Curses

The tension in the room was thick and nearly suffocating. It grew at a steady pace as James worried aloud, seemingly oblivious about their current predicament, and Sirius ground his teeth and broke his quills while he attempted to drown James out by listing the uses of Valerian root. Peter sat curled up on his bed, staring out of the window, appearing serene but Remus was able to pick up on the negative emotions boiling inside him. His own emotions fed on James's anxiety, on Sirius's cataclysmic irritation, on Peter's fear, anger, defeat, and it festered and festered until he thought he would break. And then a knock sounded at the door and everything froze.

They hadn't been expecting anyone. Eilidh was off with her reinstated girl friends. Frank was off with Alice. Cresswell was burying himself in finding a temporary replacement for James. Gabe Pevensie was Gabe Pevensie, he didn't come knocking on your door, you came to him. All of their friends were accounted for, so unless there was an emergency…

The four of them exchanged glances. Peter stood. Sirius set down his quill. James crossed the room and kicked a pile of dirty socks away from the door.

"Professor?" James, sounding relieved, quickly angled himself behind the door to cover his naked torso and subtly angling the door so their professor couldn't see the state their room was in.

"Good afternoon, Mr Potter," Professor McGonagall greeted politely, "the Headmaster has requested that Peter Pettigrew visit his office."

Something broke. He heard the glass shatter in the way Sirius turned back to his Potions homework, in the way that Peter paled and swallowed, in the way that James faltered for half a beat.

"I'll - I'll er… just get him then." James slammed the door closed, his smile wide.

"You just slammed the door on Professor McGonagall," Remus said, attempting to distract Peter with something potentially humourous. James chuckled nervously.

"My mum's going to send me to a muggle school," Peter murmured, lowering himself onto the edge of his bed.

"Why would she do that?" Sirius asked, the idea clearly strange to him.

Peter turned to glare at him. "Because you got us into that fight with the Slytherins," he spat with much more venom Remus ever thought he was capable of.

"What does your mum care about Slytherins?" Sirius asked, in an attempt to make the problem seem less that it was, possibly to calm Peter down, more possibly because he was too zoned in on his own bad mood to care about Peter's.

"She cares because I'm going to the Headmaster's office and getting in trouble again for something you made me do!" Peter yelled. Sirius looked at Peter blankly. "Not that you care," Peter continued on in bitter mutterings, angrily throwing things into his rucksack. Sirius's eyes followed him around the room, making no attempt to protest. "Why would you? With me gone you won't have to worry about me ruining your fun. You and James and Remus can run about the castle without this old lump following you around." Peter slammed the door behind him despite a sock getting caught in the door jamb.

James turned to look at Sirius. Sirius turned back to his Potions homework.

"Mate," James said, "I don't know what's going on with you -"

"What do you want, James?" Sirius demanded, every muscle in his body visibly tensing.

James's jaw locked, his shoulders squared as he fought for his own self-control. He closed his eyes, exhaled slowly, and turned to leave.

The only sound that could be heard in the room was an ugly bird call, a quill scratching along parchment, and Remus's heartbeat.

He had to sit down.

Sirius wasn't going to like this.

"So, what happened?" he asked.

"You were already told what happened," Sirius said.

"I meant between you and James," Remus said.

Sirius said nothing. Remus fought over waiting him out or coming up with a way to convince him that talking about it would be good for him.

"James did something," Sirius said. "Something bad that I participated in. Maybe it was for the better but I can't… I don't know how to not feel guilty for it. I don't know how to not blame James."

Remus was well acquainted with this feeling."Did anyone get hurt?" he asked.

"I guess not," Sirius shrugged.

"Was it for the better?"

Sirius sighed almost as if it were difficult for him to breath. "I don't know."

Remus stuffed his hands into his pockets feeling awkwardly helpless.

"I'm sure it was," he said, "James operates on principle."

"But what are his principles?" Sirius asked.

"You must be utterly oblivious if after four years you really don't know," Remus said.

"There's something else," Sirius said, reluctant and turned around to face him. "He's been different since the Slytherins. Reckless. Pevensie's party right after his concussion. He snuck out last night. He's stealing from Dumbledore just to organize some stupid date."

"Is all that really so different?" Remus challenged.

"Before there was a reason for the risks he took. Now… what's the reason for all that?" Sirius analyzed him, quickly realising that Remus remained unconvinced. "You don't know what he did," he muttered, turning away.

Remus didn't want to know, he didn't even wonder what James could have done to fracture Sirius's friendship. He just felt sick. The world was turning inside out and crashing around him, while he sat in the eye of the storm, worrying about full moons.

"That's just what happens when people get hurt, Sirius when they're afraid. Especially if they've never had it that bad. These kinds of things bring out the worst in people and if this is the worst in James I'd say we're pretty lucky," Remus said. "He just needs his friends right now. He'll be back."

Sirius paused. He was fighting with himself. Remus could almost hear the wheels turning in his head.

"What if it's something more?" Sirius asked.

"What -" Remus started.

"What if," Sirius continued, "what if the concussion was more than a concussion. The coma wasn't a coma, not really. I've been thinking it over and something doesn't add up."

"What else would it be? Madam Pomfrey -" Remus started.

"Madam Pomfrey didn't say coma," Sirius said, pronouncing every syllable. "She did say curse." Sirius paused to let his words sink in. "I don't think she meant for me to hear it but she said she wanted Haas to come see if James was cursed into the state he was in. Said she didn't want to pull him out of it if he was."

"So?" Remus asked.

"So, she never did pull him out of it. She never said what Haas said. She never said coma," Sirius said firmly, almost begging.

"She would have to tell -"

"She'd have to tell Mrs Potter and Dumbledore, no one else," Sirius said. Of course, they wouldn't want to tell them. They would react horribly, impulsively, explosively, in a much bigger way than a stupid fight in the dungeons. "There's something else that doesn't make sense. Why would they interrogate Eilidh? Haas did it after he examined James. He made Eilidh think it was her fault."

"Eilidh gave him a calming draught when he was concussed; if it wasn't a curse it makes sense that -"

"If it wasn't a curse then why wouldn't Pomfrey pull him out of it?"

"Maybe she couldn't. Magic can't do everything," Remus said.

"She said she could as long as it wasn't a curse. Remus!"

"Okay. All right. It's plausible that it was a curse."

"It was a curse," Sirius said certainly and defiantly.

Remus tried to think of any other reason why Madam Pomfrey would choose to not wake James up. He couldn't, but he wasn't ready to admit it.

"Have you talked to Eilidh?" he asked.

"I can't!" Sirius exclaimed, startling Remus. "It would ruin everything. We have to just pretend that everything's normal."

"What are you on about?" Remus asked, bewildered. "The whole reason why we ever became friends with her is that she wanted to help stop the Slytherins."

"Oh. I haven't talked to her about that yet, no," Sirius said.

"What did you think I meant?" Remus asked but shook his head, deciding it was best if he didn't know. "She probably knows a lot about curses. Lycanthropy being a curse."

"Right, yeah, I'll talk to her. Now," Sirius said, redressing himself. "You should bring James a shirt."

"And distract him so he doesn't see you come down?" Remus guessed.

"I imagine he's not happy with me at the moment," Sirius smiled ruefully.

"I'll see what he thinks about this curse thing while I'm at it," Remus said.

"No," Sirius said quickly, "he's worried enough as it is. You saw him. Mandrakes and Lily and -" Sirius made an odd grunting noise.

"He was there. And giving him something substantial to think about will help him," Remus argued.

"The animagus thing is substantial. It's just not pressing." Sirius sighed, taking time to adjust his wristwatch. "Would you mind terribly if I took Eilidh to the shack?"

A protective growl rose to Remus's throat. He swallowed it down and stuffed his fists in his pockets. He trusted Eilidh. And she already knew. She was his friend.

"I'll make sure she doesn't know how to get into it," Sirius vowed.

"Yeah, alright," Remus said with more force than he had wanted.

Sirius nodded his thanks. "We'll meet there before curfew."

"All five of us, you mean?" Remus clarified because at this point he really didn't know.

"Yeah," Sirius said so quietly Remus wasn't sure he actually heard it, and then he was gone.

***Love Fiction 2018, thank you :)

****I am finding time to write but I am not finding time to edit; your patience is admirable and I love you all. :D

I'm going on a much-needed vacation from life next week so I'll be posting again, probably on Friday -ish... maybe Thursday... we'll see how things work out.

From the bottom of my heart, thank you for reading :)

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Until next time,

XO