Story: It is What it is, Chapter 7
Disclaimer: I don't own FMA. (If this chapter isn't satisfying to readers I will rewrite it. I feel like there was unnecessary stuff in this, so I would understand if people hate it.)

CatCat said: Hello!

I only recently started reading this and I think that this is a great fan fiction so far! I love to see well written work that's enjoyable to read because so many fanfictions I've read have a good idea, a good plot but are horribly written so congrats on being one of the few fan fictions I'll ever read! I love Parental!RoyEd so I can't wait to see what happens in the next few chapters! Keep up the good work :3

I feel so honored that you think so highly of my story. It can be frustrating to read something with such a good premise, but it's just not executed the way you would like. That's why I've been trying my very best to get the characters as accurate as possible personality wise, as difficult as it may be at times.

heartbreakerninja said: Yayayaya Kanon was saved! So glad!

And he had a kinda bonding moment with Ed! I cant decide which of the boys needed that the most by that point.

Kanon definitely needed that. I wouldn't have had the heart to kill him off. Glad you read it! :D

AEW Dragon said: That was really good for having never written a mystery before. And now we can deal with Ed's problem. Looking forward to the next chapter!

You really think so? I really tried my best. Good to know it was satisfactory! :D

Yes, now this is gonna be the tedious part, even though I'm gonna enjoy every minute of it!

...

Also, ... Fraternization... Roy and Riza technically can't get married or have a relationship because of fraternization laws, but I have plans, because I couldn't forgive myself if I didn't get them together eventually. Either way, they're totally in love, and nothing will ever change that. (EVEN GRUMMAN SHIPS ROY WITH HER)

There is some Royai in this chapter. (It may be a bit pointless, so ignore it if you want, I guess. It wasn't really the greatest.)

I wrote this in a way to set up for future chapters. I've re-edited and replaced certain parts of this chapter about SIX OR SEVEN times so far, but no matter what, I can't get it the way I want it to be. D'x Though the future chapters should be better than this one, I think. :D;;; Please try to be patient.

Also, I hope Roy doesn't seem too out of character at the end of this. I just feel like he would kind of panic in such a situation, even if he is usually calm and stuff. He's going to be back to normal next chapter though, but Ed and him are gonna work through some of their differences soon.

This chapter is probably a disaster and a huge mess, though... and I feel like the direction doesn't make a whole lot of sense... I was trying to get some nice passages I'd written on rough draft, but it may have ruined the flow. Hope this isn't too dramatic, but I have said this is kind of based off personal experience, and my life is pretty damn chaotic and dramatic, so...

...

The next few days went by fairly eventfully. Gerhard had tried to attack Roy when he realized the full extent of everything he was being accused of, only to gracefully get burned by him in the process. After that, Gerhard gave away most of the answers they needed. And though he never revealed what kind of drug he used, he didn't need to. As it turned out, Gerhard had escaped prison, just as Roy had suspected.

Why he had not been caught before that, they didn't know, but what mattered was that he was back in prison where he belonged with maximum security precautions applied to his sentence. And though there would be a trial eventually, that wasn't something Roy would personally be involved with.

With everything settling down, Kanon and Lana had been questioned on what they knew, and Edward had come to visit them a few times in the hospital until Wednesday when two beds over in CBH were available and both siblings were transferred over. Lana had told the doctors that she didn't want to take any of her stuff with her, as she felt it would be nice to start anew. Though a bit reluctant at first, Kanon eventually went along with her decision, agreeing that it would probably be for the best.

...

"So... I heard that you three are from the military..." Caspar said, Wednesday afternoon.

"Yeah." Roy murmured, eyes downcast, expecting Caspar to be angry at him. He waited to hear what more he had to say. Riza didn't say anything out of respect for both of them, and Edward didn't even seem to be paying attention.

"I figure you have your reasons for hiding your identities from everybody, so I won't bother prying into your personal business." Caspar gave a small smile. "Just know that you'll always be Alistair to me."

Roy returned the gesture. "Thanks, Caspar..."

"You know... You guys should get married for real some day..." Edward smirked. For a moment, he thought about Trisha and Hohenheim. While it wasn't the exact same situation, Edward wanted Roy and Riza to be able to be together, because he could tell how happy they made each other. Even if his own mother didn't get the treatment she had deserved, it didn't mean that they should have to go through the same thing. He didn't want anybody to go through anything like what she had to.

"We can't..." Roy said, looking away.

"Why not?" Edward inquired, crest-fallen.

"There are laws that prohibit it." Riza explained. "I would no longer be able to be his Lieutenant."

Fraternization. Edward vaguely remembered reading something about the policy before, but it had slipped his mind. There were too many rules to keep up with anyway, and, right now, he couldn't find it in himself to care to. "Well, I think that's stupid. If you love her and she loves you, you should be able to have whatever the hell kind of relationship you want. They shouldn't be able to interfere with that. It's your business, not theirs...!"

"Stupid or not, that's how it is." Roy said, simply. "I don't like it anymore than you do, kid. Why do you think I want to get to the top?"

Edward looked up at him, inquiring an answer.

"Aside from my other goals to prevent another war like what happened in Ishval, I also believe that people should be allowed to have the freedom to choose who they want to be with." Roy told him. "That's why I will do whatever I can to get to that position to change the way things are."

Riza felt a warmth in her heart growing at hearing him, her heart beating faster than ever.

It was also in that moment that Edward gained more respect for Roy than he'd ever had before. It gave him insight to what the man behind the cold and suave exterior was all about.

"Even so...," Roy averted his gaze slightly. "I've killed too many people and my hands are stained. Part of me wonders if I'm even worthy of a relationship. Even in the case that marriage was plausible... That would be her decision first, as I would never want to put her in a position that she felt uncomfortable with-"

Suddenly, Roy was cut off by something that shocked both him and Edward. Riza had kissed him. It was small and gentle, but no less meaningful. Roy's eyes widened, and before he had much time to respond, Riza pulled back, giving a small pained expression.

It wasn't like she didn't understand what he was talking about. She felt the same as him when it came to dating and relationships. Often, she questioned if she would have even been capable of maintaining one, or if she even deserved to. So they were the same in that regard. Even so, hearing Roy talk about himself being unworthy wasn't any less unpleasant despite knowing that.

As if knowing what she was thinking, Roy looked away guiltily. Seeing the expression on Riza's face had been hard for him to look at.

And it was clear: They both wanted to be together, but not only the laws were interfering, but also their own personal insecurities.

They would have, most certainly, gotten in trouble had the military found out, but Roy wasn't the type that would tell about something like that. And they were the only ones inside the building aside from Caspar and some old guy that appeared to be sleeping next to his meal on the other side of the restaurant. So they would, fortunately, be fine, and Riza knew that. That was why she had to let him know right then and there how she felt, even if wasn't with words.

"So..." Caspar turned to Edward. "Do you have somebody you like?"

It took Edward, who had turned away out of awkwardness, a moment before he realized he was talking to him.

"H-huh?" He choked on his spit at the sudden question.

"As a matter of fact, he does." Roy said, happy to divert the attention away from himself. "'Winry', was it?"

"Oh, yeah, you two were pretty close when you were living in Resembool, right?" Riza inquired, a thoughtful look on her face.

Edward's face heated up at the topic of his childhood friend, whom he had always had a bit of a crush on. "Hey, it's nothing like that, we're just friends is all!"

"Now, now, no need to be so modest, Fullmetal." Roy smirked, as he rested his elbow on the table, laying his cheek in the palm of his hand. "It's perfectly fine if you like her. You don't have to hide it."

"Shut up! I'm not hiding anything...!" Edward denied, pouting, before giving a small smile, a hint of sadness in his eyes. "Besides, I wouldn't be any good for her. She deserves better than I could ever offer her..."

In reality, he did like Winry. A lot. She had often been there to push him and his brother forward; to motivate them, when they didn't know how to motivate themselves. Furthermore, she was strong. Stronger than he would ever be. Undeniably, he greatly respected her.

But Edward knew that he'd hurt her, by constantly going off for long periods of time, and shutting her out, even though he did it to protect her. Furthermore, he was constantly damaging and destroying the top quality automail she always put so much hard work into making for him.

Winry didn't deserve that. She didn't deserve a mess as a partner, and as far as he knew, she didn't even like him like that anyway.

And even if she did, there was the issue of the cutting. What kind of person would want somebody with so many scars; to deal with somebody that had so many problems?

"You're wrong..." Roy murmured. "You may have made a few mistakes, but you're not a bad person. Your conscience is clean. That's not something many people can say about themselves these days..."

It was clear that Roy was thinking about himself and the fact that he'd had his own hands stained. In some sense, he seemed to be expressing respect for Edward.

Edward was surprised - it was the last thing he'd expected him, of all people, to tell him.

"Even so," Riza decided to give her own input. "you still have a ways to go before you should even be thinking about anything like relationships or marriage, young man."

"Yeah, you've still got your whole life ahead of you." Roy added. "And also, I'd suggest to focusing on getting a little taller first, before you try to get with a woman..."

While Roy wasn't being serious and was more referring to Edward needing to get older and grow up a little before he made a decision to be with somebody, Edward wasn't amused in the slightest. He was certain that Roy had done it for the sole purpose of mocking him and pissing him off.

"Calm down, Edward..." Riza sighed, as Edward began to lunge out at Mustang. She grabbed him by the collar, holding him back.

Mustang edged back, unable to keep from gloating and laughing a bit as Edward hissed out obscenities like "Let me at him!" and "I dare you to call me short again and see what happens!"

Of course, Mustang was only laughing until he got kicked flat in the face by Edward...

...

Riza and Roy had came to the market, to get several items and had got Edward to come along in case he wanted something. Said boy had started to climb up onto a shelf, trying to reach a box of cereal, when he felt hands lift him from under his arms.

"Hey!" Edward snapped as he was placed back on the floor by Roy. It certainly didn't help that his cuts were hurting like hell.

"Here." Roy said simply, holding out the box of cereal.

"I could've gotten it myself, you know...!" Edward muttered, averting his gaze.

"And you could have also caused everything to fall." Roy told him flatly. Of course, he didn't admit that he was acually partially worried about Edward's safety, given that the shelf seemed to be swaying a bit. If Edward would have stepped up any higher, it would have, without a doubt, fallen over, and taken the poor soul with it.

"Yeah, well if I had, I would have just fixed it...!" Edward argued back, not seeing a problem.

"With what? Alchemy? Is that really your answer to everything, Ed?" Roy scoffed.

"No!" Edward knew there were things that alchemy couldn't do, like saving a life, but it was something that he used a lot, no doubt. A certain part of him felt elated at being called his nickname by Roy, but it was somehow frustrating all the same.

"What are you two arguing about this time...?" Riza asked, walking around the corner and meeting up with them.

"He started it by nagging at me." Edward accused, pointing a finger.

"I simply was telling him he shouldn't be climbing on shelves, because he could knock something down."

"It is a little dangerous, Edward." Riza said, not seeing fault with what Roy was saying.

"Whatever..." Edward muttered, throwing the box of cereal, the only thing he'd gotten, into the basket. He'd been irrationally irritable the past couple of days, and he didn't even know why. Not to mention that his anxiety had once again built up in his system, even if he had only just cut two days before. "Hey, Mustang, can I get the key to the house?"

As Roy reached into his pocket to pull out said item, Riza seemed more surprised than he did. "You're going back?"

"Yeah, I'm kind of tired." Edward said, a bit sheepishly, trying to dismiss himself. It wasn't a lie. He did feel light headed and a bit dizzy due to the recent blood loss.

"You sure? You don't want anything else?" Riza asked.

"Yeah, I'll be fine." Edward smiled.

Roy had started to hand Edward the key, before he noticed a tinge of red on Edward's white glove.

"Hang on. Are you bleeding?" he asked. Though the words were ones of concern, they were laced with unintentional harshness. Edward momentarily froze up, noticing the blood himself, as he quickly stepped back. Some of the wounds must have reopened and bled through with how he'd been rubbing at his cuts so much.

"No... I mean yes. But it's not that bad or anything." Edward looked away, holding his arm back.

"Fullmetal, what happened?" Roy asked. This time, it wasn't as stern and showed he wasn't mad, at the least.

Edward felt sick to his stomach, feeling their eyes on him.

"Edward...?" Riza inquired, reaching out to check his arm.

"I told you it's nothing..." Edward pulled back, before she could touch him. "It was the fight I got into with Kanon last week. One of the wounds reopened is all. I have some bandage wrap back at the house, so I'll cover it up with that."

His response, of course, had been the first believable explanation that came to mind, but it had Edward mentally cursing himself more than before. He didn't like lying about others, but Kanon wasn't here to say that he was lying, so it was what he felt he needed at the moment. And it was certainly better than the alternative.

"Edward, if you're hurt that badly, you should allow one of us to-" Riza started to reach out again to touch Edward's shoulder, but he reflexively jerked away again, taking her aback.

"Hey! I said I'm fine...!" He was scared and startled by the physical contact, not wanting her to see the cuts, before catching himself in his behavior. Feeling guilty for snapping at her when she had no ill intentions, he turned his head away. "Sorry..."

With that, he walked off towards the front of the building to leave.

"Well, that was a little odd..." Riza mused.

Roy was no less baffled by the boy's insistence on not wanting to be touched. "You're telling me..."

...

Edward rushed into the bathroom at their borrowed house, locking the door, He felt his anxiety boiling inside of him.

He could have been caught!

His breathing was becoming erratic.

Over the past few days, Edward had been finding himself becoming more depressed at the though of everything going back to normal after the week was over, like none of it had happened. Multiple times, he couldn't help but wonder despite all that they had told him:

What did Riza and Roy really think of him...?

Looking down at his glove which was quickly becoming more and more bloody, he took it off, throwing it aside. He would use his alchemy to mess with the blood later. Seeing the crimson flowing down his arm from a particularly narrow, but deep, gash that he'd overlooked before, he was once unable to stop himself from acting on the urge. He told himself that he would only do it for a little while.

He knew that cutting would never fill the hole in his chest left behind by his father, nor the loneliness at knowing his mother was forever gone and that he would never see her again. It would never make up for all trouble and suffering he'd caused Alphonse, and it certainly couldn't give back the life of Nina, whom he'd failed to save. Nor could it take back what happened to Hughes, because of him...

It couldn't truly get rid of the emptiness and loneliness he often felt when he was by himself, but it didn't matter, because it was addictive and at least temporarily eased the burden, even if only a little.

At some point, he cut much deeper than intended, blood pouring from the deep laceration on his wrist. Yet, even as his arm became more and more numb due to nerve damage, and his body weaker and heavier, it wasn't enough. He couldn't bring himself stop. He didn't want to. He wanted more. He needed more.

Even when his legs finally gave in and he collapsed, his body unable to hold up anymore, he still kept trying to reach out for the blade that had fallen several feet from his grasp, before finally, things became too fuzzy and his senses began to fade.

...
When Roy and Riza reached the house after paying for their groceries, Roy knocked several times on the front door, waiting for a response. When Edward didn't answer, Roy decided that Edward wasn't going to open the door, and sat the bags down in his arms, so he could reach into his pocket and take out a spare key that he'd gotten a couple days before from Caspar, unlocking it with that.

As they entered, they put the stuff up where it belonged, before Roy walked towards the bathroom, soon followed by Riza.

"Fullmetal, are you in there?" Roy called out, knocking on the door. When there was no response, a sick consternation swept over him. He was certain that Edward was in the bathroom and that was what was worrying him. "I'm coming in."

In that moment, Roy reached out, grasping the door knob. Turning it, he discovered that it was locked. Without hesitance, he threw his weight into the wood to bust open the door, partially knocking it off its hinges(something he would have to worry about later).

His eyes immediately widened in alert at the sight in front of him. Lying on the hardwood floor, pale as could be, his flesh arm covered in too many cuts and scars to count was Edward. Blood had poured out around him, a razor blade not too far away from him.

"Oh my god..." Riza didn't want to believe it.

"I've had my suspicions for a while, but I had really hoped it wasn't true." Roy said grimly.

In an instant, he rushed to his side, feeling for a pulse. It was there, but it was weak. He began to shake him, trying to get him to open his eyes. "Edward..., can you hear me? Wake up...!"

No...

His usual calm exterior was quickly cracking, a desperate expression consuming his facial features, as he sat Edward up, leaning him against his chest.

I can't lose you, least of all like this!

"Sir, I'll go call an ambulance." Riza said with urgency. She was just as upset, but was trying her best to hold herself together.

"Please, do that..." Roy frantically grabbed a dark blue towel from the nearby linen shelf, wrapping it around Edward's arm to keep pressure on the wounds, as Riza stepped out of the room.

"I'm sorry..."

Roy's eyes snapped wide open at hearing Edward's voice. The boy's golden eyes were weakly gazing up at him. He looked like he was on the verge of tears.

Roy shook his head slightly as he spoke in as gentle of a voice as he could manage:

"Don't apologize. Just stay awake, okay...?" Roy felt like there was a lump in his throat.

Edward was a little confused as to why Roy looked so worried. The expression didn't fit him. Seeing it didn't feel real. It wasn't what he was used to or had expected.

His eyes widened a bit when he was pulled into a sudden tight embrace. Roy held onto Edward like a parent clinging to their child, as if he was afraid that if he let go of him now, he would disappear right before his eyes and that he would never have the opportunity to hold him again. "Things are going to be alright, Ed. I swear it."

More than anything, Roy tried his hardest to believe the words that had came out of his own mouth.

Edward wished he could believe it.

...

A/N: I hope this is satisfactory and not TOO bad. D'x;;;;