***Warning: There are inappropriate jokes at the end of the chapter. It's probably no more than PG-13 but just in case, if you don't like sexual type jokes don't read this chapter, let me know and I'll give you a summary.
The time that a lot happened in the Gryffindor girls' dormitory.
Eilidh's nerves almost got the better of her. She didn't even know why she liked him. He was infuriatingly prideful and unknowable and intense. She normally went for the lively, easygoing, charismatic type, like James. Yet, somehow, James had never appealed to her the way Sirius did.
She was willing to talk to Lily about this which would quite possibly ruin their friendship. Understandably so considering she was Lily's friend first, meaning Lily's enemies should be hers as well. Eilidh couldn't help liking those boys any more than could help not liking Severus.
So there she was, because of Sirius's 'deal breaker,' standing outside her own dormitory, trying to get the nerve to walk in.
Lily was stubborn and she considered Severus family. All Eilidh had was the feeble argument, "There are two sides to every story. They're great lads if you give them a chance."
With her heart in her throat and her palms sweating, Eilidh opened the door and remained unnoticed until she let it fall. The chatter stopped immediately and, just as suddenly, all four eyes were on her. Eilidh rested her weight against the door.
"Hey," she said nervously and tried to swallow the lump in her throat. Marlene smiled gently at her, Mary bit her lip, while Lily and Josie made no attempt to hide their negative feelings. "Er, I need to talk to you all about something. Marls, do you have time?"
"Plenty," Marlene said, after a quick glance at her wristwatch.
Eilidh would be forever grateful for Marlene's support during this time. Quidditch practice was scheduled in half an hour and Marlene liked to show up early in hopes of becoming Quidditch Captain when Cresswell graduated. Whether or not it would work, she was still sacrificing something important to her just to be there for Eilidh.
"Make it quick. We have to study," Lily said, flicking her hair back and crossing her arms. She leaned against Josie's four-poster.
It was as if an unexpected and very bright stage light was suddenly pointed at her. She took a few steps forward, careful to appear confident and open.
Eilidh didn't know where to start. Should she come out and say it, or should she find a way to ease into it? She looked to Marlene who nodded encouragingly, Mary who smiled kindly, then back to Lily and Josie, the lions of the den.
"Something happened a while ago that I didn't tell you about. I don't know why I didn't tell you then. I mean, I thought it would be best to see if things would stay the way they were but then-" She was rambling, she could feel it in the way her breath caught in her throat. Marlene cleared her throat and tapped against her bedpost, telling Eilidh to move things along.
"Get to the point, Nicnevin." Lily flicked her hair back and pressed her lips into a thin line.
Eilidh went cold. It was fine for James, and sometimes Sirius, to refer to her by her surname but from Lily, it was just dissociative and demeaning.
"I'm dating Sirius." Saying it was rather simple, especially when she no longer cared about what Lily thought.
Lily froze, her eyes looking through Eilidh rather than at her. Josie, however, almost jumped up, her face falling. Eilidh stood her ground, her expression just as cold as theirs had been. She no longer cared. She was now the lion.
"Well, I hope he makes you happy," Lily said, then turned to leave. Picking up her rucksack on her way out, she slammed the door behind her.
"How could you do that to Lily?" Josie asked quietly.
"I don't want to hear it, Josie," Eilidh snapped. A thousand daggers were piercing her heart, and it was all she could do to hold on to that anger. She didn't want to cry now. Her nails dug into her palms to distract from the pricking in her eyes.
"When you and Sirius break up and you will come to your senses, Lily will take you back because that's the person she is. I hope you realise that you don't deserve a friend like her. She'd never do that to you," Josie said, her voice strong, but she was having trouble meeting Eilidh's eye.
"I said, I don't want to hear it," Eilidh snarled and continued to snarl as she watched Josie stomp out. The door slammed again and Eilidh fell into a pit of exhaustion, her eyes welling with hot tears.
She turned away from Mary and Marlene, her eyes locked, blurrily, on Marlene's cat napping on the windowsill.
"So, you and Sirius are official?" Mary said, weakly.
"Don't you remember the marriage ceremony?" Marlene teased.
Eilidh took a deep breath, let a few tears fall, dried her eyes, then turned around.
"I'm fine," she smiled, certainly sounding fine, but she wasn't fine at all, she was just numb.
"You should be. You've got two wonderful friends," Mary grinned, draping her arm around Marlene, "oh, and a cute boyfriend."
"Let's not use that word just yet," Eilidh cringed.
"Why not? You're 'officially a non-platonic thing. At least that's what Potter said during last practice," Marlene shrugged.
"Maybe she has something against the word cute?" Mary suggested.
"It's not that." Eilidh shook her head. This was just another thing to worry about. She squeezed her eyes shut wishing she could go back and do it all over.
"Getting trouble from both ends?" Marlene asked, already knowing the answer. Eilidh nodded, her eyes still closed. She did not want to cry right now. "Come over here and talk about it."
"That's what friends are for," Mary agreed, climbing over her bed to get to Marlene's. Eilidh chucked.
"It's just, I started this, a little aggressively, so I kinda want him to set the tone and take his own pace with this whole thing," Eilidh said, taking a keen interest in her thumbs.
"You're still talking about the kiss thing?" Marlene droned. Eilidh could hear the eye roll.
"The kiss th- you two already kissed?" Mary exclaimed. "That would have been nice to know!"
"It's not what you think," Eilidh argued, catching herself smiling. "I kissed him, it wasn't even a real kiss. Anyway, it happened at the beginning of the year and we were practically forced into it."
"I wouldn't say forced," Marlene muttered.
"I forced him," Eilidh corrected, the familiar guilt returning to her.
"He said he was into it, didn't he?" Marlene argued.
"Sort of," Eilidh mumbled.
"What do you mean sort of?" Mary asked.
"He said that he was happy it happened-"
"Exactly."
"But that he wished he had been the one to do it," Eilidh pressed on despite Marlene's insistence.
"I see what you mean," Mary murmured looking sympathetic. Marlene rolled her eyes and groaned dramatically.
"He's obviously not taking the initiative so why shouldn't you be the one to do it. Maybe, by kissing him, you let him know that you want to be the one who sets the tone," Marlene argued.
"I have to agree with Eilidh on this one, Marls," Mary said with an apologetic smile. Marlene scoffed and laid out on the bed. "I think that by kissing him first she might have tapped into his insecurities and that's why he's not taking the initiative."
"So she should what? Play damsel in distress to re-inflate his ego? Don't waste your time with a guy like that," Marlene waved her off. Eilidh felt horrible about it but she agreed with Marlene.
"Don't be so cruel. People are allowed to have insecurities," Mary reasoned.
Eilidh sighed and finally collapsed onto the bed between them. Marlene absentmindedly combed her fingers through Eilidh's hair. Mary twisted her bracelet around in her fingers. Both seemed keen on staying quiet to let Eilidh think. Eilidh didn't want to think right now. She wanted a distraction.
"Mary, who's your crush?" Eilidh asked, lightly, hoping she wouldn't cause another issue. She could just blame it on suspicion.
Marlene's combing paused shortly.
"What do you mean?" Mary asked, her fingers no longer twisting around the beads.
"Just asking," Eilidh said softly.
"You'll see," Mary said, her fingers resuming. Her answer only confused Eilidh more, but she didn't press it.
"And Marlene?" Eilidh asked, truly curious. Marlene hummed or groaned, it was hard to tell.
"Everyone at Hogwarts is straight, thus I have no crush" she admitted, her tone light, but her hands had gently clutched some of Eilidh's hair. "No real crush anyway."
"Would you ever kiss her?" Eilidh asked, stealing the opportunity to prove her point. Lily would have insisted on finding someone for her but she was both a mingling pest and a much better friend.
"That's different. I know for sure she doesn't want it," Marlene argued.
"But he didn't want it either," Eilidh whispered, afraid of what the words might have sounded like at full volume.
"Eilidh," Marlene sounded exasperated as she sat up, propping herself up on her elbow. "You two were in a tough spot and you did what you had to to get out of it. If he really didn't want it, he wouldn't have asked you out, he wouldn't have said that he wished he had been the one to do it. Stop worrying over nothing!"
"Marls, you don't understand. What if he feels like he has to date me now because that's what a proper gentleman would do? You know, the way he was raised to be?" Eilidh had grown loud, her voice thick and cracking, her hands stirred the air then collapsed, with a thud, against her stomach.
"Then I'll kick his arse," Marlene said. Eilidh groaned and pressed her palms into her eyes until she saw stars. "All right, all right. I'm sorry." Marlene pried her hands away and took hold of one. "I don't think Sirius is like that. At all. If anything, he seems spiteful towards tradition. But, talk to him about this. Probably under the influence of a good calming draught."
Eilidh laughed and shook her head.
"That is advice I can agree with," Mary said, smiling at the pair.
"I'll probably ruin everything," Eilidh laughed at herself, knowing how true it was. She had just ruined things with Lily and for sure with Josie.
"I don't think you'll ruin it. If anything, it shows you care about him," Mary said.
"Oh, yeah, 'sorry I assaulted you with my mouth. Let's forget the whole thing ever happened' is really heart-warming," Eilidh said bitterly.
"Please don't say it like that," Marlene implored.
"I hope you're not dating me out of obligation or to inflate your ego because I'd rather not waste my time?" Eilidh joked. Marlene threw Eilidh's hand away but laughed. Mary grinned, shaking her head. Eilidh groaned and sat up. "I told them I would meet them in their dormitory."
"So go," Marlene said. "And take some condoms with you."
Mary snorted.
"For what?" Eilidh demanded.
"For the orgie. Why else would you want to be alone with four men?" Marlene smirked, dancing over to their shared closet.
"For the smell mostly," Eilidh said matter-of-factly, her nose wrinkling at the remembered stench of stale socks and old food. She collapsed back onto the bed.
"You have to face him sometime," Mary said.
"But it's so much safer in here," Eilidh groaned, rolling onto her feet. "I should have let my gran send me to the nunnery."
Marlene stuck her head out of the closet, grinning. "I'll let you wear my dress that shows off your boobs."
"I don't have boobs, Marlene."
"Yes you do, they're just small," Marlene's voice came out muffled before she re-emerged from the closet. "But don't worry, I can fix that too."
"Please, do not tell me you're going to magically grow my breasts," Eilidh implored, her voice hard.
"Ever hear of makeup, love?" Marlene smirked.
"I don't want to get dressed up just to hang out in their dormitory. Your dress will come back with a weird stain," Eilidh argued.
"You won't look too dressed up. It's just a summer dress."
"It's almost December. In a drafty castle," Eilidh said blankly and yet somehow still got corralled into sitting in front of Marlene's mirror.
"You'll wear a coat and some tights. Oh, and those pink chucks?" Marlene signalled to Mary.
"Those are awful," Eilidh whined.
"Hey!" Mary called indignantly
"They'll look perfect with the dress. And pink looks good on you," Marlene complimented.
"I don't think we should use the tights," Mary said with her head under her bed. "It'll make her look too short."
Marlene mused over Eilidh's chest. Eilidh sunk lower into the chair.
"We're gonna need Alice," Marlene said finally.
"Why? Why do we need Alice?"
"Because Alice is an artist," Marlene said simply, swooping out of the dormitory.
Eilidh glared at Mary's raised buttocks and contemplated dashing for the door. She would only be deemed childish if she did and she had already made a fool of herself enough for one day. Besides, there was nothing wrong with getting a little dressed up now and then. And if James teased her, she could rightfully hex him.
***BadwolfYuki, hello and welcome. Also, hello to your boyfriend ;) I thought the same thing but after extensive research, I couldn't find any evidence in cannon to support it so I kinda developed my own headcannon about James's hometown and how he ends up in Godric's Hollow. I hope this change doesn't hinder your enjoyment of my little story. Thank you so much for your review, for the compliment, for answering my question, and for reading :D***
***I'm sorry I haven't been posting very often lovies, I've had some changes in my life that I'm kinda having a hard time adapting too. I promise I'm not abandoning this story and I'm genuinely trying to get back on schedule. Thank you for your patience, you all are the best :)
I'm too tired to think of a good chapter title right now so you'll have to excuse me but thank you for reading anyway
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Until next time,
XO