"But I think trials may also hold up the great advantage to give a plot a very concrete direction and a trial puts the focus much more on dialogues, in my opinion." Dialogue is actually why I hate writing trials so much. I very strongly prefer describing scenery and sensations to typing dialogue.

"Nope, no sympathy at all for her from my side. But that's because I see her as a kind of female version of Ozai." Yeah, she's not a great person at all, but she's still young, she has a chance to grow out of that, unlike Ozai.

"For myself it was difficult not to trigger my own rage to much by creating this kind of character, because I feared, I would loose the balance between the crime, I described in my story and my own loathing for these kind of actions." Tbh I feel like it's a good sign if the character you created is making you mad. It means you created a powerful enough character. "And yes same here about the survival stories. I could punch my wall every day, when I hear that is seems that people still need to have a discussion about the "question", if "No!" really means "No!". That's not even a bad joke anymore!" That's what I'm saying. Tbh I don't even know why matters like the manner of dress are even brought up when they are. What matters is that the person did not consent.

"Zuko has managed the first month. He is proud of it and he should be." Indeed, the man has a lot to be proud of, he's come a long way. "And it's comforting for him, that Iroh, Ursa and Azula are showing, that they are pround of him as well." The family support was very important. "Zuko has noticed, that Azula has changed a lot and he has specially noticed, that she didn't blamed him for his relapse."These revelations were very important. The siblings need each other and their mother. Iroh's help is always welcomed too. "It's also nice to see, that Iroh supports his try as well, to get a new connection with his sister and his mother." I can't see Iroh putting up a fight in terms of making good with family. "Don't get me wrong, I think he will stay clean, but the way addiction physicly and psychically changes a person is fundamental." An addiction is called such for a reason, that's for sure. There's always a chance and a fear of a relapse and that's scary. It's something that Zuko will have to learn to live with. In that way Zuko and Azula are somewhat the same; either one can relapse and it would be a hard hit. "In my opinion the strength and disciplin of a person, who's managing to fight this battle, couldn't be put high enough." I have a ton of respect for someone who fought hard to get clean/sober and is still holding things together.

"Azula has an idea, what strength is necessary to handle this task. Like she has noticed for herself, she is also struggling with herself. And like she also has noticed, her brother had less support than she has now." She's a strong girl, but her acceptance of the problem and then her acceptance of support is going to help her a lot. "I like the way her confidence is comming back to her and it's adorable." I'm so pleased to have finally written it back, I can't see Azula losing her quips for good. "How you let Teo give her the chances to explore this new sides and to make her feel comfortable with it. The wheelchair-quote of him was so funny. It's good and comforting for Azula, in my opinion, that he's able to make a joke about this." Dark humor is the one true coping mechanism lol. I feel like it's a good sign of healing when you're able to joke about the things that once hurt. It's especially important in this case, as it's a subtle reminder to Azula that no resentment lingers. "I' also a fan of, how careful and helpful Azula acts with him." She has a soft side to her. :P "He might not have thought about it, that she could feel uncomfortable about this, but I think he had decided to risk a bit." Yes, he didn't really consider that it might still be awkward for her but his heart was in the right place and it worked out. "It's so good, to see her smile again and to have a good time, to see her sharp mind and to have her sharp tongue back again." She needed a chance to really smile again. "Jets trial seemd to have shown him one thing for sure." It was an eye opener, he didn't want to end up like that. "But he is sure, that he's on the best way to get there. And now he's searching for the emergency break. To try to appologize and clean the air between Azula and him." He definitely saw that as his best option even if it really did look like he was just trying to avoid punishment. "I think Azula has noticed his intension and she believes him[...]but she has decided for herself to fight back." Yeah, she realized that he was being genuine but he put her through a lot so she's giving him a hard time. That's just an Azula thing." Usha, for sure, but Chan, we'll see." Usha has a big storm coming.

"And the second trial will also become interesting. Ursa is fighting for custody. This will become intense and I'm excited about it." I'm not looking forward to writing another trial lmao. :'D "And about Mai as well. Everyone around her seems to get things in line again." True lol. This is her chapter so, that will be revealed very shortly. "And for Suki and her baby. And Sokka." Suki is gonna be tomorrow's chapter so I won't get into that one yet either. And thanks once again!

"Wheeee!" Tom-Tom whooped happily. "Higher, Mai, higher!"

She gave the swing another push and his delighted giggles increase in volume and amount. Despite the trouble he has caused her, he was the only thing she had left to cling onto. Especially now that Zuko has moved on. She supposed that it was her own fault. She had broken things off with him, what right did she have to complain?

She gave the swing another push.

Her focus was waning. She had asked him how he was doing and he had told her that he was a month clean. That news had been a thrill, the only good news she had heard in the past few months. Good until it wasn't. Good until she offered to take him back when he came back to Wan High. Good until he told her that he would be going for a GED instead of returning to Wan High. Good until he told her that he had a new boyfriend.

There he was sorthing his life out. Overcoming an addiction and years of abuse.

And there she was with a tattoo and shredded arms.

Not that she had the will to make any changes. She told him that it was fine when he texted, 'I don't think that we're healthy for each other, Mai'. She even agreed. But she had a fresh slash on her left forearm. She said that it sounded fine to her when he suggested, 'we can still talk, I just think that we should find people we don't have so much history with.' Perhaps they weren't abusive to each other, not on purpose anyways, but they were about as close as they could have gotten to it without being there. And so she had a second fresh slash.

An 'X' she had cut into her skin.

Tom-Tom squealed sharply and for one horrible moment she thought that he had fallen while her mind had wandered. "Again, Mai, again! Start pushing again!" It would seem that she had let the swing come to a stop entirely, she muttered an apology and initiated the motion again.

Her arm had a third slash that morning. She drew it out upon concluding that she was a fair weather friend. Whoever the hell this Hahn guy was, he had taken Zuko through heroine hell and rode it out with him. She had dropped Zuko the moment he suggested drugs. Even when they were in their on and off again state, she had made a point of dodging and refusing to acknowledge his mentions of heroine.

She had done his sister the same. The girl got into one of her moods and Mai had cut her out, in no mood herself to deal with that. She couldn't have just been an adult and told Azula that she was in an introverted mood. No, she had ignore the problem until it grew. And then she found out about the accident and she didn't have the guts to apologize for making assumptions. She had cut her friend out entirely, when she needed someone the most.

At least she could say that she didn't play favorites when it came to the Kasai siblings, they both got the same cold shoulder. The same absent attitude. The same lack of sympathy.

She wanted to believe that there was at least one person she took up a ride or die mentality for. But she had cut TyLee out when the girl stopped acting bubbly and fun.

In retrospect she didn't know how she was demanding joy and pep from TyLee when her own mood resembled a thick chilly mist. And, compared to TyLee, compared to Azula and Zuko and Katara, were her problems really so deep?

They had so much more to deal with. Much steeper battles, and they didn't go emotionally blank. They still had fight and spunk, even if that spark had been momentarily dulled, they got it back.

She zoned in on Tom-Tom's joyful babbles, trying to force herself into happiness. Really, it was a perfect day. Sunny but enchantingly snow. Winter had always been her favorite season. The snow fell in thick flakes, the kind whose shape one could discern. Tom-Tom was a bundle of excitement, this was the happiest she'd seen him since his accident. The last of the birds chirped pleasantly.

By all means, she should be happy.

But she wasn't. She would have enjoyed this and she knew that she would look back on this day and hate herself for not being able to appreciate such a perfect day in full. That even this small moment of happiness was tainted by an undertone of somber. And that

made her miserable tenfold.

"I wanna go slide." Tom-Tom pointed.

"That's all wet, Tom."

"I wanna go slide, Mai." He was tugging at her arm. She winced as the fabric rubbed over her cuts. She took him to the slid just to get it to stop.

She let him play until his nose turned red. "Alright Tom, time to go home."

"Not yet." He sniffled.

"It's getting cold."

"I'm not cold." But the snot running freely down his face told her otherwise.

"You're getting all, snotty, that's gross and it means it's time to go home." She lifted him up, ignoring his protests and the sharp pangs in her arms.

.oOo.

"I watched Tom-Tom good this time." She tried. "He had a lot of fun."

"And you'll be watching him that closely until the day you move out of this house." Michi screeched. "Watching Tom-Tom is the only way we can make sure that you don't go out and get tattoos."

She wished she had a good pair of headphones, anything to drown the woman out. She was tired of hearing about the tattoo. Tired of hearing about every little thing she did wrong and nothing of what she did right. Has she ever done anything right?

She was beginning to wonder.

She yanked Tom-Tom's hand much rougher than she had intended. "It's bath time Tom, and don't give me a hard time. She let the tub warm before plopping him into the water.

"Are you mad at me? I's sorry."

Mai sighed. "I'm not mad at you Tom, I'm mad at mommy and daddy."

"Why?"

How was she supposed to explain that to a toddler. "You know how mommy sometimes makes you pick up your blocks and it makes you angry."

He nodded.

"Mommy makes me pick up my blocks and her blocks." Mai explained. "I didn't even play with them, does that sound very fair, Tom."

"Mmm mmm, no fair." He folded his arms over his chest.

Mai began shampooing his hair. "That's why I'm mad at mommy."

"Ouchies." At first she thought that she had snagged his hair. It took her a moment to realize that his finger was pointing at her arm. "Why, ouchies?"

That was something she wouldn't even try to explain, so she lied. "I get ouchies from art class, that's why daddy doesn't let you play with scissors yet."

.oOo.

What an example she was setting for Tom-Tom.

She eyed her phone, lucky to have it back in her hands, but at the same time she didn't have much use for it. Her conversation with Zuko had died away, she welcomed that though. She didn't have anyone else to talk to. This time she had done a very good job at isolating herself.

For a moment she thought of calling that poser Moo-Chee.

She wasn't that desperate.

But she was feeling rather macostistic. So she texted Azula, simple and to the point. 'How are you?'

'Perfect, Mai. Just perfect'. She knew Azula's texting style well enough to know that it was oozing with sarcasm.

'What's wrong?'

She replied with a picture of Chan jumping her car, probably sniveling away. Compared to that man, Mai looked like a true and die hard friend. 'Why didn't you just text me?' Mai asked. She regretted it as soon as the delivered notification popped up.

'I was under the impression that you didn't want to talk to me.' Azula replied. 'You made that perfectly clear. So why are you talking now?'

'I didn't want to talk to anyone', wouldn't have sufficed; she knew that Azula had seen her chatting it up with TyLee. Truth be told, Azula took a lot of energy to be around, more than TyLee or her lunchmates. She didn't have an adequate response so she simply didn't reply.

Thirty or so minutes came and went before her phone buzzes again. 'Really, Mai?'

It was a fair question. She had opened the conversation and let it drop with no warning whatsoever.

'What did you want me to say?' Mai responded.

Another thirty minutes and she knew that Azula was returning what she had received.

An hour after that her mother called her downstairs and she braced herself for another lecture and a list of things to do.

"I told you that you weren't allowed to have friends over." Michi hissed.

"I didn't invite anyone."

"I invite myself to places." Azula stepped inside. "Have you forgotten that?"

Mai groaned to herself. That was exactly why her mother had no love for Azula.

"Forgive me," she feigned politeness. "It has been a while since you've come to visit."

Azula shrugged. The girl had a lot of nerve. "Yes, Mai and I are going to talk about that while I'm still in town."

"Glad to see you're you again." Mai commented when they were safely in her room and away from Michi's overbearing ears.

"I am, more or less." She seated herself on the foot of Mai's bed.

Something about her tone indicated that she leaned more towards 'less.' "What are you doing here?"

"I was dropping Teo off at home and then Chan wanted to talk about his potential court date so I stuck around."

"No, what are you doing here?"

"Your text was practically a cry for help." She rolled her eyes. "I hope you're better at ass kissing than Chan."

"You know that I'm not even going to try. If you care about me then you do. I'm not going to beg for it."

"Take a joke, Mai."

"Have some compassion." She returned.

"Not my strong suit." Azula muttered.

"You seemed to have it for Teo and TyLee...and Katara. Zuko too, probably?"

Azula sprawled herself out on the bed. "Unfortunately, Chan has me in a very…"

"Sassy and sarcastic mood." Mai filled in nonchalantly.

"Yes." She admitted. "But I thought I'd drop by anyways. People don't just start talking to people again unless they're trying to say something. What are you trying to say?"

She had a feeling that Azula already knew exactly what she was trying to say. She held her arm out anyways.

"You're doing that again?" Azula's expression softened. "I thought you stopped doing that in middle school."

"Yeah. And then your brother happened. And you happened. And my mother…"

"A lot happened." Azula agreed.

"Why does it matter to you?" She asked. Though she didn't really think that there was anything Azula could say. As soon as she left, Mai would be leaving too.

She scrolled through her camera roll, taking it to the very beginning. She, Azula, and TyLee stared boldly into the camera looking for all the world like nothing could knock them from the top. How very wrong they had been.

"That was a long time ago."

"It was maybe two years ago. That's not that long." Azula remarked, unhelpfully. She wasn't very good at this comforting thing. But at least she was trying, that was more than anyone else, save for Tom-Tom and TyLee, could say. But Tom was just a kid and TyLee had been putting more focus on Katara and her trial these days.

"Don't you have a long drive or something?" Mai asked.

"Two hours."

"Then maybe you should get on top of that."

"And what are you going to do when I leave?" Azula asked. Mai's stomach crawled. "It isn't fun you know. It's not as powerful and glorious as they make it seem. You're a mess and you can't breathe. It hurts and it isn't as quick as they make it out to be. You have time to think about it. To really think about it. And suddenly you want to take it back."

Mai gripped the bedspread.

"And that's with pills. I don't know much about slit wrists but I can imagine that it'll leave you with just as much time to think about just what it'll do to your brother." She stood and headed for the door, knowing very well that Mai would pull her back into the room.

"Are you making the call or am I?"

She didn't leave any room for arguing. "I'll call myself."

"Your mother better learn to accept me inviting myself over."

"Nobody is ever going to like or accept that, Azula. Especially not my mom. You can save me every single night and she'd still be pissed that you show up announced."

"That's probably true."

"You'll stay until they get here?"

"I'll drive you, if you'd rather do that than call." Azula replied. "It's along my way."

.oOo.

The look on her mother's face when she rolled up her sleeves haunted her. It kept her hushed for most of the drive. It had been a look of complete horror. And her father, she was lucky that he wasn't home. She was lucky that she wouldn't be home as her mother struggled to think of how to tell Tom-Tom why the lady was taking his sister away.

"Tom-Tom is probably going to hate you for a while."

"I had an entire school of people doing that. I think I can handle the scorn of a two year old."

"He's four." Mai noted.

"He'll get it one day." Azula replied stoically.

Mai hoped that he would never get it in the way that she and Azula did. Azula up to the institution and found a parking spot. There was nothing Mai wanted less than to go into that building. Azula waited for her to open the door first before opening her own. Apparently she wasn't going to leave an oppertuinty for Mai to skip out.

That was probably better for her.

"Thanks, Azula." She mumbled. "I don't know why you came back for me."

"Because Katara came back for me." This time her attempts at keeping a flat tone fall incredibly short. It occured to Mai, only then, that she had put Azula back in a moment that she'd rather forget.

"Sorry…"

"Don't apologize."

She still felt like she should.

She had a lot to apologize for.

"Not everything is your fault all the time."

She always knew that Azula would be the one to make her cry.