I'm sure. If I die… Well, I'm going to if we don't try this anyway, right? But you gotta promise me something."
"Anything."
"If it doesn't work, you're not allowed to fall. You don't get to die just to follow me to Heaven, you understand? You have to live, to stay with our kids," Dean said firmly, locking determined eyes on his angel while one hand splayed protectively across his belly.
Castiel swallowed a couple times and averted his gaze, clearly uneasy about making such a promise. "Dean-"
"No, Cas," Dean snapped. "They need one of us! If I die, you have to stay with them. Promise me!"
"Okay," the angel whispered, nodding. "Okay, I will. But you won't die. I won't let you."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: When did my light, fluffy "We're having a baby!" fic turn into such dark subject matter like death? I swear, the fluff is coming back! I still have an idea for something I think is pretty adorable.
Also, remember way back in chapter five when I said I had a friend commissioned to draw me some stuff? That's no longer happening… Not that I really need art anyway. None of my other fics have art.
Also, I signed up for this year's J2 Big Bang (first one ever!), so if updates take longer than usual (excluding the four month hiatus when I was moving and then got stuck), it's because I'm trying to finish that fic by May 1st. That's why it's been so long since I lasted updated this one, but I got stuck on my BB entry, and was in the mood for this one, so I wrote another chapter. Yay!
For anyone also following "Morning Gift," I have also started the next chapter of that finally! I've been rewatching Criminal Minds with a friend who's watching it for the first time (she loves MoReid, too!) and it's reawakening my CM muse, so I'm trying to update MG, too. Again, slow going because of my BB fic and because it's been awhile since I've written in that fandom and for that story, but I am working on it. :D