***Warning: Very PG-13 events in this chapter. Please act responsibly.

It was perhaps a mistake to put a bed in the shrieking shack. To Dumbledore's benefit, he did not predict that two teenagers would steal away to snog in a place that was exclusively meant for a werewolf's transformation, and he did think that the werewolf was much more responsible than he actually was. But, indeed, it was a mistake to put a bed in the shrieking shack as three boys could account for when they saw much more of a woman's flesh than they were accustomed to seeing.
As Eilidh adjusted her shirt with a pink tinge to her cheeks, Sirius brushed his hair back, cleared his throat and attempted to pretend that none of that ever happened.
"All right, mates?" he grinned.
Peter, who had closed his eyes, smiled tightly. Remus pretended to be very interested in a nail in the door frame. James, with his mouth opened in shock, was still trying to find a safe place to fix his gaze.
"Oh dear God, there's a blindfold," he groaned, pointing to the piece of fabric that had been abandoned on the floor.
"That's for my hair!"
"That was for Remus's sake," said Eilidh and Sirius together, respectively.
"You should have brought three of them."
"Kinky," muttered Peter and James, respectively.
"I made him promise that Eilidh wouldn't know how to get in," Remus explained.
"Right, and she doesn't, so let's get to it, yeah?" Sirius said.
"Mate, no offence, but I -" James started.
"Get in here," Sirius grumbled and pulled James in.
"I do have to sleep on that bed," Remus said, striding over.
"You can still sleep on the bed," Sirius said, irritably.
"Yeah but now every time I'm going to be thinking of -"
"Oh, please don't!" Eilidh implored.
"Yeah, don't," Sirius growled.
"I'm not the one that was shagging on another blokes bed," Remus said, shrugging innocently.
"We weren't shagging!" Eilidh snarled.
"It looked -" James started.
"We weren't!" Sirius and Eilidh yelled.
"All right, all right, don't get your knickers in a twist," James said.
"Too late," Peter muttered.
James sniggered.
"Right. You lads have a good night," Eilidh said, starting for the door.
"No, wait. I need to talk to you," Sirius said.
"And if you don't know how to get in, you won't be able to get out," Remus added. Sirius nodded his thanks. James made a choking noise. "That one doesn't work," Remus said.
"Mate. Yes, it does," James said and when Remus continued to look blankly at him, "think about it."
"If we have to think about it, it's not a very good joke," Eilidh said.
"You're just -"
"Mate, shut up before you get hit," Sirius said.
"Oh, are you threatening me now?" James said.
"I'm not talking about me," Sirius said, looking at Eilidh who was glaring at James.
"Sorry, Nicnevin, it was just a joke," James said. Eilidh gave a partial smile and looked away.
"Pete. What happened with Dumbledore?" Sirius asked.
"You got sent to Dumbledore?" Eilidh asked.
"Yeah, right after dinner. He asked about the fight then said to send you to him but James said you weren't feeling good and went to bed early so you'll have to talk to him sometime before Herbology," Peter said.
"Okay, no detentions, no suspensions?" Sirius asked.
"Detention for the weekend with Professor Slughorn," Peter said.
"No muggle school for you then?" Sirius asked. Peter nodded shortly. "See. What'd I tell you? We good now?" Sirius held his hand out for Peter.
"Yeah," Peter accepted.
"Onto more pressing matters," Remus prompted.
"Yes. What'd you tell them?" Sirius asked.
"Nothing. As you asked," Remus said.
Sirius nodded, took a brief moment to gather his thoughts, and told them everything he told Remus in their dormitory, more articulately and leaving out his doubts about James. He was not interrupted once which was strange for them, in fact, they hung onto his every word, listening with patience. In the end, Peter looked a little sick to his stomach while James and Eilidh exchanged a quick look then stared back at Sirius. It was Remus's nods of agreement that sent them into a state of confusion. Sirius simply wasn't expecting it, he didn't think that he had really convinced Remus. James and Eilidh couldn't believe that Remus would agree with such a baseless conspiracy. They exchanged looks again.
"Sirius…" Eilidh began reluctantly. Sirius's expression changed quickly from irritants to patients. "It was the calming draught. Professor Haas -"
"Why would Pomfrey say that she could bring him out of it if it was just the calming draught and then not do it?" Sirius argued.
"I don't know, maybe she found something else while you were with McGonagall. You weren't allowed back in after that," Eilidh said.
"Then why would she avoid the question when I went back to ask her about it? She all but threw me out," Sirius said.
"When did you have time to go back and ask her about it?" James asked.
"Yesterday morning," Sirius said.
"I don't know, man, this all seems too complicated to me. And I think I would have known if someone put that complex a curse on me. If there is a curse like that," James said.
"Maybe someone erased your memory," Sirius said. "I heard it's a pretty simple spell to perform, although risky."
"Eilidh, is there a spell like that?" Remus asked, not realising the silent conversation that was passing between James and Sirius. Eilidh didn't answer, she was so focused on Sirius and James that she didn't hear Remus's question. She made eye contact with Peter and he looked away guiltily.
"Would you lot mind giving Sirius and me a moment alone, please?" James asked politely, his voice thick with emotion.
Remus looked from James to Sirius and back again. Peter inhaled deeply and held it in. Eilidh looked at Sirius, trying to gauge his emotions.
"Yeah, all right," she all but whispered and she, Remus, and Peter got up to leave.
"Peter you can stay if you want," James said.
"I'm good," Peter said.
"We're putting a silencing charm on the door. We won't be a minute," James promised. He shut the door carefully, performed the silencing charm, and turned to face his best friend. "What do I have to do to put this behind us?" he asked.
Sirius half shrugged and shook his head, his mouth set stubbornly closed.
It felt like there were oceans between them when really it was just a few planks of wood and an abused chair.
"If I could go back and do it again -"
"You'd do the same thing," Sirius said, "as you said you would that night."
"Yeah, well, I changed my mind. I'd go back and do it all over if it meant that we didn't have to be like this!" James said, gesturing to the space between them.
"Oh, so I'm the arsehole then?" Sirius snarled.
"Mate," James said then let out a noise in between a groan and a yell. He massaged the back of his neck and told himself that it would be childish to kick the chair out of anger even though his leg muscles convulsed at the thought.
"There's nothing you can do to fix it," Sirius said.
"Great, so we're just going to be like this now? All our years of friendship down the drain because some girl you didn't care about a few months ago lost two minutes of memory?" His emotions were fighting to be let out pressing against every fibre of his being and wouldn't stop until he burst. James clenched his first around the ghost of his broomstick wishing he could fly for hours through the bitter cold. He willed his feet to stay planted to the ground, wishing he could run through the forest, his feet pounding against wet leaves and snow patches. His heart beat like it would if he were doing either.
"It's not about her! This is about you. And what you did to save your own skin. You're no better than the Slytherins," Sirius said. "You didn't even give her a chance to be okay with it. And you know what, maybe it is a little about her because the most fucked up thing about this is she thinks you're her friend…"
James felt nothing. For once in his life, everything was radio silence.
"Maybe she is. Maybe this is how you treat your friends. What's going to happen to me when I hear something I'm not meant to? Or Remus? Or Peter?"
James shook his head. "I wouldn't..."
Sirius rubbed his brow bone with the tips of his fingers. "I don't know what to say anymore. Do you honestly not see that what you did was wrong?"
James opened his mouth to say something, realised that he didn't have anything to say, and closed it again.
Sirius laughed humorously. "Fucking hell, James."
"I was protecting us. I was protecting her!" James argued.
"Her?" Sirius grew flustered. He brushed his hair out of his face and sat on the bed. "You didn't give her a chance to be okay with it."
"And what's the best outcome of her being okay with it? She'd want to join us? She'd, by some miracle be fine with not joining us and have to keep our secret?"
"So you steal her memories!"
"It was two minutes of her life!"
"Exactly!" Sirius was on his feet again. "You stole two minutes of her life. Two minutes that could have made her who she is."
Something sparked inside of James. Then the guilt hit him. He sat down in the abused chair, it creaked under his weight.
He had killed two minutes of Eilidh Nicnevin, his friend, without giving her a chance.
Another wave of guilt hit him like a punch to the gut from the biggest of Slytherins. He thought he might vomit.
This was Eilidh Nicnevin who cried when he was in the Hospital wing. She took his side against her best friend. She fought a seventh year for him after a less than a month of knowing him. He should have, at the very least, given her a chance. What the hell was he thinking? He wasn't obviously.
"Should we tell her?" James asked.
"No, we can't tell her!" Sirius yelled. He paused to listen at the door. James cradled his head in his hands.
"Should we at least tell her about the plan?"
"No," Sirius growled.
"We have to do something!" James exclaimed.
"We can't do anything," Sirius said, slowly. "We pretend it didn't happen. We don't want something we say or do triggering her memory, we don't know what could happen. What if we fucked up her head or something?"
"Oh, shit," James winced as another wave of guilt hit him.
"Yeah, oh shit's right," Sirius said bitterly. "Now, you can't fucking tell me that you're acting like yourself."
"What you think this has something to do with the curse?" James asked.
"Maybe," Sirius shrugged.
"Mate, there's no curse, to begin with."
"So this was all you?" Sirius challenged.
"Yeah," James breathed, adding the hole in his chest.
"No. I refuse to believe - I'm going to continue looking into this with your help or not," Sirius said, fiercely.
"I'll help but I don't thi-"
"Yeah, I know what you think. Let's go I can't talk about this anymore," Sirius said.
James grabbed his arm to stop him from opening the door. "Mate, I really am sorry. If there's anything I can do to make this right…" James dropped his hand because really there was nothing he could do. "If there's anything I can do for Eilidh, let me know."
"Yeah, whatever," Sirius grumbled, half opened the door, then pulled it closed again. "Actually, her brother might be getting some shit for the werewolf thing. Look into that while I look into this?"
"Okay. What's his name?" James asked.
"Lucas. Ravenclaw, second year."
"He might be friends with your brother," James shrugged.
"I really don't know and at this point, I hope he's not," Sirius said, quickly, and abruptly walked out. It was both the end of the conversation and the end of an era because nothing would ever be the same again. They were stuck in a codependent relationship built on trust, loyalty, and violence. The violence was steadily increasing. The trust was slowly being chipped away. Their loyalty was all they had left to rely on.
James reached the bottom of the stairs moments after Sirius. He was already wrapped around Eilidh's waist, his chin resting on her head while they laughed at something Remus said. He wanted to hug her himself, and apologise and beg for her forgiveness, but Sirius was right, they needed to act like everything was normal. Eilidh would never be able to trust them again if she found out, he knew by the way she looked at him when he took his place beside her - there was nothing but trust and maybe even love when her eyes met his. It warmed him and made him sick to his stomach.

***I'm back :D Hope you guys enjoyed.

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